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are you more afraid of being rejected then you are of the possibility of never finding someone who you might connect with?

are you more afraid of failing then you are of missing an opportunity that may never be there again, or then living in regret?

more afraid of making a mistake then you are of never giving yourself a chance to succeed?

more afraid of looking like a fool then you are of doing nothing with your life and wasting a perfectly awesome day?

Rejection, and embarressment and ridicule? HA such foolish small insignificant fears, they are not even anything to be afraid of really,how the hell will that hurt you. the latter of the suggestions are more to be feared,wasted time, missed opportunitys wasted youth etc, id be willing to face all the former fears, in order to escape the latter.

do not be afraid of the wrong things people, learn to prioritize your fear, and it will drive you to great heights.

Edited by AutonomousOne1980

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Coincidentally, I've been thinking about this kind of thing a lot recently. I think I can trace most of it back through the years of my acne, in terms of becoming withdrawn and then having to try and pick myself up and get back out there again. When I reached the point where I finally realised it was a problem I needed to fix and that I needed to do that by getting out there and doing things - taking chances, taking opportunities, creating opportunities, seeing what life has to offer - it was like my mind went, "Hold on, I don't know how to embrace this stuff anymore".

As far as my skin was concerned, I developed reservations and anxieties about being in public, about being around people and about being judged or laughed at. It seemed like a fear which I had to face though and that's what I try and do as best I can when it's called for: feel the fear and do it anyway. That's how I try and approach it and that's the way I put it to others because I think that's the way to go.

But when it comes to life and making the most of it, I just can't seem to take the same approach. I don't know, it's like it's a big scary world which I don't seem to understand anymore. Like I've been out of the loop and can't quite get to grips with it so instead I'm on the outside looking in, watching everyone develop and grow and learn new stuff as I just get left behind and feel more and more inferior as time goes by.

I don't feel sorry for myself or anything though, not really. I mean, it's not like there's a one man pity party going on. Mainly, I'm just confused as to how I fell into this trap. The realisation of it all is positive though, means I'm aware there's something to fix I guess.

Generally, I suppose a lot of it comes down to confidence and having enough of it in order to then develop an enthusiasm for trying new things. There's always the chance new things won't be as you'd expect or that they don't work as planned, and there's always a chance that risks you take could fail. In those instances, it can come down to whether or not you take it to heart and dwell on it. If you can instead think to yourself, 'Oh well, that didn't go to plan, on to the next thing', then in years to come you'll have all these experiences to look back on. But if those instances where things don't go to plan make you withdraw because you feel that what you consider to be a failure reflects who you are as a person, or maybe it emphasises and reinforces whatever negative thoughts you have about yourself, in the end it feels safer not to take the risks. In my experience, it's an easy trap to fall in to and you don't quite realise it's happening.

Edited by PaulH85

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Some of us, cough cough, have to stop over thinking things. and ask themselves 'why its so hard to explain what their going through? why their writing is so elongated? and still leaving much to be unsaid i'm sure.. its because what you think you have.. is based on something that is not entirely true, that's why it doesn't make sense to comprehend it.

you want to change things?

start with something reasonable. Write it down. then do it. If that's not taking control of your fate, I don't know what is.

And Autonomous has clearly pointed out a good outline, and his other thread is great too. But still, if you keep overthinking, even... the latter part of autonomous's suggestions, you will just stress out your thoughts and disorganize your thinking itself with too. much. variety. of crap. at one. time.

Edited by Wangod

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