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Gutterflower

I seriously can not handle this.

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Okay... usually I am not too negative about things. I try to take this stuff in my stride where I can, but right now, all I can do is cry. Every single day. I haven't gone out with my friends for weeks. I've been fobbing them off because I don't want to see them.

I don't know what to do. I've got this horrible feeling and it won't go away. I can't run away from it, it's constantly there, it's staring back at me, and I can't find myself caring about things anymore. All I have is this feeling of desperation. I want to sleep and not wake up. I know it's dramatic.

I had a lady come into work two days ago and tell me my face is disturbing.

At what point does being strong just mean nothing?

I've done nothing different. I eat the same things. I use the same products. But it just gets worse. And I get more and more depressed and I feel like nothing is even worth it. I feel like I just won't be happy again.

It's all completely retarded.

I'm just sick of being optimistic.

Edited by Gutterflower

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God I'm so sorry girl. I know exactly what you mean by that feeling. I use to have it all the time, I still do sometimes. I got to a point in my life where I just could not take it anymore, 10 years of trying to remain positive wih nothing really in return but more and more harsh recommendations, I just couldn't do it. I finally gave into accutane. Have you ever considered it? I'm on my fourth week and I Couldn't be happier, I can start focusing on age prevention instead of this nonsense called acne. I wish I could give you a huge hug. It's hard too when your friend don't have acne. That's how it always was with me. And I always had to come up with an excuse as to why I stayed In the house. It will get better!

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God I'm so sorry girl. I know exactly what you mean by that feeling. I use to have it all the time, I still do sometimes. I got to a point in my life where I just could not take it anymore, 10 years of trying to remain positive wih nothing really in return but more and more harsh recommendations, I just couldn't do it. I finally gave into accutane. Have you ever considered it? I'm on my fourth week and I Couldn't be happier, I can start focusing on age prevention instead of this nonsense called acne. I wish I could give you a huge hug. It's hard too when your friend don't have acne. That's how it always was with me. And I always had to come up with an excuse as to why I stayed In the house. It will get better!

Thank you... :)

I'll have to get a referral from my doctor. At this point, Accutane is the only thing I haven't tried. I'm 22 and my skin has never been this bad before. I just want to get to a point where I can look at myself and not burst into tears. And I feel like such a huge idiot for getting so upset over it. My face just hurts. All the time. I can't ignore it because I can actually feel it.

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Okay... usually I am not too negative about things. I try to take this stuff in my stride where I can, but right now, all I can do is cry. Every single day. I haven't gone out with my friends for weeks. I've been fobbing them off because I don't want to see them.

I don't know what to do. I've got this horrible feeling and it won't go away. I can't run away from it, it's constantly there, it's staring back at me, and I can't find myself caring about things anymore. All I have is this feeling of desperation. I want to sleep and not wake up. I know it's dramatic.

I had a lady come into work two days ago and tell me my face is disturbing.

At what point does being strong just mean nothing?

I went from this... pretty much as good as my skin was going to get.

To this.

I've done nothing different. I eat the same things. I use the same products. But it just gets worse. And I get more and more depressed and I feel like nothing is even worth it. I feel like I just won't be happy again.

It's all completely retarded.

I'm just sick of being optimistic.

I know how you feel, I haven't been out for months ... pm me if you want to chat

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I'll be 22 in Nov, trust me I feel your pain. Your face hurts? That must mean you have a lot of inflammation. The accutane would prob take care of that. My face is actually less red instead of more red. Look into it. It's a strong medication. Weigh the pros and cons. Take care of your body. For me the pros outweigh the cons. It's hard being a girl and having acne. We already have so much pressure to look beautiful. I wish I could of told that lady off.

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I know how you feel, I haven't been out for months ... pm me if you want to chat

At this rate, I don't reckon I will ever go out again. :wall:

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I hadn't been "out" "out" in years. I kid you not. I was on a retnoid for a year and I was so scared of sun damage but didn't want to put block on for fear of breaking out, so I just stayed inside. Then I got off it and my skin freaked out so I stayed inside even more. Now I go out but I still avoid the sun because I have a fair complexion and I'm on tane.

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I'll be 22 in Nov, trust me I feel your pain. Your face hurts? That must mean you have a lot of inflammation. The accutane would prob take care of that. My face is actually less red instead of more red. Look into it. It's a strong medication. Weigh the pros and cons. Take care of your body. For me the pros outweigh the cons. It's hard being a girl and having acne. We already have so much pressure to look beautiful. I wish I could of told that lady off.

I didn't even have the audacity to defend myself. I just flippantly started talking about properties (I work as a receptionist, real estate agency) which was the reason she actually came in.

I don't even care about my body. It sounds stupid, but at this rate, it's not like I'm using it for anything anyway. Just sitting on my backside, avoiding people. :doh:

I'm pretty average looking even without acne, it's fricking hard to have any self-confidence with a face full of crap. It makes me feel like I don't even have a personality anymore.

I have heard loads about Accutane from poking around the Org. :)

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Wow. Sometimes people really do surprise me, not in a good way. I mean take care of your body on tane and prior. ;-) ill be reading. ;-) everythings gonna turn out just right

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Arrrghhhh I just wrote a really long reply and then I got timed out or something. Bah! OK I'm going to try again.

Gutterflower. You are BEAUTIFUL. Not average looking. Very very pretty. Your eyes are amazing. And your cute nose and your angelic lips. There are so many people that would swap with you in a second. And the best part is, your inner beauty even shows on photos. The second photo was so full of emotion in your eyes it took me a second to see anything about your skin.

I'm sad that you're not feeling positive today, I find your posts so uplifting and inspirational. I actually want to get on a plane to Aus and give you a huge cuddle. And then get drunk with you :)

If you have a free second, there are two things that I do to cheer myself down when I feel like life is fly kicking me in the head:

1. Write a list of the good things in my life. I start with things I like about the way I look - eg. you have an awesome rig. And your eyes are stunning. And your hair is so silky and luscious etc etc. Then there's the fact that you are an incredible artist, you live in the best country in the world... And write down all the things you like in life.

2. I read this blog: 1000 Awesome Things. I came across it after watching this video in a uni lecture:

Trust me, it will make you smile even if you don't mean to.

3. I look at pictures and videos of sloths. Those guys never fail to put a smile on my face.

Anyway, I really really really hope you can get happy soon. I'm sending big hugs across the oceans for you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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You girls are strong. I'm getting better at letting go of what people think but to have people do that to you must be so hard to go through and I would not be able to empathize with you unless I was in that situation. Keep strong, you are not alone in these situations.

Edit: also your eyes reveal how hard it must be.

Edited by iAcne

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Abi - Thank you... :D It's so hard to see the good in myself when there's so much obscuring it. I just wish I could understand what I've done to make it get so bad so quickly. I hate being so deflective when it comes to compliments, but for some reason, the part of my brain responsible for my crappy self-esteem is like "Why are you patronizing me?! Shut up!" Completely irrational.

I'm cruising the 1000 Awesome Things site now... I think I'll be up a while tonight here. :D Thank you! And you have to be a real hardass not to like sloths.

iAcne - It's sucky that people who have never had to live with acne don't really understand it. It's like they think acne sufferers are dirty people. It's ridiculous. She was more disturbed I think because my face was so dry that day that it was pretty flaky. Hard to believe when you see the picture of me where it's like all red and inflamed and greasy. Bleugh...

I didn't mean to actually cry but I was like "Okay I'll take a picture" and my face came up on the screen and bam, yep, crying. Again! Surpriiiiise...

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I know how you feel, I haven't been out for months ... pm me if you want to chat

At this rate, I don't reckon I will ever go out again. :wall:

I am going to try and go out I'm quite sensitive to the sun. .. so will need to wear sun cream. . not a huge fan but I trust in the simple brand!

try and go out, like others said you are beautiful, seriously.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. No one should have to hear nasty comments about that but there's tactless, rude people who do it everyday, and not just about acne.

I agree, you're still beautiful and just remember this is temporary. Have you tried taking any birth control pills? I wonder if you should have your hormones tested if this has just started recently, and there's no other changes. Hormones can be such a wonderful thing. :rolleyes: I get huge, inflamed pimples all the time now because I'm pregnant. Otherwise, I'm sure the Accutane can help you too. No one likes to go on it unless necessary, but if your skin being better will make you feel better, it's worth it.

I wish I was one of those people who could have a positive outlook no matter what. My mom told me once that my aunt had horrible cystic acne when she was young and back then, they didn't go to the derm about it, they just were stuck with it. When she got older, she was able to take something and it got better. But my mom said she had huge painful cysts and it was horrible, but my aunt was generally a happy person and never got down or depressed about it. I guess it's all about your outlook, but it's understandable for it to be so hard to maintain that positivity. I know it is for me.

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Ugh that lady is a retard.

And I know that feeling of desperation. Got hit by it pretty hard recently. I am pretty pessimistic normally too which doesn't help things haha.

Even with your breakout though I think you are attractive. Not just saying that to be nice. I like the fact that you have a Marvel comics tshirt on too haha. Seeing the pain in your eyes in the second photo really made me feel bad for you to since I know how that feels.

Hope you feel better and hope that lady like breaks out in a rash on her face lol.

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Okay... usually I am not too negative about things. I try to take this stuff in my stride where I can, but right now, all I can do is cry. Every single day. I haven't gone out with my friends for weeks. I've been fobbing them off because I don't want to see them.

I don't know what to do. I've got this horrible feeling and it won't go away. I can't run away from it, it's constantly there, it's staring back at me, and I can't find myself caring about things anymore. All I have is this feeling of desperation. I want to sleep and not wake up. I know it's dramatic.

I had a lady come into work two days ago and tell me my face is disturbing.

At what point does being strong just mean nothing?

I went from this... pretty much as good as my skin was going to get.

To this.

I've done nothing different. I eat the same things. I use the same products. But it just gets worse. And I get more and more depressed and I feel like nothing is even worth it. I feel like I just won't be happy again.

It's all completely retarded.

I'm just sick of being optimistic.

I don't know what to say. I'm sure they hurt. I'm not going to give you advice (of what you should have done to avoid them), because I believe that this kind of acne has a will of its own and was always going to happen. Like you said before, you've done nothing different. eat the same, use the same cosmetics. It's unfair.

You're angry, depressed and want to give up. I understand that. You don't want to go out and let people see your face nor do you want to go to work. I understand that as well.

The harsh truth is, acne makes people ugly. Denying that would mean I would lie to myself. But you're a pretty woman without acne. The picture is proof of it. You were clean once before, so you can become clean again. Don't convince yourself acne is part of you.

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I agree with the people here, Gutterflower, when they say you are pretty pretty. lol That first pic you posted had me going "Whoa..." on the inside. You're beautiful. No matter what they say. Words can't bring you down. ;)

The breakout is of a transient nature, I would suppose? I'm not an expert as I don't have acne but... Doesn't it come and go in waves?

And that woman who said your face was disturbing... There's a good chance she said that she didn't mean it. She probably just said it because *drumroll* she's insecure! :lol: It seems to happen a lot that some people put down others in order to deal with their own inner turmoil. So she might have used your acne for this. She probably either exaggerated how she really felt about it or she doesn't even find it disturbing to any degree at all. :shrug:

You're hot, Gutterflower. Don't forget that. :hifive:

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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The harsh truth is, acne makes people ugly.

Have I read this out of context or are you saying that people with acne are ugly?

Well, I have acne myself, and it makes me look unhygienic, old and unhealthy. Without it I look better. The topic starter isn't ugly at all, but acne does things to people's looks.

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The harsh truth is, acne makes people ugly.

Have I read this out of context or are you saying that people with acne are ugly?

Personally, I feel acne in and of itself may not necessarily be desireable but it doesn't make people ugly. Only in severe, severe, severe, severe cases where it is genuinely disfiguring. And I'd say 99% of acne sufferers aren't in that catagory.

A bit like venturing into a mine field, stating my opinion on that but I assume people realize I'm not intending to offend.

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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I don't think it makes people ugly. I think it makes ourselves feel ugly and self conscious though, and it's really upsetting to feel self conscious and not enjoy things as much as we could. We're our own worst critics.

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I remember reading many of your posts, and I always thought you were an optimistic fool.

and now your a pessimistic fool.

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First of all, you are a beautiful girl. Don't let ignorant people tell you any different.

Try not to let your skin keep you from doing things with your friends. I know it can be hard to do that sometimes. Remember that your friends want to be with you because they like you and have fun with you! When I mention something to my friends about how horrible my skin was in high school, they are literally like "what? you had acne?". (And just as a side note, I did have pretty severe acne. I think my friend's response is a combo of not remembering and just not caring/noticing what my skin was looking like).

I think it is important to let yourself be upset sometimes. You don't need to be optimistic all the time. It is ok to vent. I know it's difficult, but as someone else said - you're not alone :)

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I think it is important to let yourself be upset sometimes. You don't need to be optimistic all the time. It is ok to vent.

I think that's very good advice. I agree wholeheartedly.

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