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abigailwheeler

Boyfriends/Girlfriends/Partners and your acne

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ahh this whole conversation is wonderful! i enjoyed reading all of the posts.

I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now, and as for my acne, i didnt hide it from him much. my acne is generally always light, sometimes moderate, sometimes nonexistent. i do have a lot of HP though. anyways, i used to wear a bit of make up around him in the beginning, and whenever i'd have a break out, i'd try so hard to not look him in the eye or anything! but after a few months, i opened up to him about it. he was just like, "what acne? i dont see anything.." he's generally less observant about it, which makes me feel better :) but whenever i do feel really down about it, he'll tell me i'm beautiful, and just, you know, be all sweet :wub: nonetheless, whenever i have a breakout, i'm still rather conscious about my skin whenever we talk, but he never says anything about me breaking out, he always tells me that he never notices anything until i mention it :P i dont mention it obsessively though, as i do try to keep my mind off of it, keep myself sane. but yes, my boyfriend is the love of my life, he's delightful :)

and Ashley, i'm so excited to see where things will end up with gym guy! do keep us posted ;)

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I like reading all your stories, and I really do agree with all the people saying that the person who loves you will not care about your acne.

But, unfortunately I have no stories. Never dated.. never know what to say to guys and don't really want anyone to be that close to my face..

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Lol well i meant something like school you know? I will try saying hi tomorrow if he is there. and hope things take off.

Ok Like everyone else I have enjoyed reading thru this thread!

To i am ashley - Regarding your crush at the gym. A good way to maybe start a convo- Bring something that you can 'casually' forget on a peice of equipment, so he has a reason to be the gentleman and bring you your lost item! This way you may not be trying to start up a convo with nothing. But good luck!!

I will share my story also. I have been with my Bf for 5yrs now. I've also had mild/moderate acne, and when we met, it was mild as I was taking BC, so the breakouts werent to bad. We worked togthere, and ended up having some uptraining togethere also. But he was too scared to talk to me and ask me out! One day he slipped me a note asking me to call him, I was to shy to call, so I texted him. Since we had our first date, we made it official, and have been inseperable ever since!

He doesn't say anything about my acne, even when it got bad when I came of BC. but he does get mad at me when I pick my face, which i am trying not to do so much anymore. Thru it all he still tells me I'm beatiful and will always be there to support me :wub:

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These are all so cute. (: Well I guess I may as well contribute my "story" as well, right? :D

I've been dating my boyfriend since October 2009, in Grade 11. There was a period of time when I would have never even CONTEMPLATED the idea of going out without some sort of makeup. Especially not school. I had to have my concealer, my face powder, lipgloss, and my eyeliner or mascara. I was so self-conscious of my hyperpigmentation and I desperately tried to disguise my dark spots. It worked pretty well, as far as the pigmentation went. But as we all know, you can't really hide bumps with makeup. :| But I tried. It didn't help that all my friends had clear to almost clear skin. Anyway, when we first started dating, my insecurities went up by like, a bajillion. Why? Because I wasn't used to having someone so close to my face, especially a boy. (he's my first real boyfriend) Whenever we would hang out, I was constantly blotting my face and reapplying powder, because I was so worried about what he thought about me. I was scared to let him touch my face, because I didn't want him to wipe my makeup off. When he'd hug me, I was always thinking about getting makeup on his clothes. (which actually used to happen quite a bit) But as time went by and I realized that he loved me for me, I gradually stopped feeling so self-conscious and awkward around him. And eventually, it got to the point where I stopped wearing makeup around him, and now I don't even wear makeup anymore. And even though I have whiteheads, hyperpigmentation, clogged pores, and a stubborn as fuck eye rash ... he stills calls me beautiful. He gets upset with me when I say that "I feel ugly today". He's not afraid to touch my face, and press his cheek to mine. I recently went from about armpit length hair to a very, very short cut, almost to my scalp. (this was by choice, by the way) Even though there are days when I feel I look like absolute shit .. he always knows just what to say to make me feel better. It is the best feeling in the world. Apparently, he can't even tell when I'm wearing makeup and when I'm not. LOL. And even that I no longer have long hair and foundation to hide behind anymore, I still know that there's at least one person in the world who still find me attractive, inside and out. ^_^ I know that I don't exactly have the worst acne in the world, but it's still nice to have someone who doesn't seem to care about it, regardless.

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I have a story! It's a bit different then everyone else's! But I hope it makes you feel thankful to be dating someone that's supportive and does things to make you feel good about yourself! I dated this one guy not too long ago and he's very handsome! on the outside at least.... But I got the courage to not wear makeup around him and it's not pretty let me tell you. I look smoking with it on, but without it no. Anyways. One time I was taking off my makeup before we were going to be and for some reason we both were in the bathroom at the same time. I had done so much research on this site and decided to use EVOO to take off my makeup. It's non cosmogenetic or whatever that word is, so it doesn't clog your pores right. Well this boy was like you're putting that on your face?!?! No Wonder You have PIMPLES! WOW! I remember being so hurt, I told him to go home. I went inside my room, and cried my eyes out. It hurt so much and I was so frustrated with having acne on my face. I couldn't believe he just said it like that. That's like telling a fat person, you're eating McDonalds? No wonder you're fat! Except EVOO is good for your face!!!! I'm thankful now looking back that we're not together. He was so critical. Now, I'm seeing this one boy, that's been in my life here and there, but now we're pretty into each other. The sad part is that he lives in another town, but I visit him often. BUT the good part is, he lives in another town, so right now I'm working on my acne so that when I visit him, it looks good! I can also let my face rest and not wear so much makeup all the time like I did with the other guy. Plus he's always telling me compliments and he's just ten times more fun. So if you have a guy that supports you, BE THANKFUL! Cuz acne is one of the worst things people can have, and to have someone that still stays by your side and still love you, is one of the best thing a person can have(:

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Cuz acne is one of the worst things people can have,

...ok. i almost convinced myself that this wasn't a big deal.. but obviously it is...

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I use to date a guy who had acne. I never really noticed it ever, just sometimes because we'd talk about it since we both had it. I wore make up sometimes and sometimes not. At that point I never really cared too much because it was minor and a little bad only sometimes. But I was comfortable about it and he never was negative about it.

We broke up and my acne got worse over time. I went from almost clear to severe to moderate to minor...it jumbled everywhere. I became more and more self conscious until I was barely able to go out and I developed social anxiety. I thought id never meet anyone because I was so self conscious and broken out. I reached the point where I stopped trying to impress anyone because I thought what is the point? I'm not dating these random strangers I see. Around this time (a little over two months ago) I was buying a phone at Target when the guy selling it to me kept talking to me. I thought this was odd because he seemed intersted in my personal life. At the end of the sale he wrote his phone number on the receipt "in case I needed after hours help with my phone". At this time I was wearing a little mineral make up and my skin was not too bad...but I was perplexed why he was hitting on me because I thought I looked TERRIBLE.

We have been dating these past two months I cant remember the last time I was this happy. He never mentions my acne, except for once he asks if I have ever had a pimple on my tattoo (on my shoulder) I said no because I was in such shock. He never had mentioned acne of any type before and it made me shrink a little thinking he must know...as if my acne was a secret :whistle: but I stopped wearing make up 99% of the time so of course he notices. He just never ever mentioned acne on my face which I'm greatful. We have not been dating long enough for me to mention my acne but I almost did once. I'm just too scared. He has perfect skin!!! Beautiful and a smooth even dark brown. Although yesterday I realized he has like 4 spots on his lower jaw/chin, prob. from shaving or something. But he openly kinda scratching at it or something so it makes me think its not a big deal to him.

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Cute stories all! Honestly, acne doesn't really matter to me, at all.lol. I think at a certain point you are 100% comfortable with the person so it doesn't matter anyways.

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I didn't mean in it that sense really.... It's just that I have acne. ALOT and it brings me down alot.... It really has taken a toll on my life... I just feel like because of it everything is worse.... But i'm trying to stay positive and continue to find a cure! I didn't mean to offend anyone....

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I use to date a guy who had acne. I never really noticed it ever, just sometimes because we'd talk about it since we both had it. I wore make up sometimes and sometimes not. At that point I never really cared too much because it was minor and a little bad only sometimes. But I was comfortable about it and he never was negative about it.

We broke up and my acne got worse over time. I went from almost clear to severe to moderate to minor...it jumbled everywhere. I became more and more self conscious until I was barely able to go out and I developed social anxiety. I thought id never meet anyone because I was so self conscious and broken out. I reached the point where I stopped trying to impress anyone because I thought what is the point? I'm not dating these random strangers I see. Around this time (a little over two months ago) I was buying a phone at Target when the guy selling it to me kept talking to me. I thought this was odd because he seemed intersted in my personal life. At the end of the sale he wrote his phone number on the receipt "in case I needed after hours help with my phone". At this time I was wearing a little mineral make up and my skin was not too bad...but I was perplexed why he was hitting on me because I thought I looked TERRIBLE.

We have been dating these past two months I cant remember the last time I was this happy. He never mentions my acne, except for once he asks if I have ever had a pimple on my tattoo (on my shoulder) I said no because I was in such shock. He never had mentioned acne of any type before and it made me shrink a little thinking he must know...as if my acne was a secret :whistle: but I stopped wearing make up 99% of the time so of course he notices. He just never ever mentioned acne on my face which I'm greatful. We have not been dating long enough for me to mention my acne but I almost did once. I'm just too scared. He has perfect skin!!! Beautiful and a smooth even dark brown. Although yesterday I realized he has like 4 spots on his lower jaw/chin, prob. from shaving or something. But he openly kinda scratching at it or something so it makes me think its not a big deal to him.

AWE! I want your relationship. That is really a cute story, and I hope the best for you two!

Thanks :) I have been reading your gym guy story too, good luck! Approaching people is scary but he seems very obviously interested!!

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I'm loving reading all of these stories! Keep them coming everyone!

Yesterday morning I thought my skin was looking OK "is my skin better Rob?!?!" I said. "No, it's not going to get better over night Abs be patient". Damn honest men! On the other hand, he gave me more compliments than ever all weekend trying to make me feel good.

He has to wait 20 minutes to use the bathroom while I faff with my face, I am so glad he is understanding. And he keeps making sure that I am sticking to the derm prescribed regimen too :)

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My girlfriend always tells me how beautiful I am even if my skin is bad. It's nice because I used to be with a girl who would hold it against me and make nasty comments. It's helped me feel better.

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awwwww i like all of your stories. my story is a bit interesting. i am dating a guy right now, and we arent official or anything, but i mean..i visit him every other weekend and stay at his house for 3-4 nights at a time. lemme tell you, that is a HUGE step for me to even be able to spend the night at his house. the thing with him and i is..we talked for 2.5 years, starting online, and then on texting, and then eventually on the phone all the time, n i was always so afraid to take that step to hang out in person. we got so freakin open and close with each other over the years...eventually i got to a point of saying OMG i am just going to go on a date with him already! before i did though, i told him how my face was broken out (this was my first time explaining my insecurities of my acne and crap) and said how i wear makeup to cover it up and how im afraid he will be so grossed out by my face. he explained to me that this girl he dated had REALLY bad acne and that didnt phase him, and also...he used to have a lot of acne issues himself (which i knew a lil about, bc he told me how he tried diff medication as a teen) but as an adult, he has GREAT skin and thats what i was so worried about. he then proceeded to tell me his insecurities about his back acne (which isnt bad at all in my book, but he does have some). i told him i was afraid that when we finally went on a date, he would run away :( lol anyway...our first date was at the beach, and when we FINALLY saw each other we just held each other, and in the hug, i hid my face from him forever and he kept telling me to not be afraid and not hide. eventually we were on the cliffs, at sunset (though there was still plenty of light to see my ugly acne (make up doesnt cover it PERFECTLY) and he eventually lifted my face to look at him and said my face isnt bad, that i had nothing to worry about and we kissed. that was all good and well, though after that he acted odd about other stuff. i have kind of explained it on here at diff points. but with the acne...i am way more comfortable with him than i have been with anyone else. i mean...eventually we got to a point of me going to see him (if i havent mentioned we live in diff towns) and i told him i was going to stay in a hotel teh first time. i was so insecure to take my make up off for bed in front of him! so i did just that, stayed in a hotel so i had my privacy to take my make up off, and do it in the morning, etc. but i had to accept the reality that i didnt have money to stay in a hotel every time, and we made plans for me to come back again, but stay at his house, and i had to suck it up and deal with it. i told him how i take awhile to get ready n shit cuz i do my make up, and he said its fine to use the bathroom and do what i need to do. but not only was i insecure about it in front of him, but he lives with family, so ...yeah. but it got to the point where i take my make up off at night, hang out in the living room at night where everyone can see me, and go to bed with him...all make up-less. i had to get to a point of realizing my acne is what it is, and no matter what i do its there , so ppl will either accept me for it or not. him and his fam seem to have accepted me for it. again he himself has breakouts on his back here n there still so..yeah. lol.

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Well, I'm not sure how 'cute' of a story this is...but I started seeing this guy about a month and a half ago. I'm on Accutane right now, so my skin was relatively clear - at times I felt really confident and at times I found myself making sure to walk next to/talk to him on my good side, trying to hide certain areas of my face, etc. etc...basically a self-esteem rollercoaster. Anyway, he wasn't the most complimentary human...I mean it's not like he ever told me I was cute or anything in person (he texted that to me..but I think that's different). I started occasionally sleeping over at his house like a month into it or whatever and obviously I didn't bring my face wash or moisturizer or anything like that..just a toothbrush (didn't want to break that whole masculinity thing I thought I had going, hahaha) and obviously I broke out as a result (and because Accutane is so up and down)

Anyway, I started pulling away from him because I was so self-conscious...didn't really talk much when we were together, wasn't engaged in conversations when I met his friends, got mad at him for any slighting comment he made (usually I love being made fun of/making fun of people)...etc. And, of course, he started getting weirded out and ended up telling me that he didn't think that we had 'chemistry' and that he didn't want to see me anymore. He said he really liked me, but something was just 'missing' towards the end. I got pretty sad after that (I think Accutane severely exacerbated my sadness), until I realized that I should never have let my insecurities about my skin get to me in the first place..I mean, he obviously liked me up until that point, so why did I think a break out would have changed that?

I'm trying to change my whole mindset about myself and how I react to things. All these stories are definitely helping - so many of you guys are so fortunate to have such supportive people in your life! (Abigail - I always see your posts about your boyfriend and they're really uplifting! haha)

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My boyfriend hears about my acne pretty much at least once everyday xD but he's sooo good with it and although I don't think he understands completely as he doesn't 'get' why I make such a big deal about it sometimes, he doesn't ever make me feel bad for it or whatever. I often stay over his or he'll stay at mine and he has to put up with the whole 'I'm going to the bathroom and won't be back for around half an hour' thing and then in the morning I have my alarm set so that I can get everything done before he gets up and all that stuff but it doesn't bother him as such, only the fact that it wakes him up. ;p He also puts up with me when I have sudocrem on (a white cream!) splodged on my face in areas and once when I asked him does it ever bother him, he was all 'I don't even take notice of it - you're gorgeous whatever' eeeeep! What a charmer ;p Lol!

He's seen me through my worst and my best with my skin but you would never know. Not once has he EVER made me feel bad about my skin in the years we've dated but at the same time he doesn't lie to me. I can't stand it when I say to my friends or whatever, 'Look at this massive pimple!' and they go, 'what? where? shut up jess' but when I say it to him he's just like 'Oooh you'll be alright hun, it'll go.' xD He knows I have bad skin sometimes but as far as I can tell anyway, it doesn't bother him.

I think the only times he has been frustrated with me is when I've cancelled things or refused to go out because of it - which I guess is understandable. For example we were meant to go to his friend's gig and I didn't in the end because of feeling so rubbish about myself :/ On the whole though he is really great at being there for me and making me feel good. (:

Edited by xjessaminx

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I met my other half when I was pretty. I had clear ass hell skin, and I was happy. Sorta. Ex boyfriends are crazy,

but anyways, this guy.... he and I became super close and in 10 days he won my heart and we dated for over a year. Around the 5th month of our relationship, my face became the ugly it is today. Prom.... was a horror for me. I had fun but I wanted to be pretty...

He never touched my face. He never held my face when he kissed me. He tried to ignore it. But I went insane one day and just blew up on him when he complained about his perfect face with one pimple. One harmless little one. He tried to understand me, but he never did. His face isn't covered in pimples and scars and blood. His face is amazing. He's so handsome. His female friends are drop dead gorgeous, and he's with me? The pizza face? It was quite difficult to not be jealous of all the girls talking to him. They're pretty. I'm the complete opposite.

But he always loved me. Even with my acne. He became a person who I'd cry to when I had a panic attack from looking at my face.

We broke up because he moved.... but I can honestly say no one else will love me for my inside like him. No one will loook at me like him. No one.

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This thread is so cute! This doesn't necessarily apply to the "superficial" person, but I truly believe if a guy/girl cares about you that their feelings will be unchanged with or without acne. Anyways, don't you want someone who loves you no matter what? If someone likes you, then they are obviously attracted to you - therefore they don't care about your acne!

Anyways, I've been "dating" this guy for almost 2 months now. I met him at school - we had math together for a full year and we were friendly but we never really talked outside of school, he had a girlfriend anyways and i wouldn't consider myself up as high "socially" as him and his friends. His and his girlfriend's relationship was always on and off, and I always found myself secretly keeping tabs on it, checking his fb page etc., even though i wasn't attracted to him in that way at all. They ended it for good and shortly after he started texting me and asking to take me out. One of my friends is really good friends with him, and we ended up going to a party at his house. Everything else from there is history hahaha

He's really wonderful though, like he's the first guy who's actually genuinely cared about me no matter how I look. I've never talked about my acne with him but I know it doesn't bother him. Whenever I make a comment about how gross i feel he gets really upset and reassures me i'm beautiful no matter what. And trust me, he's seen me at my worst. I've slept over at his house a couple of times and he loves the way i look in the morning, even though my hair is hideous and i'm oily and my acne is repulsive, he doesn't mind. if my nastiness can find someone who cares about me no matter how bad i think i look, then anyone can!

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I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 years. I only started to get acne/other skin problems about 8 months ago. My boyfriend has had pretty bad acne since I met him. He has quite a few deep scars on his cheeks, and still gets pimples/cysts. Honestly prior to me having acne, when I looked at him I never even paid attention to his acne/scarring (I didn't even pay attention to it, I swear!), still don't (I just noticed it a little more now, because well you know, when you have acne you start to pay attention to other people's skin, or maybe that's just me haha). But it has never bothered me that he has acne/scarring, when I look at him I just see him for handsome, loving, wonderful boyfriend he is.

When I first started to get acne and was very sad about it he told me I am beautiful no matter what and to not worry about it. He still to this day (6 and a half years later) tells me I am beautiful everyday. I know we are both extremely lucky to have each other. There are good guys/gals out there that honestly do not care if a person has acne or not, they care about the actual person!

When I get down about my skin, I just think to myself how lucky I am to have such a great boyfriend :)

Edited by veryhopefull

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This thread is so cute! This doesn't necessarily apply to the "superficial" person, but I truly believe if a guy/girl cares about you that their feelings will be unchanged with or without acne.

Totally agree. Part of me thinks it could strengthen a relationship because you'd have the knowledge that a partner is with you because of who you are on the inside and are not just basing things on a physical attraction.

Personally, I always wonder about that initial physical attraction. Or rather, I wonder about the chances of it happening for someone with acne compared to someone without. I've only every approached a small number of girls I was attracted to but I can think a couple who made it clear within moments of meeting that they did not find me physically appealing because of my acne.

Of course, that probably just means I've been unlucky or met the wrong people. It's just a shame that has to happen before we find the good people.

Edited by PaulH85

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My fiance' has never mentioned my acne and I'm glad he doesn't care! Especially since I never wear makeup, only recently have I been using a light powder. He had SEVERE acne when he was younger and it went away.

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Totally agree. Part of me thinks it could strengthen a relationship because you'd have the knowledge that a partner is with you because of who you are on the inside and are not just basing things on a physical attraction.

Personally, I always wonder about that initial physical attraction. Or rather, I wonder about the chances of it happening for someone with acne compared to someone without. I've only every approached a small number of girls I was attracted to but I can think a couple who made it clear within moments of meeting that they did not find me physically appealing because of my acne.

Of course, that probably just means I've been unlucky or met the wrong people. It's just a shame that has to happen before we find the good people.

As bad as this sounds, I would have considered myself an extremely critical and superficial person before I met the current guy I am with. I always pictured myself with an extremely tall, handsome, and athletic guy and i rejected a lot of great guys because they didn't meet my impossibly high "physical" standards. And then I met the guy I'm currently with. I wasn't attracted to him physically at all but he has such an amazing personality that it kept me intrigued. I turned him down multiple times but he was unusually persistent and eventually I ended up going to a party at his house and I realized I needed to give him a chance because he was literally perfect, besides me not having an initial attraction to him. I've definitely become less superficial and I'm starting to see that physically you can't change the cards you've been delt but you are 100% responsible for the way you act and treat other people. So in response to the initial physical attraction worry, I would say that there are definitely girls out there willing to look past the physical side. I did, and I even considered myself superficial!

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There are some really sweet stories on here, they are making me a little green eyed ;)

I was with my ex boyfriend for 5 years throughout high school. That was when my acne was at its worst and literally every single patch of my face was covered in large, red and very angry spots. I looked diseased and completely grotesque! I first started talking to my boyfriend in french class and was disgusted that he could see my skin so up close.. He is gorgeous, has flawless skin and is leagues above me... but for some reason after months of flirting he asked me out. For the next 5 years i battled with my acne including going through 2 courses of accutane. My ex stood by me throughout, while I was depressed and falling asleep all the time during accutane, when i wouldn't go out with him and his friends because of my skin, when i would dump him and tell him to leave (not because i wanted him to but because i couldn't accept that he was really with me and went a bit loopy, lol) also at the age of 15/16 kids are nasty and other lads including his 'so called' mates would tease him for having such a disgusting girlfriend ( nice :cry: ) Despite all of this he stood by me, supported my and thought i was beautiful.

Unfortunately we split when we both moved to universities on opposite sides of the country but we remain best friends and he still tells me now how beautiful I am. I am soooo grateful that I had him or I really don't know how I would have coped however I am now single, feeling a tad lonely and still covered in acne :cry:

Anyway to anyone out there who thinks acne means they cannot meet anyone or be loved its nonsense! Sorry about the cheesy cliche but.... LOVE IS BLIND

Edited by 10years on :-(

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So no one has shared a story for a while! Reading all of these comments has finally given me the courage I need to share my acne issues with my boyfriend! Weve been together for almost 2 years and at the beginning of our relationship my acne was very mild to non existent but over the last year it's been pretty moderate. I've got it kind of under control and it's back to bein mild again but whenever were together I don't really look him in the eye unless the lighting is dim! I'm so insecure and he notices but he doesn't think it's the acne ( he doesn't kno I have it) I guess he just thinks im shy! But I know that if I let it out in the open it might make me feel better and less tense around him?? Should I tell him my skin insecurities or just leave it out? We're planning on marrying soon but how can I do that if I don't even share one of the biggest issues of my life with him!! Bear in mind he does NOT know I have acne so I don't know how to bring the subject up!

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Every partner I have had, I have had Acne let it affect the relationship, in some way or another....

my word of advice, let your partner support you but please dont let your acne take over the relationship....

Your partner is with you because he or she loves you, regardless of wether you have spots on your face or not....if the spots bothered them, then they wouldnt be with you.

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