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kopp00

Scared to let boyfriend touch my face

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I've learnt to not touch my face, and it took me a while to get used to that, but I am now completely used to it, I always try to keep my hands away from my face (apart from when washing face and applying BP).

I've now got a new boyfriend who wants to touch my face romantically. I'm not ready to tell him about my acne situation but it bothers him that I won't let him touch my face. I will eventually tell him about how acne affects me when I'm ready, but for the time being, how do I deal with this?

I worked so hard to stop touching my face, I can't imagine ever letting someone else touch my face. I just keep thinking they'll make my acne worse, and I don't know where their hands have been. Even when friends or family touch my face, sometimes they'll squeeze my cheeks or something, I worry even more about my acne and get so worked up about it in my head.

I don't think I will ever be comfortable with people touching my face, as I've grown to believe that touching your face can make acne worse. I remember telling my sister about how I don't like people touching my face because of my acne, she thought I was mad! I'm worried about having to tell my boyfriend this, it's not easy to share my acne stories with people I know.

I know this is a little thing but I fear that it will make my relationship worse and it can get quite awkward when my boyfriend kisses me hard, I feel like he is irritating some areas of my face. I just hate having to be extra careful with everyday normal things, it gets so tiring.

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I am the same... At night I spend SO long doing my facial regimen, I'll come to bed with a slightly moist face with the BP etc and he'll try to kiss me and I just want to shout at him to keep away from his face. While he'll kissing me I'm thinking "did he wash his face properly? will his beard get my face dirty? Is his beard wiping away all the epiduo?"

It is very frustrating that skin can effect our romantic lives hey?

But let me tell you that if he likes you enough to want to touch you and be close to you then he will understand and support you in not touching your face. Doesn't have to be a big deal, plenty of other places he can touch you... WINK :)

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will his beard get my face dirty? Is his beard wiping away all the epiduo?"

The beard thing bothers me too! While I think he looks attractive with a beard, I hate it when it rubs against my chin when he kisses me.

But let me tell you that if he likes you enough to want to touch you and be close to you then he will understand and support you in not touching your face. Doesn't have to be a big deal, plenty of other places he can touch you... WINK :)

Haha, very true! I do think he will understand, I just feel sad that he wants to be all romantic and touch my face but I won't let him. :(

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Haha, hes gonna laugh when you tell him. :D

But until you tell him, he is gonna feel coldness from you. You really need to tell him quickly, because to him, you not allowing him to express his love the way he wants to, is not a good sign. But as soon as you tell him, he will be reassured, and will know that you still love him but you are just acne-concious.

I know its a really hard thing to tell them not to do, honestly i try to not let it bother me. I try not be so superficial about my skin, like if i washed my face or if he washed it (honestly at moments like that, i dont even know what acne is ;) )

But if you dont want him to do that, then there is no harm in telling him.

Good luck :)

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Wow, I go through the EXACT same thing with my boyfriend. I do tell him not to, and when we kiss he makes sure not to hold my face. Well he might brush against it for a split second, but whatever. The thing that annoys me is when we'll be cuddling or whatever, and he starts stroking my cheek or something. :| All I can think is, "OMG, I'm going to get like, 5 zits there, stopstopstopstop" and then I remind him not to do that, or I gently push his hand away and just give him that look. Lol he teases me sometimes and calls me a germaphobe, but what can I say? I'm paranoid with my skin. xD He'll thank me when my skin is finally clear, haha. And it's hard when I tell him not to touch my face, because I touch his face a lot myself. The difference is, he basically has perfect skin! *so jealous*

But anyway, I agree with what the other posters said. It's really not that big of a deal, and if he really is into you, I don't think it'll matter. :D It's just a part of you that he'll have to accept.

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Haha I'm so glad I'm not alone in this!

RE the beard, I asked him once if he washed his beard and he laughed at me and said that it's not like the hair on your head... Gross, all I can imagine is a beard full of food and bugs like Roald Dahl's Mr Twit.

I had a bit of a break down a few weeks ago about my skin and opened up to Rob for the first time.. Then I asked him something I've been dying to know for a year "do you think my skin is bad". Poor guy, what do you say to that?! He said "sometimes it's quite bad but other times it's better. It's not as bad as Kitty's (his sisters), besides I still fancy you"

He was totally honest. And in my head I was thinking "you bastard, you should tell me that my skin is flawless". haha

He can't win.

I am inspired to start a thread about partner's and their reaction to acne.

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@DesiAngel You're right, I don't want him to think I don't want him every time I brush his hand away from my face! He thinks it's so odd I don't like people touching my face, and he most likely will laugh when I tell him the reason why, it's not something you hear every day, lol.

@KissDontTell Haha, yeah, I give the area he's touched extra attention at night when I'm doing the regimen, this isn't healthy! We have a deal, he's not allowed to touch my face and I'm not allowed to play with his hair, fair's fair!

@abigailwheeler Aw, very honest, but you know that the acne doesn't put him off, I'm always worried about being with someone, but then I think, they've seen your face/acne before, still fancied you and asked you out. Also, that thread is a great idea! :D

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* This is an edit. Mrs. Grape doesn't live here anymore.

Cya, the Org.

Edited by i am ashley.

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* This is an edit. Mrs. Grape doesn't live here anymore.

Cya, the Org.

Edited by i am ashley.

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I used to get paranoid when I would kiss the men on my family on the cheek, you know, the quick kiss on the cheek that you exchange when you see relatives. Their faces are a little oily.. whose face isn't? I was freaking out internally because I didn't want their oil causing breakouts on my face. I went to the bathroom and rinsed the oil off right away. Now when I kiss my relatives, I don't wipe the oil off my cheek. And guess what? No new breakouts! :) It just goes to show you that we really are our worst critics and that the extra stress and paranoia are more likely to break you out than a little oil.

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I think you are missing out on something incredibly intimate and special! I know it can be difficult, I used to feel the same as you, but I advise you either talk to him about it and explain the situation, or just try your hardest to trust him, know he cares about you, and live in the moment. Otherwise, he might be wondering what he is doing wrong.

Enjoy one another in a PG way. =)

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just let him touch your face...at least he wants to do it!....some guys are just plain jerks who would not like to touch someone´s face when they have acne...even if their girlfriends have acne...so you are lucky that he wants to touch you. let him do it...and then...you can talk about it with him. there´s no reason for him to feel disgust it about it...if he is with you...is because he loves you no matter what.

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* This is an edit. Mrs. Grape doesn't live here anymore.

Cya, the Org.

Edited by i am ashley.

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Okay, so I've been trying to learn to touch my own face again to see if it makes a difference, and I can't really tell. I haven't touched my face a lot but I'm going to completely stop picking my spots. I think I am starting to feel less paranoid about touching my own face.

I have noticed that after being with my boyfriend where he kissed me and his beard rubbed against my chin, I developed a massive cyst on the chin. I don't know if this is a coincidence, but my face does usually feel and look worse after being with the boyfriend, like it's been irritated.

I've still not told him about the way I feel but I plan to talk to him about my acne soon because I don't want to push him away. I am lucky to have a lovely boyfriend but it puts more pressure on me to try to make my skin look good! I wear make up, it usually wears off after some intimate time with him, so all my scars are revealed, he hasn't mentioned anything about them, but I still feel like he's secretly thinking "ew".

I wish I could control the way I think, I have silly thoughts!

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* This is an edit. Mrs. Grape doesn't live here anymore.

Cya, the Org.

Edited by i am ashley.

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I don't let my husband touch my face either, eventually he got used to it. Don't allow someone to do anything to you that makes you feel uncomfortable...

My husband has learned to hold the back of my neck now for romantic kissy time!

I disagree that touching your face and letting your boyfriend willy nilly touch yours is okay.

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* This is an edit. Mrs. Grape doesn't live here anymore.

Cya, the Org.

Edited by i am ashley.

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I'm still not letting him touch my face right now, he only touched my face on one occasion and that was because I was crying so I didn't care about my acne at that moment! When I think back, I don't remember seeing any new spots the next day, maybe I was lucky or maybe it doesn't do as much harm as I think. But I do remember when I was moving rooms, there was a lot of dust, and I had an itch on my face that I just had to scratch - I got a new pimple! I don't know if that was because of my hand or because of all the dust I was cleaning.

I hate having to be careful around him, I just want to ease up a little, and not mind if he just touches my face quickly or accidentally. When you're with your boyfriend, you really don't want to think about your face 90% of the time!

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I can surely relate! I'm so scared when my bf touches my face! I know he doesn't wash his hands as often as I do which is like once every hour or so depending on what I'm doing. Not exactly for acne, I am sort of germaphobic lol

But he likes to touch my face when we kiss and strokes my cheek when we lay together. I got used to it, but I've noticed that I have small pimples in the areas that he strokes, but I tend to break out there from time to time, so go figure. I rather have the intimacy. In the long run, I hope that holistic aid will stop acne mostly all together.

If I am feeling more self conscious that day I move his hand somewhere else or I turn right away and kiss him or something. What might work for some people is to distract the bf with a kiss on his face or hand. Sometimes I grab the "offending" hand and kiss it and then hold it while we lay down. He doesn't seem to notice I stopped his action haha

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I'm that way too.....I'm married and my husband knows that I have acne prone sensative skin. For me the hardest part is when my husband has stubble and tries to kiss me and his skin brushes up against my face....it just irritates the heck out of it!!!!!. All I have to do is say "ouchie" and he knows to stop. Like others said, there are other places he can kiss!!!!

I guess it all depends on the mood. I've had times where I didn't care becasue the passion was so intense!!! LOL :wub:

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