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rivercat

A tunnel that ends with light for us?

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This sucks. I love and I hate this website. I get why we're all here. Especially in this section of the forums. It's so hard to express myself here these days. I have so much to say, but I just don't know how to say it. I can't battle anymore. It feel hopeless. Constant trial and error. It's tiring. It's depressing. It's exhausted, really. Does it end? Will I ever get my skin to the way I'd like it. I don't even suffer from bad acne anymore, yet I just can't take it. I hate looking at my skin in the mirror. My girlfriend says my skin looks like "leather". I want smooth, soft, clear, handsome, young skin, like I had. Why can't I just achieve it? Why does everything have to cost SO MUCH money? Why can't there be some sort of fund helping us by giving money to us people who have to go on GODDAMN ACNE FORUMS to vent and get info on how to HOPEFULLY fix or cure something that has been haunting us every day of our lives...practially eaten my mind alive. When my mind isn't occupied by something important, I probably think about my skin every 10-20 seconds of the day, sadly. I wish I could have grown up and kept the skin I had, and aged with it. I'd feel so handsome. I'd feel so confident. I'd be rich...why? Because I'd have the drive to be rich. What would I do with that money? I'd give it to the unfortunate people who need it. Because that's the kind of person I am. I want to be that kind of person, but it's hard, when I don't want a job outside with people seeing me and my skin. So I make the little money that I make...and what do I spend a lot of it on? Vitamins...juices...drinks...fruit...veggies...face wash that costs me like 30 dollars, yes acne.org. Why can't it just be in stores like in the super market down the block form me? Seriously, what the hell? I just can't do it anymore. It's never ending. I want to give up, but I can't. I obsess, just like 98% of the people here. Is there any light? -_-

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I know what your saying and I agree, although asking for money for acne sufferers is a bit far lol It's not doing any harm what so ever to your health, just be glad you dont have a life threatening disease eh

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Nah, I know haha. But man...when you think about it. The amount money people have these days is just incredible. Celebs...athlethes, MARK ZUCKERBERG (haha sorry i'm a web developer) I mean c'mon. If I had 1/1,000,000 of Zuckerbergs money I'd cry myself to sleep with joy right now. But I don't. I can hardly keep 500 dollars in my bank account, because of the money I spend on my skin, my girlfriend and my bills. It sucks man. I don't know what to do. 5,000 dollars would make me so goddamn comfortable right now, it's not even funny.

And I know I don't have a life threatening disease. What about a mind-threatening disease. Because acne sure is one.

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I don't think so.

Regarding money, you've got to have some family member(s) who can help you with that. Even if it's a family member you never talk to, if you're seriously depressed because of this ridiculous skin curse, I bet they would be glad to help.

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You are basically saying "You can't be rich because you have acne". I used to have this belief. I also used to have the belief "I can't be liked with acne". I said a lot of stupid sh*t to myself, most is probably not true at all. I know it's possible to be liked etc with acne because there's a lot of people out there who I geniunley like who have acne. There's also plenty of girls I would have sex with who have acne. Soooo yeah. I don't know many rich people but I'm sure there are some out there who have acne problems too. I think we make up elaborate stories in are head sometimes, everyone does it myself included. So basically, I'd say to do what you can, I mean there is no cure, you are doing what you can. Don't let it become your life, because if you invest all your time worrying about this one thing, than your not going to have time to do other things you want to do. And if you do find a cure you might be an old man by then and be pissed you spent all your time wasting your life away worrying about it.

Edited by fakename913323

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Nah, I know haha. But man...when you think about it. The amount money people have these days is just incredible. Celebs...athlethes, MARK ZUCKERBERG (haha sorry i'm a web developer) I mean c'mon. If I had 1/1,000,000 of Zuckerbergs money I'd cry myself to sleep with joy right now. But I don't. I can hardly keep 500 dollars in my bank account, because of the money I spend on my skin, my girlfriend and my bills. It sucks man. I don't know what to do. 5,000 dollars would make me so goddamn comfortable right now, it's not even funny.

And I know I don't have a life threatening disease. What about a mind-threatening disease. Because acne sure is one.

Yeah I get you bro. I always feel really guilty when I ask my Dad to buy me some skin care stuff thats like £20-30... haha

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There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Some people have to walk through tunnels that are longer than other people's, but you will reach the end eventually. Please don't give up. There is a cure for you out there somewhere, you just need to find it.

I agree that this particular section of the forums can get really depressing. We should have a section for success stories. I'm very grateful that I have been able to beat acne (mostly thanks to information from these forums), and I've considered posting before and after photos to try and give people hope that things can get better. But somehow I still don't think that would make people feel better (it could be considered 'showing off' I guess). I wish I knew how to make it better because I know how damaging the emotional effects are acne can be. All I can say is - just keep walking the tunnel, you will reach the end eventually (haha, it's corny but true).

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There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Some people have to walk through tunnels that are longer than other people's, but you will reach the end eventually. Please don't give up. There is a cure for you out there somewhere, you just need to find it.

I agree that this particular section of the forums can get really depressing. We should have a section for success stories. I'm very grateful that I have been able to beat acne (mostly thanks to information from these forums), and I've considered posting before and after photos to try and give people hope that things can get better. But somehow I still don't think that would make people feel better (it could be considered 'showing off' I guess). I wish I knew how to make it better because I know how damaging the emotional effects are acne can be. All I can say is - just keep walking the tunnel, you will reach the end eventually (haha, it's corny but true).

Magdish youre right. I love the info and feeling of belonging on this site but sometimes I get so sad when people are not doing well some of the stories made me cry because its so obvious these people are in pain...its not as simple for everyone for me, I had to make a few changes but sometimes other people seem to almost give up

Still I agree there are a lot of success stories on here or at least people who like you and I are doing a lot better.

"Why us"?

I dont know, but I am trying to see the cloud thru the silver lining.

Im another one who wished I had 'before and after" pics... but like many of us, I never took pics of myself when my skin looked awful ! I would hide from the camera....so by the time I joined acne.org i had been making changes for about 8 month so my skin looks a lot better than when I started. I like your tunnel analogy btw :-D

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Hey guys. I really appreciate the replies. I just get so down some nights when I sit alone on the computer in silence. My brother goes to bed before me usually, so I'm stuck here with anxious thoughts and feelings. Tonight just sucks, alot. Me and my girlfriend have been fighting alot about nonsense, spent the whole day with her, yet the end of the night ended so shitty. I don't want to get into that, but what really sucks is that I don't even have a phone to talk to her, since I left it out in the rain today, ugh. Wanna know why I left it in the rain (accidently of course) because she's the only person I really stay in touch with throughout the day, through bbm...and she was at my house. I'm so damn occupied when I'm with her, and I love it, and I love her too...it makes me forget about work I need to do and other things I need to get done and take care of. I took off from work (my job is very lenient) just to hang out with her, meanwhile it really wasn't worth it. So at this point, it really sucks that me and her can't even talk things out. Two days ago I ran out of the anxiety pills I take (all natural stuff) so that sucks right now cause I feel like I won't sleep well. Can't even pick new ones up, because I'm friggin' broke, which I've already complained about in my first post lol >_<

Anyway, I really appreciate you guy's helping me out and trying to help motivate me to worry less about my skin. And all this before and after stuff...ugh. I feel my anxiety building up as I go to type this...I was on the DKR over a year ago. It was amazing for my acne. It dissapeared. I SCREWED IT UP SO BAD by adding in some BULLSHITTY Clean and Clear Scrub thinking I'd be fine...like I already beat my acne. I broke out so bad that I had to come straight off of the Regimen because the BP wouldn't help anymore. After getting my skin back to normal, I still didn't go back to the DKR and decided to just wash regularly with the Acne.org cleanser. I got my skin to improve alot, and have kept it clear for a long while now with occasional pimples. But what's KILLING me are these clogged pores, oily skin and my ugly skin tone/texture. I just don't know what to do anymore. I realize that the way I take care of my body between vitamins, veggies, fruits, drinks, etc...I think I keep the ugly pimples away, but nothing...NOTHING helps keep away the dryish skin that later turns into oil hours later, and these damn clogged pores. The texture? The texture is so different than like anyone's I see. My girlfriend said it looks "leathery" She thinks it's from not using sunscreen or something but I just don't think that's it. It's thick, I know that much, and I think I have rosacea, yet VERY VERY mild, because I feel a warm flushing in my right cheek throughout the day but I just don't know how to get it looking normal again. It look's even worse when I shave, so I try not to. And not shaving means my EXCESSIVE facial hair will show and it makes everything look worse.

Ugh, I'll just stop now. I just wish someone can look at my skin and say "this is what you need to do" and fix this. I can't afford a derm, and I hardly trust my old one anymore. I feel like he doesn't listen or diagnose, just prescribe. And I get it...people come in to him EVERYDAY i'm sure and say "i have acne" and he just does the samething...I get it. But I'm much worse. I beat acne...now I need to restore my skin, but how? Someone...please help me. Please. If anyone can just throw me some tips. I'd like to list the ways I [try to] take care of my skin:

Multivitamin everyday

Fish oil everyday

L-Lysine with Zinc+VitC 3 times a day

Biotin (Skin Hair Nails supp)

Wash twice everyday with a gentle cleanser

Moisturizer on dry patches after shower

AHA+ sometimes at night on full face, sometimes spot treat

Jojoba Oil sometimes at night

Drink V8 Veggie Juice all the time

Tons of veggies like cucumber, tomatoes, carrots

Fruits throughout the day

Water throughout the day

Rarely shave, though I use Jojoba Oil as preshave, twin blade razor and hydrating shave cream

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