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DukeBlueDevils

So I'm really down in the dumps right now

These are just my current thoughts. Read if you wish. So, right now, I'm feeling like absolute shit because I just looked in the mirror (which I only do when I'm shaving; once every 2 weeks) and my face (and chest, back, upper arms, shoulders, and neck) looked like absolute shit. I started to break down and cry but I stopped myself surprisingly. It seems I get a new fucking pimple every day and the unbelieveable part about it is, for the past 2 weeks, I've changed my diet and stopped eating burgers, fries, etc. and stopped drinking (and eating) sugary things. Evidentally, that has helped none. And I think stress has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with acne because for the past 2 weeks, I didn't stress and I still got pimples. There you go. I'm starting to think diet has nothing to do with it either. Another thing I don't get is when I look in the mirror at my house, my face looks good (as does the rest of my body). But, I'm at my Aunt's house right now, and when I look in her mirror, my face looks SO red and terrible. My Aunt has those strobe lights that shine RIGHT down on your face and it makes my face look so bad. I can see my scars on my cheeks so clearly with her mirror and it just makes everything look pathetic. I know for an ABSOLUTE fact that my face and the rest of my body can NOT look this bad. I think it's just the mirror and what it looks like at my house is what it REALLY looks like. The mirrors in her house just make everything look way worse than it actually is. I'm 18, male, and I've been dealing with acne since I was 16 years old. I'm completely sick of acne and I've seriously contemplated suicide over this BS that the majority of people don't have to cope with (when I go out in public, everybody has such clear, perfect skin, from the kids to the teens to the adults, everybody's skin is so clear and it makes me so sick they don't have to deal with the agony I deal with every day). I'm currently thinking about what the easiest way to kill myself would be. I just cannot deal with this anymore. I guess the best thing I can do is just expect the worse (my acne is never going to end) and hope for the best (that it does). But more than likely, it will not ever clear because God just seems to hate me and I don't know why. I just want to know where I went wrong and why in the fuck this is happening to me. Thanks if you read this far. I'm done now. I'm going to go be depressed more over something that most people don't have to deal with. *sigh* FML.

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I'm sorry you feel so bad right now, just be happy you had clear skin until you were 16 (I had moderate acne at 12) . I don't think you've been eating healthy long e3nough for you to notice a difference, I think it takes at least a month to see results by healthy eating.

You don't look terrible, I promise. I personally find acne on guys hot ;) , and the hottest guy I know has acne on his arms, back, chest, and face. So... yeah.

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awwwwwwwwww

listen i know exaccttllyy what you mean hun

everything is going to get better!

have u thought of accutane since nothing seems to be working?

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I'm so sorry you feel so shitty! I wish I could take that feeling away from you somehow. The truth is, I've been feeling like this too lately; it's absolutely horrible. I just want it to go away and be done already! I've found that it's best to stay busy and keep my mind off of it. But hooomygod, I totally get that mirror thing! Lighting can be such a bitch sometimes! Don't worry, you're totally correct that you don't look that bad. Everybody looks like shit in lights like that. You'll also look about 100x worse in any lighting if you've been treating yourself lately. Anyways, don't give up hope--it's way too early for that! There are treatments available even if your diet doesn't work out (and I've heard estimates of up to 6 months for stuff like that to work). You gotta stay positive right now. Sometimes you just got to let the acne run it's course before it gets better. Sucks, I know, but even Accutane forces people to endure this. And anyways, there IS always Accutane; it may not be a cure for all, but from what I've read, there are plenty of people who take multiple courses of it throughout their lives to keep their acne under control (and for them, it's a solution). Just remember that your life WILL get better at some point--whether you do it holistically or whatever.

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I remember feeling like this, that id rather be dead than deal with this shit-what an awful way to think:(. I got past that bc i realised i wasnt going to let a thing like acne win, and take over my life, :naughty: ive tried practically everything and i was exhausted and fed up!! but i still keep trying, bc life is about the journey not the result, acne sucks but it has also taught me to be really patient, persistent, and, sensitive to others who have acne or any other condition. and when you cant find a silver lining just look in the mirror and say screw you acne im going out today and living my life-thats all we can really do for now :)

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Oh Kody. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I've had really dark thoughts too. I've also wondered if God is angry with me. I don't think He truly is angry at us, I don't think He hates us, but sometimes when things go wrong in my life, it starts to feel that way. I think you are right about the lights, no one looks good in lighting like that. I've heard that pimples can start to form a good 2-3 weeks before you see them, so any treatment will take usually at least 3 weeks to start seeing results, sometimes several months. This diet may help, if it doesn't totally clear you, then you can add in some other treatments.

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Just keep in mind that there are a number of household things you can use to clear that shit up that many people here will swear works. And think that the spots you have today will probably be gone in a couple days- even if new ones come up. That thought has kinda helped me sometimes.

And even if you can't clear your acne 100%, you can always go tanning. It'll disguise the redness and make you feel a lot more confident about your body. You might even forget you have it.

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I've been there before. I wanted to kill myself, part of me was really scared to do it. I started thinking, well, if I really want to do this how would I. I thought about drowning myself in the bathtub but I couldn't figure out how to do that because if I put like a weight or something ontop of myself I would just escape it. Also I thought maybe if I can get my hair stuck in the drain. Then I was like nah, I'd probably just rip my head out of there and I don't feel like dealing with a bald spot etc. I was scared of cutting because I didn't want to leave myself with scars if it didn't work. Basically, I couldn't think of any peaceful ways to do it. I could always just like jump off the free way, but then I'd f*ck up other people etc. Actually now that I think about it I could of started swimming out into the lake until I couldn't swim anymore. I'd probably just be so far out there a fatigued and push any little energy I had left to go further out there until I didn't have any energy anymore. I would have to die that way.

But anyway, don't kill yourself. This is actually what saved me. "You only got one life. If you die, that's it. There's no more. There's nothing, just blackness. You're asleep forever. That's going to happen eventually right? So, why not just deal with the pain and suffering and just go out with a bang. Do what you want. Live your dreams. " That basically put a new perspective on things for me and that's when I started to do a 180 and turned my life around. Also, I watched the movie "Cast Away". There was a quote in there that inspired me. He was stuck on an island by himself for 4 years etc. Tom Hank's quote was "I never thought I was going to get off that island. But you know.. you never know what the tide is going to bring in." Meaning despite despair, hopeless, suicide attempts, constant battle of the elements and complete lack of change. He did manage to get off the island. And he did it with a little bit of luck. You might not get off the island, but you never know what the tide might bring in.

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