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Back in the day before I had any skin troubles I had alot of friends and making/keeping friends was easy as hell and I took it for granted. Same thing with relationships and girls.....When my skin got really bad I basically hid away from the world until it got better......

Well the acne finally got better after many years but I was left with moderate/severe scarring covering both cheeks and temples....ever since then Ive found that making friends is much much harder....in fact lately Ive been feeling a little down because I have very few people I can call my friends at the moment, despite the fact Ive been living in this city for almost 4 years now. I think Ive been somewhat unlucky in terms of friendships, because most of the few friendships that I have made in these 4 years have gone to shit because the friend moved to another city (or another country in one case).

I find that I can make aquaintance's quite easy, since I do have a job, hobbies and somewhat of a life, but progessing to the stage where I can confidently call them friends just doesnt seem to happen like it used to. Back in the day, the progression to aquaintance to friend was natural to me and happened with most people I got along with (which was most people lol). Also the fact that back in those days I was still in school so friendships just sort of happen.

I dont know if its because of my personality (which has changed dramatically since the days before bad skin). I guess back then I was more fun to be around, I was very confident, loved to have a laugh, a fair bit louder aswell, probably a bit of a cocky fucker at times if Im honest. Nowadays, I guess Im a much more serious person, when im around people I feel comfortable around a part of the old me resurfaces but on the whole my personality has changed a lot. I guess if I had to describe it, it would be like I give out the impression like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I think I also give off a bit of a 'dont mess with me' sort of vibe as a defence mechanism which dont help.

Ive always thought that it was probably the change in my personality that has caused my social life to be so shit, the fact that I dont drink or do any drugs anymore also means making new friends is alot harder, as alot of people seem to bond over alcohol and drugs.

But lately Ive started thinking it could be my scarring thats making it hard for me to make friends, and the fact that my skin is scarred just puts people off actually becoming friends with me rather than just an aquaintance.

Its hard to say which is the case really but in reality its probably a bit of both. I hope to god that its mostly the fact that my personality has changed that has made it hard for me to make friends because then it means I actually have a chance of having a normal human social life again.

The problem is that because Ive found it so hard to make friends these past few years, Recently (and I dont know why only recently) Ive started to think there is something fucking wrong with me that repels people away and so in some ways I kind of play into that role by just not even bothering as much anymore. Ive become a bit of a loner to be honest and in some ways I like it, but at the same time Id like to be part of a group of close friends I can hang out with and feel comfortable with. The thing is though, like others have said on here, everyone already seems to have their own close knit group of friends and its pretty hard to become part of that social group, especially if you are the weird outsider guy that this fucking skin problem has made most of us on here become.

Fuckin life ey?

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i cant rermember where, but i once posted that 'i dont wanna live in a world where Paul's wrong.' I also dont wanna live in one one where Paul thinks he's lame. Now, to a first-person conversation, Paul, you rock and/or roll depending on the situation, you're always ready with kind and intelligent advice for everyone, so give yourself a little credit, man.

As for the question, i went through something related, but luckily it wasnt a total loss of close friends, rather a flush of friends vs. wellwishers and posers. The crap i went through in the last decade was definitely tough on me, but i realize that it was also tough on those around me, people that love me and care about me. The circle of four friends plus me that i have now, ive had for a decade, and in that time i ended a lot of friendships directly and indirectly, so now im sure the buds i have are true, and hopefully for life.

If you're looking to meet people you can hang out with, try joining a class, i met lots of fun people in many different places; my best buds are from high school, but i made friends at my language classes, music school where i took piano, tae kwon do, especially at the movie theatre where i worked cuz there were over 100 of us, and at my current job. All of those people are great and i try to make time to see as many as i can, especially since i wasted so much time in my teens. i got no doubt that someone as cool as you will make a ton of friends in a very short time.

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eusa_doh.gif I was browsing and saw this topic, didn't recognise it at first. Read the latest replies and was going to add something, then I realised that I was the one who started it in the first place! lol.gif

Back in the day before I had any skin troubles I had alot of friends and making/keeping friends was easy as hell and I took it for granted. Same thing with relationships The problem is that because Ive found it so hard to make friends these past few years, Recently (and I dont know why only recently) Ive started to think there is something fucking wrong with me that repels people away and so in some ways I kind of play into that role by just not even bothering as much anymore. Ive become a bit of a loner to be honest and in some ways I like it, but at the same time Id like to be part of a group of close friends I can hang out with and feel comfortable with. The thing is though, like others have said on here, everyone already seems to have their own close knit group of friends and its pretty hard to become part of that social group, especially if you are the weird outsider guy that this fucking skin problem has made most of us on here become.

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I think a lot of this comes down to wondering about how we are perceived. I guess it's natural to wonder, 'What do people think of me and what do they see when they look at me?'

If our acne or scarring, or whatever we don't like, takes a lot of our focus as being something we don't like about ourselves, perhaps we jump to the conclusion that people won't like it either or that they will focus on it as well. Rather than risk putting ourselves through that and risk being laughed at or whatever, we avoid the situations altogether until we kind of fall off the radar and lose our way. That's certainly how it's gone for me anyway.

I guess that's why I often get preoccupied with how I'm perceived now; perhaps a paranoia about whether or not I'm giving off a vibe which makes me seem like an easy target these days. Not fair at all on people who might be genuinely interested in getting to know me, if I view them with suspicion initially until I've figured out whether or not I need to protect myself. It's a sociological thing, and indeed it seems logical that I would want to understand that in order to paint myself in the best light and make the most of social situations I manage to put myself in.

This shit got me paul.

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