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Hero353

Is it Possible to Get Over The Emotional Trauma of Acne?

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My adulthood has been shaped by acne. The person i was before and after it is completely different.

I had horrible cystic acne. I broke out every two weeks with at least two cysts on my face (more on back).

I could write a book about what I went through (so ill spare details), but Im currently concerned about how I feel now. I equate what i went through as worse than rape. At least its socially concluded that people are consoled or understood if they have gone through something so tramatic.

If you bring acne up and how it affected you, youre labeled sensitive and could even be laughed at. One of my sisters calls me a sensitive person; i know my family doesnt understand nor could they do anything for me. Im sure they have no clue of the brevity of what acne has done to me.

I dont think ill ever get over it. The closest feeling is death. I honestly feel dead inside. (no im not suicidal), but thats how i feel. My personality is normally of "im better than you" because its a barrier. Im very fortunate as far as scaring. I have i tiny bit of it, but its not bad. Matter of fact, I consider myself more attractive than most men. I still have that feeling that i cant talk to people because of a "why would they be interested in me. I might scare them/gross them out." feeling. I NEVER talked to girls throughout my acne and i still have that feeling of "why would they be interested in me. I might scare them/gross them out" even though i think im attractive. I just cant shake this. I went through a period of 22 days of staying in my room when acne was the worst. I was suicidal and I felt as if i was in a state of crazy. It was during that time when i litterally felt a clicking feeling in my head as if i physiologically messed up my mind that makes me feel the way i do now. I quite literally feel dead.

I put the "im better than you" sort of barrier up to everyone, but once people have a general conversation with me once they show an interest in getting to know me, i feel worthless and im pretty sure it shows.

I dont think ill ever shake this feeling. I think its really is just a matter of me coping with it and getting through life and feeling grateful im alive. Theres really no other affliction that i can think of where the sufferer is continually laughed at in movies and our culture because of an effect of something i could not control.

Edited by Hero353
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maybe you need a girlfriend, who understands. Most people I talk to about my skin, never laugh at me. Man, that would be so lame, I'd end up laughing at them for being retards, I am open with my skin, I want to know everything to try and fix the problem. Yea acne sucks, I had it horrible three, four years ago, it was a mess, I got it under control, then it came back, just not as severely. I am still dealing with it, its difficult, but don't feel dead. Because you are very much alive, and the world needs you, so does the people who love you. Let your guard down, be who you are, and if people judge you, like most do, fuck them. I need to give you my pocket full of sunshine.

In all honesty, don't let acne ruin your life, I haven't. I just surround myself with positive peeps, and laugh a lot, and eat healthy. How is your diet? What medications have you been on, I am assuming everything. Well if you have no tried it all, I'd do that all first, ever done the a-c-c-u-t-a-n-e? You are not a lost cause, you will find something that works, you just need to search, and not be sad and down.

Edited by Melie87
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People dont laugh as in insult laugh.

They laugh as a way to tell me that what i went through or how i feel is no big deal. They think it helps, but it doesnt and its one of the reasons why i cant really get over it and feel isolated. Like i mentioned at least rape victims are treated with care and consolation as they should as opposed to a "get over it" attitude, which is true to an extent. We all have to get over things to go on. For example, when i went to the doctor when it was the worst, the physician assistant (to get acc) laughed at my acne concerns (like it wasnt a big deal) and told me how she deals with wrinkles. My acne is virtually gone.

I think im going through a mood swing right now, but my thought patterns during this swing made me realize as to why my personality is the way it generally is. I behave totally confident superficially, but get to know or spend a little time with me and i feel like sht; my personality changes.

Edited by Hero353
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People dont laugh as in insult laugh.

They laugh as a way to tell me that what i went through or how i feel is no big deal. They think it helps, but it doesnt and its one of the reasons why i cant really get over it and feel isolated. Like i mentioned at least rape victims are treated with care and consolation as they should as opposed to a "get over it" attitude, which is true to an extent. We all have to get over things to go on. For example, when i went to the doctor when it was the worst, the physician assistant (to get acc) laughed at my acne concerns (like it wasnt a big deal) and told me how she deals with wrinkles. My acne is virtually gone.

I think im going through a mood swing right now, but my thought patterns during this swing made me realize as to why my personality is the way it generally is. I behave totally confident superficially, but get to know or spend a little time with me and i feel like sht; my personality changes.

I can relate all the way you feel................

Like you said , people laugh at me because they think that i make TINY things looks bigger.......

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well. Maybe you don't have it bad, and your making it a big ass deal. I'd be happy that they were laughing thinking I don't have a problem, what kind of doctor does that? He would benefit from saying you DO have a problem to get your monies.

What the fuck rape victims? Dude, you cannot compare zits on your face to a person who has been raped. Whoa. I think you need a reality check, post some pics, let me not laugh.

People dont laugh as in insult laugh.

They laugh as a way to tell me that what i went through or how i feel is no big deal. They think it helps, but it doesnt and its one of the reasons why i cant really get over it and feel isolated. Like i mentioned at least rape victims are treated with care and consolation as they should as opposed to a "get over it" attitude, which is true to an extent. We all have to get over things to go on. For example, when i went to the doctor when it was the worst, the physician assistant (to get acc) laughed at my acne concerns (like it wasnt a big deal) and told me how she deals with wrinkles. My acne is virtually gone.

I think im going through a mood swing right now, but my thought patterns during this swing made me realize as to why my personality is the way it generally is. I behave totally confident superficially, but get to know or spend a little time with me and i feel like sht; my personality changes.

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well. Maybe you don't have it bad, and your making it a big ass deal. I'd be happy that they were laughing thinking I don't have a problem, what kind of doctor does that? He would benefit from saying you DO have a problem to get your monies.

What the fuck rape victims? Dude, you cannot compare zits on your face to a person who has been raped. Whoa. I think you need a reality check, post some pics, let me not laugh.

Did you read everything I wrote?

Edited by Hero353
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The comparison is way off the mark and I think we should leave that one alone.

If you want to get over it, do it. Learn how. Seek professional help if needs be, maybe speak to a counsellor. It might sound trivial to some but it is traumatic and it may well be the case that you're essentially grieving for the time you've lost. You can't get that time back but you can figure things out and work on making the most of the life ahead of you.

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Guest pokemonster

id understand everything until that huge wtf, i mean cmon now, u dont compare acne to that, besides wtf its waayz worse than acne :huh: that could possibly happen to one, so wth

also what paul said

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I understand how you feel. My acne has practically controlled my life ever since I was about 13 when people started picking on me for it. I'm 28 now and I still deal with it every day. Even when it's 'under control', I'm wondering when it will flare up next and whether I will have to cancel certain plans I've made because I feel like some repulsive freak and don't want to be seen by anyone. I've been to therapy and brought it up and my therapist looks at me like I have 3 heads. The bottom line is that nobody understands it unless they've been through it themselves and it affected them the same way it's affected you. Otherwise, they don't get it and you'll only feel worse talking to them about it. At least that's how it is with me. Some people have terrible acne and they get through it fine without any emotional scars. Other people have terrible acne and come out of it terribly traumatized. I know it's a very lonely place when you feel like nobody gets it and people look at you like you're superficial or something for being so upset about your skin. I think you'll feel better if you let someone in close enough to accept you the way you are, acne and all. I think you'll be able to accept it more if you feel like someone else accepts you. Then I think those emotional scars will start to heal also. But again, I'm only talking theoretically because I am unable to do that myself...due to my own aforementioned acne issues. But you might be tougher than I am.

Anyway, when you're having a really bad day, try to distract yourself so you don't think about it so much. It tends to help if you're not obsessing over it.

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I understand how you feel. My acne has practically controlled my life ever since I was about 13 when people started picking on me for it. I'm 28 now and I still deal with it every day. Even when it's 'under control', I'm wondering when it will flare up next and whether I will have to cancel certain plans I've made because I feel like some repulsive freak and don't want to be seen by anyone. I've been to therapy and brought it up and my therapist looks at me like I have 3 heads. The bottom line is that nobody understands it unless they've been through it themselves and it affected them the same way it's affected you. Otherwise, they don't get it and you'll only feel worse talking to them about it. At least that's how it is with me. Some people have terrible acne and they get through it fine without any emotional scars. Other people have terrible acne and come out of it terribly traumatized. I know it's a very lonely place when you feel like nobody gets it and people look at you like you're superficial or something for being so upset about your skin. I think you'll feel better if you let someone in close enough to accept you the way you are, acne and all. I think you'll be able to accept it more if you feel like someone else accepts you. Then I think those emotional scars will start to heal also. But again, I'm only talking theoretically because I am unable to do that myself...due to my own aforementioned acne issues. But you might be tougher than I am.

Anyway, when you're having a really bad day, try to distract yourself so you don't think about it so much. It tends to help if you're not obsessing over it.

Thanks. I noticed theres a couple people who agree with me with one post, which says a lot.

Im having a horrible day, mainly due to relationship problems via the emotional scars and physical scars. I feel extremely lonely.

I dont have horrible scaring, but I noticed my face doesnt look good when in certain light and Im ALWAYS self conscious about it even when my face is virtually cleared up, so apparently this will continue throughout my life. I had horrible acne from around the age of 14-21 and bad until 23ish. I consider those my dead years. I only started living at 23 throughout now for a total of around 8 years. It has been for these past 8 years that I have felt confident enough to go into public and have a reasonable expectation that people will not see me as a freak; that i could actually initiate conversations without receiving an disgusted reaction.

But, that "disgusted" reaction that I expect has never really gone away. Moreover, those dead years have left me emotionally dead. I feel incapable of showing and accepting love/happiness. But, I need love. I feel like those dead years reset my emotional state to that of a stone. I feel like a newborn that wants to run, but just cant in the sense that its extremely hard for me to create meaningful relationships. I feel like a stone. Im not suicidal and hopefully never will be, but it seems like Im always walking along that fine line. I dont know what to do other than to put on a facade while feeling like an empty vessel.

I feel like no decent girl will ever love me. My sisters treated me like crap during my dead years and my parents sided with them. They have matured and my mom has expressed regret, but that is my experience with female relationships. My dad wasnt really there. Every time i showed my face to them during my dead years, they stared at me. My own family. I told them repeatedly to stop staring at me like i was a circus freak and they continued to do so. My own freaking family. The very few female relationships i have had have been meaningless. I expect ever female im attracted to to hate me like my sisters did. Any female that has been close to me has betrayed/hated me, so i feel that every female i encounter sees me as the same. If they show a good attitude towards me, I think its fake and theyre being nice for selfish reasons.

The emotional scaring from what i went through seems to be just as hard as dealing with the acne itself.

Edited by Hero353
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While I agree that we vastly underestimate the depth of emotional scarring that acne can cause in this society... dude, rape comparison = not cool. Yes, "at least" some rape victims are met with more sympathy than acne victims (others simply never tell anybody about being raped because of the shame, and still others tell and get socially rebuffed because somehow their rape doesn't "count"), but (among other things) social reaction to a trauma does not equal level of trauma itself.

Soapbox ranting aside, I can definitely sympathize with you. I feel like a completely different person from back when I was clear-skinned, and one of the worst things is how everybody has reacted to the depression I've fallen into by telling me that I'm too weak, too emotional, too vulnerable and et cetera. I've lost track of the number of times my very frustrated mother has yelled at me for crying so much for having acne because she doesn't believe that it's an appropriate thing to cry that much over. And you know what? It really does hurt. It really does hurt because part of you is really scared that there's perhaps some truth in what they're saying and you really are just weak and selfish and stupid or whatever, but one of the things I really like about this message board is that it has actually helped me realize that other people - perfectly sane and otherwise normal people - are going through the same thing that I am.

I feel like no decent girl will ever love me.
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Actually I have been raped and I feel that acne scars are far more worse.

I'm so sorry! If you ever want to talk, message me.

To the original poster: I totally understand how traumatic acne can be. It can leave emotional scars behind that need healing even after it clears. You're worth whatever it takes to heal those inner scars. Counseling or hypnotherapy could be helpful. I sat down and had a counseling session with a pastor for free. He was very kind. There are churches and charities who have counseling services for low or no cost if needed.

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My adulthood has been shaped by acne. The person i was before and after it is completely different.

I had horrible cystic acne. I broke out every two weeks with at least two cysts on my face (more on back).

I could write a book about what I went through (so ill spare details), but Im currently concerned about how I feel now. I equate what i went through as worse than rape. At least its socially concluded that people are consoled or understood if they have gone through something so tramatic.

If you bring acne up and how it affected you, youre labeled sensitive and could even be laughed at. One of my sisters calls me a sensitive person; i know my family doesnt understand nor could they do anything for me. Im sure they have no clue of the brevity of what acne has done to me.

I dont think ill ever get over it. The closest feeling is death. I honestly feel dead inside. (no im not suicidal), but thats how i feel. My personality is normally of "im better than you" because its a barrier. Im very fortunate as far as scaring. I have i tiny bit of it, but its not bad. Matter of fact, I consider myself more attractive than most men. I still have that feeling that i cant talk to people because of a "why would they be interested in me. I might scare them/gross them out." feeling. I NEVER talked to girls throughout my acne and i still have that feeling of "why would they be interested in me. I might scare them/gross them out" even though i think im attractive. I just cant shake this. I went through a period of 22 days of staying in my room when acne was the worst. I was suicidal and I felt as if i was in a state of crazy. It was during that time when i litterally felt a clicking feeling in my head as if i physiologically messed up my mind that makes me feel the way i do now. I quite literally feel dead.

I put the "im better than you" sort of barrier up to everyone, but once people have a general conversation with me once they show an interest in getting to know me, i feel worthless and im pretty sure it shows.

I dont think ill ever shake this feeling. I think its really is just a matter of me coping with it and getting through life and feeling grateful im alive. Theres really no other affliction that i can think of where the sufferer is continually laughed at in movies and our culture because of an effect of something i could not control.

Maybe you should write a book.

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