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X3Kell3X

This is going to sound really lame...

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So, ive been on these boards for a while. But i haven't been on recently because of an extensive amount of family stress and emotional crap. Anyway, im 18 years old and im about to go to college next year. i would say i am basically prepared. im ready for the course work because i have already taken several college style courses in high school, im ready to leave my parents, and i have basically wrapped my head around the idea of public bathrooms, and my friends/guys seeing me without makeup. its a fresh start and no one will know me, and as long as i start off by letting people see me without makeup i think i will be okay. and thats what i am going to do at orientation in a month. Ill wear makeup there but ill be sure to take it off at night and not be ashamed for doing so. However, i am still pretty self concious about one thing, and it was caused by acne and its kind of embarassing considering im 18, almost 19 years old.... ive really only kissed guys when ive been drunk and theres 2 reasons for that, when i drink for some reason i have more of a drive to hook up with guys and also alcohol for me is like liquid confidence, so when im drinking all the worries about my face just disappear. ive done this like 3 times. and each time i was very embarassed afterwards. one of the 3 times i barelly remember. i dont drink heavily anymore to the point where i black out so thats good... but now im realizing that i want a boyfriend and i cant just get drunk every time i want to kiss him. and even though my skin is alot better due to accutane im still self concious about the whole thing and its not so much the skin but now its that, he wil think im a loser cuz im 18 well ill be 19 in college and i can't kiss or im mad awkward. ugh. its just really embarassing. and i needed to vent about my sad/lame ass deliemma. omg. :redface:

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Just go with the flow, kissing is waaay much more betterer when you're sober. Seriously. Save the drunk kissing for when you already have a bf and are comfortable with drooling all over each other :drool:;)

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I had similar issues when I started college. The public bathroom for the dorm was pretty far down the hall from my dorm. I was worried about the other girls and guys in the dorm seeing me without makeup too. When taking a shower in the morning, when I knew the halls would be flooded with students when I had to make the trek back to my dorm, I would take my makeup into the bathroom with me, take my shower, and then apply a bit of foundation before walking back to my dorm. Just enough to give me the confidence to make that walk back, where I would then apply the rest of my makeup. As far as the guy situation goes, the other poster was right... a good guy will not care! Even if you're having a breakout day, he'll kiss you while you're sober (and he's sober) because he likes you, not because you have perfect skin! I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry and enjoy college! I'll keep you in my thoughts! Good luck :)

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Oh honey, I didn't kiss until I was 19. My ex-husband said I was actually a pretty good kisser and both of us were sober. (Even though I had no clue what I was doing). It's ok to feel akward. You don't need to get drunk. He may very well be feeling akward and nervous too. He'll probably be too busy worrying about trying to impress you to care anyway.

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thanks for the replies! defiantly made me feel better

@hiddenspirit: your right and i know, i dont drink like that anymore, it was a phase i guess

@spectacled owl: ya i know i just have to go with it, i just feel so..weird ha

@courtney ann: it is nerve racking, the whole bathroom thing. i think im just going to suck it up and try not to care what people think and set up a nice area in my room to do my hair/put on makeup/skin stuff etc. and ya i defiantly want my next kiss to be when im sober/hes sober

@melissa: yay im not alone!! and you are probably right. i just gotta do it and i know ill feel better and the anxiety will go away

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You aren't lame, I think your concerns are pretty common actually. I agree that it is incredibly freeing not to wear makeup around people. I have lived in a dorm three out of four years of college and find it very awesome to just be myself.

Honestly, people won't care either way. And as for kissing, if it's with the right boy, it'll be amazing. ;)^_^

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@floating ophelia: ya i mean i still drink but i drink normally. like a couple beers one weekend night. and the way you feel the next morning is neverrrrrr ever ever worth it

@kairasa: im actually looking forward to just being me next year and having a fresh start and not caring if i dont have makeup on or my skins a bitch. i want to breakout of that shell

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