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My acne is moderate- I have blackheads on my nose (or maybe just big pores?), lots of white heads and red bumps. Sometimes I get those really deep, painful ones, but not very often. However my scars and hyperpigmentation make it look like I have twice as much acne as I do.

It's gotten to the point where I don't go anywhere or do anything.

I'm afraid of being seen in public, because I don't want people to stare at my acne or think I'm ugly.

I used to get past this by wearing makeup. Covering it up gave me confidence, but now just about every time I wear makeup I can feel more breakouts itching to come out. It just aggravates my acne more, and I can't bring myself to put it on. I do it for work and hate every minute of it- luckily I ordered some more of the only makeup that doesn't give me that feeling, but it hasn't come in yet.

The only person I feel comfortable around makeup-less is my husband. I'm starting to get comfortable around his friends too- (they tend to drop by unannounced, so it was bound to happen). I'm afraid of girls though, because all of my female friends either have very little or no acne. And they still wear lots of makeup. I'm afraid that around them, I'll look even worse by comparison.

It's just getting ridiculous... I want to go see people, and not be stuck inside, but I'm too scared. I've sobbed about it before. My husband says he doesn't understand, or notice it. He says I pay more attention to it than other people. But I can't help but to feel trapped in my own skin.

I feel like I would be pretty if it wasn't for my acne. I have good features, a good body, nice hair. But these roaring bumps on my face can go from 'okay' one day to 'vicious and uncontrollable' the next.

And the pain when you talk or move a part on your face where there's a bump is the worst. It throbs to let you know it's still there, even if you caked makeup on.

I've also had those whiteheads randomly POP and OOZE before, without me knowing. Around people. Very, very, very humiliating...

I feel really depressed sometimes. Like there's no reason to get out of bed.

But I'm determined to fight this. Even if I can't get rid of it, significant improvement would make me happy!

This is mostly a vent of things I'm to embarassed to talk about with other people :]

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Hi there!

 

I feel exactly the same was you do. Make-up is the only solution for me, and it's so sad because make-up only conceals (if even) and makes things worse. I absolutely HATE wearing make-up. I really really wish I could wake up and simply wash my face and head out. Or just walk right out of the shower.I am sure you understand the horror of foundation melting in the heat making you look like a mess. All I can think about is people, what people would think- because WHO on earth cakes their face in make-up to go to the beach?!? But then again... not wearing any in bright sun that shows just about every detail of my skin is out of question!

I don't ever go out without make up either, and only feel okay without make up at home. I am currently living in another country with some relatives and the only time I take off my make up is to sleep. I worked at a hotel some time ago, and was given shared accommodation, and I would wear make up the entire time, sometimes even sleeping with it on, because people were in and out of my roommate's room night and day. I don't even want to think of what people must have thought.... but I'd rather they think I am incredibly vain and materialistic than let them see the state of my face.

Your husband says you pay more attention to it than other people. My mother says the same thing. I believe it is slightly true, but not entirely. Of course it is a bigger deal to me because it is on MY face. And I have realized that since I have acne, I scan people's faces for it too, and I do notice it on others. I think people DO notice it, but it doesn't really affect them so they stop noticing it. I have had people talk about 'someone who has really bad acne' in front of me. And trust me, my acne is way worse than the acne this other person has. I think it depends, just like everything else!

I also think that I would be 'pretty' if I didn't have acne. But I sometimes wonder if once (if ever) my acne has cleared up, I will find something else to obsess about. Because most people aren't satisfied with the way they look and always find something to criticize. On the other hand, I am quite sure that if I ever get perfect skin, I will be eternally grateful and not dare find something else to whine about!

I am going home soon, and have planned to completely change my diet, exercise much more frequently and only use 100% natural products. I went through the entire dermatologist, doctor, beautician, medicine, prescriptions, face wash and all, and nothing worked long term. However, I have noticed on several occasions when I changed my diet for the better (salad, fruit, no processed food, no sugar, very little wheat, potatoes) my acne decreased noticeably. And baking soda, lemon, and natural soap and moisturizers such as organic unrefined Shea butter are a 100 times better than anything commercial or medicinal. Anyway, I don't want to lecture, and you know your skin best but I am pretty confident that acne is our body's way of saying that something is not right, and the base is nutrition!

Stay strong! :):):)

Edited by oneredwine

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I completely understand the weather thing! I live in Illinois- I love the dry, cold winters because my makeup stays intact and oil-free, and my acne clears up a bit. But then come the super-humid, HOT summers, and I never want to go outside. Sometimes I'll open the door and it's like stepping into a hot shower, and my makeup just sweats right off.

That's probably why I focus more on getting my acne cleared up in the spring/summer.

I went to Walmart yesterday and the checkout lady just kept STARING at me. It was really uncomfortable, whenever I caught her she would smile and look away. I can't believe I have to wear makeup to Walmart now, too :/

I think you're right too, with the whole nutrition thing. I've given up soda and sweets, and am drinking a lot of water and green tea every day. I'm trying to eat a lot less processed foods and more fruits and simple foods. Hopefully this will help both of us!

If I could achieve clear skin, or even mostly clear skin, I don't think I would ever complain (at least not seriously) about my skin again, lol! I've focused on other parts of me because of my acne, always trying to 'make up' for that one area by putting a lot of effort into my hair, body, teeth, etc...

It boosts my self esteem a teensy bit, but not like waking up, washing my face and going would!

My friends have all reached that point where they've grown out of it, pretty much. I was hoping I would too :( [i'm nineteen]

I guess all we can do is our best to get rid of it! In some ways I think it's helped me become a better person though. I can't stand anyone making fun of anyone, because I know what that feels like. Whether it's weight, looks, acne, intelligence, etc... I understand that nobody should have to feel bad about themselves.

So I guess that's a positive to having acne :]

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I worked in a really busy Cafe which was partially outside last summer and during both my breaks I would lock myself into the bathroom, wash my face and re-apply my mask of foundation all over again because it would sweat off so badly. At one point, I was so sick of doing that, that I thought 'what the hell, no one is scanning my face for pimples' and started leaving my make-up on for the day. Until a co-worker told me that the barman had said something along the lines of 'What is up with her face? Why doesn't she just leave it alone?'.

 

And I can imagine what it was like with the checkout lady! I don't even want to think about what people must have thought when I went over to take their order/ serve them their drinks. I would be standing there, taking their order, and I could see they were looking at my skin rather than my eyes- and feel like a complete fool for thinking no one noticed!

 

I'll be 19 in October, and also hoped that by now I would be getting clear, but apparently not! :(

 

And as you said, it could actually be something positive to have acne. I have also started to accept people more and not judge them, but I also appreciate how interested in health I have become.

 

Like I said in my first post, I tried all kinds of treatments and nothing came without any side effects and nothing actually worked long term anyway. So I did plenty of research, and found out that acne hasn't always been around and it does not effect every kind of population. There is in fact an island where acne is non-existent, and it is all thanks to the organic/ unprocessed food they eat. I have learnt that the western diet is just not right for our body. Our body isn't made to digest huge amounts of sugar, dairy and wheat. Our body doesn't react positively to chemicals added to anything, even fruit or veg, so going organic is always better. And most importantly, our body doesn't need any kind of medication or chemical-based faced wash. Doctors and dermatologists know very well that acne is caused by our diet, but how would they make money if they just told everyone that all they had to do was change their diet? Who would they prescribe medicine and face-washes to?

 

Try searching for 'DrMercola' on Google, and search for 'Acne' on his website. What he says in his video he says is really interesting, and makes a lot of sense.

 

You can also search for 'High on Health'- it is also a website encouraging holistic cures for acne which I have found very useful.

 

It is easy to decide that acne has nothing to do with food, because it is much easier to take some kind of medicine to cure acne, rather than make an actual effort and change your lifestyle! And of course, we all know people who have diets WAY worse than ours and have the most perfect complexion. But people's bodies have differnt ways of showing us that something isn't right. And as much as I would love to have clear skin, I am incredibly glad that my body made me realize my diet is not at all good for my health now, rather than having the doctor announce I have cancer or getting a heart attack in the next 20 years.

 

Medication just fixes the problem on the surface, leaving the body in complete chaos deep down.

 

Hope all this isn't too annoying, I am sure you are aware of most of it already! :):P

Edited by oneredwine

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Not annoying at all! I love having someone to talk about this stuff with :]

That stinks!! I couldn't stand that weather. The summers here already make me irritable, lol. I'm a waitress too, which is why I always feel like if I don't wear makeup I'm giving the restaurant a 'dirty' look :/ It had to have been hard having to always use your breaks for that! I used to do it at school during lunch break, unless other girls were in there.

Isn't it annoying when you have friends who live on fast food yet have the clearest skin ever? Gah, it kills me, haha. Oh well, like you said, if acne makes us pro-active for health, then there's another benefit :]

I just went out and bought some almond milk, rice cheese, organic honey oat cereal and some organic power bars for my husband.

I've only tried the almond milk so far (original unsweetened) and it's really, really good! I was surprised. I've tried soy milk before and hated it.

I don't have as high of hopes with the rice cheese, but it probably won't taste too bad mixed in a sandwich or something xD

The thought of a non-dairy diet sounds so daunting, but after visiting the organics section I realized how easy it really is. There are so many different options (even pizza!) and it's not as expensive as I thought it would be. I got all of the above mentioned for about 10$. So it's pretty much the same price as brand name regular food.

Also found all the 'cage-free' and 'free-roaming/grass fed' eggs/meats :]

I'm really excited to start on a new, healthy lifestyle.

And I'll definitely look up those websites! I want to learn how to keep my body clean inside out, not just for acne but health in general.

Eastern diets seem to be really healthy too. Whether it's genetics or the diet, very few Easterners seem to get acne. And they eat lots of fresh foods, vegetables, and seafood. They also suffer from less chronic illnesses, diseases and pains.

I think America in general is too lazy and uninformed about health. All I ever see on the news is 'cutting calories' or 'no fat'. Most people don't even know that the right kind of fats are good for you. All we can do though is inform ourselves and lead healthy lifestyles :]

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At 19, I think there is still a very real possibility you may grow out of your acne in the next few years. I struggle with social anxiety though I don't know if it is completely from acne. I think I may have had some troubles with or without it but it doesn't help. There are people who will accept you and love you for you.

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Thank you for the hope! I'm still crossing my fingers, because my sister's acne didn't really clear until she was around 21. But she also had the exact opposite problem as me (I break out in the t-zone, she broke out on her cheeks).

I just thought it would be better by now, not worse/the same.

But you're right, I'm lucky to have people who love me regardless of my skin.

And there's always someone worse off :/

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