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nikon

The most upsetting thing a stranger has said about your acne?

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First... I have had 2 differents guys, on 2 separate occasions say exactly this: "You could be gorgeous... if it weren't for all that acne."

They were both close friends, and I took their constructive criticism like a champ.

Second...

Have you guys ever head of formspring?

It's a site you can ask people questions anonymously.... (Just friends that you add/allow)I should have known I was asking for trouble when I added my ex's girl friend...

I logged on to a whole page full of:

"Is that herpes on your face?"

"I saw you the other day! There was a zit on your chin!! I think it was talking to me!"

Etc.

I didn't cry. Or even get mad... I've become some what jaded to these petty insults. :rolleyes:

I have learned to remember I was blessed in so many other ways that are way more important than skin tone.

1. I'm intelligent and I'm working on a double major in college with a full ride from the school for my GPA

2. I am over all very healthy.

3. I'm actually GOING somewhere in life.

4. I was blessed with an attractive face and body, and an AMAZING metabolism.

5. I am well fed, clothed, sheltered, and kept warm by my owns means (Meaning I am not mooching off mommy and daddy.)

Even after I tell myself these things every morning...

I still can't been seen by any other human being with out makeup...

I can't stand to have my face touched... I'm self conscious about the texture.. and sometimes the cysts are soooo painful...

I never go out in the day light.... If I do, I stare at the ground..

I am constantly rushing to the bathroom to check/reapply my make up...

I can only sit at certain tables in restaurants.. No where near a window - no over head lighting that casts shadows from my bumps

It's SO HARD sometimes...

A lot of people don't understand WE CAN'T JUST CHANGE IT.

A couple dabs of drug store zit zapper doesn't work on us the way it works on them and their one lousy pimple.

"Drink water" "Wash your face more" "Wash your face less" "Use this $70 cream that I get commission on for selling to you" etc. etc.

People don't understand the menagerie of pills, topical treatments, birth controls, tweezers, hot compresses, cold compresses, pus, blood, moisturizers, and cotton balls that each of us face every time we walk in the bath room.

But as I mentioned before... I'm happy being smart, independent, and healthy with a few red bumps.. than someone with beautiful skin with their life in shambles.

I'll share with you one time my dad told me that stuck with me forever.

One day I was crying in the bathroom, caking layer upon layer of concealer on my skin to hide my bumps, thinking no guy would ever want me. My dad walked in and said to me: "If a guy likes you enough to get close enough to your face to see your acne... I don't think he cares about it, and only cares about you."

It's so true.

To this day I have had no lack of male suitors, even with 20 cysts on my face. My boy friend now is amazing.. and tonight, I showed him what I looked like with out make up... This moment was easily more scary and sacred to me than losing my virginity.

He kissed me and said, "You're still beautiful and I don't care."

<3

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Let's see.....

(1) I've got an older sister who's about two years older. However, she got my mom's genes (no acne), and I got my dad's genes. (Acne+oily skin) People tend to mix us up A LOT, so one time I was just randomly listing our differences, saying....."Naomi's taller, my hair's wavy, she doesn't have bangs...." then she broke in and said, '....and you have acne.." after that she added a "just kidding!", but that made it even more irritating. Not to mention the fact that it was in front of other people.

(2) One time when I was at my dentist's, she looked at me and said, "Oh my, you a turning into a young lady now!!!!!" (prods at pimple under my eye) she then proceded to console me and say that it was perfectly natural and recommended prodcuts from Avon. I wasn't that annoyed but still...........

(3) This one is the worst......When I was at church, this other kid said out of the blue, "Natalie, you have acne." I was rather taken aback because we were not talking about anything even slightly similar to skin. All I could do was set my teeth and grit out a "gee, thanks Ethan." What was even worse was that one of my closest friends was there, and all she did was laugh and say, "That's so random!!!!" Later when I mentioned Ethan's 'little' comment, she said, "Oh, that's nice in comparison to some other things I've heard. He wasn't trying to be mean; he was just being observant." When I heard that, I thought..."WHAT!!!??!?! So you're giving him credit for noticing that I had acne??? I hate to admit it, but yoou don't need a magnifying glass to see what's with my skin!!!"

Oddly enough, whenever I got a negative comment on my skin, it was always from somebody Asian. I'm Japanese/Chinese, and am pretty much the ONLY Asian I know who has a couple zits/a LOT of redmarks.

On a positive note.........I've had two of my friends randomly comment on my skin and say that it's been loooking much better during the past couple of weeks. I realized that I've been putting my skin through too much torture cleansing-wise by not giving it enough time to breathe.

hello, first, Im sorry people are bing so insensitive. I know this will sound weird but people who have never had skin problems will insist that a) its probably something youre doing and therefore, somehow you can control it, and b) think its no big deal so dont think twice about shooting off their mouths.

Its true most of them are probably not trying to be rude-- they just are thoughtless dolts at times. I have a cousin who has perfect skin but she has gained wieght recently...people often say things like "what a pretty girl, if she wasnt so chubby"...!! Thats just not acceptible. Same with our skin, we know its there duh! We dont need constant reminders.

Anyway there is a stereotype that all Asians have nice skin(like they all are bookish, and they all are thin..blah blah so sick of the stereotypes. Im a Russian immigrant who lives near New York and everyone assumes my family is in the Russian mafia...but thats another story. lol.

I wish there was some really sharp comeback you could give to stop them in their tracks...but I think its best to either just stare at them and say "you may not know it but its rude to comment on peoples appearances."

hope this helps. I do feel you :-)

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I love the mean, power hungry, condescending peeps who say " What is that on your face?" My response varies from:

"What the fuck do you think it is, pimples, and how satisfying was that for you? To point out my flaws in such an obvious sarcastic way. I hate people like you." I've used it with a few coworkers, I show that I AM NOT ASHAMED OR EMBARRASSED. They wish they could make me feel uncomfortable, but no, I have acne, like a lot of people and I am trying to deal with it, fuckin world, sums it up.

Those people are looking for a reaction. You know this, people that say mean things in general, need to feel powerful yadayayaaa. Just look at them and say "Are you for real, you don't know what a pimple is? HOLY COW" ha. Their aim is to make you feel uncomfortable, if you turn it around, then jokes on them. BAHH :D

AND YOU WIN!!!!! lol

I wish I could be like you! So strong and not afraid or cowed. I spend so much time making excuses for people who are probably not worth it anyway.

"havent you ever seen a pimple before?!"

I think I will try that one next time.

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I was in class talking to two guys and one of them says:

"You should use a better facial cleanser, your face is ugly compared to mine. You see, my face is like super clear and soft, and yours isn't."

"I take really good care of my face, I guess I was made differently."

"Use a different cleanser, and stop using nasty make up. Its not gonna make you look any better."

It took so much not to cry. I will never forget that day :/

take solace that those jerks will always be ugly on the INSIDE, and youre not.

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This guy was in my class not a stranger. When i had scars on my face-im black so its very noticable he made fun of me saying i had dots on my face 13 year olds are so immature. At least they cleared up ever since. :doh:

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This is what happen to me last time.

1. My friend shouts out my face look like active volcanoes. I knew he was just joking about it that time but it was still kinda hurting me.

2. A salesgirl approach me to sell all sort of facial product and telling me how bad my skin is while I am looking for other things.

Sometime I just feel like smiling at them while pointing middle finger on my back.

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First... I have had 2 differents guys, on 2 separate occasions say exactly this: "You could be gorgeous... if it weren't for all that acne."

They were both close friends, and I took their constructive criticism like a champ.

Second...

Have you guys ever head of formspring?

It's a site you can ask people questions anonymously.... (Just friends that you add/allow)I should have known I was asking for trouble when I added my ex's girl friend...

I logged on to a whole page full of:

"Is that herpes on your face?"

"I saw you the other day! There was a zit on your chin!! I think it was talking to me!"

Etc.

I didn't cry. Or even get mad... I've become some what jaded to these petty insults. :rolleyes:

I have learned to remember I was blessed in so many other ways that are way more important than skin tone.

1. I'm intelligent and I'm working on a double major in college with a full ride from the school for my GPA

2. I am over all very healthy.

3. I'm actually GOING somewhere in life.

4. I was blessed with an attractive face and body, and an AMAZING metabolism.

5. I am well fed, clothed, sheltered, and kept warm by my owns means (Meaning I am not mooching off mommy and daddy.)

Even after I tell myself these things every morning...

I still can't been seen by any other human being with out makeup...

I can't stand to have my face touched... I'm self conscious about the texture.. and sometimes the cysts are soooo painful...

I never go out in the day light.... If I do, I stare at the ground..

I am constantly rushing to the bathroom to check/reapply my make up...

I can only sit at certain tables in restaurants.. No where near a window - no over head lighting that casts shadows from my bumps

It's SO HARD sometimes...

A lot of people don't understand WE CAN'T JUST CHANGE IT.

A couple dabs of drug store zit zapper doesn't work on us the way it works on them and their one lousy pimple.

"Drink water" "Wash your face more" "Wash your face less" "Use this $70 cream that I get commission on for selling to you" etc. etc.

People don't understand the menagerie of pills, topical treatments, birth controls, tweezers, hot compresses, cold compresses, pus, blood, moisturizers, and cotton balls that each of us face every time we walk in the bath room.

But as I mentioned before... I'm happy being smart, independent, and healthy with a few red bumps.. than someone with beautiful skin with their life in shambles.

I'll share with you one time my dad told me that stuck with me forever.

One day I was crying in the bathroom, caking layer upon layer of concealer on my skin to hide my bumps, thinking no guy would ever want me. My dad walked in and said to me: "If a guy likes you enough to get close enough to your face to see your acne... I don't think he cares about it, and only cares about you."

It's so true.

To this day I have had no lack of male suitors, even with 20 cysts on my face. My boy friend now is amazing.. and tonight, I showed him what I looked like with out make up... This moment was easily more scary and sacred to me than losing my virginity.

He kissed me and said, "You're still beautiful and I don't care."

<3

Thanks.

Remember: A person who is worth it, and likes you for you, won't give a flying "eff" about your acne.

I was in class talking to two guys and one of them says:

"You should use a better facial cleanser, your face is ugly compared to mine. You see, my face is like super clear and soft, and yours isn't."

"I take really good care of my face, I guess I was made differently."

"Use a different cleanser, and stop using nasty make up. Its not gonna make you look any better."

It took so much not to cry. I will never forget that day :/

take solace that those jerks will always be ugly on the INSIDE, and youre not.

True story

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oh man there's so many.

in 7th grade these to girls told me i should test different acne products for my science project.

one time a little girl said, "you have so many mosquito bites"

once i went to get my eyebrows waxed and the asian lady says "ohhh lot of pimple"

i think the worst was this girl i used to be friends with told me i shouldn't bother putting on makeup because you can see all my acne underneath it anyway.

people are just dumb as hell.

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oh man there's so many.

in 7th grade these to girls told me i should test different acne products for my science project.

one time a little girl said, "you have so many mosquito bites"

once i went to get my eyebrows waxed and the asian lady says "ohhh lot of pimple"

i think the worst was this girl i used to be friends with told me i shouldn't bother putting on makeup because you can see all my acne underneath it anyway.

people are just dumb as hell.

OMG I can't escape a hair cut or nail/brow appointment with out someone mentioning my skin!!

IM PAYING YOU TO CUT MY HAIR, NOT TO PICK AT MY FLAWS.

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To be honest, I've been very lucky and not really had any strangers say anything about my acne, but I do notice people staring at IT rather than ME in a conversation.

My family poke fun at me and make snide comments about my skin, that hurts even more knowing the people who are meant to be supportive about something like this, are the ones making you cry :(

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Haha I remember when I was going to go get my first blood test (for starting Accutane) and the person taking my blood was like "are you sure you want to do this" I responded,,, yes. And she said "have you tried ProActiv?" this angered me because it was like she was judging my decision, plus she acted as though it must work for everyone. but I said yes (which was a lie). I actually remember after that, anytime I went to take my monthly blood test for Accutane the person taking my blood would always tell me a horror story about it LOL

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i was buying stamps in the post office, and when i got up to the counter, the clerk said to me, "oh my, i hope you are going to a dermatologist, that really needs to be looked at."....i said, "yes i am, ty"...i dont know why i said ty :))..it was just so embarassing, and really shook me up. the funny thing was i remember not wanting to leave the house, and i pushed myself out to go get the stamps, thinking i wouldnt have any embarassment goin to the post office..lol.... i just dont get people like that tho..like they dont think i dont see whats happening on my face???

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When my acne got really bad there was a proactive commercial on the radio and my friends all giggled and said something like, "This commercial is for you." Which is dumb.

Also, people talk behind my back and say "He has bad skin." Which is fair, cause I do. I still think those people who notice it suck and I wouldn't want to be friends with them.

One my time my niece pointed at a pimple that broke open and said "What's with that bobo on your face?" She was right. It was a "bobo" and I should stop picking at it. Good advice.

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Most annoying occurrences of the week:

1) My friend drunkenly tells me "everyone was talking about your acne at alexs graduation party..but don't worry I stood up for you"

*Why would he tell me that? I don't tell him everyone asks me if he's gay. SO ANNOYING. I've been thinking about it all day...and apparently one of the girls told him I should buy this "great facewash she gets from stanley korshak"...she has perfectly clear skin...people with clear skin DO NOT UNDERSTAND. It's not that simple. I'm not lazy or stupid...I have acne.

2) After my friend tells me this story..i say "oh wow thats nice"...and then my other friend in my room says.."yeah my face has been going crazy lately too..its so bad."

*SHE HAS 1 PIMPLE and otherwise flawless skin. Did she think that was going to make me feel better? I mean honestly..people are CLUELESS and it is very frustrating. I would do anything to be able to leave my house without makeup on and not be embarassed.

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Well luckily my experiences were never that awful... and hopefully they'll never be... but I know of a couple times were I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

I remember once my friend grabbed me, turned me around, and looked at me and said "No offense ( as if I'm not going to be offended?) but your face looks awful". I then went to my counselor and cried like a baby. Bleh.

Once my friend asked why I had a volcanoe on my head ( she always made obnoxious comments, usually just to be funny though ) Some of my friends would point it out which would always make me a bit sad but I don't think they care anymore. I suppose I just have zero to no confidence so one word usually makes me blubber. :P

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Wow. Take solace in the fact that anyone with full mental capacity who makes hurtful remarks like some of these are probably just insecure about their own failings. And if not, then they are just incredibly rude, and that will certaintly get them nowhere in life.

I am in a field underpinned by wisdom and therefore looking young is not a good thing, and I believe that my acne makes me look a lot younger than I really am. Also, people tend to think that acne means you are unhealthy, and if you are unhealthy, who are you to advise them on their own health. Fair enough...these are people's stereotypes and despite being ill-advised, I am not going to fight their existence. But it certaintly is difficult when patients make comments like "what the hell would SHE know!?"...and also "How old are you?!" (I am in my mid 20s).

My only advice is to not think that your acne makes you unnattractive. I take quite a lot of pride in my hair and have also been told by many people that i have very nice straight teeth (hehe!). Do not let your acne take over your life, it is only one aspect of of your appearance. Sure, clear skin is attractive, but so is a great smile, nice eyes, pretty hair, nice colouring and of course a warm personality.

:surprised:

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8 months ago I didnt have acne and I remember I used to make SOME ugly comments about people with acne... now i feel it and its so hurting

even tough my acne is moderate, i argue a lot with my sister and she told me 2 times "look at ypur face with that huge pimple"...it hurts a lot cause...shes my sister and she shouldnt tell me that even if I argue with her.

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One time this older kid came up to me and said that I should try proactive and I just snapped and punched him.

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Embarrasing moments at school!!

One time i was just walking around the cafeteria with my friend minding my own business when i run into one of my class mates that i casually talk to & out of no where she says" OMG what happened to your nose did you get into a fight! I was speechless and my friend just blurted out its "ACNE!!" In front of the whole school. smh.

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not exactly a stranger but my ex said to me ''i'm leaving you for her because she's better looking than you'' which is fair enough if he didn't find me attractive. but to be so blunt and shallow. and i knew it was because of my skin because he always used to point any spots out and say mean stuff.

grade A asshole. glad he's well away from me now. :dance:

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People don't tend to point out my acne, but I'm paranoid that people are looking at it, instead of me.

One time this guy at school said something along the lines of: "You'll never get a girl with all those pimples on your face." His jeering continued until I punched him in the face so hard, I broke his nose and he broke his wrist from the fall. Feels good, man. I know, I should've remained composed, but it sure as hell felt good afterwards. :dance:

I think acne has made me a more empathetic person, however. I know now how hurtful these small comments can be to people, so I try never to pick out even the smallest of flaws in people. Be it acne, weight, a slightly crooked nose, I hold my tongue.

So I can at least take solace in the fact that, once the battle is over, I'll come out of this a better person on the inside and out.

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Oh my god, you guys, all of this has happened to me so many times.

What's really frustrating, is when your "friends" point it out to you that you have a giant pimple, right in front of a group of people/other friends/co-workers.

I was at work one day and my "friend" came to see me. At this time, I was working retail at a tourist hot-spot. I get cystic acne but not that often. When I do though, it's a beast. So on this particular day she comes into my store and proceeds to point and ask "what is that?"...As if she doesn't fucking know by now, I have acne. Now, I can understand maybe her curiosity and also the fact that she literally doesn't even have pores, so she doesn't understand what cystic acne is or why it forms and what not.

But she did this TIME AND TIME AGAIN. I got so sick of her asking me what was between my brows, what's on my chin, why I have a huge bump that looks like I got punched....I mean seriously, have some common courtesy!

So many times, I don't even want to leave the house because I'm afraid of having to face people and look them in the eye. Before I had acne, I took my skin and my looks for granted. I was all "I wish my nose was slimmer, I wish I had higher cheekbones, etc." Looking back now, I would give anything to have my clear skin back. How stupid I was to nitpick at my face the way I was...when now, my skin is uncontrollable and it's making me miserable.

Then of course there's the friend who gets 1 pimple a millenium and when they do, all hell breaks loose and they can't shut up about it. I'm like...okay this is awkward, do you not see what I'm dealing with over here?

Gah, the frustration.

Sounds as if you need some decent friends !

I cant believe anyone could be so stupid as that. If I were youd, Id ask her..."what is that large useless thing between your ears...oh I guess its what passes for your brain".

Sorry. I just have NO patience for people who point out obvious flaws...ie 'he has spots" "she is fat".."oh wow, youre short are you fully grown"?

The world has SO many idiots, but so many sweet people too. Dont suprround yourself with teh idiots if you can help it. I mean you cant choose your family but you can decide who you will be friends with.

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not exactly a stranger but my ex said to me ''i'm leaving you for her because she's better looking than you'' which is fair enough if he didn't find me attractive. but to be so blunt and shallow. and i knew it was because of my skin because he always used to point any spots out and say mean stuff.

grade A asshole. glad he's well away from me now. :dance:

You dont need any Assholes in your life! Maybe his new girlfriend is perfect(she is inflatable lol)

Anyway you look very attractive, if if matters :-)

You will find someone much better, I did :-D

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