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jets0006

to all the guys out there...

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so the weekend is slowly coming up and im planning on seeing this guy that i really like ( who i havent seen in a couple weeks) and of course i recently got this huge nasty pimple on the side of my mouth plus a little one right next to it. and when i look in the mirror its the only thing i see. but i was just wondering ...do you guys pay as close attention to my face as me? and if they do notice my bumps do you think it will make his feelings towards me change? any opinions would help!

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so the weekend is slowly coming up and im planning on seeing this guy that i really like ( who i havent seen in a couple weeks) and of course i recently got this huge nasty pimple on the side of my mouth plus a little one right next to it. and when i look in the mirror its the only thing i see. but i was just wondering ...do you guys pay as close attention to my face as me? and if they do notice my bumps do you think it will make his feelings towards me change? any opinions would help!

Doesn't bother me, but I've had, and got rid of acne, so I understand the stress about it.

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not at all, my girlfriend came with a huge pimple on her nose that she was flippin out about, but then i have severe acne scarring lol.. she was adorable pimple and all.. dont worry about it and let your personality mask the pimple, he wont even know its there

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If he truly likes you the bumps won't matter besides he probably likes you for more then one reason or quality.

(style,intelligence,zeal,looks etc)

Just enjoy yourself, and i hope it works out you deserve happiness!

1up

Edited by all in 87

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Remember that you see yourself a LOT worse than how the guy will see you.

In fact (my personnal opinion), I'm a guy, and I wouldn't mind at all if a girl I liked had few acne like yours. I wouldn't mind at all. So, even if you really don't like having that near your mouth, remember that you see yourself a lot worse than others see you ;).

So I hope you won't judge yourself too hard when you'll meet him!

Wish you the best of luck ;).

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I do notice severe acne, but just a random pimple here or there doesn't really turn me off. Of course it depends on the girl. If you're confident and funny around him, that should be more than enough to take the spotlight off your breakouts.

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And what if it's not just one pimple? What if it's a bunch? That's an obvious turn off isn't it? I just don't see how a guy could like me when I look like this. :(

So tell me what you think. Be honest. I think I've heard the worst already.

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so the weekend is slowly coming up and im planning on seeing this guy that i really like ( who i havent seen in a couple weeks) and of course i recently got this huge nasty pimple on the side of my mouth plus a little one right next to it. and when i look in the mirror its the only thing i see. but i was just wondering ...do you guys pay as close attention to my face as me? and if they do notice my bumps do you think it will make his feelings towards me change? any opinions would help!

I dont think i know any guy who would ignore a girl or make her feel worse if she felt insecure about herself, i wish i could convince you that his feelings wont change towards you...so ill try:D

If he cares about you, he'll see past any little imperfection you think you have and like you for who you are and how you act towards him, and yourself in general. Ive been in a reverse situation several times, where before i had to see a girl id start stressing out, breaking out, and of course, freaking out! and i wont lie, ive had some experiences where i ended up with very shallow people and got hurt, but even then i tried my best to have fun and for a little while, it didnt matter what i thoguht i looked like, i hope you have better luck and manage to keep urself positive your whole life:D

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And what if it's not just one pimple? What if it's a bunch? That's an obvious turn off isn't it? I just don't see how a guy could like me when I look like this. :(

So tell me what you think. Be honest. I think I've heard the worst already.

We notice all sorts of things about people we meet and, in terms of attraction, the presence of whatever attracts us far outweighs something like acne which might not be so aesthetically pleasing.

Of course, the majority here can only offer the perspective of someone who has suffered with acne, and I think that experience ultimately makes us better and more tolerant people. For example, if I was out and saw a girl with acne, and she was chatting to people and drawing people in, smiling, being happy and confident, I swear that would be the most attractive thing to me.

I'm risking sounding incredibly hypocritical here because I behave the opposite way as far as my own acne is concerned. I really should take my own advice! :wall:

When it comes to ourselves, we place so much significance on our appearance and afford it way too much negative attention, perhaps to the point where it's all we think of and it's all we focus on. But we never think that way about other people and they won't think that way about us. I'm quite sure that the majority of people see acne, take it as matter of fact and just move straight on. Personally, the only reason it might be brought to their attention time and again is because I pretty much try and hide my face when I'm around people, which of course has the complete opposite effect to what I want because it only serves to draw attention to it.

If we shrug it off and just go about our business as if it doesn't bother us and we don't notice it, others won't notice wither.

:)

Edited by PaulH85

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Personally i wouldn`t mind if the girl had some pimples or not. It would probably be for the bettre if she had because it would be easier for me. Anyway of course i have to be attracted to the girl in the first place.

Two things are important for me

1 I like the looks of the girl And i meen all over. you arent ugly because you have acne it only makes you human.

2 personality is also really important and the way she makes ME FEEL!

I want to feel like im the only one in the world for her and that i am the cutest sexiest best in the world(even though im not haha)

Anyway we boys are really simple beings so only take of your clothes and i guarantee he wont be looking at your pimple ;)

Edited by flem85

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Thanks Paul, that makes me feel a bit better. I'm not the most confident person out there, but I'm working on that. I just have always wondered if the acne cancels out the good parts about me. And I know you don't speak for all guys, but it's good to know that some guys feel this way.

Flem, I like what you said. Minus the part about taking the clothes off. You could have left that part out. haha. I mean yes, that would work, but that's not what I'm looking for. I get your point, but I don't like the idea that to for a guy to not look at my face I should be naked. Not sure if you meant it like that or not.

Sorry this is so short, but I have multiple big exams to study for. I'm stressing out, and yes, this makes my acne flare up even more. Oh the joys of college.

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Alisa: I was only joking with you =) with the being naked part haha

You just have to go on the date and be yourself. Thats all you can do anyway =)

I bet your face is beatiful even not if its not perfect (as most people faces ain`t)

I find myself now studying peoples faces and skin all the time because im so self consious about it, But i remember the days i weren`t self consoius about my face and that if someone had some acne i saw it but didnt the least study or think anything of it!

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Don't worry about it at all. Recently I've been starting to hang out with this one girl and she has some acne, but I'm really interested in her so I really don't give a sh*t that she has some pimples. It's not a big deal at all to me. If this guy likes you, he shouldn't care either.

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Guest mariacne

Doesnt matter what he thinks, point is if you feel too insecure to see him don't see him, it's not worth the stress, if you're feeling like crap before you go out imagine how you'll feel when you are out... I can't go out when I feel ashamed or embarrassed about my skin, if I do I have a terrible time and torture myself about it for days after. I find it's much simpler just to stay home.

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Well, there is a guy in my life and he says that he doesn't care. He says I'm beautiful. I just have a hard time believing that. I don't see how he could see that. He asked me once if I looked in the mirror and thought I was ugly, and my answer was yes. I don't see how anyone could think I'm beautiful.

He's obviously a great guy because he still likes me even with my acne, but the beautiful part gets me. Ignoring it is fine, but lying about it to make me feel better isn't going to work. I know what I look like, and there is no denying that. He says he's not lying, and maybe he isn't. But how can I be beautiful when I look like this?Answer that for me, guys.

Okay, I'm going on a rampage now, I need to stop. If anybody even reads this, they are going to be like woah girl calm down.

The truth hurts, and I'm a big girl. I think I can take it. And I mean big as in grown up. haha.

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The worst things I have ever heard from girls is:

'You might have been good looking if you never got acne"

and the other one isn't really something that was said, but I went on a date with a girl that used to have acne but I didn't know this until she told me she couldn't see me again because my acne reminded her of hers and how disgusting she thought she looked.

This has really knocked by confidence especially since once your not a teenager the more acne can turn someone off you. Or it has in my experience.

It might be all well and good that beauty is on the inside, but people don't give the inside a chance because they never want to approach and give the outside a chance.

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The worst things I have ever heard from girls is:

'You might have been good looking if you never got acne"

Had almost the very same experience the first time I ever met up with a girl. Unlucky for me, my acne was probably the worst it's ever been and the entire experience was horrible. She called her friend and I heard her say, "He'd probably be good looking without all the spots".

Like a total idiot, I stayed because I didn't want to ditch her in case I hurt her feelings.

How pathetic is that? She insulted me, but I was concerned about doing something that might upset her! Jeez, I swear I'm too nice for my own good.

When I think about it, I've behaved this way about things many times before. No wonder my self-esteem's shot! :lol:

Of course, the girl in question was actually a horrible person. She was selfish, nasty and narrow-minded. And I'm not just saying that because of what happened. Other people said it, and I probably knew it but was blinded by the fact that she'd initially showed even just a seconds interest in me.

But for every person like that - in terms of personality, she was actually a horrible person - there are millions out there who don't think that way and will look far beyond any skin problems and like us because of who we are. Even after that experience, I am still convinced beyond doubt that the majority value your qualities as a person in the long run and I won't stop focusing on that, and when I get myself together and find the confidence to beat my social phobias, that's the part of me that I will sell to everyone because deep down I know that I'm a good person worth knowing.

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I just wanted to add a couple of thoughts. I have been surrounded by boys my whole life, as in several older brothers, father, friends, now husband. I know what guys are usually thinking because my "boys" are all very vocal. My "boys" are all attractive, acne free guys. They have had crushes on girls who've had cystic acne. They've been in relationships with girls who have "all over" break-outs, and they've dated girls who have flawless skin...They don't worry too much about that. The number one thing they complain about is when a girl acts like a door mat and has no confidence. In all honesty, they've "used" girls like that. That's the brutal truth. Low self esteem shows and if you act like the guy is doing you a favor by dating you then he'll feel like he's doing you a favor. Haven't you ever seen a husband with a really hot wife and he leaves her for someone way less attractive. It's because LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING. It's how the person makes you feel about yourself that usually matters.

And for all the boys out there, I've had a couple of skin issues here and there, but for the most part my skin is usually clear. I'm not someone who looks at really bad skin and can "feel the pain"; however, I can honestly say that someone's skin never makes me feel one way or another about them. Again, it's whether they think they are worth something. If someone knows their value, has confidence, and has a personal power within them then I'm in. Seriously, skin doesn't even come into it for me. Not at all. I have plenty of girl friends who would say the same.

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The number one thing they complain about is when a girl acts like a door mat and has no confidence. In all honesty, they've "used" girls like that. That's the brutal truth. Low self esteem shows and if you act like the guy is doing you a favor by dating you then he'll feel like he's doing you a favor.

This makes me further understand where I went wrong with a girl I met recently. We met, arranged to go out, it went great and we arranged a second date. She had to cancel the second date for a valid reason which had nothing to do with me, but of course my insecurities got the better of me.

Since then, I think I've given the impression that she would be doing me a favour by seeing me again. I had to backtrack and tell her that I enjoyed being with her and wanted to see her again, but I can't help but think that in the back of her mind she's thinking, "He just wants to test if he can actually tackle his insecurities. I could be anyone who just happens to show an interest and he's not into me specifically". I can honestly say that she's wrong, but of course the more I say it, it makes me sound like I'm protesting and trying to convince myself.

She's going away on holiday for two weeks and says she'll get in touch when she gets back, which I said I'd be looking forward to. Given that I had to spend the last week trying to convince her I wanted to see her again, purely for who she is, I think it probably would be best if I let her get in touch with me when she's ready. If she happens to think it over and what I've said to her rings true, she'll get in touch. I hope so anyway. If she does see me, I think I'll have to explain why I acted as I did and just move forward.

All these insecurities and stuff - the lack of confidence and self esteem, and indeed an element of paranoia in terms of what people think and how they see me - it's all because of acne. I would have never been this way otherwise. The acne's not even really a big deal these days, I just get a few spots now. That's getting better. The only thing that's been stopping me getting better as far as the other things are concerned is me.

There's not a great deal to put people off, so to speak, as far as my skin is concerned, so I don't think it would be an effort to "mask" that with a confidence and a friendliness if I just put myself out there. Not just with girls, but with everyone. And besides, if anyone did dislike the way I looked and didn't want anything to do with me purely on a physical basis, that should be their problem and their loss.

I can talk the talk, now I just need to be brave and walk the walk.

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I think its funny when my girlfriend has a pimple, in a cute way. She'll be like "oh, a pimple!" and I'll be like "you call that a pimple, really? If you only knew.." haha

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I would just like to point out that I don't think anyone on this forum is in a position to judge you over your acne.

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I would just like to point out that I don't think anyone on this forum is in a position to judge you over your acne.

You're probably right. We wouldn't judge because we know what it's like when people do. I guess this isn't exactly the "correct" place to ask. But what gives anyone the right to judge anybody else? You're not better than me, just because I have acne.

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