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I hate this characteristic about myself... that I get bitter when I look at everyone around me and they all have clear skin. And then I start feeling all this anger and self-pity generate inside me.

I hate it!

Anyone else experience this pretty regularly...? And if so, how do you keep it from ruining your day?

Let me add, it doesn't help when you finally bring it up to someone for some kind of consolation and then they start complaining about their acne. I mean, are you kidding me?! All I could say is, in a kind voice of course, "I really don't see anything..." Because I really didn't see anything! Nothing! No acne, no scars, no anything! It's just like... how dare they even complain! Do they really think they have it that bad?

Sometimes I get tired of being so mature and civil about my skin condition... because I try so hard everyday to be optimistic and never let on that it is eating me up inside. But no one else tries to even understand. I guess being too chipper makes it seem to them like it's not a problem at all, or that I know it's all my fault... so it's not their problem. I mean, I'm not saying they should assume my problems... just that they should not be so calloused about it! Empathy means a lot... and any person in psych (that really knows psych) or any emotionally intelligent person knows to never assume that you understand another person's suffering. That, in itself, is the first step to really understanding a person and what they are experiencing. I know that someone can argue that the person who complained about their non-existent acne could be suffering and I shouldn't assume their suffering is less than mine, but you've also got to keep tabs on a thing called logic...

A good attitude is in no way a representation of the amount of suffering someone has endured. All it tells us is how strong a person is in proportion to the situation that s/he has encountered. I can't help but wonder what the person with non-existent acne would do if s/he had my skin. How would s/he cope? S/he might be suffering now, but how would s/he deal with a real skin problem?

Edited by hello3angel
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I don't think it's bitter, as such. I would say that a lot of it is simply wishing that you could look that way. I think the majority here spend a lot of time thinking about their skin and they too would look at others and wonder what it might be like not to have to worry about their skin. Of course, just because someone has clear skin, it doesn't mean they don't have other things going on that they too may like to change, but, based on what you can see at that given moment, I think it's only natural to assume that the person you see doesn't have to worry about their skin, and that you'd be happier if you had their skin.

In recent months, I've found myself feeling this way a lot. Looking at people and wondering why my skin doesn't look like theirs. At that moment in time, those people might be smoking or eating junk food - or whatever else you might consider can be bad for your skin - and I'll think, 'How on Earth do they get away with having clear skin? I follow the rules and essentially do the opposite of what they're doing, so why am I the one with the problem skin?' You start to feel like you've done something wrong. Like you're being punished. Like you're being singled out. Again, these feelings are completely natural. You just have to try and keep things in perspective I suppose. For example, even though I could be the only person I might see on any given day who has problem skin, and feel like I'm the only one as a result, I know there are thousands here who deal with it as well.

My skin's improved a lot recently, but the way my mind works is as a result of having had acne for 12 years. The thought processes I go through and the behaviours I display have been around for more than half my life now, so I guess it's going to take a while to kick these habits.

At this moment in time, I have one pimple. It's a decent size and it's sore, but it's just one pimple. Other than the redness, uneven skin tone and the odd scar - which have all been around for years so I aught to be totally used to - I have nothing going on, other than this one pimple. Despite that, you can bet that when I go to work tomorrow I will be negatively comparing my skin to that of pretty much every person I see. Tomorrow night, I will be photographing some bands at a bar, and you can bet that I will see everyone as being photogenic and I will be envious of their skin, all the while making sure I'm hiding behind my camera.

That aspect of things has nothing at all to do with the state of my skin at that moment in time. I reckon I could take away that single pimple, the redness and a couple of scars, and I'd still feel that these people look better than me or that I'm inferior to them. That's because I've developed what I would consider to be a very significant inferiority complex after all these years of suffering acne. Even though I think I might finally be turning a corner as far as my skin in concerned, the way I think of myself is bad for me, the lack of confidence is depressing, and the sheer lack of a sense of self-worth is just outright upsetting.

But, the very fact that I have been able to recognise the problem, express it, and indeed find the words to write it down, means I know what the problem is and can figure out how to deal with it. I guess that I essentially need to re-program the way I think. Not that I can claim to know much about it, as far as having an actual education on the subject is concerned, but I believe it's down to cognitive behaviour... :think:

Edited by PaulH85
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I hate this characteristic about myself... that I get bitter when I look at everyone around me and they all have clear skin. And then I start feeling all this anger and self-pity generate inside me.

I hate it!

Anyone else experience this pretty regularly...? And if so, how do you keep it from ruining your day?

Let me add, it doesn't help when you finally bring it up to someone for some kind of consolation and then they start complaining about their acne. I mean, are you kidding me?! All I could say is, in a kind voice of course, "I really don't see anything..." Because I really didn't see anything! Nothing! No acne, no scars, no anything! It's just like... how dare they even complain! Do they really think they have it that bad?

Sometimes I get tired of being so mature and civil about my skin condition... because I try so hard everyday to be optimistic and never let on that it is eating me up inside. But no one else tries to even understand. I guess being too chipper makes it seem to them like it's not a problem at all, or that I know it's all my fault... so it's not their problem. I mean, I'm not saying they should assume my problems... just that they should not be so calloused about it! Empathy means a lot... and any person in psych (that really knows psych) or any emotionally intelligent person knows to never assume that you understand another person's suffering. That, in itself, is the first step to really understanding a person and what they are experiencing. I know that someone can argue that the person who complained about their non-existent acne could be suffering and I shouldn't assume their suffering is less than mine, but you've also got to keep tabs on a thing called logic...

A good attitude is in no way a representation of the amount of suffering someone has endured. All it tells us is how strong a person is in proportion to the situation that s/he has encountered. I can't help but wonder what the person with non-existent acne would do if s/he had my skin. How would s/he cope? S/he might be suffering now, but how would s/he deal with a real skin problem?

You hit the nail on the head but i really don't get mad when i see other people with clear skin. It kinda of makes me wonder why me and then i remember this is the way god made me even if it is fuck$d up.

But i sometimes wonder if people really care i have had acne since 2000 and through middle school and high school i begin to see people didn't give a flying f$ck.So that really made me mad when people said things about me. I hate to say it but people care about who/what they want to care about if you are not important to them you will be left out even if you are going through something that is not your fault.

In conculsion i would like to say most people are self-centered,self-absorb and generally full of themselves and if you don't "LOOK" a certain way these days you will be generally ignored

and left out. I have seen the best in people and more often then not the worst!

The only thing all of us can do is keep going no matter how hard and stupid this condition is and if you're mad i understand because the human mind and heart can only take so much pain and stress.

1 UP :wall:

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where i live most of the people have acne. i have mild acne and when i look at someone with clear skin, i don´t get jealous or anything like that. you know something? you might have acne and some people don´t but you have beautiful qualities that maybe they don´t have. life is not all about clear skin you know? i bet you are beautiful, you have personality and sometimes people with clear skin don´t have personality or they might envy you for something good you have. why do i say this? because i have a friend who has clear skin, and she told me one time that she envy me because i have personality, she liked the way i dressed etc. just take a look at the mirror, take a look at your eyes, your nose, your mouth you need to like and accept who you are. i know is hard having acne but...everything would be fine. have you ever been to the beach? everytime i go to the beach, my acne fades away completely, is because of the salt of the ocean and the sun. i think that i really like summer because is when my acne doesn´t look that bad.

i haven´t look at my skin for several months in the mirror, everytime i do so, i try to look at my eyes, my mouth, i wear a cute hairstyle, etc. i´m not going to let acne control my life because acne is very normal in fact now this days everybody has acne. just because you see some people with clear skin doesn´t mean they never had pimples don´t feel like you are the only one with acne cause you are not.

think in a positive way, acne does have a solution, and you can also wear a little bit of makeup to cover up some of the biggest pimples that might bother you so much. i wear a little bit of makeup when my acne doesn´t look good, sometimes it does but when it doesn´t i wear makeup and i just go on with my life.

there are other things to worry about, we worry so much about our looks because we are living in a world very superficial that some people only think that looks always matter. i have tons of friends with clear skin and all boys are in love with me i´m not saying this in a cocky way but if you have personality and if you feel good about yourself than people will see that and respect you for who you are not for how you look ;)

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skin envy.

someone else has something that you do not have,and you hate them for it. this experiance can be transferred to any part of your life.

as bad as you might think you have it, dont let this one aspect of your life blind you from then other things you do still have. dont let it make you unresourceful, blinding your from what you have. making you feel desolate and powerless, and stripped of all the wealth that life has to offer.

thats doesnt mean you "should" like having acne though, or should accept it.

you can hate acne, and still feel like you have some good things about you in your life that makes your life enjoyable.

acne can be limiting in some ways and make you feel "grounded", and that their may be certain things that you cannot do or be or options that are not for you, but do not these limitations be false, you may not want to do certain things with acne, but maybe you will resolve to choose to do them inspite of acne.

Edited by AutonomousOne1980
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I feel the same way many times.

As a result, I dislike going outside and coming in contact with people.

It just makes me uncomfortable and angry.

My best option is to just clear my skin as best I can and get on with my life...

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I feel pretty much every negative emotion all of the time now. I honestly don't remember what it's like to be relaxed, confident, and happy. It's so sad. I do have skin envy. And self-pity, self-hatred, devastation, fear, anxiety, depression, and on and on. I know that this underlying current of low self-esteem was there before the acne, but that's all it was - a small trickle that would sometimes drop into my life here and there. I get that. But, now, it has completely taken over me because of acne and scarring. I lived just fine before all of this crap. Perhaps I had moments of self-doubt, but I didn't spend my entire life wishing I were dead.

I don't leave the house unless I'm forced to. And when I go for walks I try to make sure I go in the dark, or at least dusk.

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Yep, I feel like crap pretty much all the time cause of this Acne Disease. I try to get past it, but I cant seem to accept for the 1 or 2 days out of the year that my skin looks good. I didnt have it bad at all in my teens, but it started in my mid 20's and Im now 40 and the crap just never stops. It would of felt much more normal to have had it in my teens than as an adult, but its too late for that!

Edited by pugrocker
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Reading all of these made me feel sad and angry that you all have to put up with this and feel this way. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again: life really isn't fair. I hope everyone finds relief from this feeling... be it through clearer skin, surrounding yourself with the right people, or gathering the courage within yourself to be happy even though you might feel like you don't deserve it or have little to be happy about. Maybe even all of these. Good luck to all of you, and hopefully I will learn to someday take my own advice...

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I completely agree... well said!

skin envy.

someone else has something that you do not have,and you hate them for it. this experiance can be transferred to any part of your life.

as bad as you might think you have it, dont let this one aspect of your life blind you from then other things you do still have. dont let it make you unresourceful, blinding your from what you have. making you feel desolate and powerless, and stripped of all the wealth that life has to offer.

thats doesnt mean you "should" like having acne though, or should accept it.

you can hate acne, and still feel like you have some good things about you in your life that makes your life enjoyable.

acne can be limiting in some ways and make you feel "grounded", and that their may be certain things that you cannot do or be or options that are not for you, but do not these limitations be false, you may not want to do certain things with acne, but maybe you will resolve to choose to do them inspite of acne.

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