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Goneandnvrcominbak

Having a serious dilemma. (Work related)

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Hi Everyone.

I've been pretty MIA for a while. Don't get me wrong, I love this site and the forums but sometimes it can get pretty depressing reading stuff and obsessing over my skin. I'm having a really bad dilemma. Here's my story:

I've been searching for a new job lately. Although the economy sucks right now, not to mention I live in San Francisco California, which makes finding a job harder. I've had some success applying at different places such as banks, office jobs, customer service stuff etc.. and had some interviews. My problem is that sometimes if I have an interview, I won't show up at all because of fear of how they will look at me and think of me.

As most of you know, my skin hasnt been good to me the past 3 years. Although I'm somewhat clear now, I still have the worst self esteem. Not to mention that I have really bad acne scarring and SUPER MUTANT oily skin. Also, Im still getting random acne scars all over my face where I never had acne before so you can say im basically fucked.

I've been at my current job for almost 2 years now b/c I'm so comfortable working there but I need a job that pays more and have a little bit more advancement than what i do now. Right now, I work as a receptionist for a gym BTW.

Example of a scenario: I applied for a position at a bank but it has the horrible fluorescent lighting that I absolutely hate and try to avoid because it makes my skin look so bad and accentuates all my scars. I dont want to be getting anxiety while I work there thinking that every customer I get or every coworker Im next to is checking out my skin and thinking Im so hideous. The good thing though about it is that its a full time job and has benefits.

Technically, I hate to say it, but I base my job searches on stupid things like "how many people work there, how many customers am i going to encounter, what type of lighting will i be working under". I hate how my skin basically dictates my life. I just needed to let it out and seek any advice that anyone might have for me. Basically just words of encouragement.

Thanks :wub:

Edited by frannymae

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Just tell them you'd like to work there but only if they change all the lights. :razz: Anyway, I can relate. I'm lookin' for a job now too and I'm looking for a more quiet place to work. Similar to the ones you've described, really. I think it's very normal that you take your skin situation, if you will, into consideration. I mean if right now it bothers you to the extent that it does then there's no point in making things really, really, really, really difficult/challenging for yourself as it will probably make you miserable, right? What's that saying? Biting off more than you can chew? Anyway...me, I have a lot of criteria too for jobs. I'm looking for a place where the environment e.g. isn't very rowdy. I've worked at one place where the backoffice was filled with 20-40 year olds who seemed to have the emotional maturity of your average 15 year old! Now there was a horrible sight. ;) Anyway, not every place is for everyone. And that's ok, as far as I'm concerned. But I feel I'm digressing a tad. Let's see... Oh yeah, your skin dictating your life. Well, I think chances are that if you were to say your thoughts concerning your skin out loud in the presence of the people at the bank they'd go "What? :lol: Come on, we hardly notice your skin! Don't be silly! You think none of the people here have skin issues? We'd love to have you here!" or something along those lines.

Suppose, I'm right, wouldn't it'd be sort of a shame if you let the job pass you by? Can't you give the job a try and if it really doesn't work out, that the gym takes you back? I've met some people who have had these kind of arrangements with their managers.

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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I just got out of college last month and I have a job. *yayy*, but it doesnt pay much. noo...

Let me tell you something that is "in fact" worse than most of acne.

If you have horrible pimples, etc, cystic, etc, im sorry I dont know what to tell you, this is not for you.

Anyways, it's anxiety.

You may not have researched it, but it can include hot flashes, or just increased heat in your head/face/chest area from being anxious (aka the feeling your body created to deal with fear, like your waiting for something bad to happen). You may tremble, have shaky hands or you may sweat, worse, you may not, it may itch everywhere and the worse part of this .. during job interviews is that that anxiety will literally erase your thoughts, and you have nothing to say, social anxiety.

So, you have acne, acne scars, and you said it was basically clear except for scars.

Job interviewers don't care about your minor acne or scars, they may feel a little pity, but.. I guarantee you they will feel (literally) 3 times more pity for you if they saw you getting nervous, anxious.

So, again, I repeat, you have acne/scars, don't get anxiety. Try to stay off that road. Now is not the time.

You don't want to have that red, nervous, sweaty, shaky, head... your fine off having acne and scars and clear un-reddened complexion. Anxiety will creep ppl out more than most acne.

Edited by Wangod

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Well, I don't have acne breakouts anymore but I do have a good bit of red marks left over and they are noticeable to anyone with decent eyes. I will tell you right now, my confident personality dominates any negative aspect of my physical appearance. I know for a fact that the people in my workplace take me seriously and have a high amount of respect for me due to the fact that I am confident and aggressive about who I am.

-When you are talking to someone, always look them in the eyes

-Keep your head up and your shoulders strong when you walk

-Give a solid response to people if they ask you something (say Yes, or No to a question rather then a lame 'mhm' or 'yea')

-Equip yourself with a good, subtle sense of humor. Don't be afraid to be a little sarcastic with people sometimes (in a friendly way of course)

-If you know you're right about something, don't ever hesitate to pounce on the situation and let people know what you believe

These are just a few of the many qualities you can have in the workplace that will truly and utterly dismantle any effect your acne would have on the perceptions people have of you. Also, remember that people are usually too busy worrying about their own insecurities then to bother judging you. If anything, once you demonstrate some of the behaviors listed above, people will probably end up wishing they had a personality like that.

Remember - if you want to be a certain type of person, then just be it. Emulate yourself exactly how you want people to see you, and they will see you that way.

Edited by Sportsguy35

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i can relate to you, i graduate this May and want to find a job, but there are so many other variables to working somewhere that we have to go through cause of our insecurities.

My most used quote : FML

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i can relate to you, i graduate this May and want to find a job, but there are so many other variables to working somewhere that we have to go through cause of our insecurities.

My most used quote : FML

Omg. FML is what I live by haha. Really tho.

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I've actually got a 80-100% chance (in my mind lol) that I've got a few interviews coming up in the next week or so too. I'm really excited!

I'm pretty chilled out regarding it... I'm not often really bothered by skin "problem" nowadays. Except when I blush like mad when I get really warm or if I'm shy. haha My face turns into red bell pepper red which makes me quite uncomfortable... But other than that...it's ok.

I don't really have that much advice except "try to relax as much as you can". I'm sure that once you're working somewhere you'll see that it's not necessarily as difficult as you imagine. I think, anyways.

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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Hahah it's so funny you post this. I'm in the process of switching jobs to a less stressful (and more dimly lit lol) place. It took alot for me to go to my second interview with the gm because I literally had no time to shower and get ready and my skin was red from being at the beach. My makeup wasn't covering my acne at all and halfway through getting ready I just sat down and cried. I forced myself to finish getting ready even though I was in a horrible mood when I got there and thought I blew it bc all I could think about was how I looked but I got the job and start training next week! And trust me if I can do it anyone can.. :doubt:

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You shouldnt let your skin hold you back. Easier said than done, I know.

Don't let it stop you from going to an interview. A new job can open up many new opporunities that werent there before. You dont want to miss out bc of how you view yourself.

We are all our own harshest critic, especially when it comes to our skin. It doesnt bother other people as much, that is if they even notice it.

A manager or HR person will strictly focus on your skills and how professional you conduct yourself during an interview.

Chances are they have interviewed plenty of people with flaws- fat, smelly, underqualified, unintelligent, annoying, rude, and so on. Most of these things can hold you back (well, maybe not being fat) during an interview, but certainly not your skin.

If you dont let it bother you, it wont bother anyone else.

Goodluck with your job search!

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Wow, I know exactly how you feel. I work in a department store and sell shoes. There are full length mirrors everywhere. I was so tempted to just go stare at my face and obsess over the imperfections in the mirror.. but that couldn't happen considering there were customers to be taken care of. It really freaked me out when I had to wear heavy makeup to cover hyperpigmentation and whiteheads and saw that my makeup was streaky and uneven. I was worried about what other people would think about me once they saw my face. I was pretty paranoid, actually. It's not like that for me anymore since my skin is looking really good (after Accutane). I'm not saying "oh yeah, go on Accutane right now!". but it took me awhile to finally get comfortable with myself and establish a peace of mind. It took me 4 years to get to where I am today.

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