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omi

Talking to someone else about their acne

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This isn't about my experiences with acne, as I got on a proper regimen and am now over six months completely clear. I went from terrible horminal cysts to baby skin and I feel great. I just wish I could share my experience with others.

Long story short: There's a girl in my class* who has the exact same acne as I did. A young woman with hormonal nodulocystic acne. I feel really bad for her, because I remember the pain and itch and embarassment of it. She wears a ton of make-up to cover it up, but with skin that bad, I KNOW almost nothing works.

I want to talk to her about my experiences with trying different things, but I don't know how she would react to it. I know some people get really offended by others offering solutions (usually terrible advice, like 'stop eating chocolate') and I don't want to come across as snobby or know-it-all.

I really do believe she would benefit from a similar regimen as mine (I switched BC pills, and got prescriptions for retin-A and Clindasol) Read: Not the exact same regimen, but similar. I'm not a doctor, but I can see she's going through the same chin-cancer horror I did.

Should I just mind my own business or try to help?

*and by class, I mean university, not high-school.

Edited by omi
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This isn't about my experiences with acne, as I got on a proper regimen and am now over six months completely clear. I went from terrible horminal cysts to baby skin and I feel great. I just wish I could share my experience with others.

Long story short: There's a girl in my class* who has the exact same acne as I did. A young woman with hormonal nodulocystic acne. I feel really bad for her, because I remember the pain and itch and embarassment of it. She wears a ton of make-up to cover it up, but with skin that bad, I KNOW almost nothing works.

I want to talk to her about my experiences with trying different things, but I don't know how she would react to it. I know some people get really offended by others offering solutions (usually terrible advice, like 'stop eating chocolate') and I don't want to come across as snobby or know-it-all.

I really do believe she would benefit from a similar regimen as mine (I switched BC pills, and got prescriptions for retin-A and Clindasol) Read: Not the exact same regimen, but similar. I'm not a doctor, but I can see she's going through the same chin-cancer horror I did.

Should I just mind my own business or try to help?

*and by class, I mean university, not high-school.

First of all I think it's very kind of you to even consider helping another person under these circumstances. Your thread is uplifting and I think you SHOULD try and help her. May I suggest becoming her friend and by that I mean sincerely being a friend to this girl, and somewhere along the way you will find an opportunity to share your idea in a positive manner leaving her feeling cared for. After all, by this point she would have already valued your friendship.

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I think it's sweet too that you'd actually be concerned enough both to confront the person and to want to avoid any hard feelings; most people assume a sense of superiority when presenting stupid advice to acne sufferers.

It kind of depends on both of you though. If she's not a social animal, it might end up making things awkward. I think you've probably got to take things slow. Also, I wouldn't try talking to her about it within range of other people, but at the same time, you don't want to act like her shoulder or her counselor. You just want to be a friend who cares.

This probably doesn't help you much :P. Good luck anyway!

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I think it's sweet too that you'd actually be concerned enough both to confront the person and to want to avoid any hard feelings; most people assume a sense of superiority when presenting stupid advice to acne sufferers.

It kind of depends on both of you though. If she's not a social animal, it might end up making things awkward. I think you've probably got to take things slow. Also, I wouldn't try talking to her about it within range of other people, but at the same time, you don't want to act like her shoulder or her counselor. You just want to be a friend who cares.

This probably doesn't help you much :P. Good luck anyway!

"You just want to be a friend who cares."

Exactly

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I actually met one of my best friends in a similar situation. When I was a freshman at college, I met a girl through a club and we became friends first. She was a jr and driving me back to the dorms after dinner when she started talking about her skin problems with acne. She was super casual about it. My initial reaction was complete shock and a bit of anger then embarrassment. This was mainly because I didn't think she could relate to me since her skin seemed pretty good to me. I've had acne problems since 6th grade and my oily skin is rarely not on my mind.

Even in college when my skin started getting better I'd always be scared that a bad break out could be around the corner and I was always checking hour to hour to make sure my skin didn't look too oily which it easily gets. Anyways, she just talked while she drove and I found myself really relating to her. For instance, when our skin gets dry from using medication to the point where it's hard to smile and it feels like you're wearing a mask. We started talking and talking and I found out she'd been struggling for a long time too. We joked over a bunch of stuff and talked about everything.

This was the first time anyone ever brought up the topic of skin with me that wasn't a insult. We genuinely related to each other and we pretty much bonded over acne talk.

Anyways, it was awesome to find someone who you could talk to candidly about an issue that is on your mind all the time. She was the first person I could relate to in that way without feeling shameful or embarrassed.

Sorry this is so long but I think it's so great you want to help someone or just be there for them. I know when I had bad break outs in college, I didn't want to go out much less meet anyone. I just didn't want to be judged. Finding someone for the first time to talk about such an emotionally private yet VERY public problem made me feel less alone during that time.

I'd try to be her friend first... maybe start by asking her to study with you sometime. I really think you should befriend her. Just having one person relate to you in such a painful matter can really make a huge difference.

Edited by Lilypaddd
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