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Just felt like talking ranting a bit.. Lately i've been suffering from extreme anxiety and depression. I've never ever been to a doctor for this before, and never been on meds. I've delt with depression on and off before throughout my life, but this time, its just controlling my life.. Its been 5 years since I took accutane and had acne, and ive been clear since, but im just extremely depressed and im not sure the exact reason, and its just a tough situation for me. I miss the acne days :(. When I took accutane and had bad acne back then, yeah I was extremely depressed throughout the whole process, I used to cry alot back then, atleast a few times a week. But it never controlled me, I worked a fulltime job back then and performed well with that and graduated highschool. after that, I went 3 and a half years without crying 1 single time, even though I got depressed on and off.

Last year everything went great for once, I graduated college, was a straight A student, moved out, and worked a few different jobs, all of which came at the right time, I even got promoted at 1 job. Since I graduated college, not sure the exact reason, but i've been having extreme depression problems, where unlike in the past, this time it just prevents me from fully living. i'm just not fully focused, I feel over whelmed and like i can't do anything at times, im distracted, and i feel like if i was in school still, i'd fail out because i just dont have that same focus and drive that i once had, and i have no motivation anymore. I only work part time now and even thats too much for me atm.

I've had alot of bad breaks throughout life, and since i graduated college, nuthing went right. I had 2 bad relationships that really hurt me, theres just no jobs out there and its just tough to get started. I'm afraid to seek help, because i landed 1 career in law enforcement right now that im going through a recruitment process for.They do a thurough check on everything, and if they find out im going to a counselor/on medications for depression, it can cost me a career. I used to be a hard worker and managed a business when I was only 18,and always felt i was capable and deserving of any job, now im just so dead from depression i dont feel i can work hard anymore and i dont feel like im even worthy of this career. And even worse, if this career doesnt happen for me, if i fail any of the recruitment steps or just flat out dont get in due to economy or other reasons, theres nothing else out there for me right now. i'm 22, and i worked so hard last yr, only to graduate to nothing, and on top of that get my heart broken 2 more times.

Ahh thats my rant. I really wish i could be the depressed 17 yr old kid with acne i once was, cuz atleast then i dint have the pressure of getting my life started, and atleast then my depression somehow wasn't holding me back like it is now.

Edited by thEneXtChaPter

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OP you should consider going on antidepressant medication. I was always strongly against it for some reason but I started taking it recently and it's helped somewhat significantly with my depression and anxiety, although it is by no means a cure. It's just a supplement.

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I know it's way harder to get the motivation to do this when you're depressed, but how is your lifestyle?

Exercise significantly reduces depression, and a nutrient rich diet is also essential for a properly functioning brain and mental health. People tend to think that mental health problems and the brain are just completely separate entities from the rest of the body, but it is an organ that is affected by these things just as much as anything else - just like the skin.

There are plenty of documented cases of people with all ranges of mental health problems making complete turnarounds with better nutrition and some supplementation.

Niacin therapy is one thing that comes to mind for depression, look into it.

Good luck my friend, I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time.

Edited by Tangerine

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hey you are very young to have this terrible depression, lucky you that you have clear skin i just think that if i had clear skin i would be the happiest girl on earth and live my life to the fullest. i don´t understand what is your problem because i mean before i think you had everything you want it, good grades, a job etc. you need to calm down first and change things for a better life.

you need help, go to a doctor or who ever that can help you with your self esteem. you are too young to be feeling this way. i´m sorry but i can´t help you neither anybody in this forum. you need to help yourself and try to look at the world in a positive way.

everytime i´m depressed, this is what i do, i do things that i like, i write stories, i listen to music, i watch videos on the internet etc. you need to do things that would distract your mind. hang out with friends it´s very good and healthy to laugh with your friends, laughter is the best medicine ;)

just think that everything would be fine and eveything has a solution you are too young you got alot of live and learn.

about the relationships that you have with your lovers? well, people who hurt you they are not worth a penny and i know is hard because it happened to me before but we have to move on baby, we can´t sit on a bed and cry all day for someone who hurt our hearts, they are not worth a penny, love and be with those you love you and who make you smile everyday.

everything would be fine, just be glad you have everything that other people would wish to have, you are healthy, you are smart etc. just focus on your stuffs, focus on your career cause if you don´t study or work you are going to get lost in this big world, you need to learn to stand for yourself.

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I think my lifestyle is whats causing depression. Last year my life was very busy, I was always either at work or school, and when I was home I was always studying.. there were times I'd shut my phone off just to shut myself out from the outside world just so I could study.. I was never a great student for my whole life up until last yr, so everytime i'd study hard and get A after A it would really lift me up and get me going.. I work out alot, but when im depressed its just so hard to workout, and every weight I lift just feels 10x heavier when im depressed.

I think im depressed because last yr was really busy i was always doing something, and now this year is the complete opposite, my life is so slow right now and im home alone in my apartment everyday, with the same friends coming over at night. everyday is the same. and the 2 relationships that hurt me, just made me feel like i'll never be happy. I'm 22, i accomplished alot, i have alot of money saved up, a college degree with a good gpa, a potential career on the way, but i've just never ever been happy.. Everytime i wanted something, i never got it. Every girl i set my heart on always broke it, there was 1 career i really wanted that i worked hard for, and had it slip away when i thought i had it.. This career im going for now, i didnt even want this, i just stumbled upon it and got lucky, and cant seem to get motivated to get into gear for this.

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U could do therapy and NOT get anti depression medications. Law enforcement jobs are all about self help, and im sure if you explained your reasoning for therapy, they wouldn't care...being on medications might be a different story, but unless the shrink thinks you're in immediate danger, you can always turn those down

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I hit severe depression last year. Not going to go into details, but some stuff happened in my life and I felt lost in life.

Anyways, I know how it feels. You don't want to wake up everyday. YOu just wan to lay in bed. All you do is look forward to sleeping so you can escape reality. Hell, I couldn't even brush my teeth some days. The mind is truly a powerful thing, and when you are depressed, you really are inable to function.

All I can say is time heals all wounds. Everyone goes through depression, you're not the only one! I know your reading all these responses and your DEPRESSION is making you think "don't listen to these guys, it's all cliche." That's your depression talking. Don't let it get to you.

Proclamation goes a long way. Even though you aren't really feeling good, tell yourself "I'm not depressed, I'm not depressed."

YOu have to fight it yourself, no one is going to beat it for you. That's why depression is so hard because it's truly something you gotta deal with by yourself!

But let me tell you something, after you beat it, you're going to be on top of the world! "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - this statement is SO TRUE!

Trust me, I was in the same boat. Everyone has different problems. I am fortunate to have great friends who stood by me and kept reinforcing positive stuff, but I would say "blah, whatever"

But they were right! Everything's going to be okay, I promise.

Stay around positive people, and keep your self away from negative people. Start running outside or doing physical activity. Get your diet right.

Mind, Body, Spirit - all are universal.

Also, it feels good getting things done! Get a job, get a new hobby. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Gain self-respect.

Don't take anti-depressants. I mean, it's pretty obvious that pharmaceuticals (accutane) helped get you into this shape. Don't fall for the pharm's business initiatives to get them richer. You don't need a pill to fight his.

I know it's hard, but trust me, you'll get through it and you're going to be a much stronger human being!

Hopefully my post helps. Before I hit depression, I thought it was a joke. But after I dealt with it and fought it off, I know how serious the condition is and have sympathy for people who go through it. So, I'm not talking out the ass, just really trying to help!

I was literally a bum for 6 months, even suicidal at some points. But now I have a great job, I sleep early everyday, eat a great diet, stay away from drugs, etc.

You gotta put in work!

Have faith! Good luck.

Edited by recoverme

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Its just tough to go on. Today I was so depressed all day, i took a sleeping pill and fell asleep a few hours in the afternoon, when my friend was over. And I woke up late in the day to begin with. Its bad, and just a shame. Ive been in and out of depression my whole life, but never like this, I just feel like quitting, theres absoultely no fight in me what so ever right now. I hate to sound stupid but its because of bad relationships that im depressed.

The past 2 years of my life were tough, i had ALOT of heart break. Last yr everything went so right for once in my life I finally thought things were clicking. And just when things couldnt be anymore right, I met a girl who I thought was the greatest girl ever. Things were so good then ended so badly outta no where a month later. then a month after that I met another girl, we dated a few months but it was an up and down relationship, then ended with me getting dumped during the holidays. And to make things tougher, she still talks to me everyday, because she wants to remain friends and wants to still see me and stuff, but its tough because i still have feelings for her even though i know we cant be together anymore.

Im just so depressed because i just feel i was never happy, and never got the chance to be happy, i have too many heart breaks in my lifetime and i cant take it anymore. Like i graduated college only to not find another job, and just be depressed the whole time. This was supposed to be the happy time in my life, and its not. By this time next yr i might have a career which is what i always wanted, but now im scared because thats it, childhood officially over without any happyness, and now on to the adult world. and im scared because i have no motivation or drive in me, and the academy that comes with this law enforcemen career is pretty tough, and i cant go in there like this.

I just need a spark to get me going.

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there are treatment centers for depression

The Life Healing Center in Santa Fe, or Sierra Tucson in Arizona.

I started to look into them after i fought my eating disorder on my own.

With insurance and $$ saved up they can be a good option. Help can be good. structured, concentrated help. I am trying school now, and only taking 2 classes. (for the record I wanted to go to a residential treatment center for depression MONTHS ago but therapists decided against that... they are dumb..)

I am trying to see friends more, and really focousing on "feeling my feelings" (Its what they taught me in the 3 wks I was at eating disorder therapy). Good or bad, we got our human emotions and blocking them up can lead to some nasty stuff....

But yeah even now, I am able to brush my teeth and have somewhat of a consistent schedule and the suicidal thoughts are leaving somewhat, but I still feel like a shell of a human being sometimes...

Oh, another thing that you could try besides anti-depressants (every single one made me sick in some way...so that I was depressed AND nauseous/fatigued/twitchy....UGH) is these dietary supplements from neuroscienceinc.com. I have just recently gotten back on them, and they make a WORLD of a difference for me. You need a dr. to do a test to see what ones you need but you can always order them online, too... I found a website that sells the legit pills yay

a little life talk:

maybe if you have no motivation thats alright :)

I wanted, felt that i was destined to be, a visual artist since I was 11. Yes I was talented, yes I was driven, but after the eating disorder is now gone I am seeing that I in no way want to be doing art -- at all. I am at art school now, but am slowly walking away from it, doing the least amount of work possible. (hehe)

I just remember getting all the amazing grades, working my ASS off to get so many opportunities, but I was so unhealthy and miserable inside that none of it mattered. And i can see it in some people/artists, too. They work so much that they loose their balance and end up really unhappy.

I am def not there yet, but I am hoping simpler can be better.

I am hoping that exploring a different career, something that doesnt give me a panic attack will help my happiness (holding out hope that I am not going to be flawed wherever I go, but that lining up with my passion can be, of help)

its okay to rest, take it easy and let what we want come about naturally

at least thats my new philosophy

I will let a know if its working in 5 years!! but so far i like it :)

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