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Just a heads-up, this is probably going to be short, choppy, cheesy, and the generic "I don't like this" post. I'm sorry, just as a heads-up.

I'm a 16-year-old boy in High School. A Junior.

When I was younger, around 13-y.o., my family and my everyone would compliment me on my... everything. My skin was "beautiful", I had "super long eyelashes", I was "the perfect height", whatever.

I was only 13 at the time; I hadn't gone through the "change" yet. I took the compliments, and I felt really good about myself. My life was... just awesome. I was outgoing, I was fun, I was myself.

Then I actually hit puberty. (Er, well. That's vague, because I was going through puberty for a while, but the acne was a late effect.)

My life was turned upside down.

From then to now, here's a list of how my life's been changed by acne: (positive bolded, negative regular)

- I have horrible, horrible self-esteem. I know I'm a good person on the inside, but I know that no one looks at the "inside" first. No matter where I go, or what I do, I always feel like everyone's looking at my nose, or my forehead. I just want to have an actual life, like all the other teenagers my age. Every person at my high-school, and every person I know has just about flawless skin (boy OR girl). I'm literally the only one I've seen that has acne. I know this'll sound crazy, but I can just feel people staring at me (, not ME. My acne.). This leads me to constantly look down, and avoid eye contact. I've even screwed up my posture from constantly looking down. How pathetic is that? Can't I have a break?

- I can't stand to make eye contact. At all. I can't even make eye contact with my own parents. Do you know how sad that is? It really hurts that I can't even look my own mother in the eyes, because I'm ashamed of how I look. Whenever I talk to anyone, friend, adult, stranger, I always look down, or look the other way, and I just look strange. In my drama class last year, we had an exercise where we had to look our partner directly in the eye (hard to explain), and my "best friend" looked at me in the eye, and burst out laughing, and called me "Rudolph". You don't know how bad I felt that I couldn't even look my "best friend" in the eye without even HER laughing. I don't even know HOW to make eye contact for more than 2 seconds anymore.

- I feel like I'm missing out on life. I'm supposed to ENJOY my high-school/teenage years, right? Why can't I? I've lied to my friends when they've asked me to go out, just so I could stay home and not be seen. I feel so guilty, because I've probably hurt other people around me, just because I'm selfish and don't "want to be seen". Whenever anyone pulls out a camera for ANY occasion, I run off (sometimes literally).

- I'm not extremely shallow, and I try to be a more understanding person. I know how it feels to hold yourself back, to know you could do more, but not let yourself. I honestly do my best not to be superficial and shallow; I try to get to know people, no matter what they look like. Although I do sometimes stray from this "tolerance", I do my best to be a "good person".

I'm sorry for ranting, but it's getting harder and harder to "just hang in there". I don't contemplate suicide, nor would I ever, but I just want to live the life I know I'm missing out on.

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Aight first...it's fucked up that your friend laughed at you and called you "rudolph". However, if she really is your best friend, she probably didn't realize how much it affected you, and you definitely should have told her.

Dude, your 16...need I say more? If acne is the worst thing that ever happens to you, then you're the luckiest person on this Earth. You HAVE to do two things: 1. Get on some track to fix your acne (see a derm, try acne.org regimen, multivitamins) and 2. Just live life homie. REALITY CHECK: Thousands of adolescents your age suffer from terminal illnesses where they are stuck in a hospital until they die before they are 18. Life is too short to let your acne affect you that much. Look people in the eye, go out and try to lose your virginity :razz: . If people care about your acne then thats their problem, just know they someday your acne will be gone and that they're assholes. BUT it's unfair of you to presume that all people judge you by the acne you suffer from. So don't do it.

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Hey bro, It's easy to relate to your story, countless times I have been Rudolph at your age. The trick is to keep on going, though I admit this is hard, especially in your age. When I look back to those days I had to rely on other personal qualities like my charm, humour and other things since I was not that pretty boy anymore. All that shit didn't keep me from living though. Yes I felt bad a lot of the time, but at the same time I had the hottest chicks. Actually, I managed to kiss one the prettiest girls in my social group while having this big red unit on my nose (not to mention my severely scarred cheeks). What I'm trying to say is; you can too damnit! Don't focus just on your appearance but go improve your personality ;)

Further on, take comments like 'you should enjoy your teenage years' and 'those days are the best of your life' with a grain of salt. Ofcourse you should enjoy these days, but so should you enjoy your entire life. These days are special because you'll be doing a lot of new things as you are growing up, like having sex, drinking alcohol and going to parties etc.. Unless you decide so, life will not stop being fantastic and you'll have plenty of time left to enjoy life without acne ;)

Wish you the best

Edited by Ish

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