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SurferGirl656

Skin is way better but more depressed than ever

RANT AHEAD WARNING

i am so friccin sick of being compared to people! by people i mean my older brother who is with no exaggeration perfect at like everything he does. hes a pilot in the air force, earns lots of money, has a really pretty girlfriend, has lots of friends etc the friccin list goes on. just now i was in the kitchen and accidently dropped a bowl to which my mum said "god, are you shitting me?! you know your brother never did stuff like this!" i feel like nothing i do is good enough and no one even friccin notices me. my mum is so absorbed in her company and working that half the time she doesnt even notice me. i constantly hear "oh is that today?" and "when did you say that?" i swear its like talking to the wall. our house is so tiny i literally cant escape her. i feel like jsut walking out the house and running like forest gump until i run out of road. im so sick of this. i should be happy aswell lately my skin is totally clear and i should feel good about myself, but being constantly told im not good enough and stupid is enough to make me not even care. today i missed school and just lay under my covers staring at the celings. my friends were texting me all day asking were i was but i couldnt even be bothered replying. i mean what was i going to say? none of them understanding anything. i dont think ive ever felt so effin alone. this is the only place that makes me feel welcome at all.

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I know what you mean....My skin is getting better all the time but it's the least of my problems

In my family i'm the perfect one

but I hate my life at the moment.

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I can most certainly relate to how you feel and you are not alone. When i was a child, i was constantly put down by my teachers at school and my mum was having a nervous breakdown so there was no support. Every night i would cry myself to sleep, i was told i would never amount to anything and put in all the bottom sets at school. then i got bullied, got acne, i had no friends and thats when i starting picking my face. I entered a severe depression and would constantly skip school..

Finally I snapped. I brought lots of tech books and studied for fianl exams. I ignored all my teachers comments about my lack of attendence, that i would fail and how i had learning difficulties and guess what? I got top of the year, and all my teachers and my mum were gobsmacked. I am now in university and also one of top inyear!

What i'm trying to say is you got to ignore all the negative things people tell you and ignore all the comparisons you get to your "perfect" brother. Develop a "thicker skin", You may be on your own but you can come out of this stronger than anyone. Don't listen to anyone who puts you down. and there is no greater feeling than proving someone they're wrong.

and your perfect brother's life sounds a bit boring to be honest lol

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yeahh don't worry .. i get compared to my other sibling as well too.. and my mom is a workaholic.. ( 18 hours) a day so when she comes home.. she drops to bed.. and i used to always wait for her before she went to bed so that i could let all my feelings out about how i hate life.. how my ' friends' are soo fake and always use me and shit.. but most importantly i always tell her i hate my skinn and i want accutane and stuff and im so ugly, etc.. but yeah she ignores me and doesn't understand obviously cause im the only one in the family with acne.

when you have acne.. life is EXPENSIVE.. and i feel bad for my parents because acne destroyed my relationship with them. i never talk to them. im always out or in my room and i honestly don't bother telling my mom about how awful my skin makes me feel anymore because really.. no one understands more than you do about what you are going through..

in the end.. don't fret. try your best to live up to your OWN expectations. and don't be too mad at your mom. i feel bad for my parents sometimes for haivng to put up with mee..and honestly be happy you have friends whom you love and love you back. that is a very precious gift. and most importantly enjoy your clear skin ;]

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