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iRyRy

Wanting To Go Back In Time

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It really feels like I have completely changed mentally after taking accutane. I don't know who I am anymore. When I talk to people, it just feels like sound. When I'm thinking to myself, I feel slower, and I don't feel the same. I'm 90% sure the culprit is accutane. I'm now constantly obsessed with the thought of going back in time and not taking it. I understand it's impossible, but it kind of makes me happy in a way. It makes me think like I CAN go back in time. The normal me would self motivate, and tell myself "live in the now", but from my current perspective, I just can't get over it. It doesn't matter how mentally strong I am, it's always going to be there. I'm not me...

I sometimes manage to think "life must go on", but what the hell... I'm a human being. Regret is completely normal. The thought that I'm going to go through the rest of my life, living as a different person, a person that is significantly slower... "fuck it" pretty much sums it up.

How do I go through my life knowing I have change mentally for the worse? Is it wrong for me to be obsessed with wanting to redo life? Is it wrong to feel regret?

Edited by iRyRy

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Indeed. Accutane can be a bitch. I haven't taken it, but one of my friends has and she had some terrible side effects, many mental. I'm sorry Accutane has affected you this way. First you had to deal with acne, now this? It's not wrong to feel regret for starting Accutane, but don't blame yourself for what has happened. It's not your fault.

Note that one of the side effects of Accutane is depression. Please go talk to your doctor.

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Yeah, like Magdish said, you should go talk to your doctor. Are you sure there might not be something in your life that makes you depressed or something? Sometimes it's easy to blame accutane for everything, but the truth is there are a lot of other possibilities.

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Yeah, like Magdish said, you should go talk to your doctor. Are you sure there might not be something in your life that makes you depressed or something? Sometimes it's easy to blame accutane for everything, but the truth is there are a lot of other possibilities.

My life is completely fine right now. I have almost no stress at all. I'm not necessarily "depressed", the only time I'm sad is when I realize I'm not myself anymore. It's not depression, it's just that something changed in my brain chemistry. I'm going to get an MRI and I'm visiting a neurologist, but I'm doubtful they'll be able to cure this.

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Time can heal a lot of things, and it's probable that you'll feel more "yourself" as time goes on. I'm sorry you're going through this- I understand what it's like to want to go back with the knowledge you have now and do things differently. It can become an obsession, be careful. I've spent a lot of time feeling bad- and now I feel like I want those years back, and do things differently. But if I'm not careful I'll spend many more years just wishing for something that can never be, and regret those years as well.

Take care!

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It's hard to get past something that's affecting your life in such a dramatic way. If I was born this way, it wouldn't be a problem, but to be turned into this... I feel empty in side, my emotions are shot. At least a year ago I felt sad about my acne. Now I feel nothing at all... I keep looking at my old pictures and I feel like I want to reach out and grab myself and give myself advice about the decision to come.

I'm about to go through medical tests. And considering this just happened, I am granting myself time to feel regret and sorrow. I need to let it all out before I can try to get past it.

And the most saddening part about this, is I've been fighting shit for too long. First, as puberty started I got anxiety. Then the acne started, so I was fighting that, now I try to cure my acne and I get a malfunctioning brain... wow.

I wish I would have waited it out. My acne would have most likely passed. Now my skin is fucking sensitive and dry and just plane fucked. Fuck... fuck... fuck.. fuckk.fukcskdhgaskfdgbfdg,mafdgbshfkybkrdthygsdhgmlhfdgfh,mnvdhvc,nvcnlcunuhjdih

gkfdkfdhg

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