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ipodblack

Don't care about her acne scars except..

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This is probably a typical story with acne suffers but I'm friends with a girl who has moderate-severe acne scars. We happened to meet in college as we both have the same classes.

We get along awesome and hang out after school quite often whether its at the mall or my apartment.

I have a nagging issue which I don't know how to handle with her as I don't want to come off insulting.

The problem is sometime when I see her she seems to not apply her makeup on properly.

I know scars can hinder the application process but to me it just looks way off.

Frankly I wouldn't care if she wore any makeup because she looks great aside from some of her deeper scars. Most of the time I don't even notice the scars on her but I'm just worried if she really knows that her makeup looks distracting.

Is there a way I can talk to her without making it seem like I'm pointing out her flaws?

Thanks

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Are you talking about me? No you couldn't be as I don't have any friends. :razz:

Just say look bitch wipe off your makeup and let me show you how it's really done.

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Are you talking about me? No you couldn't be as I don't have any friends. :razz:

Just say look bitch wipe off your makeup and let me show you how it's really done.

Wow and this won't be emotionally scarring or anything. If she had bad acne I'm sure she already suffered the psychological effects of it. If you even mention it you might hurt her feelings. If some guy said that to me I'd definitely tell him to get out.

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How about telling her she's naturally beautiful and she doesn't need any makeup? (Not that there's anything wrong with makeup, it can be a great confidence booster)

If she still insists on wearing makeup just say something like "Okay, but you're perfect just the way you are"

Be a good friend and don't hurt her feelings.

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How about telling her she's naturally beautiful and she doesn't need any makeup? (Not that there's anything wrong with makeup, it can be a great confidence booster)

If she still insists on wearing makeup just say something like "Okay, but you're perfect just the way you are"

Be a good friend and don't hurt her feelings.

I agree with Greengurl! I think your friend is clearly wearing make-up as she is self-conscious about her scars and trying to hide them and so you need to be sensitive with how you choose to approach the subject (if you decide it's a good idea).

Another idea- perhaps the brand of base/powder she is using isn't very good and that is what's causing the problem? I swear by Max Factor (Facefinity + Permawear) compact foundation. It applies like a powder and hides pimples pretty well. It's also non acnegenic and doesnt tend to rub off. I've also heard good things about bare minerals.

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Since I'm a guy I don't know anything about makeup but I know enough to know the way she is applying it doesn't look natural.

I'm just more worried about how others perceive her when we're out together.

I don't think I would be able to convince her to go out without makeup considering she wears it everyday even to class.

It sounds like I'm nitpicking but honestly this has been bugging me and its doesn't help that I'm semi-OCD. I'm just afraid if I try to talk about this with her might be awkward and hurtful.

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How about telling her she's naturally beautiful and she doesn't need any makeup?

I agree with this.

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It sounds like I'm nitpicking but honestly this has been bugging me and its doesn't help that I'm semi-OCD. I'm just afraid if I try to talk about this with her might be awkward and hurtful.

Just let it be. Makeup application is not something you want to lose a friendship over. :D People can be very sensitive about their appearance so maybe it's best to leave that topic alone.

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Yeah, your concern might be justified, but it's probably best to just let it be... it does suck feeling like you can't help a friend, though.

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I'm just more worried about how others perceive her when we're out together.

what do u mean??

i can sorta see what u mean when u say its distracting but u just gotta see her for who she is, eventually she will learn to fix her makeup application but its not ur place to point it out, girls r uber sensitive especially when it comes to somehting like that and she will rip ur head off my friend.

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If you are worry how other people will look at her when she is WITH YOU, then get a life, leave her alone, that you dont have to worry any werid lookers.

If just as a friend who you just wish to remind her because you think she will look even prettier when she applys MU properly, let her know without speaking/ words.

Example: trying applying MU one your face which obuviously seems to gone wrong, that she might pick up the image and reminder that "hey Mu needs to be put on properly or esles it wouldnt looks good, i will make sure i will do mine properly." This is call silent communication, cos i suppose no matter how you tell her, if she is sensitive and self conscious which most likely we are, forget about "reminding" her.

No matter what tone or tactic will hurts ultimately.

And seriously if all dont work, why dont just be happy for her? Like one people stated here, if she is happy with it why would others want to bother? See pass let things be. Somehow you might be grateful that messy MU is better than naked face. Is as good as somethings is better left unknown right.

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If you are worry how other people will look at her when she is WITH YOU, then get a life, leave her alone, that you dont have to worry any werid lookers.

This.

OP, how would you feel if your friend started critiquing the way you styled your hair or the clothes you liked to wear because she was concerned about what people might think when the two of you were together?

If you're her friend, be her friend for exactly who she is, and that includes the way she does her makeup. Don't try to change her. ; )

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If you are worry how other people will look at her when she is WITH YOU, then get a life, leave her alone, that you dont have to worry any werid lookers.

This.

OP, how would you feel if your friend started critiquing the way you styled your hair or the clothes you liked to wear because she was concerned about what people might think when the two of you were together?

If you're her friend, be her friend for exactly who she is, and that includes the way she does her makeup. Don't try to change her. ; )

I can see your point except it's embarrassing when my friends are hanging out with me and telling me that my female friend's face looks bad or they crack some jokes about it.

It puts me in an awkward situation where I have to tell them to shut up about it.

Like I said I think she's cute but I'm always concerned about how my friends, family, strangers perceive her when they see her face.

Don't get me wrong as I know what it feels like to have had acne. Its the worst inconvenience in the world. Thankfully I've seem to have outgrown it and having a strict regimen doesn't hurt either.

I feel like if I can't communicate to her or be blunt about her makeup then I should just stop seeing her. We're friends but she knows I like her more than a friend. I doubt I would be able to insult her by bringing this up even though it bugs the heck out of me.

We still hang out and see each other in class but this is seriously an issue I can't seem to get over.

I know how I could be viewed as a jerk but I'm honestly not like that. Just more of OCD kicking in.

Hopefully I'll find another girl if this relationship doesn't work out.

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the awkwardness you feel when with other friends or family with this girl is embarrassment. You are embarrassed of your 'friend'. You should consider whether this girl deserves someone like you.

Oh and nice getting over the 'inconvenience' of acne. Surely if only we all just perfected a regimen we would be clear like you. Some of us just don't know how to keep clean..

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Hopefully I'll find another girl if this relationship doesn't work out.

Wow, you really care about her huh <_<

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This might sound immature but I decided it would be best just to send my friend an e-mail outlining my concerns. I made it quite lengthy as it included a number of different things about our friendship.

I made sure to be as direct to the point as possible without being over bearing in the way I worded certain points that I wanted her to understand.

I even told her I was too scared to tell her everything face to face.

I hope she understands and isn't mad at me.

And yes I was completely honest with my feelings and if it backfires then I'll just move on.

Its not like she's the only girl out there!

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Way harsh, and not a little bit selfish. Way to risk making her feel like shit, just so you can feel better. It's nice that you put her feelings and self-image on the line, when you're just completely ready to move on and leave her feeling like crap if she doesn't take it well. Why didn't you just do that in the first place and spare her?

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Arent you the one who said you would never date a girl with acne and actually had the balls to talk about your dates skin and recommend her products on the first date? And now youve found a girl that you like, who has acne, but youre embarrassed to be seen with her.

I think youre the problem here, you like to nit pick at every little thing about your potential significant other. Are you even ready to be in a relationship?

She should be embarrassed to be seen with you, not the other way around.

Edited by SkinBeingaDouchebag

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Poor girl. I'll be surprised if she even bothers to reply or speak to you again! Some friend. Sorry if that sounds judgemental, but you did ask for opinions. IMO if you HAD to say something, then sending someone an email is the coward's way.

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