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This is my first time opening up about my issue with acne. I have always bottled it up inside because the people around me never suffered from acne. They don't understand how I feel. I decided to turn to you guys because you probably understand.

I am twenty years old and I have suffered from acne since I was eleven. It was bad and still is although I do admit it probably did get a bit better. Ever since I started getting acne, I feel like I have zero self esteem. Friends, strangers, boyfriend, family, they would all put me down as if I don't already feel like shit. People would make fun of me, make mean remarks about my acne or offer "advice."

I was never considered pretty or anything along those lines. I feel insecure enough as it is because I find myself unattractive. To top that off, I have acne as well as scars / red marks. It's an ongoing battle that I assume I would have to live with for quite a while. My parents and relatives suffered from adult acne and I can only assume I got those genes as well. I don't know what I am exactly trying to say but there are times where I wish I wasn't alive. It's quite depressing.

*Sigh* I still remember when I was eleven wishing for my skin to clear up. Now I basically have given up on the thought of clearing up, it seems impossible. It would be easier for me to deal with if there weren't so many idiots who keep asking stupid questions such as, "Why do you have so much pimples?" or, "What do you use? You should stop eating junk food and drink more water. Try washing your face more." As if I need their fucking advice, I have tried basically everything and nothing works. So, thanks for pointing out something I already fucking know. As if I wasn't already fucking aware that I have acne on my face or scars on my face.

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Friends, strangers, boyfriend, family,

I have neither of those.

You should be careful, if you mention not being alive it's likely the thread will be deleted.

I have had acne since i was like 12 and now im 19 and starting uni, it's hard to see people socializing and shit, I'm usually the outsider anyway so i can deal.

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I am not going to suicide of course. I shouldn't have mentioned that but that was how I felt before.

I have seen my family doctor and a derm. Nothing helped, any topicals I have used either was too harsh for my skin or just did not nothing. I have tried taking medication but that didn't do anything either plus it was getting expensive because it's $100 for about 60 pills. I have been on birth control pills for close to four years now and that doesn't help with my acne at all. I guess it looks bad because I am so pale and I refuse to use foundation or anything to cover it up.

I don't know why it's so hard for me not to care what others think and be happy. =(

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I agree with the no-foundation thing...I know it just makes it worse. I have been using it though because I just started college and I can't imagine having people see all my redmarks all over my cheeks. It gets really frustrating at times and especially when you feel like nothing good is going on in your life, acne seems like it's a giant problem.

I wish dermatologists were really more educated. It's kinda sad really that nobody can figure this crap out. Heck, they can't even diagnose it correctly half of the time.

You're lucky you have friends, family, and a boyfriend as another poster stated. I'm nowhere near my family, I have very few friends at college (like my roomate and that's it) and I can't even begin to imagine having a boyfriend. I shy away from most people I meet mainly because I know they don't know about my issues and I know no one wants to get involved. I don't want to burden someone else with all my baggage and it's almost impossible to make friends without having those shitty days and then they ask you what's wrong or why you don't want to hang out. Even when I'm feeling slightly optimistic and am considering going somewhere, I'll usually find an excuse as to why I shouldn't and even if I feel generally okay, acne will often hold me back. Thinking that maybe I'll be clear soon and delaying activities because of it is a big problem because the more I avoid social situations, the more I feel depressed and no longer feel motivated.

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I have to agree with everyone that has posted. You have to remember your not alone. I know that it seems as though no one knows what your going through; especially if they do not have our problem. Your face doesn't represent the person inside though; love and accept yourself. I'm not saying to just give up, but accept that you have acne and handle it the best you can. One day you'll find what works. Cheycheyenne, your profile pic is very pretty and I'm not trying to make you feel good, your very pretty. You should be more confident. You guys take care. I wish you the best.

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