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Guest pokemonster

thats frikin it! picking shit ends here and right now!! deam yea!

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

so..now with that being said i have no way back right? so if someone of u decides to follow this topic then know: u must totally punish me if i break this! :box::evil:

-----------------------

RULZ:

feel free to call me names all u want in case i ruin this! like absolutelly all u want and the worse the better! bcs i will totally deserve that!

but most important of all what i want u to do is to think of a thing i must do if i loose (similar like in truth or dare game)!

everyone who actually will read this topic can make 1, try to think of something very unpleasant and terrible or very boring to do that would just make me yaaawn to death , i will must do everything! and i will is just that i wont loose this time, noway!

------------------------

i'll try to post about my progress as often as ill remember and give a damn, for a start ill probably try to do so daily, but even if u dont plan follow but still are reading this far, pls at least write 1 penalty task before leave , so i have something to follow, it should be more effective when somebody else sets, bcs my own rules, ill break them much more easily

briefly on this day(doesnt count yet, from tomorrow will):

hold out unexpectedly well actually, bcs was determined as hell, but picked 1 veeery annoying unbearable whitehead tho (btw does occasionally popping like very full whitehead is cheating too or not?) but i could feel that shit and it just wouldnt give me a break whole day..

and another damn thing actually was that picking ocd traveled from face to head, was scratching it as damned (like a monkey now that i think about it :huh: , dumbfrck me..blegh..) for i even dunno what for, must be expression of those my brain chemistry screwups or smthn..but whatev..

----------------------

anyways RULES for me is:

no hands at places where hands mustnt be and dont do what they arent supposed to do! means:

no frckn acne picking! :doh:

no frckn scabbies picking! :angry:

no fuken face touching at all! :mad: (well accidental only allowed, unawared attempt to pick only once, but must stop immediatelly)

& no head touching or scratching as well! :sick::blink::doh:

----------------------

so yea..didnt turn out as briefly as i wanted tho :rolleyes: but don rly care anyways..k then..

& only that..

IM GOING TO GET THAT NORMAL HEALTHY FLAWLESS SKIN!! HELLYESSS! I WILL! :catdance:

Edited by fugleee_dumbBUNNY
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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

went to sleep yesterday awfully late 5am, i think thats why my face is a bit inflammed today, it is said that body/skin healing time during sleep is from 10pm-3am, but i missed it

being very determined (my hands dont rly care about that howev)

have no urge or scratch anything at all, but hating the fact how i cant touch face at all and have to be very aware of hands all the time

thats why will wear gloves all the day (this sucks ofc and not allways even works but just in case, since i just cant trust my own hands anymore uknow, they work absolutely against my brain orders sometimes :| )

it is said u need to endure 21 days for habit to die off completely, i hope this is true, longest i did so far without picking (still touched face and plucked scabbies tho) was a week or so, but this time i plan to go further than that and wipe out this habit forever, lets see how i will do..so day 1

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

my 1st day, how it went (sory for doublepost at same day):

didnt pick at all (will do all stuff before bed quickly and run away from mirrors as quick as possible to not start anything and go to sleep with gloves :ninja: )

had several attempts to scratch scabbz (at moments while gloves were off), punishd that dumbass of a hand with a big punch, then put gloves back and everything was k again, whenever hand approached face, i could immediately feel glove therefor become aware and stop myself (srsly i sometimes feel like somebody is hiding behind some corner behind my back with a remote control of my hands :huh: , wtf exactly is this picking shit? :confused:) so gloves arent all that useless afterall yep..

yesterday i was a bit hyper at mood, today it all died out cos some fugly dumbass was staring at me from mirror, not too much new pimples tho, but feelin pretty dooown..yea :sleep:

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if its true it takes 21 days to break a habbit i will be happy, i am on day 0 as i have picked today and for the past 9 months :(

heeelllpppp :(

ok and for your dare if you break it, you must get a bottle of tomato ketchup and drink it through a straw

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

so guyz im back to update how im doing, idk which day is it now, but i think im doing pretty good as far as it goes for not picking, however it still doesnt stop me from looking like a FAIL :doh:

doing calculations...

..so its like day 6? :confused:

aanyways, how it went up until this now..

IM NOT GONNA LIE HERE OK! i did pick guyz, yes i did..i know i lost, i was all like: haah!! i deff can do this, piece of cake!! but naah..BUT lemme tell u some for excuse k? i had this whitehead shit right on my forhead, right between eyebrows (liek 2nd most annoying place to break out right after nasolabil folds(where ur cheek folds when smiling)) and i wouldnt touch it if only it wouldnt piss me of so much, i could feel it ALL DAY, it itched and pissed me off, so i did it, HOWEVER for a rare case i did it sorta properly, with paper etc so i just HAD TO k?

also I cant seem to control and be very well aware of my hands for the most time, they just crawl up to my face like a spiders and must touch everything like a blindman, i cant wear gloves all the time either, what do i do?

also nr2 those pimple sized blackheads or whatever that junk is called, that shiiiat! so wanna tear them off and apart !and do so very violently! seriously i barely hold myself to not do so..-__-

also nr3 i ate chocolate this evening, and hell it wasnt even raw and even more wasnt even dark chocolate, it was...very processed, artifically flavoured and sugary and milky milky milk chocolate! and it was soo very~ yumeee~! like best thing evr~! ..muahahah i feel evil now :badgrin: *

if its true it takes 21 days to break a habbit i will be happy, i am on day 0 as i have picked today and for the past 9 months :(

heeelllpppp :(

ok and for your dare if you break it, you must get a bottle of tomato ketchup and drink it through a straw

Edited by fugleee_dumbBUNNY
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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

so since ive cut my days due to breaking rules, im now on day 5 and stuff i did today was weird:

i didnt pick at all, didnt pluck or think about doing so, didnt even touch much skin if at all (thats liek the weirdest of all) but shitty thing that i did today was that im totally off the rails with my diet all of a sudden :blink: i was so strict about my diet for so long time (for like year omg, except some celebrations at times but thats trivia) and now lately i crave chocolate, dairy and other forbbiden stuff, and getting it more oftenly >< i just dunno what to do now, its unexpectedly uncontrollable, i ate chocolate today again (whole frickin bar of milk chocolate), drink milk and eat cheese and bread, damn. it was all less or more organic, without syntetic stuffz but still..

now that i have gained some control over my picking madness, now this? wtf i was doing so well with diet, is it like i cant go totally right, must deff screw up at least something? :doh: tats like nowayz!! wtf i gotta be stronger, superstrong tomorrow! :wall:

oh and i forgot 1 thing, i did actually something to face as well just that i was very aware of it and didnt rly wanted to do it but kinda thought i have to, i with tweezers accurately plucked off white top of some whiteheads who were like too ready, i thought: bacteria and all that jaz so yea i guess i lied and this day is totally screwd afterall..

i also hate myself today and hated how i look, for one minute i thought i look pretty ok but then realized it was false light and alot of other downers..so yea just despise myselfz, idk it just cant be helped >_<

plz think of punisment for me someone :sleep:

should i maybe start from day 1 from tomorrow? :think:

Edited by fugleee_dumbBUNNY
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...plz think of punisment for me someone :sleep: ...

An entire post praising yourself for even attempting this? Without any put-downs of yourself.

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY
...plz think of punisment for me someone :sleep: ...

An entire post praising yourself for even attempting this? Without any put-downs of yourself.

ahahah from all the torture possibilites someone rly should have pick something evil like this lol? bcs its gonna be like really~ hard lol!

but ill look in kittyz eyes and that will make me polite and nice and guess ill just have to x)..well somehow..but maybe tomorrow coz today i just caant do this k? *doesnt rly have excuse but just goez and runz away from kittyyy..*

:catdance: :catdance: :catdance:

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY
Good try. :D Keep it up. *cracks whip*

*bows to a master & is being all obedient now*

lol but..bah what can i say then? :shrug: i cant go praising myself nowayz dude, im my own worst enemy, just caant~ :ohno: well how about i just skip the sad and angry stuff and just silently write about todays progress, huh? :shifty:

so day..which one was it again? 6? or maybe 1? u decide ppl..

didnt pick, didnt touch, didnt pluck, like at all! and didnt even thought about it bcs i was frust..i mean happy! about somethng today too much to care so yea..

also had semiproper diet as well (just had a bit less water than should and ate some unsoaked millet (omg noez!! should fear the evil lectinz now! :shock:))

only thing is...that once totally accidently nailstabbed forhead pimple and was at myself like- aargh why uu bi..*hush hush kity is still somewhere near* ..why u bi..autiful person! ahahah..:shifty:

and thats basically it about today, if i must skip angsty stuff, otherwise it would

be alot longer probably lol, so i think i did pretty well with task huh? :rolleyes:

Edited by fugleee_dumbBUNNY
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Another halfway decent attempt. :D Keep it up.

On a serious note, when you are more reasonable with yourself, your mood changes and you can handle things better. Thus the speaking kindly to yourself. ;)

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY
Another halfway decent attempt. :D Keep it up.

On a serious note, when you are more reasonable with yourself, your mood changes and you can handle things better. Thus the speaking kindly to yourself. ;)

watta wise words but i just absolutely hate being reasonable and speak kindly! ;)

*about 5 minutes later*

pheew u guyz just doeznt know what i just wrote and barely stopped myself from posting here, well speak of being reasonable rly <_< (well u deff have special powers to control pplz mindz mr kat :surprised: )

it was like ultimately hateful shit i ever wrote here -___- becauze i was soo mad today at myself and at my looks, but i better not even start, if somebody would read it it would be huge downer even for them deff, bcz it was like worst shit i evr wrote about myself and uglyness -_- good that i stopd myself, i cant be so selfish i know, afterall it could affect other ppl moods as well (thats if somebody would even read but still..bcz u never know ofc)

*puts a shame on self* :sleep:

so what i do with picking?

well guess what? i dont! :surprised: (ididbeatmyselfuptheotherdayforfuglynessthocozimtotallywhackywahahahandnowihavel

iekofficiallegitimatewoundwahahah)

idk which day is, but evr since last post i havent picked anything on my face. and i dont lie, it seems as if my order is stuck in brain somehow and hands keep their distance from there plus i have become really obsessed with washing thoroughly hands before touching face (bacteria jazz ofc) when apply something BUT..

..ofcourse not everything is that smooth (including my face deff lawl), even tho order to not pick and touch face is somehow coded in my brain, my hands still have no rest and just has to touch and pick something! so what they do is they crawl all around face (cept face itself) looking for something pickable and this time its head (i know wtf but i break out even there although i wash hair regularly) and neck (it seems like dumb acne is starting to spread even to there, wtf why btw?), ill try to wear gloves more often tho and then lets see how it goes but i dun rly give a dam about neck tbh, its only face face face face thats in my mind..

now about results from not picking so far

well..meh. since im all for all or nothing its no wow effect for me, personally. i wont decorate anything and rly dont understand how some ppl in their picking threads hype about how their skin heals, wow, awasome etc :huh: im quite meh tbh about results maybe its just my skin that is so slow and cant move its ass, but rly i dont see big deal going on, only that now for a change its not swollen, painful, and super mega red, now its just plain red, well yay! ^_^...:dry:

breakouts are still breaking out, just yea there is less, deff alot less. now i can actually see how many acne i had from just outside bacteria (damn dumbaz..me was picking with unwashed hands (i think now: omgoooood~ :shock: ) and harshly, deeply so no wonders..), but now this shit left is deff internal shit, its mainly whiteheads on jawline spreading to neck (hormonal?) and pimples here and there all over and two simmetrical medium size bumps between cheekbones and ears).

anyways, the other day i was stalkin u ppl on post ur pics thread and thought wow wtf where are ur acne ppl, some (most actually) have like such pretty skin and face features, i thought lucky bastards why tease ppl here, but then i understood that u probably either cured it either makeupd it and that u just wanna look anf feel and show urself pretty for once and that u totally have rights and must do it, because if ur pretty then duh go and show the fck off thats riight! ;D

basicaleee...im soooo fuglee, but wanna be soooooo pretteeee! :ghost:

..and its..day 11?

Edited by fugleee_dumbBUNNY
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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

day 13th? (14th going on right now)

ok so..i dont pick on face right now at all, and that would be good, but my hands are constantly trying to scratch neck and head so idk, maybe i should cut some days off so that it would be more fairly?

anyways, my main trouble right now is diet (its going whacky rly im going easy on myself more and more often lately damn) and sleeping regime, ive had trouble with this for way too long and too many yrs and just lately have been able to correct it a bit but now again its total mess, going to sleep late, sleep too long and then at morning feel pretty terrible, i think this has to do with diet as well.

pls pls think of punishment somebody that i could do and for a future 1, so i could maybe control myself more then!

i need something that i totally wouldnt wanna do therfor would do harder with controling myself so i dont have to do that

a little on my progress on face so far:

it have healed a bit, yes, even pores have shrinked on nose for some reason, and would i have been different person i would probably be happy and excited about it, but since im me and expect no less that FLAWLESS SKIN then im pretty much meh and being actually pretty down about my redmarks, they are like 90% of my face and from all possible tones, from distant u maybe wont see them but come a bit closer..a lill more..and..monstaaaar!!! (well my grandmas allways say like: what! i dont see no acne u have, what u talking about u have beautiful face, u are just dumb! well uknow the blah blah of eldery ppl, ofc i dont listen to that, bcs uknow that saying: dont ever trust ppl over 35 about ur looks lol, no offence to 30ies tho, but yea)

anyhow but yesterday i had an attempt at being happy.

so i woke up and examined my face (well ofcourse) and even tho i hate it i somehow made myself being ok with it for that day and uknow what? i even was pretty confident that day and fine with myself in general so from that i become a bit more free and a bit more happy than usual. i thought thats great because if im gonna start focus on positve and try to be positive more and more it will help my face too, but..

if there is such guy as god, then i swear he is mocking me.

so i was all confident and kind of happy from that, basically finally had a positive attitude for a change, and then at some point of the day i happened to be at elevator. i was alone. there was a mirror, and it even wouldnt be nothing, because what i saw + my positive mindset of that day = i thought: its ok, its not that bad, its healing up, its gonna be good. cheer up u emo! and so i did.

but then next floor person entered. -_- person was girl with, i swear, the perfectest skin ever! i dont even exaggerate, it was so FLAWLESS!! it wasnt even ur regular ppl skin that we are usually envy for it was FLAWLESS like FLAWLESS! & she didnt have makeup (duh doesnt even need that shit with such FLAWLESS skin), she had absolutely clear, healthy, like untouched ever skin! plus a little redness on cheeks from cold weather, it looked so healthy~!!! i was like omfg :shock: , she was like wtf :huh: (y u stare at me fugly weirdo probably lol), and then i looked back at mirror and duh all the confidence, positiveness, attempts at being happy, blah etc crushed, crushed to dust. by the end of the day was down, sad, depressd, well usual stuff again...

lesson i got from this: trying to be positive about stuff ur not supposed to be positive doesnt rly work, its all bs :doubt: ..so im back at being negative. and all i have in my mind is FLAWLESS SKIN!

so a game for u: count how many times i said FLAWLESS, first winner gets imaginary FLAWLESS skin and a cookie! :banana:

Edited by fugleee_dumbBUNNY
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Good try. :D Keep it up. *cracks whip*

*bows to a master & is being all obedient now*

lol but..bah what can i say then? :shrug: i cant go praising myself nowayz dude, im my own worst enemy, just caant~ :ohno: well how about i just skip the sad and angry stuff and just silently write about todays progress, huh? :shifty:

so day..which one was it again? 6? or maybe 1? u decide ppl..

didnt pick, didnt touch, didnt pluck, like at all! and didnt even thought about it bcs i was frust..i mean happy! about somethng today too much to care so yea..

also had semiproper diet as well (just had a bit less water than should and ate some unsoaked millet (omg noez!! should fear the evil lectinz now! :shock:))

only thing is...that once totally accidently nailstabbed forhead pimple and was at myself like- aargh why uu bi..*hush hush kity is still somewhere near* ..why u bi..autiful person! ahahah..:shifty:

and thats basically it about today, if i must skip angsty stuff, otherwise it would

be alot longer probably lol, so i think i did pretty well with task huh? :rolleyes:

You shouldint punish yourself, just instead of focusing on your skin....focus on typing properly...

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY
You shouldint punish yourself, just instead of focusing on your skin....focus on typing properly...

lmao! but uknow im gonna take it as punishment tho! xD so with next sentence i have to type everything all proprlY!! xDD

so i'll be typing properly this post now as well as cut off 4 days of my current progress, because i feel like i need punishment, i shall tell why

basically how i did so far, and now it's day..26? - 4 = day lol 22 rly really? noo i don't really feel like acomplished it this much so - 2 another days = i'm on day 20 (now it's more fair i think lol) anyways!!

so yeah i guess i'm like really out of insane picking madness that i was at afterall, however it really isn't all going as smooth as i wanted and i'm like really ashamed of that >_<

but then again i also know that it's not easy for all you other ppl people too so i maybe shouldn't be so arrogant with thinking like: i can do this in one day, piece of cake bahahah, because to be honest i really felt like that at the beginning :rolleyes:

soo what i want to tell is that..

even though i so far (26 days) i really havent picked like mad

(i used to pick harshly, all over face, without precautions, until every smallest bump or blackhead or even just blocked pore is popped out almost every single day, every night for from 1 till even more hours, and if just simply pick at least something then it was every single damn day for like effing 8 years)

i honestly don't trust myself just yet (and suggest to don't you too), because i have had attempts at stopping picking before, and even with good results (even week long) but did start picking suddenly again, and i think it's very similar to other addictions at some point as well, like you can do pretty well with controlling it but then it is enough with only little slack off and you are back again where you were..anyways...

where did i go wrong that i need punishment again..

well yeah yeah, i did pick, i actually picked 3 times, 3 pimples and 2 of them was very close to face and one even on forhead (they were veeery annoying and ready though but ditch those excuses) >_< also i pretty often have attempts to touch face, i stop them immediately though but still i can't forgive even such reflex like action

(i'm determined to stop this as well, today i did really well, to be more exact didn't do it at all, but from tomorrow that's it! :mad: )

also can't help but pluck off scabbies from neck..

..oh and omg oh my god..the diet! it's going up and down, up and down, and more down then up lately, i'm screwing it up more and more lately >_< so i really need one big punishment on that one!

^ so all of that is why i need punishment, i did cut off 6 days and i think that maybe should do it? because you see if i start from very beginning again, like day 1, i dont think i'll be able to keep up and do better, because then i could relapse to picking more easily, i think, so i'm afraid to do so, even if it maybe would be more fair, but i dunno don't know! (oh good proper typing is soo hard lol or should i say laugh out loud? :wacko: so i'll stop with this and..whatever..)

but 1 more thing, diet is so important, i won't forgive myself anymore, i can't screw it up no matter what anymore, so be my judge!

i thought of punishment myself already:

from tomorrow it's all or nothing! or i'll have to type in this annoying way forever and wear something pink for a week and and..>_< take a spoon of raw fish oil!!! :shock: (i'm vegetarian plus that shit stinks and is disgusting so it's going to be perfect revenge bahahah >:D)

well it's all i can think of for now, but i hope (it must deff! deffinatelly (i don't even know how to type properly this effing word :confused: )) motivate me enough! >:)

no picking: day 20 (well..less or more -_-)

no touching face at all: day 1

diet!!!: day 0!! x(

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

wookay ya fellaz, its been like hell alot of days now, i wont even count anymore, too lazy for that, whatever & ill try to do without needless pissy rants this time

(but oh how i..OH HOW i would like to, but this place already has enough venting, yea i know, briefly saying i sometimes feel like caught alive fish who desperatelly wants for water is being put on frying pan with boiling oil instead..well yepp!)

anywaayz about not picking, well ppl i deff have achieved like..umm..80% maybe of this goal? idk but if being honest then i feel like im giving in a bit and touching face more frequently, trying to pick, basically strongly tied rope is becoming a bit loose.(not that it ever been thaat strong buut u get the point) i know why is it like that, because with all routine and repetitive tasks, that i must do again and agaaain and agaaain :sleep: sooner or later it will just boore the hellll out of meeee~ :dozing:

and even if it seems weird -not touching face- (something that should be common uncoscious thing riight?) its actually is something that must be done forcefully for me and it have become really hard to, each time something itches, go find paper towel, or all the time being conscious about hands action at all

(and ppl lol i lost my gloves somehwere!! idk they probly are on same team as acne now coz i just dunno where in hell could they be, they just run off or something leaving my hands free to attack whenever & without getting noticed, but yea must get new ones or something)

so im like -feeling free- about it more frequently, & thats why im thinking from starting all over, from day 1, and this time go for all 100%

diet, i fixed it, so i wont have to do punishment (phew), i eat superhealthy imo and i dont care what new some ppl might suggest me to do, becoz i hate how body must be pampered all the time, its all good food already so i dont care, it has its system for what? for dawdling? its all for filtering and dealing with shit so it better be doing so, not pampered with superfoods n supps i cant affod anywayz all the time..so it better be adjusting and starting to do something with trash on my face already, doah!

(i HAAATE how ppl with epic skin and bods can eat junk food and be like soo whatever about anything and not gain absolutely nothing and dont get no retarded acne and nothing, when my metabolism is like metabolism of an old shoe and just everything is so noot functioning and working properly no matter whaat, soooo sick of it and DESPIIZE it all, like OMG! :xxx: )

but whatevar.. i plan to start with new topic, from day 1, with less raant

(i honestly hate to rant this much and usually dont do so ppl, but when i come to this site i just cant help but let go all of buildup (i still dont write all thats on my mind, theres just so much bunch of frustration going on in my head it cant even be written)

and just shortly on progress, what i do and what helped or not, i also thought of a bit diff method this time, but actually idk, maybe its better to just get off this site maybe? :confused: afterall im just being pissy aand this site isnt much of help either, it just pisses me off itself lol so idk what to do now..well will decide tomorrow..

&

haave a good daaay and ofc no acne!!!

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Guest fugleee_dumbBUNNY

guess what? ...

i picked! :|

jaw and jawline :|

and even some on forhead and cheeks :|

all the big and full ones that i were patient and set to dry out :|

even some scabs and little ones and all little ones on chin :|

basically almost everything on chin and there was pretty much :|

i just couldnt stand that shit anymore, i could fuken feeel it all the time! :evil:

they were bleeeeding ...

feeling superfugly now ...

wanna be superprettty!!!! it hurts. >_<

am superdepressed again ...

superdooown ...

progress of almost month in vain :sleep:

i suck, yes. :sleep:

well that shit wont improve no matter whuut anyways, DESPIZEIT!! :evil:

i dont feel like fighting anymore :sleep:

fml :sleep:

-teh end of this thread-

Edited by fugleee_dumbBUNNY
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