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salotape

''Don't worry, you'll grow out of it...'' nd then you hit 20.

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Hey! Sorry for the late reply - I didn't have any access to the internet yesturday because I thankfully forced myself to visit my friends! :angel: How is everything today anyway?

Oh man, I'd kill to only get a few spots, but right now its feels like EVERYDAY is that time of the month for my skin. My nose was SO congested yesturday, it actually made me cringe. Of course, because I was staying at my friends place I couldn't attempt to deal with it because I'd be left with a very red, luminous nose for the rest of the day that I wouldn't have been able to conceal from them. However, my extra 'third eye' has gone down today, enough to cover up with make up, (thank God!) but, a group of spots on my cheek has erupted to replace it. Its kind of disheartening to start seeing positive results, only to have them scrapped the same/next day. Give me a break! :wall:

Did you up your dosage of Accutane this week in the end? Any new side effects?

Ditto, on the social side. I'm a pretty reserved kind of person. I've always been somewhat shy, although, I've improved since I've gone to uni. However, I do think acne has been a big contributer towards my anti-socialness because it sometimes makes me turn into a self conscious, paranoid maniac whenever I'm in a busy public situation/place. IE. When I went out for a meal with my friends yesturday, I had to go to the bathroom to check up on my makeup and my general mess of a face, several times throughout the night. I felt at some points that other diners were staring at me and that the light was shining on my face at the wrong angles, revealing all my lumps. I really lost my appetite because of it. I hate the power acne can have on self esteem. Sometimes, you really do want the ground to swallow you up there and then. :pray:

Argh, I'm not an outdoor kind of person. I'm not really at one with bugs. Spiders tend to scare the living crap out of me! Therefore, camping would be a nightmare for me. I probably wouldn't mind doing it for a music festival or something, but otherwise I would avoid it! Also, the lack of cleanliness in a tent would get to me...

Did you finish uni early or something? Because in the UK, its normal to start up in Sept/Oct time! I finished mid June, so thats like 2 and half months off altogether for Summer break! I wish we had more so my skin had more time to recover though! I kind of hope it will, so when I come back I won't scare people...I'm doing a History degree. Final year now and I'm terrified of getting a proper job after I finish (It means I will have to leave the house EVERYDAY!) whereas, my timetable in uni is 6 hours contact time each week - hardly anything, so I spend most of my time at home studying. This year is going to be tough, my skin is going to take a beating from my stress levels. What year are you in btw? You'll probably find that it gets harder every year you progress?

Anyhow, I have to go. Speak soon though!! xxxx

Hey! I'm really glad to hear you went to see your friends. I know how much courage that takes with bad skin. Did you have fun? What did you do?

I know what you mean about compulsively checking your makeup/leaving to go to the bathroom...I've recently forced myself to stop doing that, or at least to the best of my ability. I just keep telling myself, yes, it's bad now. Soon it should be better. Looking in a mirror constantly won't take away the wait. I still cave and check sometimes - it's really, really hard not to.

Yeah, the thing for me with camping and outdoors is the lack of cleanliness. Spiders? Sure. I can kill a spider. But I can't get clean without a shower and fresh towel. Haha. One definite result of my skin has been my paranoia about cleanliness. All my friends with good skin are like...Kate, you can skip one shower if you're busy...and I'm like NO. NO I CAN'T. NEVER. :redface:

I'm doing pretty well I guess. Still got some dry skin, but today I saw my doc and got my dosage upped 10mg - from 30 daily to 40. Now I need to go pick up my pills, so here's hoping that goes well. It can be a pain with all the iPledge crap we have over here. They warned me that I'm probably going to flare up for awhile as the result of the upped dosage. Great - just as I started to dry out and heal a bit. Oh well. It's the road to recovery...at least that's what I keep telling myself and hoping....

I'm in my fourth/final year of school, and yeah, we do get out a little earlier. (And you're right - it's definitely the hardest year yet so far.) We finish for the year in mid-May, so that's probably why we start again so early. Although most schools finish around that time in the States, and still a lot of them have another week or two off. Don't ask me why. :confused:

I have to go to the pharmacy now. Don't thwart me, iPledge! Let me know how you're doing, salotape :) Be well!

Hey! Yeah, I forced myself to go and stay with my friends, although, on the morning itself I was having big doubts as my skin had turned for the worse. I went back to uni to sort out the house we're renting for next year - I found out that my room has had a big chunk taken out of it to make room for a staircase leading upto the attic conversion. However, none of us were aware that this attic conversion would happen, nor that my room would get smaller because it wasn't stated in the contract we signed. So, I'm pretty bummed out about that! Not much we can do now that its been done because it can't be undone... :confused: I guess thats greedy landlords for you.

I used to be worse at staring at myself in the mirror than I am now. I used to sit and stare at my skin for upto an hour solidly, if I could get away with it. Theres something half obsessive, half painful when you do that because I find myself being both disgusted and curious about the state of my acne. I say 'curious', in the sense that although I already know my acne is bad, I'll still be surprised to see how bad it is everytime I look in the mirror. :ninja: It also doesn't help when you look at yourself and begin to wonder whether other people are just as repulsed by your acne as you are.

haha yeah I'm the same with showers. I'm really bad at work, I'm always washing my hands everytime I've touched any greasy food or something. At uni, I'm the only one out of my flatmates who change their bed sheets and covers every week because I'm paranoid that it will make me break out even more if I don't. One flatmate of mine changes her sheets about once a month or less - its so gross, but annoyingly she still has clear skin despite this! Infact, she doesn't do laundry that often, so I pressume her towels aren't washed weekly either...argh, that would drive me crazy.

Ouch, you're meant to break out more? I tell myself that my skin is just pushing out the impurities and once its done purging it will be clearer, to get me through breakouts. I think it will be similar for you on accutane as it is for me on this new solution thing I've been on for about a week today. Theres always initial breakouts on any new treatments you're on, so definitely stick with it and keep thinking about the long term goal of clearer skin! :dance: My god, my skin was cracking dry yesturday, I lathered emollient cream on it because it was like eczema kind of dry. I tried to put my liquid foundation on as usual and it just accentuated the flakiness of my jawline. I had to take it off because it looked ridiculous. I hate the cycle my skin goes through. It tends to gradually dry out and the spots/lumps shrink or dry up with it. THEN, when its bone dry It gets itchy and I start to get more lumps in its place. No matter, how much I moisturise, it always ends up drying out like this. I can't wear makeup without looking like my face is chapped and peeling. :rolleyes:

Ahhhhhhh I'm starting to get nervous at the thought of starting my final year! I know its going to kill me. Its funny, I was actually considering journalism as a possible degree choice. What type of journalism do you think you'll go into after you finish uni? I know that its incredibly competative, so you have to try and get as much work experience as you can! I'm still trying to figure out what job I want to pursue when I finish next year - its daunting to think that its the end of education, we've been at it for so long and now that its ending it seems unreal. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to finish it because I'm sick of exams and essays, but its all I've ever known, so it will be somewhat exciting/terrifying to leave.

Forgive me if this sound dumb, but was the hell is iPledge?! :shifty: I don't think I've ever heard of it before! The only 'i' I know, is iPOD. haha!

I'm meant to be working tonight, (I work weekends) but, I've got the flu, I guess its a good thing as my skin is awful today. I feel like a vampire, I shy away from anything that involves me going outside in the daytime. In the night time, I don't feel half as self conscious. Its also SUPER SUNNY today, which is unusual for the UK btw! I guess, you're used to it because you tend to have hot sunny weather in most of your states?

Anyway, have an awesome day Kate! Take a break from the uni work! Go out, go watch a film or something - I watched Inception the other day, its SO good! Spend time with friends to distract you from your skin, it really does help.

Sending my luck and hope across the ocean! xx

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Renting a house for next year sounds fun! I'm in an apartment near my school with some friends now, and I love it but wish there were less restrictions - i.e., that we could have a cat and be allowed to light candles. Lol. It's a bummer that your room is smaller. Will you be sharing it, or will it just be yours? My current room is microscopic, and shared, so we can commiserate. :)

I used to be JUST like you were with the mirror obsession. Breaking away, even a little bit, is so helpful, isn't it? Staring at the problem never solved anything, but just made me more depressed and led to skin-picking. It is SO hard not to pick, but I'm working on it really hard now that I'm on Accutane since the drug increases the chance of scarring. It's made both easier and harder by the fact that my pimples have gotten much more cyst-like and unpoppable since I started the medication. Messing with them is fruitless anyway - it's easier to just take an anti-inflammatory, dot on a little bit of BP and just wait for them to go down. The anti-inflammatories really make a big difference, and I wish I had discovered this use of them sooner!

Showers and bedsheets - amen. Idk if it's because I'm paranoid or what, but if I don't change that stuff and use fresh towels, I swear I can feel the dirt and oil. That old roomie of mine who ate all the junk food also changed her sheets about once a month. It drove me nuts. I wanted to do it for her haha.

Yeah, I guess it's likely I'll have a few more weeks of breakouts before things get really good. My doc said that's the pores "purging" and "pushing stuff out". It's frustrating because I'm just SO DONE with acne. In some ways it's almost more maddening than it ever was before, just because the end is in sight and I'm getting impatient. But, when the end wasn't in sight it was just depressing, so I guess I'll take being infuriated and annoyed as hell over that.

What's the new solution you're on? Is it possible that it's causing the dryness? I was on a pretty decent topical cream for awhile, but it was ridiculously drying and I had to put it on over a layer of Aveeno and rub the two into my skin together - otherwise I'd peel and flake like a bad sunburn. But the layer of moisturizer really made a difference; it was the reason I was able to use the cream for a few months.

I hope the new solution works out for you soon. I just hate the feeling of trying treatment after treatment and watching them all fail. So disheartening, and really took away my optimism. If Accutane fails me, I really just don't know what I'll do after that. I don't even want to think about it, to be honest. Please, God, no...

I know I want to work in print journalism because I like writing (and hate being on camera. Yay acne.) As long as it's not sports journalism, I'm not picky :) I know it's going to be super competitive but I really think I'd enjoy the field. It's funny that you study history because I actually considered that too. What do you want to do after uni? Final year looks like (well, is) a bitch in terms of work, but I'm hoping to make it really fun as well...especially in the spring if I'm all cleared up. At least I have a good reason to hide in my apartment and study a lot over the next couple months. Do you ever feel like that?

iPledge is something that the States have that I don't think other countries do. It's a government-regulated program to make sure that pregnant women don't take Accutane, or become pregnant while taking it b/c of the birth defects it causes. It means you have to have two negative pregnancy tests a month apart before you start the drug (extra waiting. Drove me nuts), and then have a negative pregnancy test every month while you're on it and one month after you finish. You're also required to use two forms of birth control the entire time you're on it, and for a month before and after. Every month, you also have to answer online questions about birth control awareness before you can legally pick up your prescription. Does it sound as annoying as it is? Haha. I get why they do it, but it's just a huge hassle. I'm envious of other countries that don't have that requirement.

I'm sorry you have the flu! I hope you feel better. Make yourself some soup or something. We do have a lot of sunny weather, yeah - at least in the summer. It's def sunny more than cloudy. But it's starting to get a little colder, and fall can be kind of chilly. I hear it rains a lot in the UK?

Thanks for the well-wishes :) I saw Inception too, and I LOVED it. One of the most fun, original things I've seen in a long time. Let me know how you're doing! Feel better soon, salotape. (Can I ask what your username means?) Good luck on your new regimen! Luck and hope, dear. :D

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Renting a house for next year sounds fun! I'm in an apartment near my school with some friends now, and I love it but wish there were less restrictions - i.e., that we could have a cat and be allowed to light candles. Lol. It's a bummer that your room is smaller. Will you be sharing it, or will it just be yours? My current room is microscopic, and shared, so we can commiserate. :)

I used to be JUST like you were with the mirror obsession. Breaking away, even a little bit, is so helpful, isn't it? Staring at the problem never solved anything, but just made me more depressed and led to skin-picking. It is SO hard not to pick, but I'm working on it really hard now that I'm on Accutane since the drug increases the chance of scarring. It's made both easier and harder by the fact that my pimples have gotten much more cyst-like and unpoppable since I started the medication. Messing with them is fruitless anyway - it's easier to just take an anti-inflammatory, dot on a little bit of BP and just wait for them to go down. The anti-inflammatories really make a big difference, and I wish I had discovered this use of them sooner!

Showers and bedsheets - amen. Idk if it's because I'm paranoid or what, but if I don't change that stuff and use fresh towels, I swear I can feel the dirt and oil. That old roomie of mine who ate all the junk food also changed her sheets about once a month. It drove me nuts. I wanted to do it for her haha.

Yeah, I guess it's likely I'll have a few more weeks of breakouts before things get really good. My doc said that's the pores "purging" and "pushing stuff out". It's frustrating because I'm just SO DONE with acne. In some ways it's almost more maddening than it ever was before, just because the end is in sight and I'm getting impatient. But, when the end wasn't in sight it was just depressing, so I guess I'll take being infuriated and annoyed as hell over that.

What's the new solution you're on? Is it possible that it's causing the dryness? I was on a pretty decent topical cream for awhile, but it was ridiculously drying and I had to put it on over a layer of Aveeno and rub the two into my skin together - otherwise I'd peel and flake like a bad sunburn. But the layer of moisturizer really made a difference; it was the reason I was able to use the cream for a few months.

I hope the new solution works out for you soon. I just hate the feeling of trying treatment after treatment and watching them all fail. So disheartening, and really took away my optimism. If Accutane fails me, I really just don't know what I'll do after that. I don't even want to think about it, to be honest. Please, God, no...

I know I want to work in print journalism because I like writing (and hate being on camera. Yay acne.) As long as it's not sports journalism, I'm not picky :) I know it's going to be super competitive but I really think I'd enjoy the field. It's funny that you study history because I actually considered that too. What do you want to do after uni? Final year looks like (well, is) a bitch in terms of work, but I'm hoping to make it really fun as well...especially in the spring if I'm all cleared up. At least I have a good reason to hide in my apartment and study a lot over the next couple months. Do you ever feel like that?

iPledge is something that the States have that I don't think other countries do. It's a government-regulated program to make sure that pregnant women don't take Accutane, or become pregnant while taking it b/c of the birth defects it causes. It means you have to have two negative pregnancy tests a month apart before you start the drug (extra waiting. Drove me nuts), and then have a negative pregnancy test every month while you're on it and one month after you finish. You're also required to use two forms of birth control the entire time you're on it, and for a month before and after. Every month, you also have to answer online questions about birth control awareness before you can legally pick up your prescription. Does it sound as annoying as it is? Haha. I get why they do it, but it's just a huge hassle. I'm envious of other countries that don't have that requirement.

I'm sorry you have the flu! I hope you feel better. Make yourself some soup or something. We do have a lot of sunny weather, yeah - at least in the summer. It's def sunny more than cloudy. But it's starting to get a little colder, and fall can be kind of chilly. I hear it rains a lot in the UK?

Thanks for the well-wishes :) I saw Inception too, and I LOVED it. One of the most fun, original things I've seen in a long time. Let me know how you're doing! Feel better soon, salotape. (Can I ask what your username means?) Good luck on your new regimen! Luck and hope, dear. :D

Hello again!

I get my own room thankfully. Its pretty unusual to share rooms in uni in the UK. You tend to just get a tiny box room for a bedroom. I can imagine it must be hell for you guys to share rooms because you never have your own private space. Not to mention, you could end up with a bitch of a roomie who never cleans! No way could I put up with that. In the first year, I stayed in uni halls and my room was the same size as the utility room I have at home. Even, the bed was smaller than a normal single bed. The first night, I forgot about this and fell out while I was sleeping. It was not pleasant! :redface: I get the same restrictions as you by the sounds of it. I spoke to the landlord yesturday and had to fight to get some curtain rails fitted into my room because he had taken them out when he took a chunk out of it for the attic staircase. He finally caved after I brought up the contract and how there was nothing in it to suggest that any of my prior bedroom fixtures would change, nor that there would be a change in size. I hate having to deal with assholes. :wall:

Argh, my skin scars so easily because I'm asian. Even spots that I don't touch at all, ends up leaving a dark mark or depressed scar when it clears up by itself. Luckily, my foundaton covers most of them, but I don't really want to wear makeup at all in the future, if I should ever clear up completely.

My new solution is Clindamycin Phosphate, it was the first treatment I tried when i first started seeing the doctor for my acne. It worked 5 years ago, but I became immune to it. My doctor said that it could work again because I haven't used this specific antibotic since then and my body may be more receptive to it again. It contains alcohol, so I know that its causing the peeling and dryness. I've lathered more emollient cream on today - I'm not entirely sure whether I should moisturise before I apply it, or whether I should do it after because I'm pretty sure it may be difficult for it to soak into my skin through the emollient cream? I've been applying it before I moisturise so my skin stays more hydrated, but my skin was still ridiculously flaky today despite last nights moisturising! I think I'm going to order some Aveeno cream on Amazon and use that instead.

I've been through so many treatments, like you. I'm not sure what to use if this solution doesn't work or if I become immune to it. I just hope that I somehow grow out of it in the next year or so! I've heard many people go through multiple rounds of accutane, so I guess thats an option if this round doesn't clear you up as much as you would like? I do think that this round will at least improve the type of acne you'll get in the future, ie they'll clear up quicker than your current acne. Its early days for both of us. I've been told to wait 3 months before I go back and try something else. Its never really dawned on me until now that in those 3 months, this solution may not work. I keep thinking that next week my skin will improve when it kicks in, but theres a possibility that it may never ever kick in. :shock: I hope so much that our treatments start working soon!

Ha! I have no idea what I want to be when I finish. I contemplated teaching, but then I'd feel too self conscious if my acne was still with me then, (chances are, it will.) Also, kids can be cruel and I don't want to be targetted for my acne. I know one teacher who had pretty bad acne, she was teased by the kids, but she also had a great figure so at least she had something going for her.

I've thought about going into magazine writing as well, but I don't have enough experience to get into the field. I quite like films, so I've been trying to think of a job thats in the industry, perhaps script supervisor/writer? But, again thats difficult to get into and to be successful at because you have to work yourself up from the very bottom of the ladder. I wouldn't get any decent pay to support myself for at least 5 years if I entered that profession. Argh, its all very confusing. What kind of print journalism are you thinking of going into? fashion? gossip? newspapers? haha, I'm not into sports either. I know the names of the key players in our football team, but thats as far as I venture...

Jeeeeez that ipledge sounds like a nightmare! I don't know if we have a similar procedure for accutane over here. I pressume we must be put on birth control if we do take accutane because of the birth defects it can cause, but I don't think we have to take so many preganacy tests and questionaires for it like you guys do! That sounds like an intense process you must have to go through. I didn't realise you had so much trouble getting accutane.

Yup, it rains a lot in the UK. It rained solidly for the past 3 days here. I think thats why I caught the flu because I walked home from work and got a soaked! Which state do you live in? You do get colder, rainy states like in Portland, Oregon? (Thats a wild guess from my mediocre knowledge taken from the Twilight films! haha) At least, you can get a nice tan for most of the year. The best I can muster up is a pasty whitish colour. ;)

Oh I loved Inception as well! I'm a big fan of Christopher Nolan - I cannot wait for the new Batman movie! I grew up watching action films with my brother and dad, so I've always been more predisposed than other girls are, to watch those types of movies. I also grew up playing the same computer games as my brother did - Hitman, GTA etc etc. Its quite amusing to see a guy's face drop slightly when you start recommending them shooter games. I guess, I've always been more into guys stuff than girls? I'm not a tomboy, but I do prefer guy movies over chick flicks. (Although, I LOVED The Proposal!) :D

Ah my username was a nickname my old friend used to call me. My name is Sally, so she just put an odd slant on it one day when she was looking for sellotape and ended up calling me sallotape by accident. Its stuck ever since. ;)

Its funny, I've been watching films all day in my jammies and came across Vanilla Sky. Whilst watching it I began to resonate with Tom Cruise's character - I don't know if you've seen it, but his character is an outgoing, arrogant ass at the beginning of the film. But, then hes involved in a car crash, which, results in his face becoming disfigured permanantly. He struggles to function because of how hideous it looks and becomes a social recluse. At some point, he ends up wearing a horrible white mask to cover his face up. I couldn't help but relate it to my experience with acne. As in I'm a social recluse because of my face and even when I try to cover it up with a mask of makeup, people aren't fooled by it. His disfigured face meant that he had lost his identity and his ability to feel human. Everyone hated him by the end of the film, including himself. Man, thats not a great movie to watch if you're already down in the dumps over acne! I'm going to have to compensate this with a dose of Friends tonight!

Hope your day is going well - its currently 7.40pm over here, so I'm going to make dinner and curl up into bed. Talk sooooooon!!! :D

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Hey there! Sorry this is quite belated - it was a study-heavy week, sadly.

That's interesting that it's unusual to share uni rooms for you. It's the opposite here - you're pretty special if you get a single room haha. I've had a roommate every year, and am sharing an apartment with four at the moment. Single rooms are rare. I like living with other people, but I do miss the privacy sometimes. Tonight one of the other girls had a party while I was studying in my room, and it was *not* quiet. Oh well...

I didn't know asians scarred more easily...that really is a bummer :( I have a couple tiny little pockmarks but they don't really look like much, I don't think. My red spots have always faded in the past so I'm confident they'll go away eventually. And I hear you on the makeup! When I'm better, I'm so going out into the world barefaced. Or I'll start wearing eye makeup again, which I like a lot but have stopped using because I don't like calling attention to my broken-out face. But foundation? I don't even like the stuff. I can't wait to stop using it.

I used a Clindamycin-based cream once, and liked it. BUT, the same thing happened and I sort of built up an immunity. I hope it works for you again! It's good stuff, I think, but some of us lucked out with that really stubborn acne that just won't respond to anything topical. I don't think you'll disappointed if you try Aveeno. It really is wonderful stuff :dance:

I know what you mean about always being worried that a treatment will fail...I'm so used to being disappointed that I'm somewhat afraid that even Accutane will fail me. It's kinda an irrational fear, because my acne's not even super-severe - just stubborn, persistent and moderate. So I have a really good chance. I just have very little faith left in treatment, I guess. Maybe you can come over here to take Accutane! And have all that fun with the iPledge program...woot woot...:P

Oh gosh I can't even imagine teaching to a class full of middle or high school kids with adult acne. I feel like that's a legitimate nightmare scenario. Kids can be monsters. I too thought about teaching for a bit (I have a double concentration in English), but decided I'd rather not spend the rest of my life in school...haha. I think I'd like to work in newspaper writing. Yeah, jobs in movies are tough to get. I love writing creatively but it's just not a dependable field...script writing is about the same, I guess. All the fun jobs are hard to get. Damn it. :rolleyes:

I'm in upstate New York, so I get the basic New England weather - hot summers, cold winters, cool falls and rainy springs. We do get some rain in the summer, though, usually after long dry spells and we really need it. Lol Twilight :boohoo::P I've never been to Oregon...and I actually don't tan! Haha. I'm very fair and just don't take color well, so I'm always wearing hats and sunscreen and staying in the shade. We can be pasty and whitish together :)

I've never seen Vanilla Sky...I like Tom Cruise as an actor but now I'm not sure I want to. I can't handle any depression on top of this much studying. I do love some Friends as a good stress-reliever - it's just impossible not to laugh. Chandler is my favorite :)

It's super-late here and I'm fading...how are you doing though? I hope you're having a good week. Feeling better from the flu?

Be well! :) Hope to hear from you soon.

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