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sportsguy23

People Noticing your Scars--

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Now my left side is good and overall appears very nice and smooth.

I WISH my right side was like my left....

I had accutane 4-5 yrs ago and it made me breakout in cysts especially on my right side which left me with bad scarring.... Rolling, Ice pick, Unevenness etc.

Over a year ago I got subcision and it helped but left a line scar on my face. 9 Months ago I got dermabrasion not knowing how intense it would be. It has been a mixed bag. In one area it smoothed out my skin...In another area the skin appears slightly whiter (and I am type I skin) and in my main area the rolling scar has reappeared that was treated by subcison and I have unevenness and it is a bit darker than it should be...(slowly lightening...very slowly)

I think after a year I will have improved somewhat...but will prob do a subcision to lift the rolling scar again...maybe lasers too who knows...would rather avoid lasers or anything like that if I can.

Anyways, I was wondering if any of you notice people looking at your scars during conversations...and if so how you react or how you feel and how to get past this...

Any advice would be appreciated.

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deal with it.

What the hell is it with people on this website replying with inconsiderate, a**hole answers? Get over yourself.

Yes sportsguy, I feel like people are looking at the flaws on my face when im talking to them. Thing is, most of the time I dont really think they notice, and if they do they dont think anything of it.

When you talk with someone, do you notice the flaws on there face?

What I do if I feel uncomfortable with someone looking directly at me, is smile as big as I can smile.

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Axle's reply isn't inconsiderate or a-holic. He's right. He just phrased it tersely. Your reply is actually a more detailed version of Axle's.

However it came out it was rude. How is mine the same? I answered his question, asked him a question, and gave him my tip on how I get past it.

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Wow clap clap for the big boys playin' tough....

If you you dont have anything nice/constructive/supportive/sympathetic/empathetic dont post. I think that should be obvious ESPECIALLY for these boards.

The OP was lookin' for a little support, a little love and you guys (EXCEPT only.one) have not offered it.

Clearly sportsguy wanted a bit of empathy not the attitudes that have been expressed above.

HOLEYDOOD- have you liked/appreciated/received the support you have gotten within your own threads???!!!! Maybe I should post "Get over it" to you???

Play nice or get the hell out of the sand box

Sportsguy - from what I have seen and remembered of your photos you do not have bad scarring at all. I know hearing this doesnt help but its true. I always think people are staring at my scars and I guess sometimes they are and sometimes they arent. All I know is that people with acne scarring are super sensitive to any sort of scar on faces and its funny because before I had acne scarring I never noticed that my boyfriend has scars across his face (even though hes never had acne) and now I notice coz Im hyper aware. So I guess what Im trying to say is that I dont think people who have never had acne scarring really notice and those that do probs have acne scarring themselves so maybe theres comfort in that?....

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To be honest.... people are going to notice big red shiney bumps on your face more than small indents in the skin. They are also going to percieve severe acne far worse than the aftermath.

Did you even know what acne scars were before you got any yourself? because I sure didn't. And i'm pretty sure I must have came across plenty of people with acne scarring within the first 15-16 years of my life with clear skin. But I must not have noticed, or cared.

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Wow clap clap for the big boys playin' tough....

If you you dont have anything nice/constructive/supportive/sympathetic/empathetic dont post. I think that should be obvious ESPECIALLY for these boards.

The OP was lookin' for a little support, a little love and you guys (EXCEPT only.one) have not offered it.

Clearly sportsguy wanted a bit of empathy not the attitudes that have been expressed above.

HOLEYDOOD- have you liked/appreciated/received the support you have gotten within your own threads???!!!! Maybe I should post "Get over it" to you???

Play nice or get the hell out of the sand box

Sportsguy - from what I have seen and remembered of your photos you do not have bad scarring at all. I know hearing this doesnt help but its true. I always think people are staring at my scars and I guess sometimes they are and sometimes they arent. All I know is that people with acne scarring are super sensitive to any sort of scar on faces and its funny because before I had acne scarring I never noticed that my boyfriend has scars across his face (even though hes never had acne) and now I notice coz Im hyper aware. So I guess what Im trying to say is that I dont think people who have never had acne scarring really notice and those that do probs have acne scarring themselves so maybe theres comfort in that?....

Agreed. :clap:

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i just wish axle would stop posting. he is a nasty piece of work in all of his threads. if hes here to make people feel bad, he should do it elsewhere. an ugly outside shouldnt equal an ugly inside.

sportsguy, just keep a postive attitude and be nice to people. keep looking into treatments, living your life and hope it will one day get better :)

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HOLEYDOOD- have you liked/appreciated/received the support you have gotten within your own threads???!!!! Maybe I should post "Get over it" to you???

harsh advice =/= bad advice

No, you get over yourself. Who are you to dismiss replies simply because it lacks Ps and Qs, isn't politically correct, or isn't 3 paragraphs long? That ain't good for the health, baby cakes. Axle's advice is sound, as harsh as it was. Even the OP agreed for chrissakes.

Some of the wisest words I ever got was the verbal equivalent of a kick in the nuts.

"Grow up!"

"Get out!!!"

"It's over!!!!!"

As harsh as they sound, they were golden in retrospect. Long replies sugar-coated in niceties aren't always the best answers. Don't paint bad replies with broad strokes. Recognize sound advice when you see it instead of getting your panties in a bunch.

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harsh advice =/= bad advice

No, you get over yourself. Who are you to dismiss replies simply because it lacks Ps and Qs, isn't politically correct, or isn't 3 paragraphs long? That ain't good for the health, baby cakes. Axle's advice is sound, as harsh as it was. Even the OP agreed for chrissakes.

Some of the wisest words I ever got was the verbal equivalent of a kick in the nuts.

"Grow up!"

"Get out!!!"

"It's over!!!!!"

As harsh as they sound, they were golden in retrospect. Long replies sugar-coated in niceties aren't always the best answers. Don't paint bad replies with broad strokes. Recognize sound advice when you see it instead of getting your panties in a bunch.

I think the OP was being ironic when he said "ha...great advice". If you're going to give someone advice you have to put enough effort into your post to make sure the person you're giving this advice to knows you're not being a jerk. There should be no room for interpretation. Otherwise you risk getting people upset.

But I wouldn't be surprised if you knew all of that already... Correct me if I'm wrong.

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Ha... that is why I just laughed at Axle. It almost made me want to lash out at him. Then I realized there is clearly something incredibly wrong with this person and they have already been screwed over by life to make such idiotic remarks and posts that I don't even need to do/say anything.

Some of us may have gotten F***ed by acne scars but some people here seem to be pretty successful in a lot of other ways and there even some pretty good looking people that have been messed over by scarring both minor and severe.

Thanks for the advice guys...it is easy to get lost sometimes and get upset and come here to post and vent...sometimes people may get annoyed by people doing that...but there is really nothing wrong with asking a type of question with how to deal with something more efficiently is there?

I don't think there is.

Holey dood...you have a point. Sometimes harsh advice is necessary to really snap someone else out of it. Axles harsh advice I don't think was quality harsh advice.

For example, When a guy is questioning whether he goes up to a girl or not to say hi and appraoch her and his friend says quit being a p**** and go say hi to her the worst she will say is no... That is good harsh advice.

When someone asks how to deal with acne scarring and they needed harsh advice...I'd say something like... look you can keep complaining about it or you can start taking steps towards doing something about it.

OR if someone has had bad experience with certain acne scar treatments (cough dermabrasion) and they are wondering if doing the same thing or doing other bad treatments can help them. I'd say snap out of it you need to consult with many doctors to get the right options set in front of you and you need to take time and not rush into anything!

Anyways, everyone have a great weekend and I'll try not to think about my scars and neither should you guys!

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Holeydood - Funnily enough I completely agree with you - harsh advice tough love what ever you want to call it can be a good thing HOWEVER I think it has to be done in a certain way for it to be effective and I dont think you were providing "constructive criticism" I felt it was rude.

ANYWAY, I view you guys as my support, I think thats why were all here isnt? For understanding and support? To help others? And that includes you holeydude, I appreciate your "no nonense approach" however I think theres a place, time and way of doing it. So next time Ill take a breath and "wont get my panties in a bunch" lol

Sportsguy it seems you have a pretty good perspective on your scars :)

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Now my left side is good and overall appears very nice and smooth.

I WISH my right side was like my left....

I had accutane 4-5 yrs ago and it made me breakout in cysts especially on my right side which left me with bad scarring.... Rolling, Ice pick, Unevenness etc.

Over a year ago I got subcision and it helped but left a line scar on my face. 9 Months ago I got dermabrasion not knowing how intense it would be. It has been a mixed bag. In one area it smoothed out my skin...In another area the skin appears slightly whiter (and I am type I skin) and in my main area the rolling scar has reappeared that was treated by subcison and I have unevenness and it is a bit darker than it should be...(slowly lightening...very slowly)

I think after a year I will have improved somewhat...but will prob do a subcision to lift the rolling scar again...maybe lasers too who knows...would rather avoid lasers or anything like that if I can.

Anyways, I was wondering if any of you notice people looking at your scars during conversations...and if so how you react or how you feel and how to get past this...

Any advice would be appreciated.

The best thing of all - confidence. I have seen some people with severe acne scarring, but because the confidence and bravado is there, people haven't noticed their acne scarring.

Maintain eye contact when talking to people - I find this works, as this way they won't look at your skin instead, plus you know where they are looking. It doesn't look very good if you look at the ground when talking to someone.

Also, just remind yourself when you are talking to them, 'who are they to judge me'? They are no better than you, and they are certainly not in a position to judge you on how you look.

I gather from 'sportsguy23' that you are guy, but nevertheless why not try a bit of concealer? It is possible to do it in a way that isn't obvious. You'd be surprised - for me, my perceived depth of acne scars on my face had a lot to do with the slight difference in colour - after applying concealer, I found they were not very obvious at all. You don't have to do the whole face - just get a very small fine brush and a matching concealer, and use them to 'fill in' the scars on your face. Yeah its not a permanent solution, but its better than nothing. Just make sure the concealer matches your skin colour though. There are some good concealers out there - some are quite concentrated, so you don't have to use much and they will last a long time.

I find all the above work for me.

Edited by dx4567
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Where did you get your concealer? I tried one for a bit after dermabrasion I'd use it to cover the redness... and it did make scars a little noticeable and I used the method you said with a brush and in a small area and sometimes it would look blended but I think the color was a little too dark for my fairer skin...but still i made it blend almost...

As for my persepective yea it seems good here but I get these modes sometimes like when was out yesterday there were some mirrors with really harsh lighting and I looked and my left side was looking great... (especially after being on tazorac for a long time, my left cheek is really nice and smooth now, but also because there was never really any scarring to begin with there) and my right cheek just looked like a mess with my uneven lighter scars, the dermabraded area rolling scar was looking rough and line scar noticeable. FUnny thing is in a diff mirror with better light I was looking just fine...almost lol but in that bad lighting it was bad :(

I hate those feelings

Yea I am good about eye contact btw and that is usually the way you want to talk to people because looking away shows that you are less confident... That is important...THere have been times when I maintain eye contact and I have seen eyes wander to my right cheek before... That is where insecurity happens in my head...I hide it but in my head i'm thinking FML.

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I ALWAYS have people look at my scaring. I had TERRIBLE, SEVERE acne on my back. My WHOLE entire back is covered with scars. I will need to go for some sort of abrasion but it's too expensive right now. On the beach everyone stared like I had a skin disease. My face has minor scaring but I can see those wondering eyes. I usually just scan their face as well, and usually they stop. My chest has terrible scaring as well but I can usually hide it with my shirt so it's not much of an issue.

You just deal with it. It's not something that will go away in a day. It takes years.

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