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President Mercury

I really need some help, I hate my face.

Yes, I said it, hate. And I'm not exaggerating right now, that is exactly how I feel about my damn face. I have yet to be put on any medication at all (even though it's assumed that my acne is from a hormonal imbalance) and have just completed a months worth of different tests for my hormones. I have recently entered into a relationship with a lovely man who tells me I'm beautiful. Do I believe it? Hell no. For more then two years now I look in the mirror for a longer and longer period of time, I carry a compact mirror now, and whenever I'm on the computer I look into the shiny, reflective piece on my tower to look at all the acne I have. And I constantly want to cry.

My boyfriend invited me next month to go to a cabin near a lake with some of his friends for three days. Of course I said yes because I don't have to pay for a room (his friend owns the cabin) so it makes it a bit cheaper and I haven't been on any sort of vacation for five years. So I was happy to say yes, but right after that I felt the pained anxiety of a certain realization...I would have to take my makeup off. Going on this vacation would mean that I have to take my makeup off before bed, wash it all off, and have all of this acne/acne scarring out in the open. I will be completely exposed.

My rational self is saying that maybe I should explain to him how I feel and get it out in the open that I'm uncomfortable with it; could use his support. And my irrational self is thinking about keeping my makeup on while I sleep, or wearing a facial mask while I sleep, and waking up early each morning to apply my makeup. What the hell do I do? I don't want to say no because I enjoy spending time with him. But it's really hard for me to show anyone how I really look. I wish I could just ripe off my skin and have a clean slate under it, with no acne or scarring.

Seriously, what do I do? :cry:

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I know how you feel, darling. :comfort: I'm thinking my problem is my fucked up hormones, too. You aren't alone on that part, definitely.

And second - I've been in that position many times, and I hate it. I usually do the "sleep with makeup on" thing when I have to and it works pretty well. Only when I have to, though. Being at college for six weeks was hard - having the people in your suite seeing you, right after coming out of the shower, with no makeup on at all. And if that's the route you decide to take, I'm sure they'll understand. I just acted like I wasn't any different, didn't show I was vulnerable, and although I looked shitty no one treated me any differently or said anything. Doing that took courage but in the end it only made me more comfortable knowing that I could go bare in front of people other than myself.

I hope all works out, you'll be fine. <3

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Oh man. :(

I really think you should just have an open and honest conversation with him about how you feel. Otherwise he is going to feel the tension and discomfort on the trip and wonder what's wrong and that would be sad. He obviously thinks you are hot ;) so just tell him how you feel. In these cases honesty is the best policy. You can still wear makeup if you want but I would tell him how you feel about the whole shebang. He could end up being a great source of comfort for you. When I finally started telling my boyfriend how I felt it was a relief. Overall, enjoy your trip it sounds like a great time!

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OMG! I totally know how you feel. I have a lot of scarring and acne(its moderate but it feels severe to me) and I refuse to go swimming with my boyfriend or my friends because I wont take my makeup off and reveal my ugly gross face. If you really want to go, just consult him about your face. If you decide not to go, that could also be a good option if your worried about them seeing you without it. Whatever you do, dont go to bed with makeup because it will make you breakout terribly!

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