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Chikyuu

People who try to pick you? And Mom?

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My Mom used to have acne. Her Dad used to have acne. So because of that she thinks she knows what I "need to do" and nags me about it all the time. She thinks picking is GOOD for acne. She says I need to put my bikini top on, go outside, and get a slight sunburn on my back to bring the gunk out of the zits there, so she can pick them easier. She even looks at my face, points out a bad pimple or two, and then if I don't RUN the f*** away she'll grab my face and pick she s*** out of it.

..... f*** you Mom.

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And i bet she has a bunch of acne scars right?

Yeah she's 50 now and has scars and big pores and stuff like that. Before she left to go to the doctor today she said "bye, love you, pop your pimples!"

I know I have a very inflamed breakout on my cheek right now. but ffs.

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I've heard of other moms doing that, too. It seems such a violation, doesn't it? One of my friends actually had her mom do that to her, she now has a lot of scarring, even more than I do. I think the desire to do that kind of thing stems from an instinctual level, a grooming desire that many other animals display as well. It just gets carried to extremes in some cases.

Perhaps tell your mom that squeezing pimples causes the infection to spread underneath the skin, that certain types of pimples should NEVER be 'popped' and that scarring can result from the resultant spreading infection and messing with cysts/nodules. I doubt reason will help much though but you could try. You can try pointing her in the direction of YouTube, she can possibly watch pimple popping videos there and leave YOU alone. :P

OR you could scream like you're losing your mind when she approaches you next time and don't stop screaming until she stops messing with your skin. Seriously. If you're loud enough, neighbors might wonder what's up. What she's doing is essentially assault and battery.

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Might want to get your mom onto a website or something to check out the information about all that and what's up with how negative that can be.

or throw something at her when she's coming. a dog, cat, Bible, it's all good.

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That's the thing about my mom. she doesn't listen to reason. My and my Dad try to reason with her on a LOT of things. Not being able to shave my legs until I'm 14, not "allowed" to use tampons, and even now at 16 I can't even get a haircut. The relationship I have with my Mom is pretty crappy. And she NEVER uses the internet because she doesn't know how 90% of electronics work.

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Scream like a maniac since reason doesn't work. I'm serious. It'll scare the whole household though so prepare them in advance.

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My mom used to do the same thing! When I first started to get blackheads on my nose at around age eleven, she would beg me to let me "get the stuff out so it would heal". I let her for a while, but by the time I turned twelve I would never let her touch my face anymore. But I picked up the habit from her. Now I'm the one doing all the stupid self-destruction. :wall:

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Have you tried repairing the relationship between you and you're mom? Just sit down and talk to her about how you wanna be closer to her and then perhaps discuss how popping pimples is bad and how you want to get you're haircut, etc. Crying helps too!

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My parents just had another screaming fight today. I used to spend a lot more time with my Dad when I was little than my Mom, and whenever I'm around her I'm frustrated with her, Dad doesn't frustrate me as much. And they're hardly ever around each other and not bickering at each other over something.

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Wow, I can't imagine that...

My mum is essentially the exact opposite, she thinks that picking anything on your face is an abnormal and unhealthy behaviour and she also thinks it's the only reason I ever get spots.

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Oh god haha.. well leaving the solidyfied dried up puss roots isn't too good either.. That's when theres no other alternative than to just manually remove it. Try to find something that surfaces everything up, if things don't happen naturally. leaving dried roots in their leaves the pore big too.picking isn't so bad if u do it correctly. Big pore thing is just a myth, unless you completely ravage your skin pore when trying to get the shit out. But mostly it's from genetic stuff..that depends on how well you heal. I 'picked' until i was completely clear, nd the pores shrunk later due to natural healing process.. Ok so good luck.

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When someone (your mum) is getting her needs gratified (sorry but thats exactly what I think) through you - its so wrong. I really feel for you - what a nightmare. Its a dreadful invasion of your selfhood and I wish you all the hope in the world to try and stop it. Just a word of advice - when you do put up a boundary (and it sounds like your really trying) dont be suprised if your mum tries to destroy that boundary - harder than ever before because the new boundary will be very unfamiliar to her. People like that only learn to access behaviour B when A doesn't work anymore. Its your plight to introduce behaviour B - leave me alone and respect me as an individual in my own right. They get pissed off and want to just use behaviour A - thats always worked in the past and so dont want to learn behaviour B because they have never had to. It doesn't make it right by a long shot, you shouldn't have to be the parent in all of this. Good luck. Also I like the screaming so the neighbours might hear thing.

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When someone (your mum) is getting her needs gratified (sorry but thats exactly what I think) through you - its so wrong. I really feel for you - what a nightmare. Its a dreadful invasion of your selfhood and I wish you all the hope in the world to try and stop it. Just a word of advice - when you do put up a boundary (and it sounds like your really trying) dont be suprised if your mum tries to destroy that boundary - harder than ever before because the new boundary will be very unfamiliar to her. People like that only learn to access behaviour B when A doesn't work anymore. Its your plight to introduce behaviour B - leave me alone and respect me as an individual in my own right. They get pissed off and want to just use behaviour A - thats always worked in the past and so dont want to learn behaviour B because they have never had to. It doesn't make it right by a long shot, you shouldn't have to be the parent in all of this. Good luck. Also I like the screaming so the neighbours might hear thing.

If only I HAD neighbors =P which I don't. Plus the whole "You can't get a haircut just because I want you to grow your hair out long" Type thing really bugs the crap out of me too. I'm not a Barbie styling head.

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It’s unfortunate that you are subjected to that kind of ignorant behavior. The agony of having acne is painful enough, and to have your moral and emotional support downtrodden by your own parent is disturbing to say the least. Don’t let the audacity of her actions and misguided beliefs affect what you have learned and your view of people and the world.

When the time comes, you’ll be independent and live the way you want to live without immediate fear of someone touching your face. ;)

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