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i'm sick of feeling this way. i mean i've had this shit since 4th grade. and still, it seems like there's very, very few people in highschool that have actual acne. yeah, there's people that get a pimple every other month, but hardly anyone that actually has to suffer like this. so when everyone says "oh everyone gets pimples" i just want to smack them because they don't get it. i have one friend who has acne too and it feels awesome to talk to her about stuff.

anyway. i'm going to dinner with my boyfriend and his family friday for his birthday. and i'm fucking breaking out. i was decent for the past like week thanks to the sun and stuff but now i break out because it's been raining and i can't tan. i hate tanning religiously just to keep my skin okay. and i know that when school starts again and i wont get to tan anymore, i'm just gonna be horrible again. i'm sick of waking up every morning with like a ton of new zits, and when i wash my face feeling all the bumps.

my stupid regimen is like working. but it's slow. and i know i need to add something in to actually help. but then i remember that my skin is so freaking sensitive that anything new will break it out to the max. and anyway, this is probably all stress and hormones anyway. but the last time i asked my dad if i could get birth control, he said "you just wanna have sex." no dad, i dont.

i feel so ugly, and so worthless, and no matter how many times people say i look pretty, it doesn't matter. because they don't know how much makeup i pack on, and they don't know how much i cry because i can't control this. how hard it is to watch what i eat and drink so much water, which doesn't seem to help anyway.

i hurt so much inside.

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First of all, I noted that you do have friend(s) to talk to, as well as a boyfriend. That's really important I think, to be able to share your deepest feelings about yourself with other people. I think that's really good and theraputic. Second of all (and this is just my own theory), it's not the acne itself that makes anyone ugly, it's the social anxiety that eventually comes with it. Studies show that those with acne, children and adults alike, get social anxiety once they realize the acne isn't short-term.

Always be aware that you are NOT ugly, worthless, or anything else. Always be aware that you have loved ones and friends to talk to and confide in, and to share your experiences with. Sitting down with my best friend last year and talking to him about me starting anti-depressants and how I felt about my acne was one of the better talks I've ever had. I always felt too "strong" to take an A-D, and once I finally got started it really shifted some things and put other things in perspective for me. I don't want to turn this topic into my own soapbox, but I just wanted to share my own experiences with you.

If your regimen is working, and your friends are there for you, and your boyfriend is understanding, then it sounds like you're well on your way to not only beating your acne, but all the negative aspects that go with it. It sounds like you're underestimating yourself and your regimen. Keep it up and keep updating us with your regimen and feelings! I for one want to hear about them!

Oh, and I agree, regimens are too slow. But hang in there!

Edited by Thanat0s
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well at least you have a friend that has suffered with acne.you can talk openly about acne with her :)

i have none,and when i try to talk about it,they always act like they know a lot but actually they don't.

-______-

and you have a boyfriend!someone who loves you for who you are,no matter what you look like.

i know how it feels like.seriously,i do.i cry when i wash my makeup off.if only i could be bare-skinned all the time....but i can't.because i have acne.and i've learned that i should work WITH my skin,not against it....i started feeling so much better :)

everything happens slowly.i mean,Rome wasn't built in a day,right?so you just gotta be patient and stick with it,and dont give up!at the end of the tunnel (a very,very long tunnel) is your perfect skin :)

at the moment,all we have is our confidence.so be happy and let it shine through :D

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