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this is probably like an "uh duhhhh" kinda question, but have any of you felt like the guy/girl you liked didnt like you purely because you have acne.... like lets say they love EVERYTHING about you and seem into you (speaking from personal experience obvy) .. but yet they werent into you, and you felt like it MUST be because of your skin.... have you ever felt like that? it hurts :(

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Yes! Without having acne I feel as if the girl I like would be perfect with me because we used to get along really well, now people are going off too different college's we don't really talk much :redface: She used to try and drop hints to help with my acne (I guess she didn't want to offend me?) which I thought was really kind. Acne is the only barrier keeping me from even talking with the opposite sex and it sucks that I have no chance with her now :wall: Is that sort of what you mean? :eh:

Edited by GoGoPlums
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Oh yes! In fact, I know we would have been perfect for each other if not for acne!! :(

Of course I might have been delusional in some of those times, imagining something that isn't really there, but I can't be fuzzyheaded ALL the time, can I?

Edited by TRussell
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Yes! Without having acne I feel as if the girl I like would be perfect with me because we used to get along really well, now people are going off too different college's we don't really talk much :redface: She used to try and drop hints to help with my acne (I guess she didn't want to offend me?) which I thought was really kind. Acne is the only barrier keeping me from even talking with the opposite sex and it sucks that I have no chance with her now :wall: Is that sort of what you mean? :eh:

yeah thats exactly what i mean. like as much i hate to say it i really feel like some people cant get past the acne :/ ..... when your skin is bad its hard enough to talk to ANYONE but especially the opposite sex and ESPECIALLY someone youre interesred in.

but its comforting to know that not everyone is like that and there will be that person who just sees YOU and not just what covers you.

i know its hard to believe, but its true... at least i think. im still living half my life in theory lol

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Oh yes! In fact, I know we would have been perfect for each other if not for acne!! :(

Of course I might have been delusional in some of those times, imagining something that isn't really there, but I can't be fuzzyheaded ALL the time, can I?

yeah i agree, sometimes i think its all in our silly lil heads.... but yeah i imagine sometimes it is true. i guess we just have to think that person is missing out and maybe isnt worth out time anyways?.... but thats hard to think that way.

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I always am so grateful for my boyfriend, he says he doesnt really notice it. Thing is I dont think I would judge anyone as shallow ifthey weren't interested because if acne. Part of why we get with someone is because of the way they look and there are some dealbreakers. Its just good for everyone that not everyones deal breakers are the same. Ill be honest, I really liked this guy I met when I was single. He was sweet, funny, considerate and we shared a similar wavelength. I found him attractive to a point but (and i brace myself for abuse as I admit this) he was too "big" for me. He was noticably and considerably overweight and I knew that in the beginning that the novelty of any relationship would have made me overlook this but I know myself well enough to know it would be a problem for me eventually. I decided that was MY issue and didn't need to be his. I decided he deserved to be with someone that liked him as he was. I know I would want him to loose weight and that sort of decision needed to come from him. I stopped anything before it started and yeah it made me sad but it was for the best. Weight is my dealbreaker, someone elses may be skin condition. We all have preferences. Though my current boyfriend has develped a bit of a weight issue but I am still attracted to him. I want to be with someone who will want to be fit and healthy with me and we are trying to eat healthily together and we are enjoying it. I know deep down if he decided to just give up and got really really big I may have an issue there but he doesnt have that type of personality and thats why we click. We are both into self improvement in a big way, its something we share. People can't control what they find attractive, I have a friend who couldn't stand to be with a short man (I love short guys :D), some guys love pale skinned girls and find tanned girls tarty/leathery, some dislike gingers??... etc etc. As acne sufferers we will all (hopefully) end up with someone whose attraction priorities don't include skin conditions. its just a shame our "issue" is something that is much harder to control than weight or style. me? I like short guys with dark eyes/hair, intelligence, creativity and excessive weight is my looks dealbreaker.

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Yes! Without having acne I feel as if the girl I like would be perfect with me because we used to get along really well, now people are going off too different college's we don't really talk much :redface: She used to try and drop hints to help with my acne (I guess she didn't want to offend me?) which I thought was really kind. Acne is the only barrier keeping me from even talking with the opposite sex and it sucks that I have no chance with her now :wall: Is that sort of what you mean? :eh:

yeah thats exactly what i mean. like as much i hate to say it i really feel like some people cant get past the acne :/ ..... when your skin is bad its hard enough to talk to ANYONE but especially the opposite sex and ESPECIALLY someone youre interesred in.

but its comforting to know that not everyone is like that and there will be that person who just sees YOU and not just what covers you.

i know its hard to believe, but its true... at least i think. im still living half my life in theory lol

:lol: Well hopefully we'll both find that person one day :pray:

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I always am so grateful for my boyfriend, he says he doesnt really notice it. Thing is I dont think I would judge anyone as shallow ifthey weren't interested because if acne. Part of why we get with someone is because of the way they look and there are some dealbreakers. Its just good for everyone that not everyones deal breakers are the same. Ill be honest, I really liked this guy I met when I was single. He was sweet, funny, considerate and we shared a similar wavelength. I found him attractive to a point but (and i brace myself for abuse as I admit this) he was too "big" for me. He was noticably and considerably overweight and I knew that in the beginning that the novelty of any relationship would have made me overlook this but I know myself well enough to know it would be a problem for me eventually. I decided that was MY issue and didn't need to be his. I decided he deserved to be with someone that liked him as he was. I know I would want him to loose weight and that sort of decision needed to come from him. I stopped anything before it started and yeah it made me sad but it was for the best. Weight is my dealbreaker, someone elses may be skin condition. We all have preferences. Though my current boyfriend has develped a bit of a weight issue but I am still attracted to him. I want to be with someone who will want to be fit and healthy with me and we are trying to eat healthily together and we are enjoying it. I know deep down if he decided to just give up and got really really big I may have an issue there but he doesnt have that type of personality and thats why we click. We are both into self improvement in a big way, its something we share. People can't control what they find attractive, I have a friend who couldn't stand to be with a short man (I love short guys :D), some guys love pale skinned girls and find tanned girls tarty/leathery, some dislike gingers??... etc etc. As acne sufferers we will all (hopefully) end up with someone whose attraction priorities don't include skin conditions. its just a shame our "issue" is something that is much harder to control than weight or style. me? I like short guys with dark eyes/hair, intelligence, creativity and excessive weight is my looks dealbreaker.

yeah i agree that not everyone who isnt attracted to you b/c of your acne has to be shallow... i kinda meant thats what we can tell ourselves to get over it (wheather thats good or bad who knows).... haha funny you should mention short guys cuz i cant stand em! lol and theyre drawn to me cuz im only 5'1 haha... but i like guys who are about 6', yeah i'm a whole lotta crazy. but i get where youre coming from 100%. and im glad you and your bf are perfectly paired :)

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You will be just fine in the future. Need not worry :)

Take these kind of things with a "grain of salt" so to speak as you are far too good to be brought down psychologically by it ^_^

Fact is that anyone willing to judge you in that regard is just not worth your time and emotional investment at all.

Pick yourself up and keep your head held high.

Edited by Jxr
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yeah i agree that not everyone who isnt attracted to you b/c of your acne has to be shallow... i kinda meant thats what we can tell ourselves to get over it (wheather thats good or bad who knows).... haha funny you should mention short guys cuz i cant stand em! lol and theyre drawn to me cuz im only 5'1 haha... but i like guys who are about 6', yeah i'm a whole lotta crazy. but i get where youre coming from 100%. and im glad you and your bf are perfectly paired :)

Thanks

There will be someone out there for you, the right person will have to be someone who doesn't care about acne. Just as that guy I liked will meet probably someone hot and a lil' chunky soon enough (I will be happy for him when he does). Luckily there are somehow loads of people who couldn't give a crap about acne.

I have had acne for years (plus the low self esteem that goes with it) but still I have been in three long term relationships, 2 6 month relationships are my fair share of dates (plus rejected many come-ons)..... right I'm not actually trying to brag there :S my point is that from this I have to draw the conclusion that there must be many many guys and girls out there who give not a shite about acne.

out of all those people who dont give a poop theye must be someone you can click with, its just a matter of putting yourself out there, getting on with your life and remembering all your good points as well as every people who has eyed you up/asked you out etc xx

But yeah rejection (or lack of move making) may have nothing to do with your skin or it may have everything to do with it. If a guy rejected me because I was short, pale, spotty english, short haired or cause I like cheese and salad cream sandwiches (I miss those...) I may have to conclude it was a bad match anyway. If a guy is shy then maybe its more about you being more approachable? Try reading the "he's just not that into you" book... totally helped me and changed my life 100% for the better... it takes years to master those skills but so worth it. Very empowering.

Rejection is frustrating but I remind myself of people I have turned down due to not feeling the physical attraction for one reason or another. I think the thing I would say is that as much as it is satisfying to conclude that someone is shallow or not looking at the "real you", I think its much more emotionally healthy to acknowledge that romantic love is NOT a platonic exersize. Physical attraction IS involved and that is very very individual.

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yeah i totally agree, and it probably what id say to someone myself (why is it so hard to apply our own advice? lol).... but yeah thanks for the support guys!

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I never really feel this way, and I think it's because I'm around a lot of people with acne now. I see a lot of girls with acne, some probably in the moderate range and I still find them suuuper attractive. I don't think I'm great looking guy to begin with, so it's easy to blame my whole face instead especially because I have pretty mild acne now except for my bacne (Whole 'nother story there)

But besides that agree with Jxr :)

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Guest basketballlexie

YES! Well sorta... You could say i felt less "wanted." And there for less confidence. :(

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I never really feel this way, and I think it's because I'm around a lot of people with acne now. I see a lot of girls with acne, some probably in the moderate range and I still find them suuuper attractive. I don't think I'm great looking guy to begin with, so it's easy to blame my whole face instead especially because I have pretty mild acne now except for my bacne (Whole 'nother story there)

But besides that agree with Jxr :)

i'm glad you've never felt that way, but hey dont be blaming your whole face instead either, thats not gonna get you anywhere.

i think the main thing for everyone is to know that confidence (not cockiness) is attractive... and i know i know how the heck are we suppose feel confident if were not?!... but maybe its a fake it til ya make it kinda thing? *shrugs* thats my best guess lol

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I know how feel....this guy and me have lots of things in common and lots of differences that make it interesting...we always hang out, were good friends, hes said things that make it seem like he wants to ask me out but then he never does and he tries to help me with me skin and tells me I'm pretty but my skin is stubborn and since other than me the only girls he calls pretty are flawless skinned girls I know my acne is stopping him from really wanting me :( and I know my acne is stopping me from being the kind of girl that I need to be to be in a relationship (confident, happy)

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I know how feel....this guy and me have lots of things in common and lots of differences that make it interesting...we always hang out, were good friends, hes said things that make it seem like he wants to ask me out but then he never does and he tries to help me with me skin and tells me I'm pretty but my skin is stubborn and since other than me the only girls he calls pretty are flawless skinned girls I know my acne is stopping him from really wanting me :( and I know my acne is stopping me from being the kind of girl that I need to be to be in a relationship (confident, happy)

i wish i could have a happy answer for you, but because you have the same problem i do, im at quite a loss... but maybe it isnt your skin, maybe he's afraid to tell you he likes you... or maybe not. and while i know it hurts, and its hard to be confident and happy, thats what we have to keep reaching for. and look at it this way; there is nooooo oneee on this planet that is 100% confident or 100% happy... so everyone has to keep trying... its just that with people like us, sometimes we have to try harder than others, which in itself can be discouraging. but keep your chin up!

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I know how feel....this guy and me have lots of things in common and lots of differences that make it interesting...we always hang out, were good friends, hes said things that make it seem like he wants to ask me out but then he never does and he tries to help me with me skin and tells me I'm pretty but my skin is stubborn and since other than me the only girls he calls pretty are flawless skinned girls I know my acne is stopping him from really wanting me :( and I know my acne is stopping me from being the kind of girl that I need to be to be in a relationship (confident, happy)

i wish i could have a happy answer for you, but because you have the same problem i do, im at quite a loss... but maybe it isnt your skin, maybe he's afraid to tell you he likes you... or maybe not. and while i know it hurts, and its hard to be confident and happy, thats what we have to keep reaching for. and look at it this way; there is nooooo oneee on this planet that is 100% confident or 100% happy... so everyone has to keep trying... its just that with people like us, sometimes we have to try harder than others, which in itself can be discouraging. but keep your chin up!

It is hard.....and I've had to try to be happy my whole life....but I know one day I won't have to try anymore I'll just be happy.....I was unhappy before acne so after acne it was just harder but I'm gonna keep trying until I'm actually happy one day....

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I know how feel....this guy and me have lots of things in common and lots of differences that make it interesting...we always hang out, were good friends, hes said things that make it seem like he wants to ask me out but then he never does and he tries to help me with me skin and tells me I'm pretty but my skin is stubborn and since other than me the only girls he calls pretty are flawless skinned girls I know my acne is stopping him from really wanting me :( and I know my acne is stopping me from being the kind of girl that I need to be to be in a relationship (confident, happy)

i wish i could have a happy answer for you, but because you have the same problem i do, im at quite a loss... but maybe it isnt your skin, maybe he's afraid to tell you he likes you... or maybe not. and while i know it hurts, and its hard to be confident and happy, thats what we have to keep reaching for. and look at it this way; there is nooooo oneee on this planet that is 100% confident or 100% happy... so everyone has to keep trying... its just that with people like us, sometimes we have to try harder than others, which in itself can be discouraging. but keep your chin up!

It is hard.....and I've had to try to be happy my whole life....but I know one day I won't have to try anymore I'll just be happy.....I was unhappy before acne so after acne it was just harder but I'm gonna keep trying until I'm actually happy one day....

you took the words right outta my mouth.

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I know how feel....this guy and me have lots of things in common and lots of differences that make it interesting...we always hang out, were good friends, hes said things that make it seem like he wants to ask me out but then he never does and he tries to help me with me skin and tells me I'm pretty but my skin is stubborn and since other than me the only girls he calls pretty are flawless skinned girls I know my acne is stopping him from really wanting me :( and I know my acne is stopping me from being the kind of girl that I need to be to be in a relationship (confident, happy)

i wish i could have a happy answer for you, but because you have the same problem i do, im at quite a loss... but maybe it isnt your skin, maybe he's afraid to tell you he likes you... or maybe not. and while i know it hurts, and its hard to be confident and happy, thats what we have to keep reaching for. and look at it this way; there is nooooo oneee on this planet that is 100% confident or 100% happy... so everyone has to keep trying... its just that with people like us, sometimes we have to try harder than others, which in itself can be discouraging. but keep your chin up!

It is hard.....and I've had to try to be happy my whole life....but I know one day I won't have to try anymore I'll just be happy.....I was unhappy before acne so after acne it was just harder but I'm gonna keep trying until I'm actually happy one day....

you took the words right outta my mouth.

i hope you find your happy soon :) and hopefully i'll find mine too

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Yeah there was this girl I liked, she was cute, we had similar interests, and she told me I was funny. I don't blame her for not liking me in a "romantic sense" though, cause my face looked awful (still does, even after accutane). And face it, the physical attraction needs to be there, otherwise I would probably date guys.

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I know how feel....this guy and me have lots of things in common and lots of differences that make it interesting...we always hang out, were good friends, hes said things that make it seem like he wants to ask me out but then he never does and he tries to help me with me skin and tells me I'm pretty but my skin is stubborn and since other than me the only girls he calls pretty are flawless skinned girls I know my acne is stopping him from really wanting me :( and I know my acne is stopping me from being the kind of girl that I need to be to be in a relationship (confident, happy)

i wish i could have a happy answer for you, but because you have the same problem i do, im at quite a loss... but maybe it isnt your skin, maybe he's afraid to tell you he likes you... or maybe not. and while i know it hurts, and its hard to be confident and happy, thats what we have to keep reaching for. and look at it this way; there is nooooo oneee on this planet that is 100% confident or 100% happy... so everyone has to keep trying... its just that with people like us, sometimes we have to try harder than others, which in itself can be discouraging. but keep your chin up!

It is hard.....and I've had to try to be happy my whole life....but I know one day I won't have to try anymore I'll just be happy.....I was unhappy before acne so after acne it was just harder but I'm gonna keep trying until I'm actually happy one day....

you took the words right outta my mouth.

i hope you find your happy soon :) and hopefully i'll find mine too

aw thank you, and i hope the same for you!

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Yeah there was this girl I liked, she was cute, we had similar interests, and she told me I was funny. I don't blame her for not liking me in a "romantic sense" though, cause my face looked awful (still does, even after accutane). And face it, the physical attraction needs to be there, otherwise I would probably date guys.

yeah i agree that physcial attraction needs to be there... but i think someone still can be physically attracted to you, but still be put off by the acne...... your last sentence made me laugh by the way haha

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