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/Please skip to the blue bit, the rest is boring! /

Hey Hope everyone’s okay. Something has been bothering me a lot. :confused: And I‘ve decided to ask you guys for help. It’s unlike me but hey I don’t mind sharing a bit of my weirdness.

I’m not sure if anyone else has the same strange problem. I imagine my skin to be horrible when I go out. Particularly, when a girl is closing in on me. The closer she gets to me the more ugly I become. It’s pretty scary. Most of the time I just do my best to be unnoticed, and when that fails I ignore her except with me It’s never that simple. I start acting

Really weird. Strange body movements, rubbing my cheek with the back of my hand, I start feeling hot my coordination becomes spazzed and my voice goes so low that It’s hard to speak. I either sound like a mouse or an excited horse. I become so nervous.

I’m worried I don’t want to keep this up any longer. My skin is actually pretty good. Yet these past 2 years I’ve slowly started to feel uglier and uglier. I have mild non-inflamed acne, some spots which pop up now and then, very few hard to notice scars apparently I can only notice them and pinkish cheeks random, right now their fine. I’ve been very fortunate, almost every doctor that I’ve seen (expect one who was a scam) have all had nothing but good advice for me. Nearly all have said really nice things, compliments. I pushed to see a derm last year but my Gps refused. I somehow managed to convince one of them. I told the derm about how my skin, with minor imperfections( Even I know this yet I struggle, most days, some days I’m okay) He said I sense there’s something else bothering you in your life. I’m not sure how he knew. I know he found it hard to believe that my skin was the problem, just as the GPs did. Counsellor, Psychiatrist not the first time in these past 2 years was suggested. My eyes are all wonky from not sleeping well. I swear it hurts just to have them. They feel strained. I used to have big fresh feeling eyes. Sorry, I’m complaining. I hate to let others see me upset, so I do my best and remain happy as I know it will cause them distress to see me unhappy. I’m so blessed for everything I have. My loved ones, my beautiful family. Last year I was so gone, My room even wanted me to get out more often, I swear my bed would shove me off after a while of resting on my belly. Pretty uncomfortable but it helps lol. Plus listening to some Duncan Sheik whilst my face is buried in my duvet adds to the pain+hope!

I don’t feel the same way I used to. Now if a girl smiles at me I don’t smile back. :( I feel bad afterwards, because the least I can do is smile back at her. After spending most of my days indoors last year, I never expected that I’d receive any kind of attention once I finally started getting out of the house more often. I really couldn’t believe that they’d find me attractive. Optometrist! :) The only thing that made sense.

I know it’s wrong, but if a girl smiles at me or I get some kind of attention it registers as, I look healthy today. I’m on holiday which is a good thing cause I’m out more often, I’m feeling better today. I still have this imaginary horrible skin. Quick check in the mirror, well hello there! I’ve left the house I’m in some overpriced obese mall, uh oh pretty girl ahead just walk past and ignore too hard she’s smiling we’ve made eye contact ouch! Just bumped into something, I’m rubbing my knee I turn around should I shouldn’t I Xs 100 It’s too late,… I can always follow her B.O fumes. None of that was live by the way, just a rough example of what’s been happening to me for ages.

I’m hoping the ladies here can help me. I’m dumb. Slow to catch on. Never been good at reading women and I don’t want that to change. I love the manoeuvres you lot pull off like the hair flicking thing! Asking for some kind of hair flicking duel hey? Right now my hairs not as long but I can come back and we can flick until someone can’t flick no more. I guess when it’s obvious it’s obvious. Maybe not always! I remember once this girl shoulder bumped me at some outdoor market place. The first time I didn’t think much of it maybe she slipped lol then another shoulder bump which made me lose my balance. I still didn’t completely catch on maybe she thought she was at a rock concert. Anyways after that she gently came over so that she was connected to me side by side, like glue. Then I realized (I think) that she was trying to get my attention. It was pretty funny very sweet of her. She was really hot as well, body temp wise. Fever may have explained her moves.

Milano Italy earlier this year, 3 day holiday. Evening time scoccer game aka football.

Taken my seat, pretty good view. Still some time before kick off. It’s freezing cold. Funky music’s being played before the match. Girl walks below picks an empty seat directly in the row below me. A lot of empty seats but she’s seated directly below mine well almost one seat to the right. The seats are built on steps so the distance is extremely close, not much leg space at all. So I’m trying hard not to notice her hoping she doesn’t too lol. She turns around full 360 and is now looking right at me. What the. I’m still seated and she’s standing. We were practically in each others face that’s how close it felt, okay maybe not that close. I turn my head a tiny bit to the right, for a second we make eye contact. Whoa she looks intent on inflicting some serious damage to me. No smile no movement just her eyes locked on. Serious I’m a lil worried but all I can think of is how fugly I must look, even though earlier before leaving my hotel for the game I looked fine, skin was so good! So my minds lying and tricking me into thinking I look hideous. I’m uncomfortable. I can still see her, same stance, is she feeling alright lol. Ignore tactics aren’t helping I know she’s been their for like half an hour, at least it seems that long. I can’t sit still I’m rubbing my cheeks again. I'm rubbish at guessing ages, she was young A little younger than me (mid20s), so maybe 21-24!?

She’s turning around phew I thought that was never going to end. A guy comes over and they embrace. They kiss with a lot of ooo la la, aint nothing pg13 about it. My idiot body starts heating up, chemical reactions which I can’t control to save my life. I don’t know why but I look up, they are still kissing I’m spazzing out glancing up at her back n forth just as their finished she glances over and I happen to look right back at her. I’m not quite sure what the hells going on! I quickly break eye contact; she still has that same I’m coming for you look.

Loud music is still being played around the stadium. Players are warming up so game should start soon. She starts to dance! Ballerina- belly dancer- rap video. None of them, possibly how a bumblebee would dance if it found some honey all for itself. Another 360 this time I manage not to look her in the eye, I can obviously still see her from my position. She’s facing me and continues dancing with less energy like she’s charging up for an attack of some sort Maybe she fancies me as crazy as it sounds. I ignore her. If it was the real me, how I was before I would’ve smiled at her in the beginning because it was really funny. After seeing she was with someone I wouldn’t have flirted consciously. When her partner came along and she kissed him then looked right at me, what the?

I’m confused. Her boyfriend, partner seemed completely oblivious as to what was going on. He didn’t notice her turning around after her bumble bee dance. Repeat at halftime, the dance followed by the 360 turn around eagle look, expect this time she had moved about 2 seats across right as she got in with no tickets along with her partner lol, the people who’d booked the seats were kind when they came they just stood, almost every one was standing. The game was good and the atmosphere was amazing, I was lost somewhere else. What do you guys reckon she was trying to tell me? I’m so weird! So I was attracted to her, she had an overpowering affect on me That’s all! If she did like me?????????? That was so wrong with her partner right next to her. The end! Embarrassed myself yet again but what the hey, hopefully you’ll find it funny when you picture it. <ahttp://static.acne.org/ipb_uploads/emoticons/default_smile.png' alt=':)'>

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How strange of her. I can't give you an answer, but dude, I LOVE your writing style. Go out and write a book. Like, now. Seriously.

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I either sound like a mouse or an excited horse. I become so nervous.

LOL!!!!

sorry had to laugh @ that line

nice way of writing too, you wrote it as in 1st person :)

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ItHurtsToLook: Yup, I’m sure something that was so natural to me will return. Otherwise I’m going to have to force a smile. Give a bugs bunny smile. ;D

CelloIsLove: lol What are you on :) U serious? Thank you so much. That’s so sweet and mental of you to say. One of the kindest things someone’s said to me, a trillion times better than appearance compliments. Thanks again you made me smile. But seriously my English language skills are awful; I’ve only gotten dumber with age. I’ve only read one book the entire way through that I can remember off. I get through the first few pages struggle to push them down, seriously has to be the most annoying part, I cant help but see how many pages in total...okay I’ve got a better way of doing this read the first sentence on the first page, pick any on middle and last sentence end page or just look at the front cover.

Yeah that was pretty strange of her. It’s not the first time lol, Weird stuff always happens to me. She wasn’t shy that’s for sure! I’m sure it’s a sign that I need to stop being so :( . All those smiles that I’ve ignored! Hopefully I’ll be myself again

David-: Thanks I’m glad you lolled! :) N’ I didn’t notice that I wrote in the 1st person. :blink:

Take care everyone.

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How strange of her. I can't give you an answer, but dude, I LOVE your writing style. Go out and write a book. Like, now. Seriously.

Agreed! You're very good. LOVE the writing. :D (and also, very strange of her but that just seemed so secondary to the enjoyment of your writing. :redface:)

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Wynne: Thank you. Really is a pleasant surprise to hear such lovely comments. My writing of all things. :confused: Thanks for your kind words. :)

bek_cogent : Magnetic! :D that’s the word. Must’ve been the fillings in our teeth. :)

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totally agree! judging by your awsum writing you seem like the type of guy any girl would bumblebee dance for (:

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Wynne: Thank you. Really is a pleasant surprise to hear such lovely comments. My writing of all things. :confused: Thanks for your kind words. :)

bek_cogent : Magnetic! :D that’s the word. Must’ve been the fillings in our teeth. :)

Haha I think it must have been!!

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I honestly skipped all the stuff from the beginning and went straight to the blue, I couldn't stop reading trying to see how it ended. Must say it was really entertaining, you have a way with words, didn't know if she was gonna smack you or plant a big one on you, lol. I'm going back to read the first part, I might get another laugh.

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