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Hey girl why don't you try accutane? It might work for you. I have moderate acne and I went on it. When I mean moderate I mean few bumps, just more of the clogged pores nothing serious, but I'm into accutane 4 months now and I broke out really bad at the end of month 2 to month 3 1/2 and I'm still breaking out. I have a boyfriend too, and it's not easy seeing him with these breakouts as well, but you just have to be comfortable with him. It's just superficial bumps that will eventually go away and beauty is only skin deep. It's your personality and everything else that counts so much more. I just straight up tell my boyfriend, just deal with it for a couple months because accutane is a gradual process and he knows that it is only a temporary thing.

Good luck, cheer up, and look into different treatments :)

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when were having sex he he doesnt get to see my face and why and am i not comfortble with etc but i am i just get paranoid. can you believe i cover his face with a pillow while were having sex even now!

That is soooooo messed up. I mean. I have acne so I kind of understand your situation but no way im putting myself in that kind of relationship. It could almost be considered abusive as you may be leaving him feeling neglected which may make him wonder whether there is something wrong with him. Thats why i decided to work out my issues before I even consider dating.

Edited by Alex_09
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it does sound pretty messed up but at the same time i completely understand how you feel. ive felt the need to push people away and ive ended up a pretty lonely guy.

i think you need to talk to him about it and hear what he has to say. if he doesnt have a problem with it, trust him and give him a chance.

go on the accutane if its bothering you. its definitely reduced my acne.

anyhoo all the best.

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i feel some comments made are harsh obv its taken alot for you to write all that down.

i think you should just tell him how you feel, you say you get some attention so surely that does mean youre attractive and he must love you to be with you for nearly 2 years, be proud of that girl and alll the best from me 2

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not being harsh, just honest.

i agree, we arent on here to be nasty. obviously some responses are more helpful than others, but on the whole, i think we've all given some great advice.

i think acne/scars have given us all weird quirks. i cant kiss anyone with my eyes open and if we're ever having sex - its the lights off !

it all comes down to low self esteem.

Edited by sydney_fellow
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I think you are going just a bit over the top, relax a little.

He knows what you look like, he has already checked you out and he likes what he sees. How do i know ? because he is your boyfriend.

Exactly!!! Listen, makeup can only do so much. If you are pretty, it enhances those features. It does and cannot make someone completely unattractive attractive. You have him, girl!! He sees you and likes what he sees, or else he would never have even approached you or be your boyfriend.

You probably look just the same without makeup. If he doesnt like you without it, then congratulations, you weeded out the asshole, superficial men of the world and you move on

You are hot to him!! Believe it!

Lisa

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I think you are going just a bit over the top, relax a little.

He knows what you look like, he has already checked you out and he likes what he sees. How do i know ? because he is your boyfriend.

Exactly!!! Listen, makeup can only do so much. If you are pretty, it enhances those features. It does and cannot make someone completely unattractive attractive. You have him, girl!! He sees you and likes what he sees, or else he would never have even approached you or be your boyfriend.

You probably look just the same without makeup. If he doesnt like you without it, then congratulations, you weeded out the asshole, superficial men of the world and you move on

You are hot to him!! Believe it!

Lisa

i agree! i was also gonna say makeup can only do so much. and yeah maybe we look better with it on (i know i look pretty darn right trashy)... but when ive gone on trips and had to get up and 4:00 in the morning in my pj's with no makeup and ride in a car with a guy who liked me... guess what? he STILL found me attractive (i know, shocking to me too).... i think you need to take steps. step one: look at him when he talks to you, chances are if your looking in his eyes he'll be looking at yours and may not pay too much attention to the parts of your face youre not proud of. step 2: that whole pillow thing during sex has got to stop. step 3: now dont freak out you need to let him see you without makeup, heck you can even warn him first, but id bet he'll stay with you and still find you attractive, you need to be honest with him and tell him this is who you are, tell him how you reallyyyyyy feel.

hope you gather the strength you need to do so, i mean look on the bright side; you HAVE a guy that LOVES you... not everyone is that lucky

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I think you should just stop the nonsense.

Guys are simple-- if he didn't think you were bangable, he wouldn't continually bang you.

He wants you, no matter how "bad" you think you look.

Just keep taking care of your skin and yourself.

And work on your confidence.

Thrill him and he won't be noticin' red marks.

My two cents. ;)

Good luck!

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OP, your story really does cut deep to me because i know EXACTLY how you feel. Like you i'm extremely self-conscience of my skin/ moderate acne and take foreverrr to put on my makeup in the morning. I'm always late for work because of it!

I've gotten a little bit better recently. Of course i still have my bad days, but baby steps, right? Anyway, the part of your story that got to me the most was how you said you used a pillow during sex. Ehh I can't say I've had exactly the same expereince but i do get extremelyy paranoid during sex.. because of course if you're self conscience just having people look at you, sex is 100x that! I only feel comfortable undressing in the dark. In any case, there was a guy i met last summer through a mutual friend. We had a little "thing" for awhile; ended up having sex a few times. I'll never forget one of the last times i spoke to him. He called me and basically said i should have more self confidence and that it was a hugee turn off that i wouldnt let him see me naked during daytime sex. :redface:

Maybe I was pushing him away with my self consciencesness? After that, he definately wasn't much interested in me anymore. I'm really starting to realize that disliking yourself --> others disliking you, which sucks because of course you want the exact opposite!!

Long and uninteresting story i know, but i read your post and related to it so much that i felt like i had to say something. Recently i've been on some new meds and i feel alottt better about myself, not perfect of course -- and i still most certainly have my bad days -- but def better. try getting some professional help maybe. It's helped me a bit.. of course feeling better is a journey, not immediate, and i've found that it's really best to just know/accept that you'll always have sometimes when you naturally feel down about yourself cause of your hormones or a trigger or whatever. just getting on the right track can make a huge difference. I really hope everything works out.

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first of all thank you so much for your replies everyone!! realyy it means alot.

me and my bf had a "talk" and we obv talked about what he liked and what he didnt like about me. and it really made me believe that he does love me becasue no ones ever beenn so considerate to me ever, hes so understanding. well basically we went out and also had a really good day with dinner and everything and he was being so sweet to me and sed the he thought i was beautiful and that he loves looking at me no matter what. and i could tell for the first time that i was being paranoid and i HAD to do something about it. . ive told him am paranoid with him looking at my face and so he slowly went through it with me like looking at me when im not noticing and then you know maintaining eye contactand. well we obviously did it and i felt confident i dont have the whole body issue thing i love my body and he does too so lights on is a no problem for me its just you know when im thinking hes looking at my face. anyways were working on that together and he said that aslong as i try hes happy. also i didnt do the pillow thing thank god!!! lol really i feel happy because i dont feel the need to do that anymore and although i may feel uncomfortable without makeup atleast i dont have to use the stupid pillow and i can look at him. next=work on putting les and less makeup i mean i dont put alot i dont put foundation all over my face just on problem areas and my skins becoming better so hopefully i wont feel the need to enhance my eyes with eyeliner and use blusher .but lets see ill be taking little steps and work on my confidence along with my acne and red marks.

but really thanks for your kind words everyone :D

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Guys are simple-- if he didn't think you were bangable, he wouldn't continually bang you.

Haha, as a guy I can tell you that is true. Shallow, but true.

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perhaps you could test him out and straight tell him whats going on, if he doesnt understand, he may not be the person you want to be with, and you may even be glad he is gone after you tell him.

I would the think you need a person who is right FOR YOU, and not try to be the right person for someone else. Of course you do not want to deliberatly sabotage a relationship, thats not what im suggesting, you may have acne, but you can still have standards in your life, make sure he is up to your standards. Having standards is actually pretty attractive in and of itself.

The goal is to find out if he is right for you, you are concerned with he is right for you, not whether you are right for him. Its about you, you are valuable.

EDIT- oh, didnt see you worked things out, well my advice still stands, and good luck.

Edited by AutonomousOne1980
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