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Guest frogskinshoelace

Im pretty f'd up from this

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Guest frogskinshoelace

Ill try to keep this short.

First some background. Im a 20 year old male, heading towards my 3rd year of college. I started getting acne when I was about 12 or 13. That was pretty moderate until I was 16, when it became mild. However, every single zit I get leaves one of those pesky red marks behind. After 7 years of acne, my face was littered with red marks. I have one of the most severe cases Ive ever seen.

At first, I hated it of course, but I figured I could live with it and make the best of it, and it would eventually go away. I did this for a while, and grew to be a very unhappy person. I started using cover up (yes, Im a male) to hide that shit. It was just a "temporary solution", or so I thought. I got in to the trend of covering it up, that if I stopped wearing cover up, people would think, wtf!?!? every time they saw me. This made me go from unhappy to miserable in my upper class high school days.

Then I went to college. I spent hundreds of dollars on products to help my red marks and I never saw any results. My face was almost more red than white. Last year, I just stopped everything. I sunk in to full blown depression. I stopped going to class, eating regularly, and hanging out with my friends and partying. I got a 1.5 gpa for the semester (When my gpa had been 3.3) I can't feel emotions anymore. Good emotions that is. When I go out in public and see people having fun and being happy, I get frustrated and anxious that I can't feel those emotions. I literally don't remember what happiness feels like, no matter how hard I try.

Ive been seeking treatment. About a month ago I started monodox/epiduo for my acne. 3 weeks ago, I started laser treatment for my red marks. My acne is completely gone, and my red marks are about 25% better after just 1 treatment. However, Im left with this fucked up mind. Ive completely shut my self out of the world. I go to work and keep to myself, come home, and go right in to my room. Its the only way I feel safe. I feel like fainting in public. One time, I actually did from feelings of anxiety and panic. Tomorrow, my sister is having an engagement party, which I said I will not be going to for said reasons. Everyone in my family is pissed. They keep telling me "Ive been through tough times too, so just go face the world!" They just dont get it.

Sorry for the long post, I dont know if anyone really cares. It just felt good to write it.

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It's tough going out after having bad acne and trying to redevelope confidence and social skills. In fact, I still struggle with it.

I'll probably get hated on for this, but I sunk myself into the world of pickup art. Nothing is more empowering than seeing yourself go from someone who can't even stutter out a word to a guy who is talking and having fun with a bunch of strangers in a club, a bar, or really anywhere.

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Seems like we have very similar backgrounds except I never used coverup or any that...just kinda dealt with it.

I never went to any kind of social events in high school at all....pretty much lost all the friends I gained from 1st to junior high. I was pretty socially awkward at that point.

In college, I just started FORCING myself to be in social situations. Being in those social situations improved my social skills. I started wanting to be in those situations. The only days I don't want to be in those situations nowadays is when my acne looks really bad.

Soo...the best advice I can give you is GO to your sisters engagement party. F*ck it..just go. Man the he// up and go. Go, don't make excuses. That's a pep talk there. She's your sister...you need to go. No excuses. Simply put, go. No way around it. Just go. You are going..end of story. Put that as your mindset (that you're going). Just chill out. You may end up meeting your future best friend or somethin. Don't go into it expecting this great time...just chill and whatever comes of it, comes of it.

You'll get better with social situations the more you put yourself out there. People aren't gods of conversation overnight. It takes practice. I've been promoting the he// out of this book since I joined these boards, but I'll give it another plug: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Such a good read....even the best of the best will learn something.

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My social life has suffered greatly because of this also. I have pretty much secluded myself from everyone and everything throughout high school. It's sad because, even when my skin is clear or finally on the road to being clear, it doesn't even matter anymore. It's not like you just bounce back and recover. This can screw you up for life. I can't be confident around anyone anymore. There was a point at which I would just walk away from conversations that included people I didn't know, especially boys. No one understands...everyone judges. I can't imagine what it would be like to have severe acne all the time. It wasn't like that for me. There was only one time where it was horrid & = no social life at all but even when it's not that bad, it's still bad. I just don't notice it until we all go into the bathroom and do our makeup or something. My situation has definitely become deeper than acne though. I wonder what someone I know would think if they read this...me talking about my feelings....hmm

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We seem to be in a similar situation. I'm an 18 year-old male, and I had acne/red marks for the past two years, which made me go into a state of extreme depression and experience suicidal thoughts. Eventually I solved my skin problems, and at the moment I have pretty much crystal clear skin. But unfortunately, I had been in the negative mindset for so long that even when the original problem that was making me feel depressed went away, I was still depressed. And I didn't understand why. Eventually I had to go on antidepressants.

Well, now I understand. In biological terms, the serotonin levels in your brain have been out of balance for so long, that even when the problem that was causing this imbalance goes away, it takes months and months for the imbalance to resolve itself. Going on antidepressants will solve your problem, in the sense that it will negate the side effects of this imbalance (your feelings of misery) while the imbalance corrects itself.

If you don't use antidepressants, then you'll have to wait about ~8 months (which is how long it takes for the serotonin imbalance to resolve itself) until you start feeling like a normal person again. Don't listen for a second to people saying stuff along the lines of 'all you need to do is get out there and live your life' or something like that. Depression doesn't work that way.

Edited by Beautiful Day

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Guest frogskinshoelace
Don't listen for a second to people saying stuff along the lines of 'all you need to do is get out there and live your life' or something like that. Depression doesn't work that way.

I hear you, and I dont take that advice. Anyone who thinks I can just go out and deal with it doesn't understand. Trying to go out and be happy and social is exactly what made me so empty, and made me suffer from social anxiety in the first place. I have been social up until this summer. I have a group of friends that I would normally hang out with. I just stopped, because hanging out with them, watching them laugh and have fun, makes me just get worse. I get frustrated and angry that I can't feel that. It comes so easy to them.

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Don't listen for a second to people saying stuff along the lines of 'all you need to do is get out there and live your life' or something like that. Depression doesn't work that way.

Yeah definitely just lock yourself up all day. That's a sure bet to feel better!

I don't want to turn this into a flame war, but coming from someone who was in the exact same situation as you both were (being depressed, not being able to be happy around others) I'd say I have a strong claim that throwing yourself out in social situations definitely will put you in a better mood and help your social skills out. I was miserable until I started going out trying to meet people and make new friends again. The important part is surrounding yourself with good people.

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Guest frogskinshoelace
Don't listen for a second to people saying stuff along the lines of 'all you need to do is get out there and live your life' or something like that. Depression doesn't work that way.

Yeah definitely just lock yourself up all day. That's a sure bet to feel better!

I don't want to turn this into a flame war, but coming from someone who was in the exact same situation as you both were (being depressed, not being able to be happy around others) I'd say I have a strong claim that throwing yourself out in social situations definitely will put you in a better mood and help your social skills out. I was miserable until I started going out trying to meet people and make new friends again. The important part is surrounding yourself with good people.

Id dont plan on staying like this forever. My treatment should be completed in August/September. By that time Ill be back at school in the swing of things. I just need this break.

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Yeah definitely just lock yourself up all day. That's a sure bet to feel better!

I actually spent the entire day in bed and I definitely feel better than if I had gotten up.

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Yeah definitely just lock yourself up all day. That's a sure bet to feel better!

I actually spent the entire day in bed and I definitely feel better than if I had gotten up.

Well technically, you don't really know that since you didn't get up lol

Staying inside can be a temporary fix, but over a long period of time keeping yourself inside and away from other people, you'll suffer even more depression than you are already. It's proven. Why do you think people need people to basically survive? If you were stranded on an island without other people you would most likely go insane according to most "experts." The trick is to surround yourself with good people who aren't going to depress you. I've done that for the most part...feels good.

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