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Miya

Feeling so depressed right now

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Urgh, my skin is getting worse and worse. I can't stand it anymore. I'm feeling so depressed right now. I'm so sick of acne and putting on makeup!! I have lost all my confidence and self esteem bc of stupid acne. For the past week i've been acting really cold and distant with my boyfriend, and trying to avoid him completely and just snapping at him and giving him attitude. I don;t know how to have a relationship when this stupid acne problem is eating me up and i hate myself for it!!

It's like sometimes i wish i could break up with him, or he could break up with me if i act out enough, so that i could take tiem to deal with my acne and my insecurities before i could be in a healthy relationship. It's so stupid i know, but urghh , i'm totallhy mesed up.

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Urgh, my skin is getting worse and worse. I can't stand it anymore. I'm feeling so depressed right now. I'm so sick of acne and putting on makeup!! I have lost all my confidence and self esteem bc of stupid acne. For the past week i've been acting really cold and distant with my boyfriend, and trying to avoid him completely and just snapping at him and giving him attitude. I don;t know how to have a relationship when this stupid acne problem is eating me up and i hate myself for it!!

It's like sometimes i wish i could break up with him, or he could break up with me if i act out enough, so that i could take tiem to deal with my acne and my insecurities before i could be in a healthy relationship. It's so stupid i know, but urghh , i'm totallhy mesed up.

Hi Miya,

I want you to know you're not alone, and that I truly know how you feel. I used to act very distant towards my fiance too when I had bad acne.

My fiance is very attractive, and I've always felt very lucky to be with him. I used to wonder if he would be with me if I wasn't attractive as well, but while having severe acne, it really confirmed he was with me for the right reasons. He saw how depressed I was, and how having acne was affecting EVERY aspect of my life. But he stuck by me, because he really loves me.

Even though I would never want to go through that period of my life again, I'm really grateful for how strong it made me. I actually wrote a list of all the positive things that resulted from having acne. I'd be happy to type that list out for you if you'd like to see it.

Long story short, I don't have acne anymore. I'm so grateful my skin is finally clear again. It not only increased my confidence level in my relationship, but more importantly in myself. You can read my blog on acne.org to get a better understanding of my acne experience.

Hang in there. Try to focus on things that don't involve what you look like (reading, writing, yoga)...I remember having to take continuing education classes, and I told my fiance I didn't think I could go, because I was so humiliated for my peers to see me with bad acne. He told me, "It's not a beauty contest babe. You're there to learn." He was right. I know that acne makes you want to hide in a corner and shut everyone out, but don't shut out those who really care about you or let it stop you from reaching your goals.

Hope this helps.

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It really helps a lot, thank you so much for your response! I don't think i could get to the point of being truly happy and confident until my skin is clear though, but at least i could be bearable to those around me and try not to let acne affect me so much.

I will take your advice and concentrate on other things besides acne. I just wish i could be one of those people that are strong and act like nothing is wrong even though they have acne. But i guess i'm too insecure to be that way so i'll just keep hiding behind my makeup. I'm going to try harder not to think about my acne too much.

I'm so happy for you that you have a wonderful fiance that loves you for you and is so understanding. I actually have tried to talk to my boyfriend about my acne and how much it bothers me, but it's like he doesn't want to hear it. He'll say things like, it's not that bad or try to change the subject. So i can't really vent my emotions regarding the insecurities and sadness i have over my skin because he doesn't want to hear it. He doesnt understand what a huge impact it has on me, he makes it seem so trivial so i'm embarassed to even bring the subject up to him. When i brought up the subject of accutane one time, he said "are you crazy" and was totally not supportive of it. So i decided against taking it. I brought up to him recently how i want to try colon cleansing (not telling him that i wanted to see if it'll help with my acne) and he went on and on about how ridiculous a concept it is.

But when i snap at him (mainly b/c i'm feeling bad about my acne) he'll wonder why, but yet i can't talk to him about my skin issues b/c he doesnt understand and doesn't really hear me out or try to be understanding or supportive. Maybe he just feels uncomfortable about the subject? I dont' know....i just know i do feel bad when i'm mean to him when a lot of the time he hasn't doen anything wrong and it's all because of the issues i haev with myself and my skin. It would help so much if i had someone to talk to that would understand and be supportive to me, i can't talk about this to anyone, not even my parents. I've tried talking to my mom about it but all she said was that i shouldn't let it bother me and that it's just superficial (and believe me my acne is pretty severe not like it's one or 2 pimples!!). It just makes me more sad/mad whenever i try to talk to eitehr of them about this because they just dismiss it as a non-issue, urggh.

Edited by Miya
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I can feel you. I felt the same way too when my acne broke out real bad and that time i was in a relationship too. I dont want too see him too because of this stupid acne. Good thing he broke up with me. nah. It hurt me ofcourse but it did me a favor though. I got a quality time for myself after that. 1 month after the break up I decided to try dans regimen (currently in day6 now) and it worked for me, my skin is getting better each day. anyway your relationship is a different story so it's up to you. If he really loves you,he will support you instead of breaking you. Goodluck and please dont lose hope in getting rid of your acne. cheers. :angel:

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[email protected], that's a really helpful post. Cheers for that=).

Miya, I'm going through the exact same thing, whenever I try to talk about my insecurities with acne, like my close friends, dad, and maid, they either try to avoid talking about it, go very little into it, or completely dismiss it, even though acne does get to me a lot. Don't know how many times I've broken down with tears because of my acne. Lost count of all the times it stopped me from going out even though I really wanted to. The thing is, my close friends have acne too. One friend has it worse cus she has it on her chest as well, but she sees it as a small problem. I think that the majority of people really do view it as being trivial, like your boyfriend and mom. I think the true repelling part is when our insecurities get to us. I'm trying to focus my mind on other things now too, like other people instead of my acne, and that's helping a lot. We need to fill our time up with other things so we don't think about this so much=/.

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