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Fraz_2010

Is acne scarring really so bad?

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I'll probably get shot down by some people with extremely negative comments, but here I go....

Is acne scarring really so bad?

I have 2 really good friends, both with horrendous scarring, they have poke marks all over their face.... and deep ones at that....

1 of my friends is like most of the people on here, he literally lets the scars take over his life, he doesn't go out much and he suffers from severe depression.

My other friend with scars (equally as bad), is a confident out going guy who dresses smart, takes care of himself and is a huge hit with the ladies.

My confident friend is in no way more attractive than my other friend, yet he gets so much more out of life (far more than the average person does).

Which got me thinking...

Is it not all a matter of perspective?

When you look at yourself in the mirror, don't you have a choice about how you view yourself as a person?

My friend with no confidence looks in the mirror and tells himself: "I have scars, people will never except me, my life is ruined....etc"

My confident friend who lives an excellent life looks at himself in the mirror and says to himself: "I have scars, they give me character, people like other people with character, so they have every reason to like me....etc"

If you could take a moment to think about this and ask yourself... "Couldn't my life be so much better if I could just change the way I percieve myself?".

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oh cant agree more with you, the confident guy who is out there living life is the way we should all be. i truly wish i could do that, but i do let my scarring get the better of me. changing is a lot more difficult than it sounds too.

btw i saw a pic of your skin. it looks great mate :)

Edited by sydney_fellow

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You have too many friends with Acne Scarring! I can't find any whatsoever!! Or at least someone who's got it bad as me.

You're young and I feel for you, but your not the worse by a long shot!

Edited by ScaredBad

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I think it is a matter of perspective, and changing your perspective on your scarring to a neutral or positive one seems to be the best way to stay sane.

Far too many people waste their lives wallowing in self-pity for whatever reason, and that is far more unattractive than acne scarring.

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I myself don't really have any friends with acne scarring. I have a couple friends with MINOR acne scars...but nothing really.

Perspective is everything...and your confident friend sounds like if he encounters an issue with someone looking at his scars etc...that he takes it in stride and doesn't give a s***.

Your unconfident friend and myself (sometimes) and others here....when they encounter something like that their insides feel like they are crumbling and falling apart...

It is a terrible feeling.

On another note I once met someone with acne scarring...in someways differeent and in some ways much worse than mine...and felt so awful for him. I just felt truly sympathetic for him.

Not that any of that is related.

On a final note...I'll say this.... All of us (or most of us) can probably find a way to be happy and be confident with a significant change in persepctive but this change is a LONG process for some of us.

Some of us a year, some of us 10-15 years. It is not overnight...but the more we keep giving excuses to ourselves the longer we will wait to feel free of this heavy burden.

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You have too many friends with Acne Scarring! I can't find any whatsoever!! Or at least someone who's got it bad as me.

You're young and I feel for you, but your not the worse by a long shot!

Thats because you don't analyze anybody elses face anywhere near as much as you analyze your own. Just like other people won't analyze your face as much as their own.

When we look in a mirror, we already know where all our faults are, but nobody else is going to stand so close to you and spend 5 minutes analyzing every part of your face to see all your faults, just like you wouldn't do to somebody else.

I just finished watching the matrix in HD for the first time and to my surprise Laurence Fishburne has fairly moderate scarring which I had never ever noticed before because I wasn't looking for these flaws. Even Keanu Reeves has noticable pitting on certain parts of his face that I never noticed before. But I know for a fact that the ladies still dig them. :surprised:

Anyway, my point is.... if you stop analyzing yourself so much and only analyze yourself as much as other people do, then you'll realize that you really aren't anywhere near as bad as you may think you are.

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oh cant agree more with you, the confident guy who is out there living life is the way we should all be. i truly wish i could do that, but i do let my scarring get the better of me. changing is a lot more difficult than it sounds too.

btw i saw a pic of your skin. it looks great mate :)

Thanks.

Well thats because my skin doesn't look anywhere near as bad to other people as it does to myself and i'm sure you're no different. :)

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Living my life the way I want to> Letting a spot on my face decide how my day goes. I'm happy to say I don't give a damn what people think about my skin.

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maybe your right... but i am still convinced by the fact that most girls still care (atleast a littlebit) about a mans looks.

Without confidence we will even make our chances worse...thats why we must like ourself for who we are (or havebecome =( ) .

How many guys with sever acne scars have u seen with beautiful women? I mean its super rare (but still possible). Maybe it is rare because most of the guys with bad scaring stay at home and dont go out much to actually meet these girls.

I know that I love women too much and thats why i am mad at my destini for not giving me natural good lucks... you can imagine how mad I am about gettin acne and the scars afterwards...to add on my bad looks.

When I looked at one of the photos of some guy on here with bad scaring ... U dont know how bad I felt.. I cant imagine my self in that skin...If my skin gets that bad my life is fuckeddd. I dont know how all of you guys do it.

I really dont.

Now I know why its so hard to just look at the mirror and say " I have scars it adds character... girls like dat". You cant say that and lie to yourself. I have to Believe it truly.

Why us.

Scars 4 life and foreva

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I think it is a matter of perspective, and changing your perspective on your scarring to a neutral or positive one seems to be the best way to stay sane.

Far too many people waste their lives wallowing in self-pity for whatever reason, and that is far more unattractive than acne scarring.

I like these sentiments and they're extremely true, too.

I have much worse scarring than most of the people on this site; some of the things I have done have really improved it. But I've also over the years determined that my scarring isn't the end of the world, sure I'd look better without it....but I'm not ugly even with it, far from it. :P

If you have minor scarring, you're like 98% of the population. The only people who have perfect skin are photoshopped...or use extensive procedures and products to maintain the porcelain complexion. I'll never have a porcelain complexion but I will be happy with ANY improvement at all. I already have seen improvement with the procedures I have done, so I'm happy with that. I'll be doing more just because I can and because I saw improvements with the first several procedures I've done (TCA CROSS x 1 and 2 x TCA peels and use of a glycolic acid product).

You don't go up and examine a friend's or aquaintance's skin from one inch away. They don't examine yours from that distance. One inch away is the distance many people look at their scarring. Of COURSE it's noticeable that close and personal. Take a few steps back and then realistically appraise your skin in NORMAL lighting! That will likely show you closer to the truth.

In flickering candlelight that's set back far enough from my face, the scars fade away. It's actually kind of shocking to see myself without them.

If my scars only improve slightly, that's fine. If my scars improve significantly, I'll be surprised but I won't complain. ;)

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I'll probably get shot down by some people with extremely negative comments, but here I go....

Is acne scarring really so bad?

I have 2 really good friends, both with horrendous scarring, they have poke marks all over their face.... and deep ones at that....

1 of my friends is like most of the people on here, he literally lets the scars take over his life, he doesn't go out much and he suffers from severe depression.

My other friend with scars (equally as bad), is a confident out going guy who dresses smart, takes care of himself and is a huge hit with the ladies.

My confident friend is in no way more attractive than my other friend, yet he gets so much more out of life (far more than the average person does).

Which got me thinking...

Is it not all a matter of perspective?

When you look at yourself in the mirror, don't you have a choice about how you view yourself as a person?

My friend with no confidence looks in the mirror and tells himself: "I have scars, people will never except me, my life is ruined....etc"

My confident friend who lives an excellent life looks at himself in the mirror and says to himself: "I have scars, they give me character, people like other people with character, so they have every reason to like me....etc"

If you could take a moment to think about this and ask yourself... "Couldn't my life be so much better if I could just change the way I percieve myself?".

I like the way you think on this. Truly, people will look at you differently if you behave as though you are just like one of them, with no regard to the imperfections you may have. Not always is it easy to carry out this new view on yourself, but the sooner you learn to do that the better.

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I'll probably get shot down by some people with extremely negative comments, but here I go....

Is acne scarring really so bad?

I have 2 really good friends, both with horrendous scarring, they have poke marks all over their face.... and deep ones at that....

1 of my friends is like most of the people on here, he literally lets the scars take over his life, he doesn't go out much and he suffers from severe depression.

My other friend with scars (equally as bad), is a confident out going guy who dresses smart, takes care of himself and is a huge hit with the ladies.

My confident friend is in no way more attractive than my other friend, yet he gets so much more out of life (far more than the average person does).

Which got me thinking...

Is it not all a matter of perspective?

When you look at yourself in the mirror, don't you have a choice about how you view yourself as a person?

My friend with no confidence looks in the mirror and tells himself: "I have scars, people will never except me, my life is ruined....etc"

My confident friend who lives an excellent life looks at himself in the mirror and says to himself: "I have scars, they give me character, people like other people with character, so they have every reason to like me....etc"

If you could take a moment to think about this and ask yourself... "Couldn't my life be so much better if I could just change the way I percieve myself?".

I like the way you think on this. Truly, people will look at you differently if you behave as though you are just like one of them, with no regard to the imperfections you may have. Not always is it easy to carry out this new view on yourself, but the sooner you learn to do that the better.

i can absolutely agree with the above comments. i made myself start going out with my scarring a few years back and had the most amazing time. met some incredible people and yeah had a good time. my scars did bother me still, like i did have my down periods, before id pick myself back up and then have even more of a good time, lol.

one thing i did find the scarring did, was stop me from entering into relationships. i did meet some lovely people who i considered stunning looking. i guess with the scars i felt like less of a person and ran from many chances to date.

my scarring has since become worse, hence im keeping a low profile until i can get it fixed. its more of a safety precaution, just in case it really is that bad. i think its bad and thats what matters. overall though, no clue if its the right decision or wrong one, it just feels good to me at the moment, at least until i get my acne under control again.

i think if you can handle it, head out and have a good time. if not, theres many friends to be had on here in the meantime :)

Edited by sydney_fellow

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im not sure really, it obviously depends on how bad it is, and then how well the person can 'deal' with it.. either accepting it for what it is, or not.

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adam, i remember seeing your scar pics a while ago and i remember you improved yours heaps. if anything, you're a real inspiration here mate :)

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It's easier to say than it is to do. Some days I'm as confident or more confident than the next person. Other days, I feel like uttershit and don't want to deal with anyone. It's not the acne scar per se, it's how you feel about the situation. That's how I felt about acne too. I mean, if you feel absolutely good about yourself, you won't care what people say or think.

But, part of it has to do with the scars themselves. People on this forum would be ecstatic if they woke up tomorrow with their scars gone. That's not going to happen though, so we are forced to adapt to our scars. Some people adapt better than others.

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I don't think it's an either or situation...meaning you can live your life fully, embrace yourself for who you are, but, also seek to improve myself! Who can fault a person from wanting to improve upon yourself? Don't we all want to live our lives even fuller than full? To reach for the impossible? Heck, I'm just at the beginning of my journey towards "almost perfect" skin...but, it hasn't hampered my life...instead it has forced me to be more vulnerable and open about a subject that for me has always been a sensitive spot. That has lead to deeper relationships...and all of this in the last week! :rolleyes:

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even though my scarring has gotten worse recently, i have had scarring for around 8-9 years now and ive never adapted to it. ive always been looking for ways to reduce it, to the extent that ive read almost every scar treatment option on this site and have devised elaborate methods of getting rid of them.

ive decided i want tca cross, have chosen where i want to get it done, found a place where i can get the leds, vitamin c serum, egf creams and have plans to bulk buy neopsorin. its funny but these things that keep me sane.

im hoping it will reduce mine somewhat, as it has with almost everyone else who has tried it. if i didnt have them improve however, i have no clue what id do. im not the coping kind unfortunately. well i am when i know theres a solution, but not if there isnt.

for the time being, i cant even look at myself.

Edited by sydney_fellow

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In terms of attracting the opposite sex (in this case women) scarring can indeed be a hinderance, at least from the perspective of evolutionary biology.

Smooth, even skin imparts an impression of general health in regards to a prospective mate. Scarring is inherently indicative of disease. Any indication of disease is a hinderance when it comes to attracting a mate.

I think if someone is turned off by someone with scarring, it is largely an unconscious event. They may or may not associate their distaste with the scarring, but if they do, they are probably not even sure why,at a fundamental level, this aversion operates. I think it is because scarring is associated with disease, and disease is associated with a "weak" physical constitution which is likely to imply undesirable genetics.

I don't think that such a response is simply the product of one's pettiness or superficiality. I think that it flows much deeper than that and can be a product of not only a biological imperative but also cultural "programming" with possibly other factors as well, all of which are largely unconscious.

The essence of all this is simple. If you have scarring, you're likely at a distinct disadvantage in regards to some aspects of life.

Not that this biological and/or cultural "aversion" isn't and cannot be transcended because we know it can. We're not simply mindless automatons under the inescapable sway of our genes, but I think we tend to underestimate how much of a factor genetics may have on our (and other's) choices.

Edited by scarcrash

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In terms of attracting the opposite sex (in this case women) scarring can indeed be a hinderance, at least from the perspective of evolutionary biology.

Smooth, even skin imparts an impression of general health in regards to a prospective mate. Scarring is inherently indicative of disease. Any indication of disease is a hinderance when it comes to attracting a mate.

I think if someone is turned off by someone with scarring, it is largely an unconscious event. They may or may not associate their distaste with the scarring, but if they do, they are probably not even sure why,at a fundamental level, this aversion operates. I think it is because scarring is associated with disease, and disease is associated with a "weak" physical constitution which is likely to imply undesirable genetics.

I don't think that such a response is simply the product of one's pettiness or superficiality. I think that it flows much deeper than that and can be a product of not only a biological imperative but also cultural "programming" with possibly other factors as well, all of which are largely unconscious.

The essence of all this is simple. If you have scarring, you're likely at a distinct disadvantage in regards to some aspects of life.

Not that this biological and/or cultural "aversion" isn't and cannot be transcended because we know it can. We're not simply mindless automatons under the inescapable sway of our genes, but I think we tend to underestimate how much of a factor genetics may have on our (and other's) choices.

I couldn't agree more.

Skin is a sign of good health and fitness, bad skin is not.

However, the point i'm trying to make is that the lack of confidence can be seen as more unhealthy than the conditioning of skin itself.

Healthy people are confident and confident people are healthy.

Although the conditioning of your skin may change or may not, having confidence is key to relationships.

I believe that people with no blemishes and no confidence are at more of a disadvatage than people with bad skin but with confidence.

Regardless of how bad your skin is, I think if you can show a women that you're confident regardless of your physical appearance, then it shows her that you're a real man with real inner strength, which a lot of women will find far more attractive than the quiet little boy with the perfect complextion.

I know a lot of really physically attractive men out there that actually complain that the ugly guys attract all the women and the reason for this is because men who don't consider themselves to be physically attractive, have to try harder to be confident. ;)

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acne scarring and acne is the worst mental thing that can happen to anyone...it really fuks wit the way u socialize, meet people and everything u do during that day ..some people say well dont think about it..cmon how can you not?? do u care about the way u dress? if so then u def care about the way u look period..going through everyday worrying about getting new acne or getting scarred from it is pure torture..im realy fed up with acne scars and acne its like wearing a halloween mask everyday..unbelievable!!!

Edited by Steve man

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acne scarring and acne is the worst mental thing that can happen to anyone...it really fuks wit the way u socialize, meet people and everything u do during that day ..some people say well dont think about it..cmon how can you not?? do u care about the way u dress? if so then u def care about the way u look period..going through everyday worrying about getting new acne or getting scarred from it is pure torture..im realy fed up with acne scars and acne its like wearing a halloween mask everyday..unbelievable!!!

Yes, I know how you feel.

But I hope you can take comfort in the fact that acne scarring is a very common thing. You probably never really notice scarring on other people because you don't examine there face anywhere near to the extent that you examine your own. But nobody will be examining your face anywhere as much as you do.

I'm not saying that people won't notice your scarring, but its not something that they will think is anywhere near as bad as you think so yourself.

I've spoke to other people with acne scarring who say they hate their skin and they think their skin is the worst out of everybody they know, but the truth is, they only think theirs is the worst because they examine their own face to a far greater extent than anybody else does.

Acne and scars are far more emotionally draining than they are physically.

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Firstly, you can't put all of acne scarring in the same boat. People with severe scarring (many of these boards) obviously will be distressed by the fact that their faces look like the moon. Most people though, like me, you, and many others, have residual scarring that doesn't have the same psychological effect. Same goes for acne.

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I found this topic interesting... I think that acne scarring that is moderate to severe is more tolerable on a man than a woman. Men are expected to be rough and ragged, When I meet a guy that has moderate to severe acne scarring I dont notice it as much or atleast I dont think it looks as bad. A hard look on a guy is sometimes considered an attractive quility, not that scarring is attractive on men, its just that they can pull it off more and maybe even use it to their advantage. When I meet a girl with it (like myself) i notice it right away and it takes away from her softness. A woman is expected to be soft and more put together, acne scaring takes some of that away and makes a girl look hard. I remember there was this guy who my friend started to date and he had moderate acne scarring all over his cheeks but he was very goodloooking and everyone thought he was so hot and never made a comment about his scarring, a friends brother was getting married to a girl he dated for about 1 year and she had moderate scaring on her cheeks and chin (not better or worse than the guy I described above) and at the wedding I heard more than once, She is such a pretty girl its ashame she has that scarring, no lie... not to mention I started feeling bad about my own self at that point...I guess its all about perspective. Look at all the celebrities who have acne scarring, like 99% of them are men and some of them are considered some of the most attractive people in the world. Name a female who is considered one of the most attractive in the world who has moderate acne scarring that shows like their male counterparts...

Edited by FoxyHound

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I am female. I have severe scarring (as diagnosed by a derm no less) and guess what? I could care less. Sure, I don't mind improving it but it's not the only thing I work towards! There are far more important things in my life than my scars. Go out and enjoy life.

Get therapy if you have to...cognitive behavioral is likely the best in helping STOP self-defeatist attitudes and behaviors.

Changing your mind-set can be done. Frequently you just can't do it alone though, and that's why there are lots of professionals out there who can help. There's no shame in needing assistance. There should be shame in NOT seeking assistance if and when you need it.

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I am female. I have severe scarring (as diagnosed by a derm no less) and guess what? I could care less. Sure, I don't mind improving it but it's not the only thing I work towards! There are far more important things in my life than my scars. Go out and enjoy life.

Get therapy if you have to...cognitive behavioral is likely the best in helping STOP self-defeatist attitudes and behaviors.

Changing your mind-set can be done. Frequently you just can't do it alone though, and that's why there are lots of professionals out there who can help. There's no shame in needing assistance. There should be shame in NOT seeking assistance if and when you need it.

I wanted to make sure you therapy suggestions were not directed at me but you do have some good points. I hate my acne scaring but it does not stop me from living life, I only strive to make them better so i can cut down on my routines and make my life even better. I hold a BA in social behavioral sciences and worked as a counselor for many years in a behavioral health hospital for women and my comparisons between men and women are my opinion of the superfical order of things, which doesnt effect my everyday life.

Edited by FoxyHound

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