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TranceOwnz

back again....on accutane this time

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Well, I haven't been here for a few months. I've been too depressed about my acne. It's like a degenerative disease.... the acne gets worse over time which makes me even more depressed which then affects everything I do.....ultimately making life suck.

I have tried countless things on my acne and I only found out that 2 things helped my acne.....eating healthy while taking supplements (vitamins, herbs, and minerals) and then also salicylic acid moisturizer. These only helped to a degree....not enough to make me really happy about my face. And I even used these things for 2 months or so at a time, giving them time to work.

So here I was, horribly depressed wanting a solution for my acne and that's when I turned to accutane not caring what the damn side effects were. The way I looked at it was accutane can kill me or if it doesn't solve my acne solution then i'll die anywayz cuz I can't live with myself anymore.

I get a month at a time from a pharmacy in Canada where it's a lot cheaper. I pay like 180 bucks a month for 80 mg/day....taking a 40mg capsule in the morning and then at night. I've been on accutane for about 3 weeks now. Sure I got dry lips and a dry face which I simply put some cetaphil on my face then blistex ointment on my lips to solve those problems. I've only had 1 nosebleed so far and that's cuz I blew my nose real hard. My lower back has hurt me a little bit but I could care less. I've gotten some like dry looking rashes on my arms. And then I ran really hard in my EMT class at college and I felt kind of light headed from the accutane....kind of blurry vision at that time. That was the only time I experienced some kind of vision problem.

Then my initial breakout....good god. The last 2 weeks...so from week 1 to week 3 it's been HORRIBLE. So many god damn zits I can't believe it. But, I have a good feeling with it....cuz places where I have horrible acne/cystic acne before it's looking really good. My left cheek which was the worst part before acne is pretty much the best part of my face now. It was really scarry looking before accutane but already it looks pretty damn good and i'm liking it. I have a lot of zits on my forehead and jawline....countless zits in those areas. I am depressed as hell cuz of my acne cuz I just want to live life to the fullest but all I do right now in my life is go to my EMT class, then just hide from everybody in my life. I stay in my room/house all the time. Even going to class is hard enough.

So....this is my accutane experience so far. Initial breakout right now but I have a good feeling that this will work....and if it don't? then I have no idea what i'll do because i'm not gonna live another year of life like this....been going on for 4 years being shy and what not cuz of fuking acne and it's time for it to stop.

again...I weigh a 150 lbs. and am taking 80 mg/day....going on week 4 of the treatment.

Good luck to all of you and I wish the best.

-Shawn-

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That really blows that acne is taking such a toll on your life. Most of us on here can definitely relate to the hardships it brings. I hope Accutane works well for you, but if not, I'd try and do something about your depressed mood, it can negatively affect your immune system, which doesn't help your acne. Be careful while on the treatment, and don't give up hope.

Jerry

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dont worry..stick with it! it took 4 and a half months..and i was blown away at how clear my skin was...even made my skin look more firm if you can believe that! I have to go to my doctor because i have a rash from a bad product and shaving! beware of that!!!!!! just stick with it!

-adam

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Well, I just wanna say thanks Adam and Jerry. I really was in need of hearing something good. People always tell me to just stop acting so depressed. Then I have family members who ask me what's up, why i'm so depressed. But I don't wanna even try to explain to them what's wrong cuz it's not like they would understand since they have perfect skin. Anywayz, I just look forward for a couple more months or so on accutane. When that day comes when I can look in the mirror and see a happy go lucky guy staring back at me is the day when my life really begins. I'm actually sitting here teary eyed just thinking about that moment. Well, i'm gonna make dinner and have my night accutane pill.

Laterz, -Shawn-

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I too am horribly depressed from my acne, I have been depressed ever sine my acne got bad which is like 1 year +, I get cystic acne that sits on my face and deosn't leave for weeks, and after that it leaves a big huge pigemnted mark. Because of Acne I try not to go out and I try and hide my face in class, its pathetic and sad, and I haven't started accutane because I am afraid of the intial breakout and if I take it over the summer I am afraid of getting sun burned easily cause I do out door activites :D

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"Hello", i'd say for you to try accutane if other things haven't worked. Because almost everyone who takes accutane (in the correct dosage) gets results. I don't know the percentage but it's like 75 percent of people who take accutane won't have acne again, like 15 percent has mild acne after, so then you can treat it with over the counter topicals, then like 10 percent has to take another course of acne cuz it's still bad enough to do so. Now, I know those percentages aren't exactly right, but they are pretty close. Just so you have an idea. So, that's the way I see it....I can continue to try numerous crap topicals on my face or I can take my chances and try to lose my acne forever. I really don't care what side effects I have....and for my initial breakout...it's been pretty bad. But one day i'll be happy with my face, and that's why i'm doing it.

So, if your hella depressed too like I am, then i'd say take it. It'll only be a few months before you will prolly be happy about yourself. :D

Cheers, -Shawn-

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Well well, here I am again. Seems like yesterday I was depressed as hell, not wanting to live anymore....wait, I think it was yesterday, lol. Anywayz, I am loving life right now. It's weird, i'm just in a hella good mood, and it all has to do with this girl in cali, Jessica. Well, she lives there, I live here in Utah. But we talk all the time and we were talking yesterday for a while and she really lifted my spirits and opened my eyes. I didn't even go to visit her cuz of my acne, i've been in hiding for a long long time. Well, i'm gonna go visit her in a couple months once accutane has cleared my skin more....i'm liking the results with accutane so far, very nice. But just talking with Jessica made me feel like I can atleast try to live life even before my acne is gone. I don't know...it's hard to explain really. I haven't even gotten my hair cut for the past few months just cuz of depression. But now, i'm gonna go get my hair cut tomorrow and i'm gonna start working out again. Gonna actually start doing my homework again....too depressed to do anything. And right now i'm sooooo full of energy and KNOW that accutane will work for me...cuz if I saw slight results in a week of taking it then i'll see drastic results to change my face for the better. I feel like i'm rambling on, I just wanted to say i'm no longer in that deep hole I buried myself in. I ain't quite yet on the plateua (however you spell it), but i'm just happy. I think i'm gonna go ballistic in a couple short months when my face is good too. I love you all and take care people...i'm gonna do some jumping jacks or something, heh.

-Shawn-

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That's amazing! Everyone has their own unique imperfections, so go out and do all the things you love & don't give a crap what other people think.

:D

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Hey Shawn,

I am so happy that you are feeling better. I've been on accutane for 4 months now, and my skin is so nice and clear (finally)...and it's hard to get used to NOT having to worry that every little thing that you do could potentially give you a pimple!

I totally relate to acne caused depression, and people who have never had acne are just so insensitive and ignorant to it.

Well, good luck and keep us all posted, and remember, every day is a gift...

May

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Thanks May. I like having people give me good advice who have been through the same trials. I mean, my parents have tried giving me adive and what not, but it's not the same since they never had to deal with acne. My mom gets 1 zit, ONE!!! and she's like, look Shawn, I have problems with acne too! I'm like, oh my god mom, try dealing with fifty, it's a whole different problem. I'm not saying 1 zit doesn't affect people, but 1 zit wouldn't affect me now having had a LOT more than that.

Anywho, tell me your brief acne story May...just your acne history then what accutane has done for you. Thanks again

-Shawn-

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Hey Shawn,

Well, my acne history is this: i've had acne on and off since i was about 15 (24 now). When i was about 17 it cleared up on its own, and I (blissfully) had clear skin for about two years. Then it came back when i was like 19, and the barrage of acne meds began. In general, my skin was just really oily, and i had small pimples AND cysts mostly concentrateed on my left cheek...don't ask me why the hell only my left and not both! But i would also get cysts other spots on my face too. First i was just on topicals like clindamycin, Dalacin T, and this benzamycin stuff he kept giving me. Then i was finally put on minocycline. It worked for about a year and 1/2. My skin was so clear and so nice. But then after a year and 1/2 the zits came back with a vengeance. Then i tried switching to doxycycline...I was in Korea teaching English at the time, so i didn't get a prescription, just ordered them online. They didn't work either. So when I came back here i was desperate and decided to finally try accutane.

I'm now on my fifth month (just started fiftth yesterday). I'm taking 80mg a day, and weigh 140lbs. For the first three months i was getting *really* discouraged b/c it didn't seem like my skin was getting any better. I was still having cystic breakouts. But then, after three months, my skin just became clear and I haven't had a zit since! This is my last month on it...i'm kinda scared to go off it...thinking maybe i should be on for six months...but i guess at that dosage, five should be okay. Besides, i'm am SO sick of the side effects, of which i have: DRY, DRY, DRY lips. DRY nose. DRY!!! eyes. Mood swings (pretty severe). and my hair is really dry and limp, and it is usually nice and full and shiny.

Also, I went skiing the other day, and it was sunny, and i got a sunburn in like an hour...after which i slathered on sunscreen, which i should have done before but i didnt' think my skin would be that sensitivie to burn in an hour (in the middle of winter in Canada)!

Well, sorry for the long rambling post. Hope this helps out.

Stay gold,

May

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That's great May. I hope you have no more problems with acne. I have a good feeling that my face will take a turn for the better around the end of my second month....cuz in some spots it's already looking good, then in others :D not so good, heh. But at least one thing is good, I ain't as depressed as before. Last couple days i've actually been working out n shit, getting those endorphines going. I can't wait until that day when i'm similar to you May...good luck n god bless

-Shawn-

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Hrm.......i don't really know what to say right now except for i'm somewhat depressed again. I'm taking an EMT-B class and today we started to do patient assessments on others. But in performing such a thing, you have to feel the persons face and like check it out. So this girl is doing an assessment on me (we made up like i had a broken leg) and she's assessing my head.....she says "okay, so i feel the face then the shoulders" but she skipped one part, she didn't even come close to my face. She touched practically every other part of my body but not my face. I really wanted to just start crying right there and just kill myself...all of this stupid acne crap has taken it's toll on me.

So.....after we switch off on some assessments and that....a different girl is doing one on me this time. She does THE SAME THING! It's like my heart just sunk through my chest and onto the floor. There was nothing left of it after that. How am i supposed to respond to that? what am i supposed to do? i just sat there looking up at the light in the room feeling like i want to drop out of the class right now cuz we are gonna be doing assessments EVERY CLASS now. So this is gonna happen over and over again. i don't know if i can take it. bah, i feel so hidious :)

-Shawn-

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Hey Shawn,

Well, I don't know exactly what to say...except that people can be so ignorant and (probably inadvertently) cruel and all we can do is try to rise above it and not let it affect our lives....easier said than done, i know.

My sister and I both had really bad acne, and we always used to talk about how when it was really bad we wouldn't even look people in the eye, b/c we didn't want them looking at our faces, or I would always try to cover up my one really bad side with my hair and avoid eye contact.

PLEASE don't drop out of that class though. Don't let others bad actions affect what YOU want. You're acne WILL clear up (esp. that you're on accutane now), you just have to be patient. Also, anyone worth it is not going to be an a-hole about your acne anyway (like those two people in yoiur class).

So, hang in there and God bless,

May

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Hey May, thanks a lot for those good words. I just got my second month supply of accutane today, and the first month went by SOOOOOOO freaking slow...as will the other 4 months. I guess I just have to take it day by day. As with my class....i'm gonna try to stick it out, it's so tough though, I just wish I was already acne free. If I fail to try in my EMT-B class, then i'm trying to fail....not good. Most likely i'll stick it out. Been in the class for a month now, about a LONG month and a half left :) Thanks again

-Shawn-

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Well, i'm just doing a little update here on accutane. So far my cheeks are pretty damn good and my forehead is FINALLY starting to look a little better. I still have hella zits on my jawline and some on my forehead nearer my temples...so the top of my forehead is looking good :lol:. That's about all for now....I got my first derm "check up" tomorrow to see how things are going. Then prolly this week I gotta get my blood work done to make sure the accutane ain't doing anything horrible to my body. I hate being stuck by needles so it's good my derm. only wants me to do one blood test in the 5 month treatment. I have a feeling that this month is gonna be good...that i'll see quite a bit of improvement still. I also am taking a vitamin E and zinc each day with my accutane....vitamin E is of course good for the skin by reforming collagen I believe, then zinc is good for the utilization of vitamin A, which accutane essentially is. Other than that...later peeps

-Shawn-

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I had my derm appointment yesterday and it went really good. I was telling him that i've heard people have had initial breakouts for up to 3 months or even 4 months and he said that it could happen if they don't have a very high dosage at all. My derm is such a cool guy. He's an honest guy who really cares about what he does. I don't have insurance so it would be like 50 bucks for each visit but he just has me pay 20 cuz he understands that I just wanna rid myself of acne.

Anyways, he reassured me that everything is gonna be alright and that accutane is gonna work for me. He says how if you have a good initial breakout then it means accutane is really working good on ya...something along those lines. But he said how my acne should die down in the 2nd month and the 3rd month is the biggest improvement month. I'm about a month and a half into the treatment...so i'm pretty psyched. And it DOES seem like things are dying down now, not getting as much acne and the exisiting is kinda drying up and flaking off (or being picked off by me :lol: lol)

But it was just really good cuz I needed that reassurance from my doctor. Now I just have to be poked by a needle this week or next to get my blood test, bahhhh....i hate needles. Anyways, i'm psyched and ready to see some dramatic changes now :D Later people

-Shawn-

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Hey Shawn, you are given 80 mg to start?

I only use 40 mg a day (my first day) and I weigh over 200 lbs. Is this enough? or in the second month will the dose be increased?

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Hey sierra, so you started off on 40 mg? How far are you into the treatment? Then how long is your treatment gonna be for? Do you know if your gonna increase the dosage in upcoming months?

My doctor says that you can start lower to reduce the initial breakout, but then the treatment length is longer. He said that you just have to take like a certain number of milligrams of accutane. So i'm just doing 80 mg for 5 months. He could of started me lower to reduce the initial breakout but then my treatment would be like 6 or maybe even 7 months.

-Shawn-

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I just started my 3rd day, 40 mg, I guess the lower dosage is to look for any possible serious side effects which is good, and to see how my body reacts to it. If I feel fine and the breakouts are not too bad then I'll ask the Doctor if I can go up to 60 mg the 2nd month.

40mg to start, then he said I need to be on it for about 5-6 months.

I am doing monthly blood tests, am keeping a close eye to anything serious happening.

The 3 days I have taken it I have not broken out, 3 little whiteheads, thats all.

I am just kinda freaked that I am on this drug, cause well I don't really know what its gonna do to me.

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Hey Trance,

I've been where you were. Although from the sounds of it, my acne wasn't nearly as severe as yours, I can wholly relate to the feelings of depression. I actually broke down in front of my mom (and let's just say that with our relationship, suicide was a hell of a lot more probable) over my skin.

I also can relate to the part about having your girlfriend cheer you up. My girlfriend vehemently opposed me going on accutane. She swore up and down that it(my acne) wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Every other female friend I have has commented on how much better my skin is now (just about to wrap up month two). The only person who refuses to admit it is my girlfriend, but I think she knows it was for the better. Remember man, no matter how much you want to do this for your girlfriend, you have to do it for yourself first and foremost. I'm sure your girlfriend would love you either way but unfortunately relationships don't come with guarentees, so if something goes wrong, you'll feel confident trying with the next girl.

Let us know how it's going.

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yea same here. My girlfriend always cheers me up. She says my fcae isnt bad and i know it doesnt bother her. at the same time though she knows it really bothers me. Im thinking of going on accutane, and she tells me she doesnt think i need it, but she understands why i want to go on it.

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read a couple didn't read all..... i know how you feel trance but lets get to the point i started accutane last week and i've been breaking out alot i can still look people in the eye i don't really care what they think. but its alot worst for me because i was a really good looking guy with style. alot of girls use to like me but acne really messed me up. but having acne teaches you some lessons like cockiness, being a nice person. i dunno thats how acne affected me alot of people don't make fun of me only a lil. but i still can make friends. but best thing of having acne in high school is getting good grades i dun't know if your still in high school or not but now im concentrating on getting into unviersity into engineering or something. thats how acne affected me.. meeting a girl isn't everything. achiving ur goals are.. like getting into university and after make the big $$$.. now don't goto girls let the girls goto you. u have a nice car after and u can do whatever u want but don't be so depressed just concentrate on the important things in life that will make you successful.

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