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if i were a parent, i'd never let my child go through the same pain

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I don't think I'll ever be a parent. Maybe it's best that way, kill the gene n all.

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Acne isn't going to stop me from being a parent. That is definitely something I want to do in life. I believe there are some measures you can take to make sure they don't get acne or at least don't get it severely. Making sure your kid has a healthy diet is a great start. I always ate like crap and I still do and I'm sure that plays a huge role in my skin. That and plus since we're going through this I'm sure we could help our kids get through it alot better than our parents are right now.

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meh...I'll just get a dog and not have to deal with it ALL OVER AGAIN. Besides, I dont think I'll ever even have the chance to become a father.

Edited by Alex_09

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my parents are hugely supportive in most of my endeavors, whether it be my music, sports or education. however, I really don't think my parents get it with acne.

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are u guys crazy? Acne is the reason you guys aren't going to have kids. That's a joke. Ok i can definitely sympathize with those with severe acne that don't want their kids to suffer, but at the end of the day, there's no saying they will suffer as much.

1. You may have a child with someone with great skin, passing those genes on

2. they may have developed a cure

3. you have SO much knowledge to pass on to your kids, you wouldn't let their skin get so bad, you would take them to the derm ASAP etc

How can acne stop you having kids, thats just unbelievable. I can believe it with people at risk of Huntington's, or rare genetic diseases (eg SCID), but just cos of acne, thats crazy.

Sorry if this offends anyone, its just my opinion, and I stand by it, because once our acne is over we will lead very much fulfilling lives, I hope my child does the same.

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yeah dont have kids......

they could have a weak mind set .... not like us .. im like a stone when it comes to emotions, i have managed to be oblivious and run away to hide rather than deal with stupid ignorant people in the world who probably have something horrible to say about me, so i just ignore ignore ignore...

if u dont wish this on your worst enemy, dont wish it upon your next of kin

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there is no way im gonna let this keep me from the joy of having a kid! if the opportunity arises with the right girl im gonna live my life. my child will not have a weak mind set. i will see to that. and im am constantly gonna be on watch for even the slightest hint of a breakout. by the time im an adult i will have found a better way to treat this. and my scars. and with my child i will have time and i will expect it.

you should ALL think like this. just because you get acne dont ruin your own life.

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This makes me a little mad. I'm sure there are some parents who don't care about their children, but that is OBVIOUSLY not the case all around. How could you generalize people who have acne's parents like that?

I don't see why you think parents are required to research to no end about acne, offer to take their child to a derm without being sure if that's even what they want - acting like it's the end of the world. It's not.

Why is it the parent's fault for not offering? Honestly, if a child wanted to see a derm, he or she should just ask. I don't see why you think the parents are supposed to just KNOW that's what the child wants. I'm not sure where you live but - unless your acne is severe - you don't really see a derm around here for it. Not being a teenager anyways.

Next, why should they research it? I can see if the child developed some sort of crippling disease the parents would want to be informed, but acne is a natural thing and every teenager experiences pimples at one point in time or other. I don't get why you would feel so inclined to know every single detail of how their acne is formed and why it happens etc etc.

Obviously if the child is down, the parent should be there for him/her to comfort them. Not saying they shouldn't. Support is always a great thing, especially from family. I just don't see why you think that parents need to practically go through it with them. It's not really that big of a deal to the parents.

Edited by Ḻyssa

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i feel bad writing about this, i might just be in a bad mood. BUT if i were a parent i'd never let my son go through acne in such an emotionally painful way!!!!!!! i wouldn't act like i'm not seeing anything, and he wouldn't have to always wonder what to say to make me care. he wouldn't have to think of hints to remind me to bring him to the dermatologist!!! :wall:

i would research and research, like he does.. and i would help him carry the burden. tell him that we wont ever give up without a fight!!! as much as i possibly could, I WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL THAT I DO UNDERSTAND.... whenever he looks sad and, i'd ask him why and not just look and think to myself "he's always like that." :shrug:

I"D DO ALL THAT because i know how emotionally draining it is to look at yourself everyday and know that you are alone. :(

he would never feel empty because constantly, i would fill him wit love and support.

JUST SAYIN.... im just 19, sooo basically im looking way way way ahead.

same same same

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Lyssa, i wasn't generalizing, i was talking about my experience and how i would handle it if i were a parent, that's why i entitled it if i were a parent...Obviously, my parents don't care enough about what i go through emotionally because of acne.

well personally, i think parents need to understand that it is a big deal. they don't have to go through it with their child. They just have to understand that it's not just a phase that they can always overlook. some kids do through depression because of it, because they think nobody from their family understands.

i am not blaming my parents, i feel disappointed though that they don't take it seriously. and i have talked to them about it. when i said research, i meant for them to understand. in my case, my parents don't know what cystic acne is or pustules, etc. they think they're all the same and will just disappear in time. and i have talked to them about it, and asked them to take me to a dermatologist but they keep forgetting. that's why i give them hints, because i feel stupid reminding them all the time.

i also dont know where you live, but i believe that " an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" and as early as i can, i'd bring my child to a derm before it gets severe and a lot harder to control. i'd spare him from what he is yet to go through. he may not understand that at first, but he doesnt need to.

:)

I get your point (and I'm sorry your parents treat you that way!) but I just don't see it that way. When I think of teens with acne, I don't think of crisis. Obviously it's not the case to them if they're on this site (even though I too have acne) but it's just so common that I don't see why parents would feel inclined to treat it like something life-threatening or whatever.

As for them not taking you - my parents are the same way, I know what it's like. I didn't ask for a derm appt, but I've asked for them to schedule my next check-ups or things like that and they just "forget". I have to remind them time and time again. So I understand your frustration on that part. What I don't agree with is just up and making an appointment without even checking if that's what the child wants first.

And as for the derm early statement - that's not always the case, it getting worse over time. I've had mild acne for five - going on six - years now, and it's stayed the same. I really wouldn't worry too much about that.

I hope I'm not coming off as a bitch btw. I just disagree with a lot of what you said :confused:

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Assuming most people here are in their late teens or early twenties, and assuming you all have kids in your late twenties or early thirties, and those kids get their first pimples around 14, that's ~20 years in the future you're looking at where a better treatment or cure might've been developed.

Also, as long as we keep on top of our children's skin (see a derm at the first sign of trouble, start administering the medication early, etc.) there is no need to worry. The only people who really need to worry are those who've been on Accutane 3 times or whatever and the acne's still coming on strong. But again, better methods will have been developed when that time comes, even for them.

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I wouldn't really place too much faith in dermatologists. I went to one in the early stages on acne and kept with him for years, trying all his products...In the end, my acne only went away with a proper diet routine, something my derm always said had nothing to do with acne :P

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I want to have kids, and I want to take them to the dermatologist on the first sign of acne.

I think if I would have gone to the dermatologist the first two years four years with acne, when it was moderate instead of severe, I'd be clear by now.

I wouldn't wait for my child to get it severe before looking into it.

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Ditto to everyone who still want to have kids, acne won't stop me from having cute, lil babies.

That being said, I also had moments when I felt I wish my parents took a more active role when I started breaking out. My parents and elder sibling never had the same problem I have, no one thought it would lead to anything serious, and that I would grow out of it. I tried countless creams, antibiotics, sometimes they helped, sometimes they didn't. I told my mom I wanted to go see a derm, and if she can't call for an appointment, I make one for myself. But I pretty much handled the worst of acne on my own. By the time my family saw the severe emotional and physical effects on me, I was so used to making decisions for myself that I was closed to their suggestions. At that point, I knew more about it than they did. And to this day, I have to work hard at not being so touchy when people (friends and family) ask about my skin. I figure, if I don't mind, they shouldn't either. Of course, I have makeup to give me a bit of courage.

I honestly cannot recall how I was able to survive the worst years, I guess I blocked them from memory. I would say the upside to acne is I am better armed against it than, let's say, the average clear person (including my parents). I can relate better to how my kid would feel, IF it happens to her/him. And hopefully they wouldn't feel as alone and helpless as I did. I love my parents to bits, but honestly, I did have a turn at blaming them for my skin, and this happened when my skin was at it's worst.

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I've thought about not having kids just because they'd have to go through the same stuff I did but I only say that to my mother probably because she doesn't offer much support. Then I thought, it would be nice to have kids and take good care of them so maybe at least they will be very healthy in every other way and then we can just try to work with the acne in a natural way.

Who knows though. After all the antibiotics and harsh medications I was handed over the years that I took so blindly, I might be too damaged to even have kids at all.

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it depends. if i knew for a fact that my kids would get acne as bad as mine, and they would suffer even 1/10 as much as me, then there is no way in hell id have kids. because no matter how strong they are, no human being can take this. saying that, the chances are very slim that that would actually be the case. i would take the chance with kids because there better be a cure by then anyway. but it doesnt really matter if i say id have kids anyway since no girl would want kids with someone with a face as messed up as mine.

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I love my parents to bits, but honestly, I did have a turn at blaming them for my skin, and this happened when my skin was at it's worst.

i feel the same. i love my parents but i've gotten so caught up with all the emotions and pain that i keep looking for someone to blame for my acne.

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I'm definitely not going to let my genetics affect my decision for having children. I'm not going to let four years of my life define me.

Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, my kids probably AREN'T going to have perfect skin. But I know for a fact you can be happy with acne. And if anyone, I'll know how to empathize with my children and I will be incredibly persistent in treating it.

My parents don't really get it completely, but they're supportive when it comes to financial aspects. My mom has been willing (and even my dad, who dealt with acne, as well as his brother who dealt with severe cystic acne, and is also a stickler when it comes to money) to pay for all my chemical peels for my scars. And were prepared to shell out the cash for Accutane. There was no question in their minds what they were going to do.

However, my mom has been selfish in some respects. Which is when it comes to birth control. When I was on one of the -cyclines, my mom read ONE online article SUGGESTING that the antibiotic lowered the effectiveness of the birth control, she freaked out, made me stop taking it immediately. I am now immune to all of those antibiotics... because of how abruptly I stopped, because of her. We went to the derm and found out there's no proof, it's simply a theory and probably isn't true. Thanks mom. (I'm still a bit bitter about it)

I will never be that parent. I will always find all the facts. I've done so much research for my acne it's not even funny, my parents aren't as supportive. They'll pay for it but according to them it's "my thing" even though I'm clearly suffering. I won't ever let that happen to my child. I will make it my part time job to find them a solution, even if it means taking time out of my social/personal life. I wish my parents took some more responsibility/initiative so I could enjoy my childhood a bit more.

At 15, I feel responsible for my medical problems. That's a huge burden. Now acne isn't killing me, but if I had an eating disorder like my sister they would be much more interested.

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