Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Recommended Posts

I apologize for the melodramatic trite that will ensue in this post. And I apologize for that apology which might lead u to assume that i am some grandiose jerk-off who feels the intrinsic value to existence is being able to stand out. None of you will save me, but I feel so lonely that I will find solace in knowing you sympathetic strangers realize I exist.

I wouldn't consider myself hideous, but there are miniscule features that connect together so well they create the gamut of my attraction so vast that (depending on the angle and lighting) I could look very attractive to incomprehensively ugly. In a way, I feel everything that could have gone wrong with me did go wrong. Especially when it comes to my skin, transcending acne.

When I was circumcised, the doctor cut off my foreskin too tightly. As a result, I have a noticeable scar on the underside of my penis, and hair on my shaft. I have stretch marks on my back that seemingly manifested out of nowhere. I used to have terrible acne that was neglected to my financial constraints, and thus scarring ensued. I have a relatively large nose, and a noticeable pulpous, hypertrophic mark on it that I tried removing, but left a red scar in which I have to cover with concealer on a daily basis. How does this all translate to my existential continuum?

I absolutely love the sun, yet I can't go to the beach or pool unless I want to reveal my back. I can't have sex on a whim, because I have to shave my shaft to remove the hairs (and this doesn't completely remove the problem either, as it becomes prickly and sometimes I have to deal with ingrown hair). I hate standing under light directly above me because it highlights my big nose and the bump in the center of my face which astronomically compromises my face. I can't wet my face because the concealer will wipe off and the bump will look really red. I am very open minded and I am forced to constrain myself from the greater sides of life like restaurants and drunkingly stripping off my shirt during beer pong.

I refuse to accept this fate, but I am left with no choice. Seeing how I am physically desolate and have terrible friends and a distant family (don't even want to get into that mess), I am surprisingly optimistic (complacent if you will) and am a relatively confident person. Or at least I play it off pretty well. Because everytime I go to sleep I can't help but soak in self-pity and fear for the direction of my mental state and love life. In a nutshell, I wish I was dead. Is it so much to ask to not have to worry about these deformities? For christ's sake, just to have a plain back I don't have to hide and just be some random guy with acne scars. My face has garnered strangers to either look away or objectify me, i know there are people out there that completely pity me, and yet they've only seen the tip of the iceberg. I guess I wanted to someone reveal the whole block of ice, even if its anonymously to strangers. Don't think I'm asking for reductive advice, because there is nothing you can do. Just putting this into the stream of the interwebz to record how low people can go and perhaps help you feel better about yourself in the process.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like your subtitle.

Have you tried antidepressants? You might find you care a heck of a lot less about all this stuff if you were to go on them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like your subtitle.

Have you tried antidepressants? You might find you care a heck of a lot less about all this stuff if you were to go on them.

Inferiority is the only thing that drives me, I think I speak for everyone when I say this (at least those within the capitalistic venue). To sum up my pain into a synthetic capsule made out of the Western ideology of instant gratification would be to give up and force myself to walk around in public in sweat pants. My anti-depressant is music, self-pity, and the pursuit of knowledge. And to make myself sink into oblivion would not remove the relationships and physical abnormalities, just make me even a more incompatible person. My very existence would reach the bedrock of bedrocks. Just a slab of skewed meat drooling his way through a subjective reality. Anti-depressants should be the solution for no one. I would suggest death over that to anyone, especially those I care about.

edit: im sorry if you think im an asshole.

Edited by wasteofpaint
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You sound like an intelligent guy.

But you completely misunderstand the concept of the antidepressant. It isn't marijuana, that is to say, something that distorts reality to create a fake euphoria.

The antidepressant does not create a subjective reality. Your CURRENT reality is subjective, caused by a neural imbalance, of which the underlying cause is the environmental factors in your life. The antidepressant corrects the imbalance and allows you to see reality objectively again.

If there is no imbalance, then the antidepressant won't do anything.

Edited by Beautiful Day
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You sound like an intelligent guy.

But you completely misunderstand the concept of the antidepressant. It isn't marijuana, that is to say, something that distorts reality to create a fake euphoria.

The antidepressant does not create a subjective reality. Your CURRENT reality is subjective, caused by a neural imbalance, of which the underlying cause is the environmental factors in your life. The antidepressant corrects the imbalance and allows you to see reality objectively again.

If there is no imbalance, then the antidepressant won't do anything.

Agreed.

To the OP and all others: kindly read the pinned post above about Why the mods always close suicide threads, and keep the direction of this thread from going there......this is NOT open for debate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You sound like an intelligent guy.

But you completely misunderstand the concept of the antidepressant. It isn't marijuana, that is to say, something that distorts reality to create a fake euphoria.

The antidepressant does not create a subjective reality. Your CURRENT reality is subjective, caused by a neural imbalance, of which the underlying cause is the environmental factors in your life. The antidepressant corrects the imbalance and allows you to see reality objectively again.

If there is no imbalance, then the antidepressant won't do anything.

Agreed.

To the OP and all others: kindly read the pinned post above about Why the mods always close suicide threads, and keep the direction of this thread from going there......this is NOT open for debate.

where in this thread did I say I wanted to commit suicide? I'm just venting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

... In a nutshell, I wish I was dead....

There.

"just venting" is great, it can really help a LOT sometimes. Vent away but within the board rules, please. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bravo, just bravisimo.

Finally someone said what i wanted to say for such a long time.

Thank you OP as I vented when you did.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

consider just trimming the pubes, man, we've got it pretty lax in those regards.

it's almost expected for you to have a little bit there, unless they've been watching too much pornography, where everyone is shaved.

you can try plucking, but i wouldn't really recommend it. i have a little hair on my shaft too, and it hurts to pluck, man. i pluck like one hair every five minutes, and i am sweating like crazy because i am terrified of hurting my little soldier. if you do pluck, pluck FAST, don't try to pull it out gently, because that little bastard likes to hold his ground and make it painful for you, so you gotta take it by surprise, to make sure the pain is sharp, but short.

don't wax it either, man, that is scary, and pulling out too much hair at once can make you bleed there.

also, if you are playing beer pong, and you are not drunk enough to rip your shirt off regardless of acne...

...you're too good at pong, man.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×