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The mental aspect..........

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I have just had this realization that I dont think I am mentally "there" for gearing up to get rid of my acne. I've had acne for so long (the past few years have been VERY mild though until now, because I just went off the birth control pill) that sometimes I feel like it's always going to be a part of my life. AND I DONT WANT TO FEEL THAT WAYYYYY!! I almost feel like I dont deserve to have clear skin sometimes... and this is NOT GOOD. I dont know how to change my mindset into thinking that I desrve clear skin, I know that I WANT it, but it's almost like my brain wont allow me to even get to the point where I feel like I DESERVE clear skin.

I honestly think a lot of this stems from the fact that I did a lot of stupid things in my past and I hurt some people I cared about (this was before I ever had acne). And I almost feel like acne is a punishment for doing those stupid things. But the thing is, that was SO long ago an dI have since changed who I am, I KNOW that I'm a good person now, but I just cant seem to stop thinking that I'm being punished... and that maybe the punishment isnt over yet :(.

I just keep thinking that I could be the healthiest damn person in the world and be doing everything right and I would still have acne just because my mind is getting in the way. I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I was just wondering if anyone else feels or has felt this way? And how the heck do I get rid of the guilt and the idea that I'm being punished??

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Everyone does stupid things. Any punishment here is coming from yourself. You're mad about hurting some people you love, so why is it OK to do the same thing to yourself?

If you were a bad person you wouldn't feel bad about these things, you'd be thinking "hah, those suckers, I hope they got hurt real good!". That's how criminals and murderers think, try putting some perspective into this. You're a good person worthy of the best damn life you can provide yourself.

By the way you look fantastic, you must be doing something right, unless you've airbrushed the acne out or something.

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Everyone does stupid things. Any punishment here is coming from yourself. You're mad about hurting some people you love, so why is it OK to do the same thing to yourself?

If you were a bad person you wouldn't feel bad about these things, you'd be thinking "hah, those suckers, I hope they got hurt real good!". That's how criminals and murderers think, try putting some perspective into this. You're a good person worthy of the best damn life you can provide yourself.

By the way you look fantastic, you must be doing something right, unless you've airbrushed the acne out or something.

Thank-you for the encouragement :). Makes me feel a bit better :). I have a horrible problem with guilt.... I need to learn to control it.

Well, that picture was taken about two years ago when I was like 98% clear because I was on the birth control pill. Went off of it like 6 months ago and my face has exploded again.

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We all make such a big deal out of acne, and it does indeed suck majorly, but I just try and remember that there are much worse things that people suffer from in this world. Like brain damage, being paralyzed, being crippled, being blind, deaf, dumb, etc. Before I had acne, I was disgusted by people who had it. Now that I know what it's like, I don't look down upon people at all who have it, and I realize how ignorant I was before. Acne can be like a blessing in disguise for a lot of people. In trying to rid ourselves of our bad skin, we learn a lot about our bodies, nutrition, and a lot of us end up with a lot of knowledge that will serve us throughout our lives, even after our skin problems go away.

I've also learned that a lot of people who are good looking and have flawless skin, oftentimes don't develop their personality as much because they depend on their looks so much. Many become smug, which is much more unattractive than acne. I've learned to focus on other things in my life than my looks. I'm a writer, so my quality of writing is much more important to me than my quality of skin. Even if my skin looks horrible, if I come up with a great piece of writing, it makes me feel like I'm top of the world. I go to my writing class with confidence, and my fellow students look at me with admiration. I think an important part of dealing with acne is not obsessing over it.

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