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Hey everyone!:). I haven't been on here in quite sometime and was thinking I have a post I'd like to share with everyone. First, I'm going to start by telling you a little about myself:

I'm 20. I've never had a boyfriend. My first visit with a dermatologist was about a year ago, and when my mom blurted out that I think my bad skin is the reason I don't have a boyfriend I burst into tears. My dermatologist started questioning me about depression, but we refused to even consider antidepressants. Instead I got a prescription for acne medication to clear up my existing acne before discussing options for my scars. My never disappearing scars. I gotta say, although I was mad at my mom afterward, it was nice to let out a good cry that wasn't done solely in private. Well anyways I tried the medication, and about a month later had to bump up the prescription strength. Within a few months my skin was much clearer (Though never perfect, I'm thinking that's still a distant dream), and I decided to get a temporary scar lifting injection to fill out my scars. It worked pretty well, but it never, and probably will never completely rid me of my imperfections completely. I still occasionally get self-conscious when I see myself under fluorescent lighting, or look at a picture of my oily, still scarred face, but my confidence has gone way up. More importantly I learned a greater lesson about confidence, that I'm trying my best to keep in mind at all times and practice in my life. Here it goes:

My self esteem problems didn't start before I got acne. Before I had acne I would get fixated on something else about me or my face that way "ugly". I've never been that confident. Acne just further brought that out, and it doesn't make me feel better that I have 3 sisters and a mom who never got it like I did. But that's just it--it didn't make me feel better that my 3 sisters and mom never had that specific problem of mine. They had better skin than me. They were normal (in that regard). They were smarter (off topic, but still pretty true.) So much of my life involved comparing myself to other people. Comparing, comparing, and comparing some more. It left me A.)Proud or 'better feeling' when I saw someone who had it worse than me, someone who wasn't as pretty. Or B.) Worthless. I was living on a lie. That lie told me that how a person appears to other people was so vitally important to their happiness and well being. It was a lie--it's not true. How a person looks doesn't make truly make them happier, true happiness comes from within. True happiness comes from God, and his son's message of humility. No person is better than another, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I don't have the perfect face. And on my imperfect face, are scars. Scars that aren't the most beautiful. Scars that, yes may have stopped some young, shallow guys from considering me attractive enough to date. But guess what, life still goes on. That pressure I feel to date someone comes from comparing myself to other people, like my sisters who got married young. Boyfriend, or no boyfriend, pretty, or not, I still have a whole heck of a lot to offer in life--and you do to! Yes, on occasion I fall back into my old way of thinking, and I'm guessing will always have a little bit of a struggle with my self esteem, but look around and I think you'll find that's not weird at all, it's common. My face doesn't change my actions, and ultimately it doesn't change how I can make other people feel. Outward beauty isn't love. It won't ever be love. True love brings happiness, and nobody can stop you from that!!

http://www.armenianbrethren.org/resources/Self-Image.pdf

It's a good study. I liked it.

Much love, anonymous!<3

Edited by sunshine95
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i think this is an empowering post. it sounds like you've been thru a lot. this is just my opinion, but i think acne can make you grow up a lot faster than your peers.

one of the things i really liked about your post is you coming to the realization that you have so much to offer, as does everyone else. and finding happiness within, instead of solely in others, is one of the best things about life :dance:

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You are young and you will find your mate. I don't think to be married young is a good thing, imaging you married at 20, when you are 30 you got children an stuff and a whole life ahead. So you have 10 years of marriage and it's no longer what it was in your early twenties. that is a fact. So live and take it easy.

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