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worriedshoes

boyfriend made a joke that hit me pretty hard

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now and although he is very comfortable with me, my family and friends, and the idea of us moving in together soon, I'm not quite there yet. Anyway, this past weekend I had my make-up already done before my boyfriend came to pick me up (as always) and well, this is embarrassing, but after you mess around your make-up can get kinda smudged (Girls, i know you understand :P )

Anyway, so as I was touching up my make-up, I jokingly said, "Want some make-up on?" and he was like, "ew, no!" and so he tried to take my make-up brush from my hand but my grip was so hard and he said "GOD, YOU CAN'T PRY MAKE-UP FROM A KOREAN GIRL'S HAND!" He said it as a joke, obviously, but I was kind of shocked. Probably because it was true. And I was like, "Oh honey, you know I'm a little high maintenance! At least I'll always look good ;)" And he said, "Yeah, if I ever see you without make-up I'll be like, WOAH, who is this?"

I died. In my head, I was like OK now I definitely can't move in with him. Why? Because I have waited much too long to NOT show my bare face that when I finally do, it will be a big surprise for him I think. He never mentions or makes fun of me for carrying make-up in my purse, but he definitely notices and of course i am embarrassed.

The idea of us moving in together scares me because I don't want him to see me without makeup. Emotionally and in our relationship we are ready but my skin is a huge insecurity for me and it's holding me back :(

Any girls have similar situations?

Edited by worriedshoes
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WOW. I feel exactly the same. I broke up with the one I truly loved because I don't want him to see me without makeup, and I can't get a boyfriend because of that. Makeup is like a mask for me, I'm like the phantom of the Opera haha, if someone sees me without makeup I have to kill him/her. This is really mean of your boyfriend, and immature. Does he knows you have a low self-esteem and that your pretty worried 'bout him seeing you without makeup??? I say, you should really talk to him about that, and how you feel.

But remember that no matter what if your BF really loves you he would love you no matter what you look like, and accept your natural beauty. I'm sure you are really beautiful acne or whitout acne you'r still the same pretty girl with the pretty personality he loves. Don't let that douchy comment affect you, don't take it seriously and talk to him 'bout it. I'm sure he'll understand. Don't let your acne control your life, I'm sure if you can cover up easily your acne with makeup it's not as bad as you think.

Good luck!

Edited by Ana BaNaNa *-~*.'
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most guys go around without makeup all the time. whats the point of moving in with him if you can't be yourself, you're just lying to yourself that you can trust him.

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Didnt you ask this question before in another way? I think i told you that your bf would be a prick if he dumped you because of your acne. I wouldnt but i dont count cause i have sympathy for girls that go through this and i would accept them regardless. Unfortunately not every guys the same and only you should have the best indicator or how he would react to it. good luck

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lol your bf didnt mean it in a bad way, its just yeah you are bound to look so different once you take it all off. by the sounds of it its really worrying you.

why dont you just bite the bullet and not put make up on one day. then you can tell how he feels about the real you. then you will know one way or another.

altho i bet he will think you're fine :) if not, you are so welcome to come back and rant to us lol :)

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lol your bf didnt mean it in a bad way, its just yeah you are bound to look so different once you take it all off. by the sounds of it its really worrying you.

I got that impression aswell, I think you might have just taken it the wrong way

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"Yeah, if I ever see you without make-up I'll be like, WOAH, who is this?"

He was just trying to be funny: it sounds like a joking remark...I'm sure he said it to get his point across (about how you're obsessed with makeup)

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Yeah sounds like sarcasm. I bet he was just trying to keep the mood light - I'm sure if he wants to move in with you he's crazy about you. Chin up, it will be OK =)

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I thought the korean girl joke was funny..he was just playing on the stereotype that Koreans love their makeup! and I thought it's true for many korean girls, they do makeup so beautifully! Just like Japanese girls, they are amazing with the makeup and their brands are good.

I also have a fear of getting intimate with a guy because of the makeup..but you can always start by lessening the amount of makeup worn..perhaps go without liner or something? And then slowly strip it away... I have cut down a lot on my makeup (except for blusher! I love blushers!!) and even my girlfriends have said that I need more makeup. And I have talked to some guy friends and they think my makeup is light.

Maybe just play up one feature..your brows, or your eyes, or your lips?

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Honestly, if you truly love him it shouldn't matter. I'm really not scared at all of what my boyfriend thinks of my bare face. Well, I never wear skin makeup (ie concealer, foundation etc) anyway, but still. I guess I just see it as if you can't deal with me at my worst then you definitely dont deserve me when I'm lookin good :)

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I don't get why you were offended...but you should talk to him about it if it really bothers/ed you

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Your reaction to his jest calls attention to the underlying problem, I feel.

I had an ex who used to panic at the thought of being seen without makeup, specifically mascara and eyeliner. She was a redhead, and thus had porcelain skin and very pale eyelashes... I was never allowed to visit her until she had prepared herself.

It hurt me to think she was so repulsed by her own appearance. It was quite disturbing to consider that her perception of herself had been warped by the advent of these cosmetic products to the point where even I, who without speaking in arrogance was the person closest to her at the time, was shut out by the barrier it created.

I understand that applying makeup helps you to face the world, but I think you'd find great relief in letting your guard down and relaxing your standards around your BF. That doesn't mean you can't keep yourself looking amazing for him, but there's no need to fear the prospect of being seen without the ol' chemical magic every now and then.

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My boyfriend says he prefers me with no make up on because he loves me....although he came in the bathroom the other day (when i had make up on by the way) and called me 'pizza face' because we had an argument. I havent spoken to him since and i was getting really down. Your boyfriend hasnt made reference to your acne at all...you say he gets on with your family and likes the idea of living together...it sounds like he loves you no matter what! Just enjoy it! I'd love to live with someone who loves me and my crazy ass family!

good luck xxx

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My boyfriend says he prefers me with no make up on because he loves me....although he came in the bathroom the other day (when i had make up on by the way) and called me 'pizza face' because we had an argument. I havent spoken to him since and i was getting really down. Your boyfriend hasnt made reference to your acne at all...you say he gets on with your family and likes the idea of living together...it sounds like he loves you no matter what! Just enjoy it! I'd love to live with someone who loves me and my crazy ass family!

good luck xxx

What the fuck honey, he doesn't love you if he says that - ditch that pussy.

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best thing I did with this is let my boyfriend see me be vulnerable and exposed. Skin and tears abut my skin. I am sad about it and I let him comfort me about it which helps him understand how much it truly effects me so he doesnt say stupid things about my skin/makeup/clothes choices

and if my face hurts i can tell him "please dont touch my face right now" cause we have already discussed why and he won't get funny with me about it.

Guys like to see a girl expose her vulnerabilities (within reason obviously)

Make him feel like he can comfort you and if he loves you he will feel like a big, strong and useful man rather than a boy with his foot in his mouth.

you will probably find he reacts quite well. plus if you are great at covering it up it may be he has no idea what you are contending with so him seeing you bare will give him more respect for all the efforts you make and how you try to stay confident etc. May bring you closer together plus it will make him feel safe to share things with you he is embarassed about in future which is very healthy for relationships.

either way this is a test you HAVE to take with a partner.

I am so glad I did and now I have a partner who keeps an eye on my progress with me and who helps me apply whatever topicals I need to on my back and gives me cuddles and tea when I am sad about it.

btw I exposed my skin little by little, in the early stages I was always covered up!

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My boyfriend says he prefers me with no make up on because he loves me....although he came in the bathroom the other day (when i had make up on by the way) and called me 'pizza face' because we had an argument. I havent spoken to him since and i was getting really down. Your boyfriend hasnt made reference to your acne at all...you say he gets on with your family and likes the idea of living together...it sounds like he loves you no matter what! Just enjoy it! I'd love to live with someone who loves me and my crazy ass family!

good luck xxx

I am sure you love your boyfriend but still......

can I give you a pocket chuck norris to roundhouse kick him in the nuts whenever he says something like that to you?

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You know, at least you have a significant other, at least you have the luxury of knowing that there is somebody there that can relate to you and enjoy your company, at the very least you can feel happy about that.

Lifes NOT fair :(

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My boyfriend says he prefers me with no make up on because he loves me....although he came in the bathroom the other day (when i had make up on by the way) and called me 'pizza face' because we had an argument. I havent spoken to him since and i was getting really down. Your boyfriend hasnt made reference to your acne at all...you say he gets on with your family and likes the idea of living together...it sounds like he loves you no matter what! Just enjoy it! I'd love to live with someone who loves me and my crazy ass family!

good luck xxx

What the fuck honey, he doesn't love you if he says that - ditch that pussy.

i agree. this guy sounds like a complete prick for saying something like that. that is so out of order.

(but then again depends on what you said / did to him first lol)

But remember that no matter what if your BF really loves you he would love you no matter what you look like, and accept your natural beauty.
exactly. makeup or no make up he will love you (if he loves you) no matter what.

plus you're korean. korean girls are the hottest in the world, you got nothing to worry about! he's a fucking lucky guy lol

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Guys joke. That's all. I wouldn't read too much into it unless he is emotionally abusive, but from what I can tell he's just goofing off. Nothing to worry about. :P

I know what you mean about being afraid to show your face to your boyfriend. I was stuck in the cycle of never showing guys the real me (including, but not limited to, taking off my makeup) and I realized it was a problem. I had been single for a while and when I met this guy and started to develop feelings for him, I just handled the situation. Right then and there I stopped wearing and skin makeup (eye makeup I LOVE haha) and decided that if he wanted me, he would want me with or without the foundation. Not only did it help me clear up a bit, but I was sooooo relieved that after the first few days of wearing no concealer, people didn't run screaming. And lo and behold he still liked me, and we've been dating several months now. :)

All in all, the "problems" we see in ourselves are often magnified by our own insecurities. It's probably not that bad. Guys aren't stupid, they know we wear makeup, and they know we look different without it. He'll be mature enough to handle it (that or he won't even care) and if he isn't, well, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. He should love you, pimples and all.

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