Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
NyanNyan

Feel like a bullet just shot straight through me

Recommended Posts

Well I've been on the regimen for about a month and a half now, and thought I was seeing results. Today I went in the sun and decided to look in the mirror, which is something I haven't done in months while in the sun but I wanted to give it a try. That one glance just completely shattered everything, I've never seen such a horrible looking face and skin tone. It's completely uneven everywhere and very lifeless and dull looking, I couldn't believe it was myself in that mirror. How is it I can look so good in my house yet no matter where I am in the sun, I look like absolute shit.

I'm not even sure what to do anymore I just lost every grain of confidence in my body, I feel like sleeping now for a very long time, I can't put up with this shit much longer. My face hasn't changed a bit in 6 months in the sun, it still looks like absolute crap. Maybe I have more than just acne, something about my skin just doesn't look right....

What can I do? I just want to start living a good life already, I want to get a job, go to college but how the hell can I if I can't function in the real world I can't even keep a simple conversation with another person anymore, I can't accept myself so how can I expect other people to, it doesn't work that way........... End of rant I just needed to get that out, I'm grateful for this forum and everyone here, I could never tell anyone else all this..

Edited by cohen888

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally can relate to you! I feel like everythings going ok and then I catch myself in a mirror with bad lighting, see a crap photo of myself, or get a breakout. It just shatters and cripples me to the point I turn in to a crying mess.

I could tell you a bunch of cliches that people like to tell me but it never works. The only way I've been able to make myself a bit better was to go on Accutane. Keeping yourself busy helps too. When I have a day off and nothing to do I sit and think about how ugly I am but then when I'm busy at work it never crosses my mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am the same exact way, i do my best to not think about it but its impossible. Hate that when i start to clear a bit then another horrible breakout happens, and of course the horrors of the mirrors never helps. I lose my appetite a lot and all i feel like doing is sleeping. I dont though most of the time, ill just start exercising around the house, got a small weight room and do floor exercises to keep my mind away. If my face looks like shit at least i can have a toned body ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i totally understand how you feel. it happens with my makeup too. like i'll think my makeup looks so good and that my skin looks so clear, and i'll go outside with a mirror and it will look all cakey and unblended and just awful. it makes me want to cry

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for replying everyone, it's good to know I'm not alone in this. Well as the day went by things only got worse because I decided to drop everything today and stay inside all day, now my family is angry with me and I may have lost a friend, great weekend. Oh well I'm over it now, thanks again guys.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I know right!!! My skin looks horrible in sunlight or any too much of light exposure. Everything can be seen, especially my acne scars... They are so obviously out there, that it is so embarassing. Plus i'm scared to wear any face makeup, bacause it might make my acne worse, making more skin complications.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll just start off by acknowledging I am the queen of giving advice, and an absolute pessimist when taking it.

And in saying that, I think we're our own worse enemies: we know every nook and detail of our skin, every indent, every mark, every miniscule trait. Lighting is the cruelest when it comes to acne, and I too have posted here when it just completely shot my day and made me feel like I'd gone one step forward, two steps back.

But I think everyone is the same: I know a girl who does the whole layering thing with her makeup, and she looks flawless. But one day, when I remarked to her how much I hate fluroescent lighting, she said the same! And I couldn't see anything on her to so much as hint that she's have a problem with her skin.

This world has so many variables, that we'll never be able to control how we look 100% of the time: perception and environment play major parts in everyday life. But just remember that no matter what the circumstance, at the core of it you are a person, with real emotions, personality and dreams. No matter how you look on the outside, which can change a hundred times in one day, you are always YOU. You are in control, you are the one looking outward to a world and future where the only limits we should worry about are the ones we allow to fence us in.

Take care everyone xo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

most people look quite bad in sun or any harsh light-source.

that is just how the sun rolls.

its such a hater.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×