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JoeBloggs

How do you handle the stares?

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I remember before I got acne I used to get stared at alot, I also used to consider myself pretty good looking so I didnt mind the stares and they were little ego boosters for me.

But then I went through a bout of severe acne which left both my cheeks moderately/severely scarred and discoloured.

Currently I dont really have any acne (except the odd spot every now and again), but my cheeks are badly scarred.

Nowadays people still stare at me every so often but its pretty normal, but then on the odd day (like today for instance), I'll get seriously loads of people staring at me, guys and girls of all ages, little kids aswell will just stare.

The thing is I know my scarring is noticable, Ive accepted that, but Ive managed to convince myself that my scarring, although noticable, doesnt look horrible. And I can go for months with this mentality, somedays I'll even kinda forget that I have any skin problems and I'll actually feel kinda confident when im out and about.

But then a day like today will happen where every fucker in the world seems to be staring at me for no apparant reason and it'll just crush me and all the doubts and insecurities that Ive managed to push away come flooding back into my head.

The thing that messes with my head is contantly wondering WHY they are staring at me, I just wish I could read peoples minds, it would be easier to handle if I KNEW they were staring at my scarring because then at least Id know why people were staring and I could start to accept it, but because its impossible to tell what people are staring at it just drives me mental trying to figure it out.

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i know right same thing happens to me like when i go get a haircut and litle kids stare at me im like are they staring at my acne or what ..or like im always paranoid when i go outside...like someone can be looking at me and emediatly i think they are staring at my acne ...i fucking hate that feeling

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I don't want to insult you because the stares are tough for me too, so try not to get offended. People will tend to focus on something that is different or out of the ordinary, your scars might be different from the faces they are used to seeing so they are looking a little more intently at your scars.

It's a subconscious mind reflex...

The way I deal with it is: don't take it personally, very few people have intent to hurt you by staring at you or saying something, the majority are just not used seeing someone with acne scars. Keep living your life and don't let what other people say and do control your life.

It's the same thing with really good looking people, a guy with six pack abs or a girl with large breasts, it takes a lot of self control to avert your eyes you just want to see this thing that you haven't seen before or don't see very often...

Edited by rolltide

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thats why i just dont go out in public.

Don't want people to stare at your six pack?

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hey bro i know exactly what you mean but like rolltide said its a persons instinct to just look at something, but im sure many people dont do it to insult you. I use to break out on my cheeks and i hated going out of my house because i felt everyone would just look at me, so i didnt do much for a while and later i just tried started trying to ignore all these negative thoughts and i decided to just be ME and not care what people would see or think. so just stay strong and dont let acne take over your life :cool:

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sometimes little kids stare at me, and I don't think my face looks THAT bad that people/kids need to stare but I guess I'm used to it. It gets awkward but it doesn't really bother me.

Usually I get people who avoid eye contact with me when my face looks really bad.

Edited by Geeking

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I flash them an infectious smile and continue about my day. When my face was bad, people stared so much, I guess I just got used to it.

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The thing is, most days I can convince myself that my skin doesnt look too bad, even if people can see my scarring so what? So what if some kids stare, thats what they do. I manage to convince myself that people see my scarring but can look past it, maybe they are staring at me for more positive reasons.

Its just when one of them days rolls around, maybe once every month or so, when an abnormal amount of people start staring at me, I end up feeling like Ive been completely kidding myself for the last couple of weeks and that my scarring is horrendous.

I think that what all of 'those days' have in common is that its mainly guys that stare. When a whole load of guys start staring at me it messes with my head, because they most probably aint staring at me because they think Im attractive (Im a guy).

EDIT: I dont really get insulted by people staring though, its just that it confuses me more than anything, especially if I think im having a good skin day.

Edited by JoeBloggs

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Usually I get people who avoid eye contact with me when my face looks really bad.

Yeah I get the same reaction.

Idk, I'm sort of often lost in my in little world when I'm going about my business, so I probably don't even notice all the stares I get. I have had those moments too though, when someone just studies your face like your from another planet and I just want to slap them upside the head.

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I hide it the best I can.

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you have a middle finger, right?

use it.

LYSA UPLOAD A PIC OF YOURSELF I WANNA SEE HOW YOU LOOK LIKE ? because your pic is effing annoying

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you have a middle finger, right?

use it.

LYSA UPLOAD A PIC OF YOURSELF I WANNA SEE HOW YOU LOOK LIKE ? because your pic is effing annoying

Wow, you know, I'm not being facetious when I say that more often than not, girls love going for guys like you. Sad but true.

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-Lower you eyes, and look to the ground whenever people walk past you.

-Wear a hood when you have one.

-Lurk in the shadows whenever possible. Avoid the sun like the plague.

-Do NOT look in mirrors.

-Wear headphones and list to music (or dont) so people dont talk to you, and so you dont have to hear any hurtful comments. It also keeps you distracted

-Find something to keep your mind off your problems. Read a book, write a story, play a game, go to the movies...

Welcome to my life - Where reality is just around the corner.

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-Lower you eyes, and look to the ground whenever people walk past you.

-Wear a hood when you have one.

-Lurk in the shadows whenever possible. Avoid the sun like the plague.

-Do NOT look in mirrors.

-Wear headphones and list to music (or dont) so people dont talk to you, and so you dont have to hear any hurtful comments. It also keeps you distracted

-Find something to keep your mind off your problems. Read a book, write a story, play a game, go to the movies...

Welcome to my life - Where reality is just around the corner.

Nice.

to add some more...

-don't go out unless you absolutely have to

-when in public, take longer routes if it means less interaction with people

-shop late at night, early in the morning. Walmart opens 24/7.

-do NOT look in mirrors - cannot emphasize this enough. if you don't know it's there, it's all good

-always keep in mind which side of your face looks better. do not let people see your worse side

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-Lower you eyes, and look to the ground whenever people walk past you.

-Wear a hood when you have one.

-Lurk in the shadows whenever possible. Avoid the sun like the plague.

-Do NOT look in mirrors.

-Wear headphones and list to music (or dont) so people dont talk to you, and so you dont have to hear any hurtful comments. It also keeps you distracted

-Find something to keep your mind off your problems. Read a book, write a story, play a game, go to the movies...

Welcome to my life - Where reality is just around the corner.

Nice.

to add some more...

-don't go out unless you absolutely have to

-when in public, take longer routes if it means less interaction with people

-shop late at night, early in the morning. Walmart opens 24/7.

-do NOT look in mirrors - cannot emphasize this enough. if you don't know it's there, it's all good

-always keep in mind which side of your face looks better. do not let people see your worse side

good points.

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you have a middle finger, right?

use it.

LYSA UPLOAD A PIC OF YOURSELF I WANNA SEE HOW YOU LOOK LIKE ? because your pic is effing annoying

Uhm? I'm not changing my avatar just to please you. And I have pics in my gallery dude.

AND YOUR TYPING IN CAPS IS EFFING ANNOYING TOO.

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Ive learnt to ignore it. When I say learnt I mean its what I have to try and do. Just because their staring at you again, it doesnt mean their staring at your acne, does it? Why not think their staring at your face because you look good? Infact, they probably are, and I can tell because you said yourself that your scaring doesnt look horrible.

When you see an inperfection on your own skin, you convince yourself that its literally 10 times as bad as it actually is, so for you to say its not horrible, other people will see it as absolutely nothing.

Just go out, understand that people dont judge you because of how you look, they judge you on how you make them feel, chances are you stare at someone else who has spots and it might effect them, but really your not doing it to hurt them, just because you know how it feels.

Edited by ben90

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She had a picture up of herself before I do believe. I saw it if so. Why does it matter anyways?

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Seriously. Stop looking at it if it bothers you so much. :rolleyes:

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