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Mr President

Am I destroying myself without even realising it

Hey all ! I'm 23 now and have had acne since i was 12 and started getting more and more and scarring ever since. My parents are dealing with their own problems and i dont think they ever noticed, though around 6 months back it started getting pretty bad and a I started accutane (1 month ago). A good step I guess.

I've always been nervous about my skin and have purchased both acne and scar peels for years. Whilst they helped, they never helped completely. Maybe a 10% improvement each time. I told myself one day it would be over and kept dating, going out and pretending to be happy. I dated the most awesome people in my view and loved them all heaps. At the same time, I've always found it hard though to care about someone else when I'm insecure about myself. So I promised myself I wouldnt date until I was good again.

Recently though, with these new breakouts and scarring (i now have more than double the amount of scarring I did 6 months ago) i guess i feel its all falling apart. I see my face getting worse and worse each day and thats very tough. My dermatologist is like its a fact of life.

I've stopped going out with my mates and im even more ashamed to see the people I used to date. I mainly just stay home, cook for my family, clean the house, watch tv, study or roam these boards. I feel if I can be a helpful person, maybe they will like having me around more !

I've come up with the most elaborate range of treatments to get rid of it. 6 months of tca cross treatments while im at work, followed by a fraxel repair treatment in my holidays, followed by even more crosses and another fraxel repair if the results arent good. all of this will take a few years. I sometimes wonder if its worth it, if I have to put so much effort in. At the same time though, im definitely not suicidal, although i do think of it sometimes.

Im a really social guy and I know under all these Im okay looking, though acne and scarring (the pitted kind) definitely detract from that. I'll be in my mid twenties once I reach a better stage, if any and yeah I guess am wasting the best years of my life.

Lol the realisation is I guess, am I wasting my life by hiding away? At the same time though I do have a physical problem and I guess I cant pretend its nothing. Kids stare, friends ask about it and new people scan my face whilst talking. Hmmm any advice would be lovely :)

Sorry to be so gloomy too. I guess I'm letting it get to the better of me.

Edited by cartwheeling_monkey

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Hey all ! I'm 23 now and have had acne since i was 12 and started getting more and more and scarring ever since. My parents are dealing with their own problems and i dont think they ever noticed, though around 6 months back it started getting pretty bad and a I started accutane (1 month ago). A good step I guess.

I've always been nervous about my skin and have purchased both acne and scar peels for years. Whilst they helped, they never helped completely. Maybe a 10% improvement each time. I told myself one day it would be over and kept dating, going out and pretending to be happy. I dated the most awesome people in my view and loved them all heaps. At the same time, I've always found it hard though to care about someone else when I'm insecure about myself. So I promised myself I wouldnt date until I was good again.

Recently though, with these new breakouts and scarring (i now have more than double the amount of scarring I did 6 months ago) i guess i feel its all falling apart. I see my face getting worse and worse each day and thats very tough. My dermatologist is like its a fact of life.

I've stopped going out with my mates and im even more ashamed to see the people I used to date. I mainly just stay home, cook for my family, clean the house, watch tv, study or roam these boards. I feel if I can be a helpful person, maybe they will like having me around more !

I've come up with the most elaborate range of treatments to get rid of it. 6 months of tca cross treatments while im at work, followed by a fraxel repair treatment in my holidays, followed by even more crosses and another fraxel repair if the results arent good. all of this will take a few years. I sometimes wonder if its worth it, if I have to put so much effort in. At the same time though, im definitely not suicidal, although i do think of it sometimes.

Im a really social guy and I know under all these Im okay looking, though acne and scarring (the pitted kind) definitely detract from that. I'll be in my mid twenties once I reach a better stage, if any and yeah I guess am wasting the best years of my life.

Lol the realisation is I guess, am I wasting my life by hiding away? At the same time though I do have a physical problem and I guess I cant pretend its nothing. Kids stare, friends ask about it and new people scan my face whilst talking. Hmmm any advice would be lovely :)

Sorry to be so gloomy too. I guess I'm letting it get to the better of me.

Monkey,

I'm sorry. I know that's sounds rather cheap, but frankly that's all I have learned to say to people who are feeling the same way as you do, including myself. I wish I could make all your problems go away, but I can't. I wish I could make all my problems vanish, but it's not possible to just make them go away like that. It's going to take time, and it's going to take effort. If kids stare, stare back. If people ask what's with your face, just be honest and frank. Tell them you're doing everything you can to keep it under control. In reality, that's all you can do. If you want to survive in this shallow, cruel world, you have to learn how to cope. That's how you learn how to have tolerance, and tolerance is what makes you brave, bravery is what makes you stronger, and strength is what makes you a survivor. Acne isn't supposed to define who you are, but it will if you let it.

Now, I'm not saying that I have successfully practiced these words of wisdom, but Lord knows I'm trying. I've got your back, just like everyone else here.

Edited by khagema1

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Hey all ! I'm 23 now and have had acne since i was 12 and started getting more and more and scarring ever since. My parents are dealing with their own problems and i dont think they ever noticed, though around 6 months back it started getting pretty bad and a I started accutane (1 month ago). A good step I guess.

I've always been nervous about my skin and have purchased both acne and scar peels for years. Whilst they helped, they never helped completely. Maybe a 10% improvement each time. I told myself one day it would be over and kept dating, going out and pretending to be happy. I dated the most awesome people in my view and loved them all heaps. At the same time, I've always found it hard though to care about someone else when I'm insecure about myself. So I promised myself I wouldnt date until I was good again.

Recently though, with these new breakouts and scarring (i now have more than double the amount of scarring I did 6 months ago) i guess i feel its all falling apart. I see my face getting worse and worse each day and thats very tough. My dermatologist is like its a fact of life.

I've stopped going out with my mates and im even more ashamed to see the people I used to date. I mainly just stay home, cook for my family, clean the house, watch tv, study or roam these boards. I feel if I can be a helpful person, maybe they will like having me around more !

I've come up with the most elaborate range of treatments to get rid of it. 6 months of tca cross treatments while im at work, followed by a fraxel repair treatment in my holidays, followed by even more crosses and another fraxel repair if the results arent good. all of this will take a few years. I sometimes wonder if its worth it, if I have to put so much effort in. At the same time though, im definitely not suicidal, although i do think of it sometimes.

Im a really social guy and I know under all these Im okay looking, though acne and scarring (the pitted kind) definitely detract from that. I'll be in my mid twenties once I reach a better stage, if any and yeah I guess am wasting the best years of my life.

Lol the realisation is I guess, am I wasting my life by hiding away? At the same time though I do have a physical problem and I guess I cant pretend its nothing. Kids stare, friends ask about it and new people scan my face whilst talking. Hmmm any advice would be lovely :)

Sorry to be so gloomy too. I guess I'm letting it get to the better of me.

Monkey,

I'm sorry. I know that's sounds rather cheap, but frankly that's all I have learned to say to people who are feeling the same way as you do, including myself. I wish I could make all your problems go away, but I can't. I wish I could make all my problems vanish, but it's not possible to just make them go away like that. It's going to take time, and it's going to take effort. If kids stare, stare back. If people ask what's with your face, just be honest and frank. Tell them you're doing everything you can to keep it under control. In reality, that's all you can do. If you want to survive in this shallow, cruel world, you have to learn how to cope. That's how you learn how to have tolerance, and tolerance is what makes you brave, bravery is what makes you stronger, and strength is what makes you a survivor. Acne isn't supposed to define who you are, but it will if you let it.

Now, I'm not saying that I have successfully practiced these words of wisdom, but Lord knows I'm trying. I've got your back, just like everyone else here.

Great response khagema1, seriously really good advice. We can all relate to how hard it can be to get out there and be among people confidentally and openly. However, you will find no more satisfaction with the alternative of staying home...being recluse and hiding.

Going out and being judged at certain times, stared at, maybe even a little ridiculed....those things may happen, yes. I'm not going to tell you that confidence alone can avoid those realities. But facing these situations, and handling them straight on as best you can will help you overcome your acne far better than hiding at home and avoiding them altogether ever will. If you are ever confronted about it, just be honest about it and move on. If someone is to poke fun at your acne, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself a little bit. You may even find that it helps you put the issue into some perspective. People will respect you far more if you are handling this issue confidently and in stride instead of letting it break you. I also have not always practiced what I preach but I do the best I can. I've sat at home and avoided things when my face got bad but that only seemed to make things worse. Then I started feeling sorry for myself and next thing I knew I was finding more and more reasons to avoid going out.

If I seriously thought that all of us sitting in our houses....looking in the mirror feeling disgusted would eventually lead to overcoming this thing then I'd agree that we should all be doing that. But most people are on here, myself included, because the acne has not gone away as it has for other people out there. Or is just bad enough to warrant being a legit problem.

Good luck man and like she said we've got your back.

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remember ur not alone...i like wut ^ they said..couldn't have said it better...sometimes i too feel like i'm hiding..not really going out..meeting new people..its tuff..but sounds like ur on ur way to finding new ways to overcome the acne and scarring..i wish u the best..

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remember ur not alone...i like wut ^ they said..couldn't have said it better...sometimes i too feel like i'm hiding..not really going out..meeting new people..its tuff..but sounds like ur on ur way to finding new ways to overcome the acne and scarring..i wish u the best..

thanks for all the responses guys and its definitely helped a bit :)

Edited by cartwheeling_monkey

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Cartwheeling_monkey I know what you mean about not wanting people to see you now that you have acne. Like you don't live up to the once great standards of yourself in their eyes.

But the thing is, is this is REAL LIFE. Like, think about it. Think about life. It's SO unbelieveably short. Any day could be the last. Don't waste a WHOLE year of your life, think about all the things you could be doing. YOU can do whatever you want. It's your life (:.

I really wish I could just like hug you, because whenever I am venting about acne I just want someone to be like "I accept you". Not in a romantic way, but a unfailing friend way. There are most likely people wayyyyy worse of than you. The only thing you should do is stop comparing yourself to images you wish you looked like and to stop listening to judgement. You're freaking beautiful/handsome-- tell yourself that. Give yourself confidence before people start to mentally tear you down, because when you have that level of self-esteem (even if your sort of faking it, because I do that sometimes) you have control of the situation.

Keep writing!! You can work your way out of this (:

Inspire yourself.

btw do you live in Australia?. . "mate"...? i love it when people say that =D

Edited by mslily009

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