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Today wasn't a great one for me, unfortunately. I've had microdermabrasion done, and am finally using some good Vitamin C and A products, but despite all the improvement (and future possibility of more) I just felt like the ugliest girl in the world.

Before we went out shopping, I caught a look in my face and the light hit it in that way that makes me feel like I've been run over by the Lego bus too many times. Mottled, pitted, whatever: all I can see are these indents, and I feel ugly. Different. I just want to look like everyone else.

I worry that my face looks skewed, that my skin is disfigured. And then, whenever I try and tell myself to wait and see what my body does naturally (since some of the scarring is less than a year old) I scoff at my own self-delusion. I can't help it: whenever I try to look on the bright side, I tell myself I'm being unrealistic. I tell myself that there's a realist agenda behind everything, that none is likely to think I'm pretty, or normal. Or even pretty normal.

I wish I could drink a glass half-full of some miracle cure to make this all better.

Sorry for the vent, but I can't find anywhere else to do it. Thanks guys xo

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I know exactly how you feel, the same thing has happened to me over and over again. It seems you get a day where your skin feels great and you're feeling good, then suddenly you get a glimpse in a reflection or a mirror and after that the rest of the day is pretty much gone. I think a lot of people have also experienced this.

Yes if only there was some miracle juice you could drink out there, everything would be solved. I know your probably tired of hearing this but whatever you do don't give up, because when you do it's pretty much all downhill from there. The only tips I can give you is exercise, eat healthy, and keep trying new things to clear your skin, just hang in there.

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I know how you feel. I hope it at least makes you feel better that your not alone. How old are you? If your young you still have hope. I know this isn't saying much, but there is nothing greater than youth. Even with the acne man. I don't expect you to believe me since I didn't believe it myself when I was 13. Now that I'm pushing 22 (thats still young) I see that youth is great.

And yet, like you, I catch a glimpse of myself on a car mirror and I'm disgusted. It's worse for me since I'm a guy and I can't find comfort in make up. Although believe me I have pondered on using make up. Anyway, your not alone. There is no miracle cure. But we're not doomed. We just gotta keep looking.

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The miracle cure is to stop letting your mood be entirely dictated by the way you look. At every stage of life you will have challenges and they never stop coming.

When your acne disappears and you get older it will be wrinkles. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of fussing over the way you look when you could be enjoying the short time you have on this planet.

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Thanks everyone for the replies; I'm sorry I haven't acknowledged them sooner.

I think it's the thought of being...damaged, I guess, that gets to me. I've dealt with other areas to do with my sense of self and appearance over the past couple of years, but I personally can;t get past the feeling somethimes that I'm irreparable, or less than 100%.

It does suck, though, that I feel like I should do something about my scarring. All these procedures and surgeries you can get, that cost a fortune and may not even work, are advertised like the only option when confronted with something like scarring. Like I can't own my scarring, just a physical aspect, can;t make it into something that's as normal a freckles or curly hair.

I've always cared too much of what other people think, and I'm tired of it holding me back from relationships, personal happiness, self-appreciation...

And something about this shallow, standardised society needs to change too.

Hurmph. :snooty:

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Some days i go without 'active acne' for a while, but it doesn't matter because my face is scared in such a way that it just looks dirty all the time with red marks and scars :(

I think I'll be alone forever.

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