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ok , firstly my first job was only a few months ago (xmas temp) and it made me feel good inside, like an accomplishment

but firstly u should understand that everyone here is here because they are in the same or similar situations as you mate, im 17 and my acne has been the same since i was 14, i wake up im the mornings and its horrible, but i now know how to deal with it, you just have to ignore it, and i know that might not sound true but once you start ignoring it physicaly u just ignore it mentally after a while, if what u are saying is true then you owe it to your self to get some professional help, you are a human being just like everyone else on this planet, and to be honest i hate it when people say 'its just acne', its frustrating i know but what pisses me off more is that its true, your probably a nice young man so let the world see it, acne sucks mate but NEVER let it take you under, whats the point ? type up a cv and go get some work wats the worst that could happen :) ?

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I have some advice on your situation. You should try not too feel so bad for yourself. I know acne really sucks, I'm a teen in high school as well and I have really bad acne. My face is so red that people tell me I have sunburn and it really hurts inside. It is utterly humiliating, but one day I decided that I couldn't live my life in misery. I got tired of coming home from school everyday and crying just because of my embarrassing acne. I frequently sit down with my dad and tell him how acne makes me feel. I think that you shouldn't let acne take this much control over your life and that instead you need to start taking control over your life. Who cares what people think. Most people have the sense not to comment about it and understand that it is not easy to deal with and that you are trying to make it better. A ton of people have and are dealing with acne as bad or even worse than yours.They'll understand even though at times you feel like nobody ever does. So just get a job. Because 20 years from now you might be happy that you did. Getting a job means that you are able to move on with your life. And consider the fact that you won't have acne forever! In fact you'll only have acne for a small portion of your life. So just think don't throw away your life just because of acne. Okay, so it seems to me that you and your mom have some major communication problems. You need to stop showing your mom that acne "kills" you and tell her how it makes you feel. Approach her calmly( no matter how much she might frustrate you) and ask her to sit down with you. Hold her hand or something ( you could even cry a little if you want to) look her straight in the eyes and tell her in a very calm voice how you feel everyday and how it makes you feel when shes not being sympathetic towards your feelings. Tell her how much you love her and need her in this time of your life( because you really do, you can't do this alone). She might try to comfort you and if she does you need to let her. You could even hug her. Remember to tell her how much you need her. She'll really like to hear this. You're her son and no matter how she acts or what you do she'll always love you and you'll always love her( trust me I know, but thats another story). I suggest that you go into therapy together because seeing a therapist might help you with your acne troubles and your relationship with your mom. And might even help with stress. Hope this helps. By the way I'm not saying that what you're moms doing is right but the way you're going about it isn't helping your situation at all. You need to realize that you need to do this for you're well being. If you need a person to talk to it might help if you call a therapist in your area and tell him your situation and ask him if he could help you. I believe that most insurance companies cover the cost of visiting one and it would'nt be hard to make an appointment.

Edited by halibaba
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Wow, this sounds A LOT like my life right now. I'm currently in the same situation, just sitting around, jobless, hating life and myself. Unable to get the help I need and unable to change. I do most of the house work which gets my mom off my back about the job thing a lot of the time, but I'm still under a lot of pressure. I can relate to what you say about thinking your mom might not be such a great parent sometimes. My family is a wreck. I'm suicidal and mentally unstable, my older sister is an alcoholic and has had more full-on physical fights with my mom than I think any mother and daughter should have (doesn't seem like there should be any at all :confused: ), and my younger sisters are two of the most disgustingly behaved children I have ever seen in my life (I'm not exaggerating at all when I say this, seriously). It's like, do you not see that something is wrong here? This is not how a family should be. It's hard to say who's really to blame.

I can't offer you much advice. Just saying that you're not alone. I know it's not what you want to hear, but your best and probably only option right now is to get a job with minimal exposure to people. Something you can do from home or during the night shift. You probably don't even need to do it right away. Just kind of passively looking for one and letting your mom know that you're taking some action will probably get her off your back for a little while and buy you some time. And once you do have one, I'm sure she'll be more willing to help you out with your problems (like finding counseling and what not).

Best of luck. Hang in there.

Edited by King Rat
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I was in a similar situation back in high school. I was terrified to step out of my own house. I couldn't talk to my parents about it, much less a counselor. I had to do it all by myself. If you cant get a job and if you cant get counseling then you will have to incorporate yourself back into the world one step at a time. Alone. I'm not asking you to go run off to be a cash register or anything but you said you walk your dog? build off from that. Just go out in public more often. Go to the park, go shopping, go to the movies, just be 'out there'. Eventually it won't get as bad. I forced myself to stop worrying so much about what people thought of me. Now, I don't have the best social life out there but it is better. I am now going to college, and I have made a couple of friends. Sometimes I will hang out with them - go to the movies, play videogames, picnics, whatever. I still feel uncomfortable when I am out in public by myself but hey I learned that life was more than the four rooms of my bedroom in which I incarcerated myself throughout highschool - and I learned that my laptop's 15 inch screen was not a very good window to the outside world.

Now I am freaking out because I have a 4 minute presentation for my Comm 120 class in 2 weeks. Why did I have to take that damn class this quarter? :doh:

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Okay so here's the deal. I just turned 19. I've never had a job before. Back when I was in school (middle and high school) I was never told to get a job like most other kids were, I just focused on school. However now I don't attend school and now that I'm 19 and still living at home, I'm getting constant pressure every single day to get a job. Mentally, I can't. My mind just tells me that getting a job isn't an option, being around people isn't an option (mainly because of acne but also because of anxiety and depression issues).

I've tried many times to try to get my mom to understand my mental state and why getting a job isn't an option in my mind. Her and her boyfriend are extremely frustrated by this and I'm constantly threatened to be kicked out, even though they know I have no where to go. She says "it's just acne". Instead of trying to understand my problems and help me, she just keeps making my life worse and worse for me. She's already cut off cable on my TV in my room and now she's starting to take away my laptop like I'm some little kid. I know that doesn't seem like a huge deal but when you never leave the house and you don't have TV or a computer to use, it makes life even shittier.

I've even tried showing her that I'm not okay, like screaming "HELP ME" without even saying it. I know this is going to sound kinda psycho but yesterday I was so angry at her because she locked up my laptop for some fuckin bullshit reason, so I went to the kitchen where she was doing the dishes and I told her to look at me and I grabbed a knife and started cutting my wrists in front of her. I've never cut myself before and no I didn't make myself bleed, I only tore some skin. I just wanted so badly to show her what she's doing to me and making me do to myself but it didn't even seem to phase her. She only yelled at me like "omg don't do that" and now 1 day later she's back to threatening me and making my life a living hell. I just wish she knew what it felt like to be me...

Any advice on my situation is really appreciated, I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm living in a nightmare that never ends.

Jay, buddy, i know exactly where you're coming from, my family never understood what my acne did to my mind either, they didnt bug me about a job until i finished high school, and yeah i was a cutter, for almost 6 years, and ive attempted suicide more than once, its not a road you wanna go down....it took more than i thought i had in me to come back to some sense of normal in my life, but it happened. A job may not be such a bad idea though, my first job was at mcdonalds, totally greasy so EVERYONE there had zits, and i fit right in (mostly did kitchen stuff anyway), and i was at a movie theatre for 2 years after that, i was 18 at the time and i was still one of the older kids at the theatre, so lots of acne (and other, more depressing), i made projection manager really quick, i was a good worker, and i was even able to help some younger kids with their issues....the point of alll this is that the jobs helped me in more ways than one. Making my own money for the first time taught me money management and responsibility, but ultimately they gave me what i was lacking the most, confidence. I slowly came into my own and realized i was more than my acne, i was busier so i had less time to be a cutter or depressed; i was making money so there was less reason to feel dependent on my parents; and i was gaining skills and confidence, and thinking clearly about my strengths. I left the theatre when my dad died because that completely messed me up and the job needed more than i could give it at the time, but i made lifelong friends there and learned a lot about myself. I went to school after that, at 20, will finish next year hopefully, and ive got a steady job now that i like, and yeah my acne and my past haunt me practically all the time and therer are moments where i just wanna scream and rip my hair out, but when im at work, i can just leave it at the door and focus, trust me it'll help, its not easy, and i KNOW it's all cliched and i probably sound preachy, but TRUST ME IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU

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Okay so here's the deal. I just turned 19. I've never had a job before. Back when I was in school (middle and high school) I was never told to get a job like most other kids were, I just focused on school. However now I don't attend school and now that I'm 19 and still living at home, I'm getting constant pressure every single day to get a job. Mentally, I can't. My mind just tells me that getting a job isn't an option, being around people isn't an option (mainly because of acne but also because of anxiety and depression issues).

I've tried many times to try to get my mom to understand my mental state and why getting a job isn't an option in my mind. Her and her boyfriend are extremely frustrated by this and I'm constantly threatened to be kicked out, even though they know I have no where to go. She says "it's just acne". Instead of trying to understand my problems and help me, she just keeps making my life worse and worse for me. She's already cut off cable on my TV in my room and now she's starting to take away my laptop like I'm some little kid. I know that doesn't seem like a huge deal but when you never leave the house and you don't have TV or a computer to use, it makes life even shittier.

I've even tried showing her that I'm not okay, like screaming "HELP ME" without even saying it. I know this is going to sound kinda psycho but yesterday I was so angry at her because she locked up my laptop for some fuckin bullshit reason, so I went to the kitchen where she was doing the dishes and I told her to look at me and I grabbed a knife and started cutting my wrists in front of her. I've never cut myself before and no I didn't make myself bleed, I only tore some skin. I just wanted so badly to show her what she's doing to me and making me do to myself but it didn't even seem to phase her. She only yelled at me like "omg don't do that" and now 1 day later she's back to threatening me and making my life a living hell. I just wish she knew what it felt like to be me...

Any advice on my situation is really appreciated, I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm living in a nightmare that never ends.

Jay, buddy, i know exactly where you're coming from, my family never understood what my acne did to my mind either, they didnt bug me about a job until i finished high school, and yeah i was a cutter, for almost 6 years, and ive attempted suicide more than once, its not a road you wanna go down....it took more than i thought i had in me to come back to some sense of normal in my life, but it happened. A job may not be such a bad idea though, my first job was at mcdonalds, totally greasy so EVERYONE there had zits, and i fit right in (mostly did kitchen stuff anyway), and i was at a movie theatre for 2 years after that, i was 18 at the time and i was still one of the older kids at the theatre, so lots of acne (and other, more depressing), i made projection manager really quick, i was a good worker, and i was even able to help some younger kids with their issues....the point of alll this is that the jobs helped me in more ways than one. Making my own money for the first time taught me money management and responsibility, but ultimately they gave me what i was lacking the most, confidence. I slowly came into my own and realized i was more than my acne, i was busier so i had less time to be a cutter or depressed; i was making money so there was less reason to feel dependent on my parents; and i was gaining skills and confidence, and thinking clearly about my strengths. I left the theatre when my dad died because that completely messed me up and the job needed more than i could give it at the time, but i made lifelong friends there and learned a lot about myself. I went to school after that, at 20, will finish next year hopefully, and ive got a steady job now that i like, and yeah my acne and my past haunt me practically all the time and therer are moments where i just wanna scream and rip my hair out, but when im at work, i can just leave it at the door and focus, trust me it'll help, its not easy, and i KNOW it's all cliched and i probably sound preachy, but TRUST ME IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU

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jay, buddy, i know where you're coming from...i was a cutter for six years, and i ve attempted suicide more than once, its not a road you EVER want to go down, it took more than i thought i had in me to come back to some sense of normal, but it happened.

My family bugged me about getting a job, during high school too, they were decent about it, they didnt understand what my acne was doing to me but they knew i had confidence issues and they thought a job would help. My dad's friend got me a job at mcdonalds, it was hot and greasy and EVERYONE who worked there broke out violently....so i fit right in! and it helped, i became more confident in a matter of weeks, and making my own money, not needing to rely on my parents as much, that really made me feel good about myself. I was at amc theatres for 2 years after that, i was 18 and a lot of the staff (we had 70 people there!) were younger than me, so they had issues i could help them through because i had gone through them myself, including acne. I learned a lot about myself during the time i worked there, i realized i had strengths in me id never understood, i became more confident and made lifelong friends there, i left that job when my dad passed away, i had other responsibilities to attend to, but i knew myself a lot better by then, and I even enrolled in school afterwards, distance education at first, then full-time, and now im 22 and ive got year left to go in school. I've got a job i like (i work at lenscrafterts, lab manger, i make glasses in an hour if u need'em!lol), and i can leave my issues at the door because i've learned how to manage these things a lot better than before....

Im not saying all this to try to convince you to go get a job, that's entirely your call, but believe me it'll help you, in more ways than just 'pull your weight around,' it'll give you the same confidence and insight about you that it gave me, i GUARANTEE that your confidence will shoot up to a point that seems impossible now, please think about it and you know we're all here to support you in any way we can.

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Thanks to all the above posters :) I like reading all your stories and the advice helps a lot.

Today in the car I brought up getting a therapist to my mom again and she said she still can't afford it. However she said that when we move back to Arizona (house here is currently for sale, just waiting) that I should be able to get free health insurance that will cover a therapist. As of right now I have her off my back about a job until summertime. She said that once we move to Arizona I will be given a time frame and if I'm not enrolled in school and/or have a job by that time, I will be kicked out. At least I have a few months, I'm happy about that and we'll see what happens.

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You said she would also let you enroll in school. Why don't you do that? I understand not wanting to leave your house because of your acne, but you will most likely need an education eventually. I mean if you don't have any money to pay for it then that's one things, but if she offers to pay for it then you should definitely consider going to school, it could be good for you.

But if you are set on getting a job then you should look into being a telemarketer, everyone you call will hate you forever, but you will have a job with little face to face contact. Or you could deliver papers for your local paper, its a dying business in my opinion, but lots of people still get the paper and the only person you have to interact with is your driver, or if you are the driver then your paper thrower person.

Just some stuff to think about. Good luck bro.

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To me getting a job is no different than going to school. I just don't want to be seen. She wouldn't be paying for it either, I guess I'd be getting financial aid. I don't know what I want to study yet, but maybe I'll take classes online and get a part time job or something...just depends what I'm looking like then I guess.

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Hi, the suggestion about getting a job on the night shift might help ease you in to the work force. Retail employers in particular have a tough time getting good people to work the third shift, and you might find that it is a win-win situation for both you and your new employer! Good luck!

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Dude, it's like you're telling my story. Except for the part of cutting yourself in front of your mom.

...Make up could help. I mean, it's okay, we live in these crazy times when everyone does all kinds of stuff.

About the job. Yes, I know you said it isn't an option. You need help, which leads me to the part where your mom said "we can't afford it".

A couple of years ago, I was feeling like crap, I used to cut myself, I tried to kill myself twice and was really the darkest stage of my life. I asked my mom to take me to a psychologist, but she didn't take it too seriusly.

I got over it all by myself. When no ones with you, you have to stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone have control you. Even if it's your mom.

You don't want a job. Who does? But if you want help, you have to get one. With money you could get attention.

...Maybe you will ignore that last part. SO, I would say that you should talk about this with a close friend you trust. You can't hide forever. Most of us are fighting every day, with people watching us, with a lot of problems, like depression and no self-esteem. So, it's unfair you're just avoiding the world. You're not a baby anymore. We ALL have to fight by ourselves. And if your family doesn't understand you, fine. Try to find someone who does, if you can't, well, do it yourself. Nobody's gonna fight for you.

Please, think about it this time. Time is passing by, and you are still young. Don't waste it.

Good luck with everything (:

Edited by Toni Lavigne
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That's when it's time for a road trip!!!! and you live off of the generous donations of random strangers. Of course, you'll have to wear make-up if you want anyone to help you out. But most people aren't as "corrupt" as I am. It's great, though. I lived out of my car for a month and a half. Best time ever. I traveled the country. I want to do it again, but sure enough, my parents are nagging me about getting a real job. They wondered where I got all this money for gas and food and everything. I was just like, from my old jobs.

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That is a very interesting idea...

I don't have a car though. I have money in the bank for a car whenever I need one (whenever I get a job) but I don't look at that money as car money. I look at that money as acne money, lol. I'm a sad sad person and my life is fuckin shit.

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@Harvestor Of Sorrow, thanks for that but that's not for me, haha.

@electric_feel, well um I guess college has never really been that important in my family. I don't believe my dad ever went to college and my mom never went to college until she was much older and that was only a few courses at a community college. So in terms of college that's always been completely left up to me. I think she knows it's my decision so there's no reason to force anything on me. To her making a steady (even if it's not alot) income is the most important. I guess all parents are different =P

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That is a very interesting idea...

I don't have a car though. I have money in the bank for a car whenever I need one (whenever I get a job) but I don't look at that money as car money. I look at that money as acne money, lol. I'm a sad sad person and my life is fuckin shit.

Wait..wait...you don't have a car?? lol. Then what about this birthday present your mom got you? That's funny.

I'm sorry about your life. My life is fucking shit....but only because I am a sad sad person. (My life could be good if I wasn't a sad, sad person.) Haha, I'll spare you the details.

So what do you use the acne money on? I mean, are the products you buy actually working? So I saw you mentioned to another user that your picture is about a year old....and your face was clear then. What happened? Has your face been since clearing up?

My acne doesn't bother me so much when I work. Sure, I would love to have a clear face, but that doesn't stop my boss from ordering me around lol. Just some simple advice. Do whatever will make your parents happy. I would much rather be at a college in or outside of Manhattan, but that's not what my parents would want. I'm 20 and I still get to live at home....and not have to worry about rent/food/etc. Haha, I'm a little depressed, but I'm so much happier than I would be if my parents kicked me out. Try to think about it like that. What's the lesser of two evils. Working but living at home, or working and living who knows where.

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Nope, no car. The car insurance my mom paid for as a birthday present is because I share a policy with her. She said if I stop my insurance and then get it again once I have a car, my rates will go higher. If I keep it and keep paying even though I rarely drive (sometimes I use her car) then my rates will go lower.

Yeah I use the money on like different vitamins and topicals and shit. Nothing has worked. I don't know what I was doing a year ago that kept my skin clear and it bothers me everyday, lol. It could be that I was living in a different state and it was always sunny and I would tan...or it could be some topical regimen I was on at the time. I can't figure it out because I did so many different things.

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Once you're out there, it doesn't really matter that much. It is a vicious cycle and you have to break it at some point. You have to take control of your life as opposed to letting acne take control of it.

When you're inside all the time, you tend to dedicate too much brain power to simple matters. Again, once you're out there in the open, you're chances of giving a fuck are drastically lowered. Confidence an communication prowess don't just happen, you have to develop them over time. The more time to get to develop them, the more they reward you.

You're loosing time... better hurry up and get things back on track again. Don't hide behind the veil of acne.

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i completely understand you. if it wasn't for the student loan that's currently helping me out I would be at my mums house and she woul be telling me to turn off the tv and computer because i'm wasting her money. on her off days she would constantly compare me to girls my age she knows that have made something of their lives.

Now that i'm older though she's a bit more sympathetic because she understands it wasn't just a phase and I wasn't just getting a kick out of playing the victim.

I can honestly say that when you're family acts this way, pushes you to do things it's because they're frustrated and want the best for you. after all, if we weren't restricted by acne wouldn't we want to constantly be out there, working earning our money to be independent?

the way in which they push us to get on with things is what can be horrible, but what they want us to do isn't.

Edited by beautifuldoll
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Thanks for the post =)

Yeah I know she has good intentions...I just wish so bad that she could understand me and walk a mile in my shoes.

The thing you said about your mom comparing you to other girls totally hits home with me. About a year ago (yeah a long time but I still remember because it still hurts) my mom was on the phone with her boyfriend and I over heard her boyfriend talking about his niece (who is the same age as I am) has a job, goes to school, getting ready for college, etc and how I just sit at home. No job, no school, no nothing. It hurts to be compared to other people...and it's not fair. Everyone is different.

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