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GuardedlyOptimistic

I am scarred, I am ugly, I give up

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Hi all,

I'm having an especially bad day today. Been on ortho tricyclen for 3 weeks...nothing. i have a major cyst on my cheek and i'm left side is completely scarred. i feel like a disfigured monster. i tried, dianette which worked but i went off it because i was afraid of the sideeffect, i went on alesse which made my skin worse, i am on otc..we'll see...was on minocyline which is garbabe. never take antibiotics!! you'll get bacterial resistance!!! and.....besides taking accutane....which i'm terrified to do...i'm done....

i'm ugly. and that's all there is to it. i'll never be beautiful again. i hate my face. and.....i'm starting to hate the world and realize there is no point to anything.

i went to my cousin's wedding shower. she's happy, 100 pounds, clear skin...and then there's me....awful skin, unhappy...etc etc....

when did i break the mirror and get this bad luck? not to mention i don't know what to do with my career and my dad has been in the hospital for 2 years. when the fuck does it all get better?

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Hi all,

I'm having an especially bad day today. Been on ortho tricyclen for 3 weeks...nothing. i have a major cyst on my cheek and i'm left side is completely scarred. i feel like a disfigured monster. i tried, dianette which worked but i went off it because i was afraid of the sideeffect, i went on alesse which made my skin worse, i am on otc..we'll see...was on minocyline which is garbabe. never take antibiotics!! you'll get bacterial resistance!!! and.....besides taking accutane....which i'm terrified to do...i'm done....

i'm ugly. and that's all there is to it. i'll never be beautiful again. i hate my face. and.....i'm starting to hate the world and realize there is no point to anything.

i went to my cousin's wedding shower. she's happy, 100 pounds, clear skin...and then there's me....awful skin, unhappy...etc etc....

when did i break the mirror and get this bad luck? not to mention i don't know what to do with my career and my dad has been in the hospital for 2 years. when the fuck does it all get better?

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I don't know if this will make you feel any better but... I think i'm the ugliest person in the world. I am very, very pale, I am probably the whitest person i've seen, and on top of that, I have horrible, horrible, horrible acne (What a bad combination huh? believe me, it is. I've also made note that I have the woarst acne in my high school. Its a big high school too). Luck hasn't been on my dads side as well, he feel from a 24ft pole while working and completely messed up his right arm (its now useless...) and the fallowing year he got cancer. As a result he had to do chemo for a year (which i've gathered is horrible). My mom and dad are divorced. My dad married some woman I don't get along with at all... I just call her "my evil step mom". Its a big hassel. Things aren't going so well sad.gif

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3 weeks is nothing, it's an antibiotic.. You need to wait at least 6 weeks to see a little results, but more like 12 weeks to see its potential.. Im done 8 weeks of mino and im just now beginning to see a little difference, even though Im still getting some new spots here and there..

and ya, being pale sucks.. I think if I had a tan my acne wouldn't stick out as much.. every red mark is almost like a red spot on a white canvas cuz my skin is pretty pale and unhealthy looking (although I probably keep it cleaner and take more precautions than people with perfect skin)

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Yup, we've all been there, you know...it's a weird sort of comfort knowing you're not the only one. I can do what i gotta do and be semi fine for weeks, then BAM! One bad breakout and a new batch of horrible bright red scars makes me want to curl up and die already. One glimpse of that Paris Hilton chick on TV and I want to slash my throat in envy.

BUT, after you've cried yourself out, and you're at that quiet numb stage, you heave a big sigh, brush yourself off and get up to continue your battle. Never stop trying. Don't expect to look like a model, but strive for your own improvements.

The rest of the world isn't perfect, really...look at people next time, REALLY look at them, and you'll see big noses, some extra poundage, wierd shaped teeth, slightly crooked lip lines, pigeon chest, whatever...for some reason these people don't let it obsess their lives....somehow we got to rise above it and flaunt it just like the rest of them. My sister and I are both equals in the scar and acne battle...yet she's got loads of sex appeal and self esteem...and the world is convinced! I firmly believe that you got to believe in yourself, or nobody else will, and the same goes for your physical appeal.

I went to a therapist a handful of times after my breakup with my fiance of 8 years...and wouldn't you know it, it all reverted back to my esteem about my appearance! She gave me some esteem self-help exercises and I find I'm very alert to how I treat myself...I don't call myself down, I TAKE compliments with a thank you and not shrug them off, and on days when I'm feeling ugly, I FAKE confidence and it actually rubs off on me by the end of the day. Just knowing that I'm still trying to do something about my face makes me feel more in control and not so helpless. smile.gif I hope you find things you feel superior at, and keep trying different things to improve your scarring. I saved 10 grand these last 2 years JUST for trying scar removal procedures, for at 34, I'm thru pissing around ! lol

Good luck to ya, and believe that yes, you are a pretty nice looking person...and not that different from the rest of the world (can you tell you caught me in one of my more optimistic days? hee hee)

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Hi all,

I'm having an especially bad day today. Been on ortho tricyclen for 3 weeks...nothing. i have a major cyst on my cheek and i'm left side is completely scarred. i feel like a disfigured monster. i tried, dianette which worked but i went off it because i was afraid of the sideeffect, i went on alesse which made my skin worse, i am on otc..we'll see...was on minocyline which is garbabe. never take antibiotics!! you'll get bacterial resistance!!! and.....besides taking accutane....which i'm terrified to do...i'm done....

i'm ugly. and that's all there is to it. i'll never be beautiful again. i hate my face. and.....i'm starting to hate the world and realize there is no point to anything.

i went to my cousin's wedding shower. she's happy, 100 pounds, clear skin...and then there's me....awful skin, unhappy...etc etc....

when did i break the mirror and get this bad luck? not to mention i don't know what to do with my career and my dad has been in the hospital for 2 years. when the fuck does it all get better?

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mercer, im presuming that photograph beside your name is really you...? Anyway just have to say that you are IMMENSELY pretty. Just so beautiful. (excuse the bad spelling).

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Mercer u look great! maybe its the avators small size of something, but I got one of me and my skin looks almost perfect! least u got the courage to put yours up, kinda embarrasing if someone knows me and sees it!

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Hold the presses....all is not what it seems.

Ortho Tri Cyclen (birth control pill which I am also on) takes about 3 MONTHS ( Three Months) before it starts offering you signs of acne reduction. It does work. I have taken it in the past, went off it for about 18 months, and am just now restarting and am ending my 3rd month of it. It DOES work if your acne is hormonally triggered. 3 weeks is NOTHING. Don't give up on it.

Accutane? Hold on to that idea until you've really stuck with this next idea.....that isn't a drug to take lightly, no matter what others might say on this board.

While doing the Ortho Tri Cyclen, tests were done on women who had been on the drug for 5 or 6 months. The study showed a reduction in acne by (typically) 50-80%. That's good, in fact, I think that's GREAT. The Ortho reduces the production of sebum. It is part of the key to fighting acne.

What you also need though, is a good cleansing/treatment plan to take you the rest of the way. When you start the cleansing plan of your choice, STICK WITH IT faithfully for 8 weeks before you say "it isn't working". It takes time to kill of this stuff. But after you do it, maintenance is so much easier than this battle you're fighting now. REALLY. I'm doing it!! I'm on week 9 of my regimen, and it is so fantastic to see myself under here. I was moderate on face, back and chest and sometimes got the things on my neck and shoulders. Believe me, I was DEPRESSED. But I'm doing it. YOU can do it. Try Dan's regimen, or Bochla's, or mine, but try one and stick with it for 8 weeks PLUS your Ortho. You'll do it. IF not 100%, then you'll get 80-90% clear..and that's huge!

Lastly, you're looking at your acne and judging your looks. Unfair. I did that too. But once it starts getting controlled, you'l start saying, "you know, I"m not bad looking under here!" I know you will.

PLEASE Do NOT Give UP!!! You want to PM me and I'll talk with you. I've felt that same depression and shame over it. YOU CAN DO IT! If you want me to post my cleansing regimen here, just ask and I'll paste it here.

Hugs,

-Better Days

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Yeah... I was embarrassed for a while too. I've been here two years though and pretty much everyone I hang out with know's I come on here. biggrin.gif You should just put yours up in the member gallery in the lounge.

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well it's there as my avator, I don't look too happy in te pic but my skin looks good aside from the little bit of sunburn haha (his was a day before a bad breakout) I'll post more when I get this under control...

can't get into the lounge... im only 15 sad.gif

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well it's there as my avator, I don't look too happy in te pic but my skin looks good aside from the little bit of sunburn haha (his was a day before a bad breakout) I'll post more when I get this under control...

can't get into the lounge... im only 15 sad.gif

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i WAS the ugliest man alive up until around now.....after almost 4 months of being MR.HYDE, puzzle lips, skin that looked like it was BUBBLING acne, extreme dry skin on hands and forearms, cuts and bruises all over arms, cysts so huge i thought i was growing new facial features (eyes,nose).......BUT NOW....i am jus ugly......but its gettin better.....i tanned so much i looked like i switched races....all good tho.....who wants to be pale anyways.....too bad nuthin else tanned tho...jus ma face....the rest of ma body still looks like casper....good luck my beautiful ugly frends!

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Hi all,

I'm having an especially bad day today. Been on ortho tricyclen for 3 weeks...nothing. i have a major cyst on my cheek and i'm left side is completely scarred. i feel like a disfigured monster. i tried, dianette which worked but i went off it because i was afraid of the sideeffect, i went on alesse which made my skin worse, i am on otc..we'll see...was on minocyline which is garbabe. never take antibiotics!! you'll get bacterial resistance!!! and.....besides taking accutane....which i'm terrified to do...i'm done....

i'm ugly. and that's all there is to it. i'll never be beautiful again. i hate my face. and.....i'm starting to hate the world and realize there is no point to anything.

i went to my cousin's wedding shower. she's happy, 100 pounds, clear skin...and then there's me....awful skin, unhappy...etc etc....

when did i break the mirror and get this bad luck? not to mention i don't know what to do with my career and my dad has been in the hospital for 2 years. when the fuck does it all get better?

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