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Back acne scars have ruined my life

Ok, I'm just frustrated and looking for people who know what it's like.

I'm a guy, 23, and had terrible back acne for the last few years. It stopped about a year ago but left horrible scars. I haven't taken my shirt in front of basically anyone for the last four years. I haven't dated really since high school. It's just too embarrassing. It sucks because with a shirt on I look completely normal. All my friends are normal. They all have or have had cute girlfriends. I'm at that age where that kind of stuff is important, so it just sucks because I know I'm missing out.

The worst part happened last summer. There was this girl I met in college who I basically fell in love with just by hanging out with her. I liked her for months and months and always "tried" to flirt with her whenever I saw her. She was a friend of a friend. Anyways I found out from one of her friends that she liked me. We starting hanging out a bit and trying to date. I was really happy about all that. When things got more serious I basically refused to take off my shirt off around her. It was so weird for her, she didn't get why I was so shy. I was just too self-conscious. Eventually she just didn't care anymore to see me, and it sucked.

I just picture how things would have been if I didn't have these scars. I'd be so normal, have normal relationships, the kind of stuff everyone wants.

I guess the bright side is I have no scars on my face. I don't feel self-conscious at a bar or just hanging out with friends. But in a way it's like I'm living a lie. No one knows how depressing it is. My friends even comment all the time how they've never seen me without a shirt on. I just kind of joke around when they bring it up.

Now that I'm out of college I look back on how it affected me. The only relationships I had with girls were when I could drink enough so that I didn't care about my scars. It was all very pathetic. It's all I was willing to do though.

Anyways maybe I'm just venting. It's just depressing how this stuff effects your life. And no one knows, not friends or family. And there's nothing really to do to fix it, I've seen lots of doctors.

Can anyone relate? Anyone around my age who knows what it's like to deal with scars? I'm not looking for advice on how to deal with it, I just want to know I'm not the only one who goes through this stuff.

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Yes, I'm 20 soon 21 and I definitely know how it's like. I've had bad chest and shoulder/upperback acne for 3 years or somethin and it's been a pain. I'm mostly left with the scars, but it's just terrible to know it will never be the same you know. I think the the thing you have to realise is that it will never be the same and at one point just say fuck it. One of my friends had severe upper body acne, but he didn't give a shit and took his shirt of in public. People didn't react because he was so self confident about it.

I'm hoping some of the scars and red marks will somewhat fade before the summer, but I know it's just a foolish dream I've had for the last couple of years before summer time. I've done some insane things to keep my shirt on at all times in front of people.

Post a pic of your acne so we can see how bad it really is. Often times people think it's a lot worse than it actually is.

Edited by White Fox

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im right there, im a 22 year old guy, and only one friend has seen me without my shirt in the last 6 years or so, and thats only because he insisted i show hime what bugs me so much, and i felt so ashmaed i cried when i showed him my scarred back. I refuse to go to the beach with my friends, or join teams at school, dont even look in the mirror anymore. At least your face is clear of scars....

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I have issues with it too even though I'm a girl and thus don't whip my shirt off in public as much lol! But it is annoying when trying to wear tank tops, swimsuits, dresses, or v-necks (if you have chest acne). I seriously don't think I've worn a tank top as an outfit for years. I also hardly ever get to dress up even if my face is looking decent. Because of this I've only been to two school dances, never prom, and left early during the second one. Anyway it's worse in college because its harder to treat and I just hate that I can never look nice or go swimming without feeling like an idiot.

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Yes. Like you I can't even flirt with women without being wasted... I get the same "living a lie" feeling that you get

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I have some acne scarring from my teenage years (Accutane finally cured chest/back acne to a large extent and now the regimen helps keep everything in check) and I have to say that, as I started dating my now-husband, he was completely oblivious to any scarring. So, ladies, don't feel bad about some minor blemish scars, because that's NOT what guys are looking at. Also, guys: my husband has psoriasis, which leaves some areas of not-so-smooth skin, but that's also NOT what I'm focused on. I know it's hard to believe, but people don't see your acne/scars as much as they see YOU, your personality. Plus, hasn't anyone ever heard that scars are sexy? :D

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DavidWong, some folks do get acne on the face as well as the back, but the back scarred. Or the opposite, the face scarred and not the back. Or both scarred. Or neither.

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Listen, Im a 22 yr old girl and I can say that back scars are not a turn off and can be seen as sexy. As long as its not active acne on the back, most girls wont care. That girl left because you look so normal but probably lack confidence, and that is very unattractive in man. She probably thought you werent into her. I dont want to sound old fashioned, but I am, and we want men who who are able to protect us and stuff. Lack of confidence doesnt makes us believe you can, so we become uninterested.

And not to be too graphic lol, but err ummm, we dont really see your back alot in "intimate" situtations since your probably most likely on top anyway lol. A girl that doesnt like you for it is an idiot and too superficial anyway. So take it off with CONFIDENCE next time, even if you really dont have it. You will attract the girl who deserves you.

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Hey there. Yes I know how all of you feel. Not only do i already have alot of scars, but i have alot of live acne on my back as well. I havent shown my back either in years, I'm actually going to post some pics, i really need some opinions. And before you say eww at the hair on top of my back(guys you know what i mean), look at the acne and tell me why hair should be an issue//..

post-127914-1272348640_thumb.jpg

post-127914-1272348640_thumb.jpg

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Hey there. Yes I know how all of you feel. Not only do i already have alot of scars, but i have alot of live acne on my back as well. I havent shown my back either in years, I'm actually going to post some pics, i really need some opinions. And before you say eww at the hair on top of my back(guys you know what i mean), look at the acne and tell me why hair should be an issue//..

It really doesn't look that bad, I can't see any indented scarring at all, once the active acne clears it would be hardly noticeable.

Edited by BrokenJohn

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Call me crazy but...

1) Your acne problem is over.

2) Girls are sensitive, and may appreciate your back acne scars as a monument to your achievement of overcoming a major impediment in your life.

3) Girls are often insecure about their bodies, even if they're smoking hot, and they can sympathize with you.

4) Get off to a good start with them, like getting to know them and flirting with them. It seems like you're good at this. After that, they like you. They don't care about bodies like we guys do, so don't worry about it.

Easier said than done perhaps.

If you're still lacking confidence, maybe try dating a girl you don't reeeaaaaaalllllllyyyy care for, then eventually show her your scars, and see how little she cares. She may even think it's cute you worry about it; I'm serious, girls can be weird like that. Then, move on to the "big game," or the girls that you are seriously interested in.

Good luck.

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It's all about perspective.

I have scars left on my face (for the whole world to see) but I use it to my advantage.

Instead of beating myself up about it, i think.... "I'm a man, and real men look rough".

Try it!

Next time you get talking to a girl, mention your scars to her!

Men are supposed to look rough!

Men with perfect skin are pussies!

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My back has been clear from active zits go for about 2 years, but the 10+ years that i did suffer with it i have left me with so much scarring i actually look like a serious burn victim. I'm not even trying to be flippant or disrespectful; it really does look like the skin on my back has been scolded with a naked flame. I have pale patches of discoloration where the worst breakout was, hundreds of tiny little white bumps on the surface of the skin, and deep, deep pitted scars.

It you're currently experiencing the early stages of bacne; i urge you to attempt to tackle the problem before it gets out of hand - because when it takes a hold, it is absolutely relentless in its malevolence.

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Hey there. Yes I know how all of you feel. Not only do i already have alot of scars, but i have alot of live acne on my back as well. I havent shown my back either in years, I'm actually going to post some pics, i really need some opinions. And before you say eww at the hair on top of my back(guys you know what i mean), look at the acne and tell me why hair should be an issue//..

honestly, that really isn't that bad. before accutane, mine was significantly worse.

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I have back acne and chest acne for like 6 years now . Im 22 btw. Two years ago i started bodybuilding and i dont mean like just working out but it seriously became a part of my life and i grew some decent muscle since then. Now i dont have that much acne on my back chest left but there is some and also some red marks, but my confidence to take the shirt off is high because i have a nice body and its the first thing ppl notice, not acne. So i guess its one of the ways to deal with bacne.

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I've told a guy I was self conscious about my back and showed him. He said "shut up it'll go away." SERIOUS. It can really be that easy. Just be up front...and say it! Your human...and if shes a bitch about it or whatever she ain't worth it! People see me and don't think I have acne problem. I have deep ones on my chin that hurt, and very oily skin. I am open about my skin, and want as much feedback as I can, and since I have been doing that I have felt better. Because most people wouldn't even dream of talking about their skin issues, its personal, but it gives me strength for some reason to be open about what I struggle with, there's a sense of letting the listener struggle along with me that helps, like I am not alone, and people do understand.

Another time I was in bed with my ex and he knew that I self conscious, and he was always so considerate. He didn't have any spots on him. I had asked him why he decided to date the girl with the bad skin, and said "your skin was not even on my m ind when I met you." " I was allured by your voice and the way you spoke." Amazing guy, it was love, and there's nothing stronger. He never thought anything much about my skin, until I started getting paranoid about it. Maybe that's why he left?? ha :( But we're still friends to this day.

There should be an Acne Camp. That would be awesome.

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Can def relate. Had the same problem during my college yrs and passed up a lot of opportunities with women due to being self conscious about it. Sucks to not be comfortable going to beach or pool without thinking about it. I would pretty much wear a t shirt till the last minute then jump into the pool before anyone could see my back. I even used to be afraid to play pick up basketball games for fear some idiot would want to play shirts& skins. Lol. I'm in my 30s now & married and my wife knows I'm still conscious about it but it doesn't bother her. I'm a doctor and trust me I've looked into every possible medical solution and there aren't any. It will get less noticeable when u have no active inflammation. Doxycylcine is a fairly benign solution to keeping redness away. If u tend to have more dark scars try a skin bleach like hydroquinone on a section of ur back for a few weeks and see if u notice a change. I do agree with what someone else said. The best way to regain ur confidence is to work out and get ripped and women will not be paying attention to ur back scars

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I can't relate to the back acne situation as it's never been a problem for me. In fact, if my face was like the rest of my body, I'd have never had a single pimple!

I'd imagine that the difference with acne in an area that is usually covered up is that it's all about timing. I mean, if I have acne on my face, people see it straight away and they make snap decisions on it there and then. I don't have to dwell on if/when people might find out about it.

Whereas you could meet a girl or whatever and your back acne might be on your mind because you know that at some point she'll see it. That's going to play or your mind and you'd work yourself into a panic about it. All I could suggest to combat that is to be open about it and get it out of the way early on. Not saying you should introduce yourself to someone by taking your shirt off, but you could bring it up casually in a conversation early one which might be related - about appearances and so on - and then it allows that person to process it and move on from it within seconds, just like they do when processing the fact someone might have acne on their face.

Edited by PaulH85

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According to my boyfriend he had really bad back acne when he was younger and didn't like to take his shirt off because it was so bad, but eventually it went away and yes he has some scarring and he does still get acne on his back...but from my point of view, as his girlfriend...even if he was still covered in acne or had horrible scarring I wouldn't care even a tiny little bit.

You've just got to find a girl that is not a superficial douche lol. Not all girls will run and hide if they see your back, I assure you....but if you never get enough self confidence to get more than a little close to a girl you wont ever be able to find out if she is someone that is going to accept you for all your flaws :angel:

but I understand it isnt that easy...I don't really have back acne...I mean generally I have afew pimples here and there scattered on my back (it's mainly on my stupid face that the acne likes to be :doubt: ) but to me it is sort of like....out of sight out of mind. My boyfriend will pop and BP the ones on my back for me and thats the end of it....he doesn't freak out and go "ewwww you have a pimple" lol.

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My husband has active - angry acne on his back. And scars on his face. I couldn't care less! He is a laid-back, well balanced person with a great sense of humour and a successful career. He never mentions his spots/scars and they don't seem to bother him (I have been with him for 13 years). I met him when my skin was perfect, by the way. Please don't let marks that no one can see for most of the time govern your life. Strangely, girls can be very hard on themselves about their looks, but if a man has charisma or a sense of humour then that is what will attract them.

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I feel exactly the same, I have had these scars for about 2 years, and ever since I haven't been able to go to the beach or go on dates, it's truly awful, I do feel like I am living a lie as well because when its the summer time and i want to wear a dress or a shirt I can't because of my back... I have tried almost everything and nothing seems to get rid of these things...

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Feel better, I'm worse off than you!

I have seemingly-impossible-to-treat acne scars all over my back and chest and shoulders.

The ones on my back and flat red marks, but the ones on my chest and shoulders are disgusting red, raised scars called keloid scars. For these scars I've had what has to be at least 10 treatments of steroid injections along with 5 or 6 sessions of laser treatment. All this has done is flatten them a little! No change in the redness! Complete fucking bullshit!

But to top it all off, I'm something fucked up like 5'6". Fuck that! At least you've talked to a girl, I don't even have the confidence to have them even look at me. No amount of alcohol can make me feel any better or different.

So as horrible as your situation is, and let's be serious, it is, mine is 100x times worse! So PLEASE feel better.

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I just wanna say that sex has absolutely nothing to do with this situation. I know the original poster may not ever read this, but I feel the same way. Otherwise I know I am a great looking girl, I ve just had to hide scars from exhusband and current boyfriend for 15 years. Its tough, but you somehow learn to be extremely sneaky when you are afraid of what someone will think. But there are people out there dealing iwth this just as poorly and just os often, they are just afraid to admit it. I just went to the pool again, and its so frustrating and sad to see everyone walk around in their bathing suits like its nothing and Im doing whatever I can to still "look good" and hide at the same time. Horrible way to live life.

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