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Hey guys I am a 20 year old male. My name is Derek. I Am here to vent I guess and tell my story.

I started getting mild break outs in 9th grade. It was nothing crazy early in 9th grade, but I did start using Pro active and other skin treatments. I guess that helped a little when my skin wasn't horrible, like 4-6 breakouts a time. This is before Acne took over and damaged my life. As the years passed to 10th grade and 11th grade it progressively starting getting worse. I made trips to the dermatologist( Fuck them) which helped little, using stuff like Benzaclin and Retin-A and some pills , can't recall the names. Day by day my confidence, aura and self-esteem got worse and worse, dreading to leave my house to go to school and do daily things and really enjoying getting home and the night time freedom to sit in my room and to be isolated from people due to the terrible anxiety and insecurity while being around them. Sure I would have my good days where I would feel great but the ratio from Bad to good being 14:1 for a ballpark number. So enough was enough, I had tried almost everything the piece of shit derms had given me.

On my birthday I vividly remember having an appointment to get on Accutane. The process makes you schedule the appt with your derm, you fill out some paper work and have to wait 30 or 31 days to go back and than get your prescription. I finally thought this Acne nightmare was going to be over within the 5-7 month Accutane period. I was pretty psyched and thought my life would finally stop being so depressing and unhappy. A few months into the treatment my skin started to clear up, I wasn't breaking out with the usual 100 zits and cysts on my face, it started to go down. I now only had 30 or 40 zits on my face. Month 4 it got lower, month 5 so on and month 6 I was barely breaking out at all. Month 7 , I was done with Accutane and just about done with High School this was June 07. I wasn't breaking out anymore like I once was, but my skin still looked like shit.

Patchy, Scars, Red marks, etc etc etc. My complexion was still awful. And this is how my skin still is 3 years later, of course it has gotten better, but I am still very unhappy with my life and the damage the Acne has caused. Since High School I have not accomplished anything with my life. I have enrolled to a community college twice and have ended up dropping out both times weeks into the school term. This is not because I am lazy, or because I am stupid, It is because I can't function living like this.

I am now 20 and Since getting off Tane I try everything possible to help better my skin. Use Dove soap daily morning and night, Glycolic peels I have ordered through amazon, masks, Microderms( WOW these fucking work amazing but I really cant afford 300$/month) Moisturizer everynight, olive oil. You fucking name it , every remedy in the book. Nothing will consistently work for me, I suppose the Microderms monthly would be a God Send, but right now since I am unemployed and my parents are failing in this horrible economy this is not realistic. I have also recently started jogging 2 to 3 times a week and really sweating and have also tried to bettter my diet dramatically. The one thing I still need to do though is really cut out my Caffeine fiending. I looooveeeee Coffee. Also problaly cut out my one pack a day cigarette habit, I do not smoke weed or do drugs drink very rarely. I occasionally pop some pills Roxies, vics but nothing serious, very recreationally. (sorry if this is not allowed on the forum)

I have really good week(s)/Day(s) where my skin looks great i.e no breakouts, smooth, scars not as vibrant, Face literally glowing, but than suddenly right back into the shitter. On the good days I feel great, swaggggger out the window (lol) ready to work, go out in the world and be normal, see friends, socialize, maybe go back to school again for the 3rd time, But how Can I do this and hold a steady job when inevitably my bad day(s)/week(s) will come again? I am not able to function on these bad days which seem to outnumber the good ones, I sit and zone out not leaving my room, wanting to sleep, to be left alone and do nothing. As sad as an Elliott Smith or Joy Division song. I really do not know what to do anymore.

Well guys there my story as best I could write it ( not much of a writer, sorry if you read the whole thing and I bored the fuck out of you). And today here I am another shitty gloom and doom day. Your not alone guys.

-Derek

Edited by derek d

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Hey guys I am a 20 year old male. My name is Derek. I Am here to vent I guess and tell my story.

I started getting mild break outs in 9th grade. It was nothing crazy early in 9th grade, but I did start using Pro active and other skin treatments. I guess that helped a little when my skin wasn't horrible, like 4-6 breakouts a time. This is before Acne took over and damaged my life. As the years passed to 10th grade and 11th grade it progressively starting getting worse. I made trips to the dermatologist( Fuck them) which helped little, using stuff like Benzaclin and Retin-A and some pills , can't recall the names. Day by day my confidence, aura and self-esteem got worse and worse, dreading to leave my house to go to school and do daily things and really enjoying getting home and the night time freedom to sit in my room and to be isolated from people due to the terrible anxiety and insecurity while being around them. Sure I would have my good days where I would feel great but the ratio from Bad to good being 14:1 for a ballpark number. So enough was enough, I had tried almost everything the piece of shit derms had given me.

On my birthday I vividly remember having an appointment to get on Accutane. The process makes you schedule the appt with your derm, you fill out some paper work and have to wait 30 or 31 days to go back and than get your prescription. I finally thought this Acne nightmare was going to be over within the 5-7 month Accutane period. I was pretty psyched and thought my life would finally stop being so depressing and unhappy. A few months into the treatment my skin started to clear up, I wasn't breaking out with the usual 100 zits and cysts on my face, it started to go down. I now only had 30 or 40 zits on my face. Month 4 it got lower, month 5 so on and month 6 I was barely breaking out at all. Month 7 , I was done with Accutane and just about done with High School this was June 07. I wasn't breaking out anymore like I once was, but my skin still looked like shit.

Patchy, Scars, Red marks, etc etc etc. My complexion was still awful. And this is how my skin still is 3 years later, of course it has gotten better, but I am still very unhappy with my life and the damage the Acne has caused. Since High School I have not accomplished anything with my life. I have enrolled to a community college twice and have ended up dropping out both times weeks into the school term. This is not because I am lazy, or because I am stupid, It is because I can't function living like this.

I am now 20 and Since getting off Tane I try everything possible to help better my skin. Use Dove soap daily morning and night, Glycolic peels I have ordered through amazon, masks, Microderms( WOW these fucking work amazing but I really cant afford 300$/month) Moisturizer everynight, olive oil. You fucking name it , every remedy in the book. Nothing will consistently work for me, I suppose the Microderms monthly would be a God Send, but right now since I am unemployed and my parents are failing in this horrible economy this is not realistic. I have also recently started jogging 2 to 3 times a week and really sweating and have also tried to bettter my diet dramatically. The one thing I still need to do though is really cut out my Caffeine fiending. I looooveeeee Coffee. Also problaly cut out my one pack a day cigarette habit, I do not smoke weed or do drugs drink very rarely. I occasionally pop some pills Roxies, vics but nothing serious, very recreationally. (sorry if this is not allowed on the forum)

I have really good week(s)/Day(s) where my skin looks great i.e no breakouts, smooth, scars not as vibrant, Face literally glowing, but than suddenly right back into the shitter. On the good days I feel great, swaggggger out the window (lol) ready to work, go out in the world and be normal, see friends, socialize, maybe go back to school again for the 3rd time, But how Can I do this and hold a steady job when inevitably my bad day(s)/week(s) will come again? I am not able to function on these bad days which seem to outnumber the good ones, I sit and zone out not leaving my room, wanting to sleep, to be left alone and do nothing. As sad as an Elliott Smith or Joy Division song. I really do not know what to do anymore.

Well guys there my story as best I could write it ( not much of a writer, sorry if you read the whole thing and I bored the fuck out of you). And today here I am another shitty gloom and doom day. Your not alone guys.

-Derek

Hi Derek! I know exactly where you are coming from! I hate this shit too! It's so frustrating! I hate doing things. I just go to work and come home. My bf and I hang out at home. I always just feel like staying in and watching a movie it sucks. I have tried everything. Proactive sucks! Deep Sea sucks! Spending way too much money on things that don't work. I recently went to the dermatologist so I dunno if what they gave me is working just yet. But I recently read where egg whites help. I think I'll be trying that tomorrow night. Have you tried it yet?

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Bro I think your depressed and need to start trying to fix that.

Are you still breaking out or no? If not I dunno how your skin can go from good to bad and fluctuate.

But man your young enjoy life alittle bit.. Enjoy the freedom of not having to put up with this school bullshit.

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you are not alone in feeling the way that you do. I have been dragging myself through lot of my life that way and am stuggling real bad at the moment. I saw a psych who told me I have Body do dysmporphic disorder but I dont know if I buy it. Just know you arent the only one. PM me if you ever want to talk.

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Sorry that this has nothing to do with the OP, but after reading another thread about BDD, I looked into it aloot and I'm pretty sure I have it. It took me days to build up the courage to email my mom the link explaining all about BDD and after she read it she said "I don't think you have this" and I go "well I have all the symptoms" and she goes "I have all the symptoms of alot of things". Needless to say I'm super hurt and pissed. She just sees me as a lazy kid who doesn't ever want to get a job, not as a person who's mentally incapable of doing so.

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