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Today i have totally gone nuts when i saw another horrible breakout in the mirror (wich i look at not more once a month). When i saw all the left scars and all that sh_t that started appearing , i just couldn't help it and gone mad... i broke every single icon crap , you know where god and so on are painted and its holy and crap. I used to believe in god , i am a bad person rarely but there are alot more bad persons out there that live out an awesome life.

I have a face like crap , i don't watch in the mirror ever , when i have to shave i do it blindly.

I seriously can't understand what kind of a person i was in past life or what did that god do to me AND WHY!!! WHY!!!!

I have a really ugly fucked up face and body because of this acne crap , i was skinny all my life , started working out and as i found out through-out the time i have very bad genetics and gained in a year what many people gain in 2-3 months... i have a developing of gynecomastia , probably because of hormonal imballance but i can't even tell about this to my parents. It's embaressing just to think about it... i never had any luck in this life nor i was treated right and never had psycological support , everyone left me on my own with all this crap... i'm in deep horrrible depressions and 0 self-confidence and esteem. I don't watch in people's eyes when i talk and i am anti-social. I never had a girlfriend and i stopped talking to girls 4 years now.

This year my chemistry teacher at collage felt for me , she is 20 and i am 17... i've seen it , i've understood it , i liked her very much also but i just couldn't even talk to her about this because i know what she sees and who i am and what i am. I noticed she was looking for a guy that has confidence and is full of joy. It's all gone now... i still sit at nights and think why have i been born in this world... maybe i have a destination as i should have been dead when i was born and i shouldn't have been living. That's the only thing that keeps me going.

But i'm not far from the decision... i'm about to cut it all , i don't want to live anymore , i see no joy... only loss and discourage everytime i fail at something again and again. When i'm up in the sky , i'll just ask god WHY.... WHY. (if there is such a thing as GOD)

Edited by TheAcneSufferer

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Please please dont give into your depression. Depression is a side-effect of Acne but it should not be a reason for you to give up on life. I understand that it must be hard to speak to your parents about it and truly, it is hard for anyone to understand unless they themselves go through it. I really hope you are able to open up to them about it because they may be able to help. Acne is a horrible thing that happens to anyone and everyone and you are not alone so dont feel like a higher being is punishing you. You have to rise above this, obvioulsy feeling sad, being anti-social, not talking to a parent or friend hasnt worked so why not try the exact opposite, talk to people, some may help some may not but eventually if you grab control of your life you should be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel..have you been a skin regimen? Are you doing dans? Its okay to get occassional breakouts, fill us in on what you have been doing, i really hope you are able to embrace this community and believe us when we say we are all on the same boat. There is a reason you were born, maybe its to teach people how to overcome overwhelming situations. Dont let this defeat you, do the best you can and the rest will fall into place! I wish you the best and if you ever need advise you can always talk to us! Stay up! Positivity breeds positivity so maybe start there. :)

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Thank you... i really was not in the mood to talk , because i myself am a positive person and allways try to look at life from a good angle. But when i see all these bad sides i just can't help it.

My mother actualy took me to a derm. but as i and she understood , it's all about the money for him. He knew perfectly well what was wrong with me but kept sucking my money. The problem that i have is what most people suffering with acne experience too , is hormonal imballance... i don't have the money , the guts and even the wish to go test and normalize my hormones. I have been ofcourse on anti-biotics , alot of pills and stuff but the result is.... you know it , i guess i wouldn't be here.

I am constantly surrounded by persons having this perfect life... people like my brother. I love him really much , he is a good brother , he never had acne and has a very good phisique (in wich i tried and can't catch up , nor even let's say get 1/3 of his). My mother , my father , my past friends (wich i envy like hell , but they are all good people) and it gets me even more depressed when i hear them say it's not that bad...

Today was one of the worst days of all my life because i never saw my face like this... so im here , guess looking for what i never had , a little support. And thank you for offering it friend.

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I know exactly what you mean about seeing your face in a certain angle, a certain light, and then thinking "it will never get better, it looks beyond repair" and in my last 3 weeks on Dans regimen i have felt like that, like its not gettin better, and then the day passes, maybe 2 days and then i see myself again and think it is getting better. I havent had much experience with derms but have taken some anti-biotics that only made things worse, now i am on Dans regimen, and it is helping my acne SOOOO much. At first it was hard because it felt like i wasnt making any progress but now i start to see that slowly but surely my face is getting used to it so in time i will heal. I suggest looking into Dans Regimen since its very inexpensive and the community here is very helpful. Stay positive and if you feel sad try and focus on the positive things. No matter what you do in life, no matter how great your accomplishments there will always be someone near you with "even better accomplishments". Try not to compare yourself to anyone because you will never win, instead focus on the things that make you special in this world. You can do whatever it is you want to do, dont focus so much on your acne for your happiness, try and turn the negative feelings with positive ones whenever you feel them creep in. :)

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