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Rasine

Diary of a Compulsive Skin Picker

I've just started the Chill Out program, and I've decided to record my progress.

Today is Day 1 of my attempt.

A little background: I use tweezers and my own two hands to successfully mar my face beyond recognition every single day. Usually a pimple will be tiny and I'll squeeze it so hard that it becomes an angry, pus-filled, enormous zit overnight. So, I've decided to stop picking at myself.

After all, 75% of the blemishes on my face are from moi.

I already pulled off a scab this morning. :wall: Ugh! It's like I can't control my own hands! On the bright side, I saw a new little pimple and I just put some Burt Bee's Herbal Blemish Stick on it and left it alone. I felt very accomplished!

Anyways, let's see how it goes. I know it'll be hard, especially at first, and I'm going to slip up.

I put together a motivation playlist on my iPod and got rid of my beloved/abhorred tweezers.

And so it begins!

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Day two.

I haven't picked much, but I'll admit I picked a little. It's really hard!

I'm going out today, so that will keep me from picking at my face.

Wish me luck!

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Today was Day 4 of my attempt.

It didn't go so well.

I have a huge paper due tomorrow. It's a huge part of my grade. I don't understand the material for the class, and I was really freaked out that I'd written it all wrong. I was pretty much done by this afternoon, but I stressed over making it perfect. Then I had problems with my printer and got really frustrated. To top it off, my mom and I were at each other's throats all afternoon.

Stress + worry + anger + frustration + mirror = picking.

I squeezed a lot of stuff on my face. And I am so ashamed of myself. But, I'm following the Chill Out program, and it says to be a forgiving friend to yourself. So, I gave myself a honey and lavender facial, listened to some meditation music, and calmed down. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I expected to easily stop my picking. It's alright though, tomorrow is a new day. I'll pick right up where I left off. No use crying over spilt milk, eh?

I'll report back tomorrow. I like doing this. It's... therapeutic.

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Just try avoiding mirrors, I know it's easier said than done, but it worked well for me

Thanks for the advice. I agree, it does work well, but it's hard when you're home a lot and don't have a car, ha ha!

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by picking the scabs, it leaves holes on the face rite..I used to pick when i was 15 and i got these wierd looking holes ( like a cut), but within one year they filled in on their own..But when i picked again (accidently) when i was 17, they never filled in..Now im 22...What could be the reason? any idea?

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Just try avoiding mirrors, I know it's easier said than done, but it worked well for me

Thanks for the advice. I agree, it does work well, but it's hard when you're home a lot and don't have a car, ha ha!

Yeah I hear ya. If it helps, I don't have a car either, when I mean I don't look in the mirror, I really don't lol

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by picking the scabs, it leaves holes on the face rite..I used to pick when i was 15 and i got these wierd looking holes ( like a cut), but within one year they filled in on their own..But when i picked again (accidently) when i was 17, they never filled in..Now im 22...What could be the reason? any idea?

Well, when you picked for the first time, it was on new, untouched, healthy skin. Maybe when you picked a pimple that had grown on the scar tissue, it was harder for it to regenerate? That's just a guess. Otherwise, I don't know. What do you mean by "accidentally" picking? Do you mean unconsciously? Oh, and if the scars bother you, and they're really deep, I've looked up a lot of treatments. This is a great website:

http://www.skincarephysicians.com/acnenet/...acne_scars.html

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Day 5, everybody!

I've been doing pretty well. I still slip up a bit every now and then. However, where as my picking sessions used to last for 30 minutes to a full hour, my slip ups only last about 2-3 minutes and I'm being much gentler with my skin.

I'm weaning myself from picking, ha ha! Hopefully with this progress, I can get my picking time down to 0!

I'll report back within the next few days. My skin looks so, so, so much better! Maybe I'll put up some pictures of my progress within a week or so.

Wish me luck!

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thanx alot for replying..actualy i had to go for an exam,While i was washing, my hand knocked and the scab broke, i was feeling a bit dizzy at that time, and it hurt..well this is not the only hole i have..I do have alot.Like a fool i picked my pimples when i was small.But i lived with them, but after this recent hole which looks realy big,rly made my face look horrible :( Those treatments are very expensive i know my parents cant afford that..Just curious to know isn't there a way i could make them go away NATURALY..maybe by taking vitamins or something..I dont want to live the rest of my life with these..I just cant.. :(

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thanx alot for replying..actualy i had to go for an exam,While i was washing, my hand knocked and the scab broke, i was feeling a bit dizzy at that time, and it hurt..well this is not the only hole i have..I do have alot.Like a fool i picked my pimples when i was small.But i lived with them, but after this recent hole which looks realy big,rly made my face look horrible :( Those treatments are very expensive i know my parents cant afford that..Just curious to know isn't there a way i could make them go away NATURALY..maybe by taking vitamins or something..I dont want to live the rest of my life with these..I just cant.. :(

I know what you mean, they are expensive. Hm, naturally... I know that vitamin E oil is good for reducing the appearance of scars. Make sure to drink lots, and I mean LOTS of water to help your skin heal. Otherwise, I think your best bet would be to go to the dermatologist. They could give you a prescription scar cream to make it go away faster. I'm sorry this happened to you, just know that you're not alone.

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Day... 11, I believe.

Major failure today. I was stressed about school, again, and, lo and behold, I was in front of a mirror and squeezing away.

My skin is pretty much clear, thanks to Doxycycline and Yaz.

But I found blackheads and little oil-filled bumps to squeeze. As of right now my face is a beautiful shade of scarlet. I want to stop. So badly. And I read all of these other logs where people stop right off the bat and do fine. I hope I'm not the only one who is having a really hard time. Oh goodness, that sounds absolutely horrible, doesn't it? I guess I just feel quite horrible and disappointed right now.

Sigh. I guess I'll just have to keep trying tomorrow.

Anyone else having trouble?

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Thanx alot :)..Yeah i'll be going to the Dermatologist this evening..I only hope he doesn't say that its permanent..Hope he gives some cream or something and says that it will go away, i'll be mighty pleased..fingers crossed, hoping for the best!! can't waite.... :D

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Thanx alot :)..Yeah i'll be going to the Dermatologist this evening..I only hope he doesn't say that its permanent..Hope he gives some cream or something and says that it will go away, i'll be mighty pleased..fingers crossed, hoping for the best!! can't waite.... :D

Let me know what he says! I'm sure he'll be able to fix it!

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I went to two doctors..Da 1st said that there are so many treatments such as chemical peels,dermabrasion n etc & dat i can come for a free consultation..My mom totaly disagreed with those coz it removes the top layer of the skin which is not realy good..Then i just asked him whether they are permanent, & he said that its permanent.. :(

Then the 2nd doctor also said that there's nothing she can do to dat uneven skin (tiny dents), she scolded me for picking @ my pimples..My mom wants me to live with them coz there's nothing you can do abt it.. :( I wish i could turn back time..Btw i heard of this cream 'mederma', do u think it will smooth out these dents?

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I went to two doctors..Da 1st said that there are so many treatments such as chemical peels,dermabrasion n etc & dat i can come for a free consultation..My mom totaly disagreed with those coz it removes the top layer of the skin which is not realy good..Then i just asked him whether they are permanent, & he said that its permanent.. :(

Then the 2nd doctor also said that there's nothing she can do to dat uneven skin (tiny dents), she scolded me for picking @ my pimples..My mom wants me to live with them coz there's nothing you can do abt it.. :( I wish i could turn back time..Btw i heard of this cream 'mederma', do u think it will smooth out these dents?

I disagree with your mother and agree with your first doctor. Removing the top layer of skin will allow it to heal more efficiently and replace the mangled scar tissue with healthier tissue. The second doctor is being insensitive, I hate it when they scold patients! As if we don't realize that picking is bad!

Mederma will fade redness. It works well on fading things like stretch marks and flat scars... but it doesn't raise the skin. I would do more research on dermabrasion. I think that would be your best bet. Keep me updated!

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I know someone who did a chemical peel for his minor scars, & since then he has to avoid the sun & he's skin became very very sensitive,upto now he still regrets the fact he did the peel,..My skin is very oily and very sensitive, if i just touch my skin it turns red in no time..Dermabrasion also removes the top layer and i don't think it will be effective on my pitted scars..

currently im taking a multivitamin, i doubt whether it will be any use but just giving a try..I heard vitamin c is good for scar healing & produces collagen & promotes new skin growth..Im just looking for another solution in the mean time..Thank u loadz for your help tho'...Will keep you updated with the latest happenings..

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Today is Day 16.

I finally have great news, I only popped one whitehead today, and I did it properly! :dance:

I also refilled my prescription for Yaz.

Off-topic, I know, but is anyone else on birth control for acne? I'm going into my third month on it, and so far it hasn't done much. I'm also on Doxycycline right now. When I first started the pill I was on antibiotics, but then I went off of them after the first month and my skin totally freaked out. Thus, I got another refill. I've read that it usually takes time for the birth control pill to kick in and start helping, so I'm hoping the end of month three will be when it kicks in. Thoughts?

Edited by Rasine

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Day 17...

I DIDN'T PICK AT ALL TODAY! Not one bit. I'm not even lying. I raised my hand up to my face and thought, "Look at how good your skin is. Do you want to mess this up?"

For anyone wondering, this is my acne regimen:

Morning:

Cetaphil Antibacterial Cleansing Bar for Sensitive Skin

Cetaphil Ultimate Hydrating Lotion

Oil-free, non-comedogenic makeup.

Night:

Cetaphil Antibacterial Cleansing Bar for Sensitive Skin

Cetaphil Ultimate Hydrating Lotion

Spot Treatment:

Proactive Face Mask for five minutes on problem spots, wash off

Neutrogena On-The-Spot Spot Treatment

Vitamins and Prescriptions:

Vitamin C

Vitamin B6

AkneZyme Skin Supplement

Acidophilus

Doxycycline

Yaz Birth Control.

Let's hope I can keep this up!

Edited by Rasine

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Good luck, you seem to be doing very well and should feel proud. I know you will have beautiful skin in no time :)

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Good luck, you seem to be doing very well and should feel proud. I know you will have beautiful skin in no time :)

Thank you, that means a lot! :D

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Day whatever.

Got a lip pimple, picked it, let it scab, ripped the scab off, and I now have a super cute sore on the edge of my lip. Ugh, ugh, ugh!

Only way I'm consoling myself is by knowledge of the fact that lip wounds/cuts heal quickly.

I'll report back with better news next time.

Edited by Rasine

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Day... 37, is it? Wow!

So, I've been really great with not picking, and thanks to Yaz, my skin is almost COMPLETELY CLEAR! :dance: I'm really so excited.

Now my only problem are these ugly red marks left over.

As of right now, I have one little pimple on my cheek and one little pimple on my forehead. It's so great, I can't even describe it.

Hopefully my skin and I can keep up the good work!

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Sigh.

So, it's day something or other. I picked another spot and now have a red crusty scab on my laugh line that cracks when I smile. Ugh!

Hopefully it'll be better in a couple of days. I've been pretty good for the most part!

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Today I tried to squeeze a pimple on my cheek and ended up tearing a hole in it. Otherwise, I've been pretty good. Now I have to let this thing heal... ugh... my face was so good, I hate it when I do this kind of thing!

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