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i want to break up with boyfriend because of my terrible acne

I didn't use to have such bad acne - just a spot or two, and I met a great guy who is now my boyfriend. i think that i love him, that he could be the one, etc etc, but the past few months my acne has just been blowing up, and i don't know why. it makes me so extremely depressed, and i even cry/think about suicide just because of how terrible i look.

because of this, i want to avoid my boyfriend at all costs. i don't want him to see me. he lives a few hours away so this is easy but i know eventually i'll have to see him, but i'd do anything to avoid that. i love him so much but i cant bear to have him see me looking so ugly. no man wants an ugly girlfriend. but i simply cannot go see him looking like i do.

the combination of having acne and knowing it is what is killing my relationship, and that it would be so easy for me to be happy if i did not have acne is just killing me on the inside. i want to be with him SO badly, but it wont work if i have acne. i look so disgusting, and i've tried EVERYTHING. retin-a, metro-gel, benzaclin, various antibiotics, and more that i cant think of right now.

acne is destroying my life.. help

by the way, i am 19.

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Edited by 123456789q

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I totally know how you feel. I'm 21 and have had bad acne for a while (in highschool it was severe). the past two years i had a wonderful girlfriend. The first time i brought up acne to her i texted her "don't hate me..i broke out really bad today" and she was like "lol i don't care about that". That response meant so much to me...if your boyfriend truly loves you he won't care.

Now, this part is important, so read carefully:

If you are feeling this distraught about acne, especially if you have suicidal thoughts, you really need see a licensed clinician. Acne can cause physical depression, and i believe you truly should get help. or at least talk to somebody who is close to you. I almost never even say the word "pimple" or "acne" in public. but when i put away my defenses and talk to people who are close i feel a lot better.

So yea, looks arent everything, you percieve your acne wayyy worse than any body else, and go to a clinician...please

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I totally know how you feel. I'm 21 and have had bad acne for a while (in highschool it was severe). the past two years i had a wonderful girlfriend. The first time i brought up acne to her i texted her "don't hate me..i broke out really bad today" and she was like "lol i don't care about that". That response meant so much to me...if your boyfriend truly loves you he won't care.

Now, this part is important, so read carefully:

If you are feeling this distraught about acne, especially if you have suicidal thoughts, you really need see a licensed clinician. Acne can cause physical depression, and i believe you truly should get help. or at least talk to somebody who is close to you. I almost never even say the word "pimple" or "acne" in public. but when i put away my defenses and talk to people who are close i feel a lot better.

So yea, looks arent everything, you percieve your acne wayyy worse than any body else, and go to a clinician...please

That is awesome maximus that your girl told you that! I had been told that by my ex back at home. I am in the military so i usually come home for a month or so and visit and i always see her. Well the year i started getting this curse i was too embarrased to go home and see her and i told her of my problem. She told me the same thing, that she didnt care about that and that she would break out with me if it made me feel better lol. Thought that was really awesome of her, but i still didnt go home :( I just couldn't do it so i can totally relate to the OP. We hardly talk now and that is the reason because i distanced myself from her more and more even though she told me she didnt care. I cared more about it thou and just could not for the life of me let her see me like this. Because last time she saw me the year prior i was acne free.

As maximus mentioned though, it is very serious if you are having suicidal thoughts and i would advise as well to go see a doctor about it.

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I totally know how you feel. I'm 21 and have had bad acne for a while (in highschool it was severe). the past two years i had a wonderful girlfriend. The first time i brought up acne to her i texted her "don't hate me..i broke out really bad today" and she was like "lol i don't care about that". That response meant so much to me...if your boyfriend truly loves you he won't care.

Now, this part is important, so read carefully:

If you are feeling this distraught about acne, especially if you have suicidal thoughts, you really need see a licensed clinician. Acne can cause physical depression, and i believe you truly should get help. or at least talk to somebody who is close to you. I almost never even say the word "pimple" or "acne" in public. but when i put away my defenses and talk to people who are close i feel a lot better.

So yea, looks arent everything, you percieve your acne wayyy worse than any body else, and go to a clinician...please

That is awesome maximus that your girl told you that! I had been told that by my ex back at home. I am in the military so i usually come home for a month or so and visit and i always see her. Well the year i started getting this curse i was too embarrased to go home and see her and i told her of my problem. She told me the same thing, that she didnt care about that and that she would break out with me if it made me feel better lol. Thought that was really awesome of her, but i still didnt go home :( I just couldn't do it so i can totally relate to the OP. We hardly talk now and that is the reason because i distanced myself from her more and more even though she told me she didnt care. I cared more about it thou and just could not for the life of me let her see me like this. Because last time she saw me the year prior i was acne free.

As maximus mentioned though, it is very serious if you are having suicidal thoughts and i would advise as well to go see a doctor about it.

aw, you guys have such nice girlfriends! i haven't seen my boyfriend at all since my acne started getting bad, and he is wondering why i am distancing myself from him. he thinks it his fault, the poor guy. i wish i could just say, "cause i have bad acne", but i am so afraid. i miss him so much too.

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You must be honest with him about exactly what is going on. If he's in this just for the sex and the good times, then you're better off with out him. Move on. I'd start with taking care of yourself, first. I've been where you are and the NUMBER ONE mistake I made was NOT OPENING MY MOUTH and talking to someone about what is going on. There are help lines, message boards, etc. Talk it out and talk about it until you are sick of talking about it. Suicide is never to be taken lightly and this is not in the least a funny subject...especially if you are seriously thinking about it. Do not take it lightly, my friend.

I agree with a previous reply about seeing a doctor. It's the least you can do for your face. You may even be surprized to learn that Mr. Boyfriend would gladly accompany you on your doctor visits. Whoever that special person is in your life, he should be there by your side no matter what. And I mean every word of it. If he can not to this, then so be it. Let him go and move on. None of this will matter one freaking bit if you do not open your mouth and state, with complete honesty, what is happening to you and how you feel about it. "The One" will go through this WITH you. Believe me. Like I said, I've been there, too. I know. I'm 47 and still get this crap on my face, but I take care of myself and surround myself with people who don't give a flying butt what is on my face. They love me for me.

You sound like an angel and I wish you nothing but peace and love. Good luck!! :dance:

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Dont worry so much! You honestly dont look that bad. Personally, acne on girls is not an issue for me at all. if they have a good personality and attitude then acne doesnt matter. Your bf probably feels the same way. If it totally grossed him out you would be able to tell.

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You must be honest with him about exactly what is going on. If he's in this just for the sex and the good times, then you're better off with out him. Move on. I'd start with taking care of yourself, first. I've been where you are and the NUMBER ONE mistake I made was NOT OPENING MY MOUTH and talking to someone about what is going on. There are help lines, message boards, etc. Talk it out and talk about it until you are sick of talking about it. Suicide is never to be taken lightly and this is not in the least a funny subject...especially if you are seriously thinking about it. Do not take it lightly, my friend.

I agree with a previous reply about seeing a doctor. It's the least you can do for your face. You may even be surprized to learn that Mr. Boyfriend would gladly accompany you on your doctor visits. Whoever that special person is in your life, he should be there by your side no matter what. And I mean every word of it. If he can not to this, then so be it. Let him go and move on. None of this will matter one freaking bit if you do not open your mouth and state, with complete honesty, what is happening to you and how you feel about it. "The One" will go through this WITH you. Believe me. Like I said, I've been there, too. I know. I'm 47 and still get this crap on my face, but I take care of myself and surround myself with people who don't give a flying butt what is on my face. They love me for me.

You sound like an angel and I wish you nothing but peace and love. Good luck!! :dance:

thanks, yeah, you're right in that he should be there for me if he is really "the one". i am going to try to clear my skin first in the next few weeks though before i tell him. (i doubt it will clear though)

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Dont worry so much! You honestly dont look that bad. Personally, acne on girls is not an issue for me at all. if they have a good personality and attitude then acne doesnt matter. Your bf probably feels the same way. If it totally grossed him out you would be able to tell.

thanks! i try not to worry, but it feels like my self worth is totally based on my appearance. i hate it!

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Personally, if I was in that guy's position I would feel puzzled as to why you are distancing yourself from me, because if he displays an interest in you, then he wields feelings for you and wants to be around you in some fashion. It is pretty unfair to him albeit it is your self-conscious, to be treated this way because he would like to know, what is the underlying reason why you are disassociating yourself from him. It is integral you are honest with him, and if you do talk to him about this situation, then he will appreciate it more, instead of consistently evading him. It could happen that next time you see him, he will not one want to hang with you because you have avoided him, and i wouldnt take personally as anything to do with my acne, but after awhile people give up. So I am not saying you should feel guilt-ridden, but it is imperative you say something to him about this, at least give him a fair opportunity to see what his response is, because sooner or later ties will be severed.

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

I 100% agree, I see so many couples walk together, and I can spot something noticeably wrong with one of them and they seem perfect

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

thanks. you're right about the good partner thing! i hope my boyfriend will be a good partner about this...

Edited by 123456789q

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

I 100% agree, I see so many couples walk together, and I can spot something noticeably wrong with one of them and they seem perfect

yeah, my boyfriend has mild acne, and other imperfections like everyone else but i honestly could not care less about them.

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

I 100% agree, I see so many couples walk together, and I can spot something noticeably wrong with one of them and they seem perfect

yeah, my boyfriend has mild acne, and other imperfections like everyone else but i honestly could not care less about them.

Well, see how you feel that way about him, he probably feels the same way about you. I'm going through a rough time myself, so I understand vaguely where you're coming from, but don't give up though.

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

I 100% agree, I see so many couples walk together, and I can spot something noticeably wrong with one of them and they seem perfect

yeah, my boyfriend has mild acne, and other imperfections like everyone else but i honestly could not care less about them.

Well, see how you feel that way about him, he probably feels the same way about you. I'm going through a rough time myself, so I understand vaguely where you're coming from, but don't give up though.

thanks. acne is just the worst. i'd rather have a broken leg or almost anything.

Edited by 123456789q

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

I 100% agree, I see so many couples walk together, and I can spot something noticeably wrong with one of them and they seem perfect

yeah, my boyfriend has mild acne, and other imperfections like everyone else but i honestly could not care less about them.

Well, see how you feel that way about him, he probably feels the same way about you. I'm going through a rough time myself, so I understand vaguely where you're coming from, but don't give up though.

thanks. acne is just the worst. i'd rather have a broken leg or almost anything.

lol dont say that. im sure there are plenty of people that would trade deformed limbs for pimples

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Your acne does not seem too bad to me. A good partner who cares for you really won't see it, they are there for you, not your skin.

I 100% agree, I see so many couples walk together, and I can spot something noticeably wrong with one of them and they seem perfect

yeah, my boyfriend has mild acne, and other imperfections like everyone else but i honestly could not care less about them.

Well, see how you feel that way about him, he probably feels the same way about you. I'm going through a rough time myself, so I understand vaguely where you're coming from, but don't give up though.

thanks. acne is just the worst. i'd rather have a broken leg or almost anything.

lol dont say that. im sure there are plenty of people that would trade deformed limbs for pimples

yeah, i'm sure there are lol

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I'm going to take a different approach...It's called tough love.

Wanting to break up with someone because of your acne (which is not that bad) is plain stupid. DUMB. Not to mention the fact that you think you love him?? How old are you? I'm going to guess 17.

Look, you say you love this guy, right? Actions speak louder than words. You can't say you love someone and then lie to them or want to break up with them over your mild acne. I mean....honesty is everything. You need to be honest with him and tell him whats up. He will only respect you more and his feelings for you will go stronger. Plus you wont have to make up bogus ass excuses anymore of why you cant see him. And if he doesn't except that then F*ck him. Why be with someone that doesn't want to be with you anyway. I'm sure there are other guys out there that would like to be with you. Thats so stupid.

I'm sorry. Really. I apologize. I'm ranting.

I mean no disrespect at all by this post and I'm really so upset by it that I can't even type anymore. It just really, seriously upsets me to hear a girl with mild acne say that she wants to break up with a good guy that she loves because of her mild acne. Especially after reading a post about this guy that has severe cystic acne all over that has never had a girlfriend, never hugged or kissed a girl, or had any type of interaction with them because of his acne. I'm sure he would die to have a face like yours OR at least a girl who was somewhat interested in him. You have someone. You don't know what you got til its gone. Go ahead and break up withhim and see how you feel then. At least you have someone!!

Sorry.

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I'm going to take a different approach...It's called tough love.

Wanting to break up with someone because of your acne (which is not that bad) is plain stupid. DUMB. Not to mention the fact that you think you love him?? How old are you? I'm going to guess 17.

Look, you say you love this guy, right? Actions speak louder than words. You can't say you love someone and then lie to them or want to break up with them over your mild acne. I mean....honesty is everything. You need to be honest with him and tell him whats up. He will only respect you more and his feelings for you will go stronger. Plus you wont have to make up bogus ass excuses anymore of why you cant see him. And if he doesn't except that then F*ck him. Why be with someone that doesn't want to be with you anyway. I'm sure there are other guys out there that would like to be with you. Thats so stupid.

I'm sorry. Really. I apologize. I'm ranting.

I mean no disrespect at all by this post and I'm really so upset by it that I can't even type anymore. It just really, seriously upsets me to hear a girl with mild acne say that she wants to break up with a good guy that she loves because of her mild acne. Especially after reading a post about this guy that has severe cystic acne all over that has never had a girlfriend, never hugged or kissed a girl, or had any type of interaction with them because of his acne. I'm sure he would die to have a face like yours OR at least a girl who was somewhat interested in him. You have someone. You don't know what you got til its gone. Go ahead and break up withhim and see how you feel then. At least you have someone!!

Sorry.

Thanks for the reply and effort you put into it. Your advice makes a lot of sense and my emotions were probably just going into overdrive and i was overreacting. For the record, i told him about it my acne, but he changed the subject, so i guess that means he does not care about it?

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Either he doesnt care about it which is awesome OR it's just too sensitive of a topic for him.

Either way....its awesome that you were open about it and if you are serious about this dude then you just help and strengthened your relationship.I hope it all works out for you

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You can't just hide from those you love because of your skin. My boyfriend says he doesn't even notice my skin, and that he thinks I'm absolutely gorgeous. Just be confident. Confidence goes a long way. Also, stick to your skin care routine and things will get better.

That being said, my best friend hates his girlfriend's acne. He's not ashamed or anything because she's a gorgeous girl and so confident in her looks and abilities, but it does bother him. He gets uncomfortable about skin care issues because of her. Maybe your boyfriend changed the subject when you talked about it because he's aware, but doesn't want to acknowledge it?

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You can't just hide from those you love because of your skin. My boyfriend says he doesn't even notice my skin, and that he thinks I'm absolutely gorgeous. Just be confident. Confidence goes a long way. Also, stick to your skin care routine and things will get better.

That being said, my best friend hates his girlfriend's acne. He's not ashamed or anything because she's a gorgeous girl and so confident in her looks and abilities, but it does bother him. He gets uncomfortable about skin care issues because of her. Maybe your boyfriend changed the subject when you talked about it because he's aware, but doesn't want to acknowledge it?

That could be it... how bad is his girlfriend's acne?

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